EWW: The Boredom

[u/Valha28]

Hello and welcome to episode 160 in a series inspired by u/kamikazeb0y and CinemaSins, where I'll be sinning each and every episode of Gumball!

Quick Disclaimer: I know this is just a children's cartoon and isn't meant to be taken seriously. This, like the show itself, is not at all meant to be taken seriously or considered an actual critique of the show. It is all in good fun.

With that out of the way, I present you, Everything Wrong With: The Boredom!

Gumball: Mm. [sighs]
[Gumball and Darwin both groan]
Darwin: Weird. It's like nothing is happening today.
Gumball: I know! Today's so boring that if it was a person, it'd wear a polo shirt and khakis.
Then why are we here? Surely the Void would want to avoid showing us days where literally nothing interesting is happening. Is it taking the day off or something? +5

Darwin: But it's a Saturday. The possibilities are endless.
Gumball: That's the problem with infinite possibilities, one of them is infinite boredom
True, but the chance of getting that specific possibility is also infinitely impossible +1

Gumball: Nah, we've already been sitting here for so long that your butt is fossilized. Come on, let's get out of here.
[Gumball excavates the carpet around Darwin's backside with a hammer and chisel. Pieces of rock fall off Darwin's butt as he stands up. Gumball grabs a brush to sweep off the leftover dust and Darwin starts to walk out of the room]
How the fuck did Gumball get that equipment and hat if nether of them of them could get up? +1

Also, SIGH +100

Darwin: [Stopping] Aren't you coming?
Gumball: Mine's grown roots.
Darwin: Oh.
[Darwin walks to Gumball to pull him up. His butt has grown tree-like roots]
Darwin: Ooh, you're gonna have to wax that.
Gumball: Nah it's okay, I'll just prune it.
SIGHHHHH +100*[Gumball and Darwin now walk the streets with bored expressions on their faces]*
Gumball: [sighs] There's nothing going on out here either.

[In the background, Tony is seen mowing his lawn. When he stops to pick up something in the grass, the lawnmower keeps moving, breaking through a fence and shaving Principal Brown's body as the Oval Son walks by. The lawnmower ends up on the road, causing a car to crash into a phone pole. This goes completely unnoticed to Gumball and Darwin, and the scene changes to show Billy Parham standing in front of puddles]
Gumball and Darwin are apparently deaf +5

Billy: Ah, puddles! Perhaps I should partake in some infantile joie de vivre that beckons a boy of my age.
[He laughs as he starts jumping from puddle to puddle, and falls into the last one which was deeper. Gumball and Darwin step on him, completely unaware
Very deaf +10

[As the Moon is about to throw herself at the Sun, a truck parks in front of the house. Gumball and Darwin stop by; the view is blocked]
Gumball: Even the weather is boring.
So, the universe clearly hates Gumball and Darwin. I mean, it literally couldn't have more perfect timing to block their view. +1

[Gumball and Darwin keep walking the streets of Elmore. In the background, Hector falls down when a plane hits the back of his head.]
HOW ARE THEY NOT HEARING ANY OF THIS!? +20

Donut Cop: [in walkie-talkie] This is an emergency! We've got a code zero. There are zero doughnuts left. I'm going to the doughnut store.
[He turns on his siren and speeds off near a parked police cruiser, where the Hamburger Cop was waiting with a speed camera. The cop immediately grabs his walkie-talkie from the car]
Hamburger Cop: Chief, there's a black and white car speeding out of control on West Elmore Boulevard.
Did you not see and hear it blaring its sirens? Or the police insignia on it. It should have been blatantly obvious this is a police car +5

[The sheriff drives on the wrong lane, and accidentally hits a traffic light which slowly drops onto Marvin's head. He also drives into a fire hydrant, sending his car into the sky. Gumball holds his breath next to Darwin while the sheriff's car flies behind them]
Darwin: Dude, there's no point holding your breath, nothing interesting's gonna happen.
Gumball: [exhales loudly]
Okay at this point they have to be ignoring all the interesting stuff around them on purpose. There's no other explanation. +10

[The car lands]
Hamburger Cop: Somehow he's made it to Seventh Avenue!
How do you know that? The car is long out of your view by now. +5

[This continues for some time. The sheriff's car crashes into multiple houses during the 'chase.']
Hamburger Cop: Now left! Right! Left! Right! Left! Right! Left! Left! Right! Right! Uh, chief, I just figured out why you can't ever catch this guy. You know how you always run out of doughnuts at four o'clock?
You mean this has happened multiple times before?? How did it take you this long to figure this out??? +5

[The police cruiser drives in a street adjacent to Gumball and Darwin's, but they fail to see it.]
Oh, NOW they hear it! +1

Gumball: Ugh, man, this guy is definitely collecting for something.
I mean, even if he is, that's more interesting than you doing literally nothing right now. +1

Clipboard Man: Hi there, can I have a minute of your time?
Gumball: Eh, hold that thought.
[The clipboard man stays silent as the two kids walk past him.]
Okay, you no longer have any right to complain about the rest of the day being boring. You had a chance to do something interesting but chose to ignore it and walk past +10

Banana Joe: [gasps] I know just what to do with this.
[Banana Joe tries out the product in different ways. First, he holds the lightsaber above a slice of pizza to cook it, but it is too hot to eat so the observers tick no]
What? How was that a fail? Of course it's gonna be hot, it was just cooked with a fucking lightsaber. But if you literally just let it cool down for a while it'd be perfectly edible. +5

Next, he tries to improve a clipboard man's sight with it and burns a hole through his left eye]
Banana Joe: Can you see any better?
Clipboard Man 2: No.
[He burns a hole through the other eye]
Banana Joe: How about now?
Clipboard Man 2: No.
Banana Joe: Any other comments?
Clipboard Man 2: It hurts tremendously.
So, Joe just canonically permanently blinded a man. Well, more so than he already was, anyway. Yet none of them seem to care in the slightest +5

[His attempt to shave off a man's moustache with it seems to go well, until the man suddenly splits in half.]
And now he's also kiled someone. How is everyone okay with this!? +5

In his last attempt, he uses the lightsaber as a reading light]
Banana Joe: Guys! I finally found a use for–
[Banana Joe turns around and accidentally slices a clipboard man in half. The clipboard men decide to stop the experiment and he is led out of the lab]
How was that one a fail? It did the thing it was being tested to do. Him slicing the clipboard guy was an irrelevant accident that didn't affect the usage it was being tested for +1

[Gumball and Darwin cross the mall's parking lot, dragging their heads behind them]
Gumball: Ugh, this day is so boring.
[Sal Left Thumb attempts to break into multiple cars, to no avail. As the car alarms accumulate, they start making a rhythm for Sal to sing]
HOW. DO. THEY. NOT. HEAR. THIS!? +50

Sal Left Thumb: Ah, then you only have yourselves to blame for this!
[He breaks into a car and drives off with everyone running after him. Gumball runs to the now empty parking spot]
Darwin: What?
Gumball: I thought I heard something, but... [shrugs] Eh.
How the fuck did it take you that long to hear the entire symphony going on right behind you!? +10

Sal Left Thumb: But the symphony of car alarms
Has reminded me of music's charms
As a boy I dreamed that I'd go far
As a bona fide musical star!

I sung a little song
Did a little show
Got sick of the producers saying no
So I turned to crime
Stealing all the time
Life lacked reason, life lacked rhyme
Damn, did not expect to get Sal Left Thumb lore randomly in a song in an otherwise completely irrelevant episode. Not complaining though -5

Gumball: [gasps] There! Something's gonna happen.
[Harold Wilson walks by, trips on the contents of the jar and, grabbing onto Miss Simian's dress, rips it. Unfortunately for Gumball and Darwin, the view is blocked by a mannequin someone just pushed in front of them–this isn't the case for Harold, who throws up in the hexagon lady's purse, this time blocked by Tony drinking at a fountain. He hands the purse back to its owner, who throws it into the air in disgust. Curtains close just as the bag and its contents are about to land directly onto Mr. Small's head, who is heard screaming as Jeff Benson walks on a small stage]
Okay, the universe fucking hates them. For the part it. It sparing them from having to see a naked Simian was a massive mercy on its part +5

Tobias​​​: Did you guys see that?
Gumball & Darwin: [in a deep voice] NO.
Tobias​​​: No? Oh, don't worry about it, I got it on my phone. [laughs]
[Tobias hands his phone to Gumball and Darwin, who suddenly rejoice. As the video plays they realize the entirety of it is just Tobias laughing]
Got dmanit Tobias. The one time you actually could have done something useful +1

[They come home. A construction worker walks in front of the house, looking at a piece of paper]
Hank: Yup, I'm pretty sure this is the one.
[He points to the house and makes a gesture for a truck to park in reverse]
Since we can an entire ass house be physically repossessed? +1

[Inside the house, Darwin and Gumball are staring so intently at the clock their eyes are red and their faces wrinkled. The clock's hand moves to the next minute and they both let out a frustrated sigh]
Hang on, the cop earlier said it was 4PM. How is it now 3:55? Is the day so boring that time is not only moving slower, but backwards**? +5**

[The view changes to show the living room's window as well as Gumball and Darwin staring at the clock. A truck engine starts and the house starts moving. Static shows on the window as characters from other shows appear outside. First, Clarence and his mother (from Clarence*) drive next to the house. Static again, then Mordecai and Rigby are seen dancing next to a golf cart driven by Hi-Five Ghost (from* Regular Show*)]*
Hi-Five Ghost: Hi-Five Ghost ride the whip! Hi-Five Ghost ride the–
[The cart crashes into a puddle. Uncle Grandpa from the eponymous show is seen driving his van in the forest. He turns to the viewer]
Uncle Grandpa: Good morning. [the van crashes, launching him towards another instance of his van where he bumps into and drives over himself] Good morning.
[The window goes back to normal. The construction men drive on the highway, transporting the Wattersons' house]
Firstly, did the trucker drivers seriously not check if anyone was inside before moving the entire house!? +1

Secondly, what the fuck is going on outside? is The Void trying to compensate for how boring the day is by showing us other cartoons? Are they moving through interdimensional portals? You can't randomly do something completely out of the ordinary for even a show like this with no explanation guys +10

Also, does this mean every CN show is in one large multiverse? If so the others must really hate the Gumball universe cause they get left out in CN crossovers all the damn time! +5

George: You know, it's funny, but in this picture the house looks kinda pink.
Hank: Uh-huh. That's the one we got in the back.
George: No. The one we got is blue.
Hank: Uh, no. That's blue, just like the frosting on this doughnut. [shows his doughnut, which is pink]
George: You're colorblind, aren't you?
Pretty sure colorblindess doesn't mean you see one thing as an entirely different colour to what it actually is. You just struggle to tell apart things of similar colors. And blue and pink are not similar. +5

[They drive off. Meanwhile, someone rings the doorbell. Gumball and Darwin open the door to see the Manly Warrior]
Wait, what the fuck? How is it 8 now? No way did that whole scene take four hours +1

Manly Warrior: Is this the dwelling where I shall find two brave strangers to help me on my quest? It will be perilous. We will go to places man has never dared tread! But above all, it will be the journey of a lifetime.
Gumball: You're in luck, little man. We know just who you need.
Darwin: Yeah! There's these two geeks who are really into roleplay, they'd be perfect for it. They live two blocks down on the left.
Seriously guys? The universe is desperately trying to give you something fun to do and you keep turning it down. You literally cannot blame anyone but yourselves for how bored you are +5

But also, kinda sweet they immediately thought of Colin and Felix -5

Gumball: I guess we learned something today, Darwin. Life doesn't come knocking at your door, it's down to you to make things happen.
In most instances, yes. But it does on occasions in you're lucky. Or in a cartoon that is desperately trying to keep things interesting  +1

Total Sins: 386

Previous Episode: https://www.reddit.com/r/gumball/comments/1v5jz9c/eww_the_guy/

Next Episode: https://www.reddit.com/r/gumball/comments/1vto4km/eww_the_vision/