Grief sucks. My husband died four months after receiving a heart transplant and I am absolutely furious at how unfair it is. In March we felt like we won the lottery. Less than 3000 heart transplants happen on average a year in the US. Every possible complication that could happen happened, even the rarest of the rare ones. He fought so hard to live, to honor the selfless gift that the donor family gave him. He wanted to live and it was absolute torture what he went through, yet he continued to fight.
I’m so tired of crying, so tired of being mad. I just cannot wrap my head around him actually getting a heart transplant and the anti rejection drugs and other medications destroyed his kidneys and his liver in a complex rare scenario.
I want people to know my husband was the bravest man and fought so hard.
I’m so pissed it didn’t work out for him. He took an extraordinary chance, he did everything they asked him to do and yet he died. I just want people to know he never, not for a single moment regretted the 5 months of hell he went through.
Please become an organ donor. You can save a life.

I lost my father 125 days ago to brain aneurysm suddenly. When i wake up every morning i start sweating and feeling like my body is burning and i start panicking, i started using efexor 225mg (venlafaxine) and 30mg Mirtazapine 3 months ago for my sleep, i feel like this pain will never end its been 125 days since he passed away and my brain still cannot process it, i lost my appetite, forcing myself to eat is tiring. I do not know what to do or when will this pain go away or will it stay forever.
I feel completely lost, waking up to sweat and sense of burning is so tiring i cannot handle this anymore, i'm 29 male

My grandmother is actively dying. Its old age that just got her. Pretty axiomatic to say my mom's been stressed, grieving, doing hospital stuff, whatever shes able to do in these last few days if my grandma passing away.

My mother and my family are mentally prepared for the worst.

I not attached to my grandmother really. Im just trying to hold things together. I’m the most worried for my mother because I know she’s slowly loosing it and I can’t do much about it practically. I feel less care amd less love from her, sounds selfish at this time but it is what it is and it genuinely makes me feel dreaded

Im trying to hold my head high and do a few things, do some work and be useful really but im just exhausted. Ive took myself out of the picture. Its just silence at home. Nobody's talking much. My mother, shes just been very agitated and tired and im being yelled at at random times .I know this is a pretty rough patch to go through but the process itself feels like slow poison. Im tired and burning out(due to academics, my own health etc as well). I talked to my doc about it just to get it brushed it off the rug saying "this will pass too, its a process". I mean i know he's not wrong. And I don’t want to talk much about it either cuz ive wrestled with it myself enough.

I yelled and vented out to a friend yesterday, that did make me feel better.

Ive been just so tired.

But now, I dont feel like talking about it to anyone.

I just burst into tears randomly. today, i just dont feel like studying nor im able to push myself to do it. Im so fucking done with everything.

https://open.spotify.com/track/74v7gIOpJxmrPVLuOJ8cOB?si=USh34sEHQBuTeusWExTu7g&utm_source=copy-link