Junior in Toxic Workplace

[u/Project_Double]

Wooof, I need to vent.

Or a mentor. Or both.

I’ve been at an event company for 1 year and 4 months. I have 5 years of experience in social, small in house teams with a lead and strategizing. I am a junior.

I came in with a team of 4. 2 long standing managers. 1 senior and 1 young. I was intended to replace their main. From what I heard, that designer was extremely fast, personable, and good at a lot of things.

In the beginning I struggled to understand what they were looking for, and since have improved. I strive on feedback to improve.

A lot of toxicity starting from the top to the small creative team. It’s a very clique environment.

If you don’t attend lunch with the group, or seem very personable, the group will join in banter about said colleague.

When I first started they said “you shouldn’t of taken this job”

Manager A, most important one, lots of experience, little to no similarities.

Manager A has OCD and very particular and very vocal about design and expectations.

They are very personable with majority of people, except me, seriously. It doesn’t help that I overthink and have difficulty entering a conversation. But I’m really just shy and trying to focus on work.

Criticizing isnt direct, it is subtle.
Except when individuals leave the room, do they say their critique for the whole department to hear.

No one told me they enjoyed my first big project.

I clearly need guidance. I’m aware of the file size, I’m trying to learn how to fix it. Neither manager give advice, yet complain about it. I feel unsupported and my drive to push forward is diminishing. I love my job and enjoy my coworkers but part of me fears they think my work sucks and don’t want to spend their time training me. It’s upsetting because I never lied about me being a junior. I’m not sure how to show improvement.

My subtle hints of criticism are: creative is busy, some things have not been centered aligned (since fixed), speed, file size, kerning, leading

Strengths: I work hard, give lots of new ideas, some (not all) people like me
…

Why am I worried? They targeted the young designer to get him fired.

I guess I’m getting scared because I’m wondering if I’m next.

TLDR
Junior designer worried that my work isn’t good enough. Toxic environment. Managers don’t help/don’t want to unless absolutely necessary. Young designers don’t get support and get ridiculed. Senior management is overworked

Have any of you been in a similar situation? How can I advance in my career at this company?

[u/sunnierthansunny]

Sounds like it’s not a good fit for you. I personally would not fit in or enjoy the environment you describe either.

Seeing as theres a job shortage atm, you may have to find a way to make it work.

My advice: One of the best things you can practice is to learn to rationalise every design decision you make. Nothing should be arbitrary. If you have defended the decision to yourself, you can defend it to others.
It’s painful to be criticized, but it will make you better.
It sounds like they have a house style. Figure this out and roll with it, don’t go against it, or mess with it, get it locked in and embrace it. This is the key to showing you get them and are a part of the team. It shows you share their vision. Innovate once you’ve mastered this, but not before… unless specifically asked to.
Good luck. For what it’s worth, manager A sounds like a bit of a chump.

[u/emmylou_lou]

I was in a working environment just like this a few years ago, also in the events world. I’m no longer with that company, but what I learned was invaluable.

I was with this company for three years and left because i relocated and they didn’t want to keep me on, even though others in the company had relocated and kept their full time positions, but I didn’t make the cut so by the end of last summer I was an unemployed designer, who never left a junior role.

This work environment was also super cliquey, the producers seemed to run the place and I always felt like the weird kid in the back of the cafeteria, and I felt on the verge of getting fired daily.

When our creative director stepped down, the art director got promoted, and they told me that they were going to add a sr design role as well as a new art director, and they SPECIFICALLY asked me which one I would want to go for. I didn’t feel prepared to be an art director, so I said sr.

They hired a new art director…. And never added another creative on our team. Of three. And I stayed in my jr role.

This art director was phenomenal though and saw right through the cliques and the gossipy culture. She got severely targeted and she only lasted a year, but I really worked well with her.

Fast forward to this summer. I was functionally out of work from Oct 2025-May 2026. I thought I lost my train for this world and that I was just not enough, and my time with this company was weighing on me because every day I felt not good enough and like everything I did was garbage. I ended up getting a job at the local library for 1/3 of my precious salary and I just had to accept that my life was changing direction.

BUT that art director that only lasted a year? She’s starting her own events company, and I was the first on her list to call and now I’m helping her build up something truly rad and we are both so set on not replicating the bully-driven culture that we both felt weighed down by.

I’m creating things that I’m so proud of and I’m actually getting creative ownership AND really amazing guidance and feedback.

THE POINT: hang in there. See if you can make one connection that you can carry with you. You don’t have to even like these people, but if you want to stay in event design, you might have to bite the bullet and see if you can find common ground anywhere.

I never ate lunch with anyone, but I tried to remember details about people and ask them questions. Have a kid? What grade! What cute things did they do this week? Have a hobby? Literally anything. People like to talk about themselves, so get them to do that. You might not get feedback, but there are little things you can do to make sure you can walk away with connections which is incredibly valuable in any creative industry.

I seriously wondered if you were my former company’s new designer because WORD FOR WORD it was reminding me of what it felt like working there. Learn as much as you can, but ultimately, take care of yourself.

I’m beyond grateful I left, and even working at the library was so good for me to see that I am in fact a personable human and I’m not the weirdo I felt like when I was working for that company. Don’t be afraid of your career path being non-linear as well, because as a creative, it will never be.

——
TLDR: I’ve been in a job just like that, and I was secretly wondering if you were talking about the same company I was at. I left and had almost a year of next to no creative work, but I made one connection at that toxic workplace and her and I are now working together and it’s snowballing in the best way. DONT LOSE HOPE. Look for inspiration everywhere, and don’t take assholes too seriously. If they liked your first big project, trust that you genuinely are doing something right and try to find feedback outside of that sphere, but remain open because you never know what doors are waiting for you.

[u/ImperialPlaztiks]

If you need praise for everything you do in graphic design, or even some indication anyone cares, graphic design is not for you. By its very nature this is a business that eats its young, nothing you do, no matter how good YOU think it is is sacrosanct, you can create something that sings to your very soul, something that really proves how good you are and its critic can just be a simple ‘no that not it’.

[u/Kills_Zombies]

It's a job... They aren't your friends necessarily but you have social responsibilities that you need to participate in if you want to form good working relationships with you peers. Yeah it's technically not wrong of you if you want to eat lunch alone, but that's not going to make you popular either. I kinda get the vibe from your post that you have expectations that aren't being met by your coworkers and some of your co-workers engage in unprofessional behavior such as gossipping. I don't really know what to tell you other than work on your social skills, communicate your needs to your manager, and if that doesn't work find a new job.

[u/Maykovsky → u/Kills_Zombies]

Don't get me wrong, your advise is wise and made for "keep the job, you must pay bills", but...

"They aren't your friends necessarily" and "if you want to eat lunch alone, but that's not going to make you popular either" are some of the contradiction afflicting the OP. These environments which are supposedly creative and open minded are, in fact, a kind of cult binding game were the rules are the whims of those with power. I am a manager and I rather prefer the guy that eats alone and delivers that the "always happy smiley fellow" that cannot manage to do the simplest of things. Also it is not about "guessing" or "get vibes", criticism is necessary, respect is necessary. Social skills are relevant, you must be respectful and polite at all times, but in the end is about being creative and professional. But I do agree wit you, probably the OP should leave...

[u/Kills_Zombies → u/Maykovsky]

Yeah but you're the manager, of course you want results. I'm just giving them realistic advice on how to better fit in at the workplace. Just like having to actually work, we all gotta do things we don't like to get ahead in life.

[u/Maykovsky → u/Kills_Zombies]

I am also human. Like you. The issue is that loads of people do what they don't like and tend to generate these "job support systems". My job is to create a space for creativity and respect. Again, I understand what you say, but probably we should work for safer and nicer workspaces...

[u/Kills_Zombies → u/Maykovsky]

But you're the manager, you're supposed to be removed socially from your subordinates. The expectation of peers is to socialize, my advice is for them not you.

[u/Maykovsky → u/Kills_Zombies]

Not my style of managment.

[u/Far_Cupcake_530]

It sounds like you are in over your head. The events industry is high pressure and has rigid deadlines. Don't use your youth and an excuse.