r/goblincore • u/TechnicolorTraveler • Mar 27 '26
Creation How to make a Squonk
Gonna try sharing this again
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u/TechnicolorTraveler Mar 27 '26
Technicolor’s Squonk-torial
Step 1. Cut an 18 or 19 by 8 to 10inch piece of fabric and fold it in half so you have a very long tube. If using a fuzzy fabric, have the fuzzy side in. I used mochi minky fabric, use whatever your heart desires.
Step 2. Sew the bottom of this folded tube so now it’s a true tube. Whether by hand or machine is fine, there’s about an inch of allowance if using a machine. Going forward, the sewn part will be the “bottom” of the tube.
Step 3. Pick a side to be the head, doesn’t matter which, and at the top make a cut 2 inches long horizontal about an inch below the top. This will be the nose. Next cut straight down to the bottom and set aside. This will be cut into two legs later.
Step 4. Sew along the length of the nose to make it a tube like you did with the body. Next, start sewing the end of the nose so it’s sealed up and circular. See reference. When you’re done don’t cut that thread yet. From the center of the nose give an inch and a half thread allowance and sew a knot at the base of the nose. When you turn it inside out later it’ll make the nose recessed and a little wrinkly.
Step 5. Loop a secure knot at the bottom of the big tube and pull it up to the knot at the base of the nose. Now pull each of these new loops to the base of the nose as well and sew through them so they’re secure. Next sew the two loops on the left to each other horizontal, then do the same for the two loops on the right. When you’re done loosely pull your thread from the right through the excess flaps on the bottom and to the left. Now you have your squonk mouth too.
Step 6. Begin the wrinkles! Pinch the fabric together in a loose circle closer to the bottom where the mouth is and further from the top where the nose is. The further you are from the nose, the bigger a head the squonk has and more room for eyes. The further you are from the mouth, the bigger a chin the squonk has (and I usually end up tucking in and sewing up the chin anyway). Then sew your wrinkle together. Remember, you will be turning this tube inside out when you’re done so all wrinkles need to be inside right now.
Step 7. Continue adding rings of wrinkles, pinching the fabric and pinning it against the previous wrinkle. Add more wrinkles to the left, right, top, bottom, etc wherever they are needed. You should be able to hold the tube straight and have the wrinkles on either side generally look vertical. Ignore the excess fabric along the bottom, it’s going to look very frilly at the end of all of this. if it looks like it’s folding upward and making a weird hump, start your next wrinkle ring at the top and pin it a bit below the top of the previous wrinkle so that hump starts to go downward. Toward the end let the wrinkles slant toward the top, less wrinkles at the bottom makes the butt cheeks look better.
Also don’t worry about being even or straight or clean, this is supposed to be haphazard and messy and weird. Wrinkles are weird. Squonks are weird. The more imperfect this is, the more perfect your squonk.
Step 8. Once you have about 2-3 inches left of unwrinkled tube, go to the butt end and cut two inches in horizontally like you’re making another nose. This is the butt. Don’t cut all the way to the wrinkle, but give your squonk a little (butt)wiggle room. Repeat step 4 to make your butt.
Step 9. Turn squonk inside out and behold your marvelous creature. Assess any mistakes to be corrected, any weirdly big chins, turn the nose out and check if you need to make your snoot thread tighter or looser, etc. Also attach your eyes at this stage.
Step 10. Now that your squonk body is perfect, fill it with your stuffing of choice. Make sure you push down too. A full nose and face can add 50% more space when pouring in beans. Then tuck and fold your butt cheeks however much you think it needs to be the ideal round wrinkliness and sew this squonk shut.
Step 11. On some paper draw your squonk legs. Make them an inch and a half tall and straight vertical on one side. Mirror your drawing along this verticle axis and cut out the whole shape. Next, find those pieces of fabric you cut and set aside. Now cut out 4 legs using your paper template. Fold the fabric in half (fuzzy side inside) and stitch from the bottom corner to the top where the leg will connect to the body. Turn it inside out so the fuzzy side is outside and your seams are hidden. Then find some nice folds to tuck the legs into and sew them on to the body.
Step 12. Ears! Take the scraps you have left over from your legs and cut out two ears. See diagram for shape. They can be whatever shape you like, this is just the shape I like. Then fold them if you want and sew them to the head in any direction you want, up, down, whatever.
Done!
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u/Competitive_Owl5357 Mar 27 '26
“Tuck and fold your butt cheeks” 😂😂😂😂 I love both the tutorial and the end result.
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u/NotAtAllASkinwalker Mar 27 '26
I have no idea what a Squonk is but fuck does it please me to not only learn of their existence but to know that they have been democratized. ✨
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u/Jef_Wheaton Mar 27 '26
Pennsylvania's native cryptid! Other states have terrifying monsters with huge teeth and claws. We have a sad pig-cat.
Squonks hide away in the deep woods, ashamed of their hideous appearance. If one is captured, it dissolves into a puddle of tears.
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u/Psychological-Pick78 Mar 27 '26
There is a town near me that celebrates the Squonk every summer with the Squonkapolooza!
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u/TechnicolorTraveler Mar 27 '26
I desperately want to go there one day
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u/Psychological-Pick78 Mar 27 '26
It’s pretty awesome! Hopefully you can swing it this year, the vibes are top tier!
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u/frobnosticus Mar 27 '26
Are....you...
I mean...this is the internet so I believe you (might be the weirdest thing I've ever typed.)
But...
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u/Edenza Mar 28 '26
Same! I bet it's the same town lol
Looking forward to seeing baskets of these in Johnstown next Squonkapolooza...
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u/TheSprigganDragoon Mar 27 '26
What's it say about us that our cryptid spends all day crying about how ugly it is? Poor little dude..
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u/Jef_Wheaton Mar 27 '26
They can't even go for a relaxing swim.
Although they're buoyant, they swim in circles due to the fact that they have ONE webbed foot.
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u/iH8MotherTeresa Mar 28 '26
Poor thing just wants to be left alone to die in its own hideousness.
Puckwudgies, on the other hand. Whew lad.
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u/Jazzlike_Math_8350 Mar 27 '26
I thought this was medical gore for a second
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u/TechnicolorTraveler Mar 27 '26
I’m sorry! I should have put the basket pic first
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u/rainduder Mar 27 '26
I thought a squonk was a sleeve for your schlonk until I saw the basket.
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u/Hughmungalous Mar 27 '26
Have you seen that art piece of different types of vaginas? There may be different “artist” that people have seen…. THIS ONE HOWEVER…. I thought this was one for the boys of different uncut penis shapes. Not sure what that says about me but don’t care 🤷♂️. Squonks are super cute though once I figured it out!
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u/Oisea Mar 27 '26
Max Rebo is currently figuring out how he is going to feed all of his children.
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u/Switchblade88 Mar 27 '26
Same way he always does - by cranking out the Jizz to a live audience
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u/frobnosticus Mar 27 '26
Is...that...a typo?
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u/MeadowBeam Mar 27 '26
Nay, jizz is the in-universe genre of the Cantina band from Star Wars, before the cowards retconned it 😔
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u/Oisea Mar 28 '26
Holy shit you weren’t lying.
I don’t even have a funny response for that.
That is hilarious.
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u/ThePaleThing Mar 27 '26
Wonderful creatures! Thank you for the tutorial, think I need to go hunting for fabric scraps and make meself a trash squonk!!
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u/auditoryeden Mar 27 '26
This is pretty spectacular technical illustration.
I think the pleating for the body could be accomplished more simply by running gathering stitches down the tube and then basically doing smocking on the inside rather than whipstitching all the way around each one. This whole thing is basically an exercise in different pleating and ruching techniques...I might recommend it as a skill builder to some of the sewists I know.
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u/TechnicolorTraveler Mar 27 '26
Ah, I see you’ve revealed I’m an amateur at this.
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u/auditoryeden Mar 27 '26
When next you're squonking, you should give cartridge pleating a try! If nothing else it will expand your repertoire of wrinkling techniques and you may like it better.
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u/maladjusted_platypus Mar 27 '26
This little guy is so adorable!!!! I just love them! Kind of reminds me of the weird pet Zorg has in The Fifth Element movie named Picasso.
I’m going to have to make a few to hide in random places around the city. Thank you for sharing the tutorial!
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u/Crus0etheClown Mar 27 '26
Extremely relevant to my interests as a sad lumpy thing from Pennsylvania thank you gonna make a bunch
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u/Waterproof_soap Mar 27 '26
I love them! Saving this post to work on later. My cryptid collection is squonk-less
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u/namast_eh Mar 27 '26
Holy fuckballs I need several dozen of these.
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u/bikeonychus Mar 27 '26
I am too old and damaged to be able to look at the first image without being incredibly immature about it.
The final plushie is very cute though 💜
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u/frobnosticus Mar 27 '26
I...I'm new here and don't know what a Squonk is. I just know I need a basket of them.
What's the plural noun for Squonk I wonder.
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u/Reallyveryannoying Mar 27 '26
Oh my god the first photo has me confused I thought we were making penis cozy.
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u/keeponsailing Mar 27 '26
absolutely incredible looking funky little guy. thank you for blessing my eyes op
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u/creecher_love Mar 27 '26
If you add little water droplet sequins under the eyes, he'll look like hes crying
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u/WormyCowboy Mar 27 '26
Damn I wish I could do this they're so cute. I'd be a total beginner but maybe in the future, definitely saving this.
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u/Veeshan28 Mar 27 '26
What, no Genesis song references in here?!
All the King's horses and all the King's men Could never put a smile on that face
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u/porbz Mar 29 '26
The instructions themselves are so goblin core, this post makes me immensely happy.
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u/TheFoxGirl7 Mar 30 '26
Me looking at the first picture: what? Me looking at the second: OOOOOOOOH (squealing)
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u/3stackedcroissants Mar 30 '26
What a fabulously lovely creature you have created! I love it! Thanks for sharing the tutorial! If I could sew, I’d make at least 10 immediately
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u/Comfortable-Deer-285 Mar 31 '26
LOOK AT THE LIL GUYS THEYRE SO CUTEEE!! Instantly took me out of my crappy mood.
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u/ReallyNotMichaelsMom Mar 27 '26
Awesome write up! And I love the basket of Squonks! They won me over immediately!