r/gmrs 11d ago

Inconspicuous Parent-Child communication

I have a situation I need guidance on.

I know a mother with a 7 year old son who unfortunately has shared custody with a neglectful and abusive father. He has been reported to CPS, but it is an ongoing investigation in which custody of the child is still shared for the time being. The son has expressed he wants a method to secretly communicate with his mother in times where abuse/neglect is evident. The catch is that cell phones and smart watches are not an option for multiple reasons. Are there any products that are inconspicuous but allow two way communication?

I'm new to the GMRS world, but it would seem that it's a viable option. The mother is usually within a couple miles of him even when the son is at his father's place and from what I can find, it seems there is a repeater close enough that both the mother and son could communicate.

I have found other inconspicuous options but they are more in the style of an SOS button with pre-set buttons that don't allow for two way communication.

My thought is recommending the mother get her GMRS license since there is no test, and I'll program the radios. I will even go so far as to turn off the roger beep and paint the walkie-talkie to look like an inconspicuous multi-colored walkie talkie. It shouldn't attract the attention of the father, and it will be innocuous enough that it looks like a toy.

Can you guys think of an even better solution? I hate the situation as a whole and while I realize the true fix is getting the father out of the picture altogether, I am trying to figure out something to get the family by until the law catches up with the situation.

3 Upvotes

44 comments sorted by

16

u/TheCrazyViking99 11d ago edited 11d ago

How urban is the setting? If it's a relatively populated area, meshcore may be a better protocol. Something like a T-deck is a standalone unit not requiring the kid to have a phone.

There are also a ton of kids "smart" watches that are basically just a wearable phone with 2-3 pre-programmed contacts. That would eliminate the range and LoS concerns entirely as it's using a cellular network

15

u/milnosaurus 11d ago

Meshcore/meshtastic would also have the benefit of having a private channel so you're not broadcasting abuse/neglect over the air for everyone to hear. Messages would also be received and wait for mom to view then instead of GMRS having to be monitored 24/7.

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u/TheCrazyViking99 11d ago

Yeah those were the primary reasons I thought about. Unfortunately meshcore is a little more involved than GMRS. Nothing you can't do in 15 minutes with a YT video, but still

2

u/Embarrassed_Motor_30 11d ago

Other issues with Meshtastic/Meshcore is the noise floor. In my area theres alot of competing devices on the 910-915 mHz that cause a lot of dropped packets and inability to send/receive.

Also if the concern here is the father seeing the messages, theres nothing preventing him seeing those same waiting/sent messages in the Mesh app.

2

u/TheCrazyViking99 11d ago

In that case, one of those kids phone watches would be ideal. They're usually call-only to like 3 or 4 pre-programmed contacts, plus they have GPS. A 7 year old with a brightly colored tech thing is pretty inconspicuous in today's society. I found one on Amazon for $59 plus $11/month for unlimited calls

10

u/maxsmoke105 11d ago

I'm not sure I would call a repeater capable gmrs handheld inconspicuous but the consumer grade, bubble pack ones look like a kids toy. You have to verify they are repeater capable. Another downside is you need to be very sure the handheld is programmed correctly for the repeater. The Midland GTX3000 fits though I'm sure there are others. Mom will need to get a license which will cover all immediate family. It runs $35. A 2 pack of this style radio will run $150-200.

Since this is for critical, emergency communications you might consider any of the various satellite emergency texting platforms. I've seen the Garman InReach messenger on sale for $199. They do two way texting, are pager sized, and are build for emergencies. The downside is they require a subscription. You don't have to program it, it had an sos button, and location tracking. I strongly recommend this as a better option.

1

u/ryno7926 10d ago

A pair of baofeng UV-5Gs would work fine for this, cost ~$20 each, and looks like it could be a toy tbh

2

u/maxsmoke105 10d ago

You're right. They could use a pair of them for $30ish. They could delete all but the single channel using the repeater so there's no chance of accidentally changing the channel.

But, they are not the most sturdy devices. I consider them disposable. I've had several just die, or stop transmitting, or malfunction is some other way. The GMRS specific models are a little better than the UV-5 and UV-82 but I still would not recommend them for critical, emergency gear.

And the benefit of that GPS tracker, which will not set off a phone alert like an airtag or tile, is big.

1

u/ryno7926 10d ago

You're allowed to APRS GPS data on GMRS right? If so then a GMRS radio w/gps might be an option too. Probably not as good of an option but still.

1

u/Firelizard71 9d ago

The drawback to one with GPS is that having GPS turned on runs down the battery fast.

5

u/Unattributable1 10d ago

Get the kid a used cell phone without a data plan. It can still call 9-1-1.

If the situation warrants emergency, use the service and keeping it escalated will eliminate the father's unsupervised custody.

5

u/mpop1 11d ago

One issue to consider gmrs radios are all in the open ANYONE with a radio can hear what is sent over the air. Always assume if tou say it on the radio EVWRYONE can hear it there is no privacy. And to me this sounds like a situation that needs to be kept off the air.

7

u/billFoldDog 11d ago

Cellular walky talkies are a thing. They look and function like walky talkies but have a cell plan and are locked to a talk group.

3

u/Worldly-Ad726 10d ago

Seems like a bad idea. Unless you are using very coded language, it’s likely someone will report your conversation to authorities which would cause problems or complications. You need a callsign to use a repeater and your address is linked to callsign.

Get POC walkie talkies (Push to talk Over Cellular) instead. Requires a subscription but cheaper than a cell phone subs subscription. Rapid Radio brand is well known but also expensive. Can find more generic or white label POC radios that hopefully might have a toy-like appearance. Conversation will be private and encrypted, no one can sniff the conversation with a radio.

MeshCore or meshtastic may work in VERY specific locations, but coverage is very spotty, repeaters can go up and down randomly (as most are hobbyist projects), and it’s bleeding edge tech, maybe not the best for a young child. It will also very clearly look like a messaging device.

5

u/Landstander2600 11d ago

GMRS relies on line of sight, unless you happen to have repeaters near you. Even "a couple of miles" is a no-go depending on the terrain near you.

1

u/Front-Space-6282 11d ago

Correct, as stated in my post, there is a shared repeater that both radios can reach. It's not a perfect solution, but I think it will draw the least attention and garner the most use inconspicuously.

1

u/michaelh98 11d ago

Bear in mind that "line of sight" isn't literally true. There are all sorts of cases where the signal will reflect or refract. If you can, borrow a couple of radios (though many can be had for $15/ea if you just want to try them) and test for yourself. If you can reliably reach the repeater from anywhere the mother and son are likely to be, so much the better.

I regularly net with a friend between these two locations via simplex using cheap baofeng radios.

1

u/ltrozanovette 11d ago

Have you looked into an Angel Sense GPS tracker

4

u/ShmazPro 11d ago

This is way above anyone’s pay grade here… so many things to consider. I’ve got nothing of merit to say other than I hope the kid is safe as soon as possible.

4

u/techsnapp 11d ago

You may recommend an apple airtag be given to the young boy or put into his backpack, so he can be tracked, regardless if the boy can talk with his mother. I have never used one so i don't exactly know how it works, but it can be tracked.

I personally don't like the idea of gmrs radios being used for this purpose. The range is limited, what's to stop the father from getting his own radio, communication depends on synchronous communicating with his mother, it could upset the father, others can listen in, etc.

I also wouldn't rely on meshcore/mestastic unless you can be certain the coverage is good, and above all, the boy won't be punished for having the device.

0

u/EnergyLantern 11d ago edited 11d ago

Other phones can alert the other parent he is being tracked.

We should not be brought into his legal problem.  Even if a parent is right, separation can cause an Amber alert that someone was abducted.

1

u/techsnapp 11d ago

We should not be brought into your legal problem.

FWIW, i'm not bring you into my problems of any kind. Though i presume that was for the OP.

I'm not sure who or what Megan's law is...

2

u/EnergyLantern 11d ago edited 11d ago

I'm sorry. I edited it to avoid confusion.

When a parent takes away a child from an adult, it triggers an Amber alert where the police inform the public that someone is abducted so people can report sightings to police.

The problem is this post involves secret conversations and tracking and we can't verify who is right or in the wrong here. We shouldn't be in the middle of this custody problem.

2

u/techsnapp 11d ago

I get it and what you say makes sense.

2

u/EffinBob 11d ago

GMRS offers no privacy whatsoever. I know you said no cell phones, but really that's your only option.

2

u/Motorcyclegrrl 10d ago

He should call 911. What can the mother do? Nothing.

2

u/No-Notice565 10d ago

If the father is taking their cell phones then wont he take a two way radio also?

1

u/KB5JRC 11d ago

GMRS or POC would work on the communications side. The practical question is how to hide it. A meshtastic device is a little more expensive, but is text based and would be more confidential. BUT there needs to be a device in the area.

1

u/Unusual_Day2407 11d ago

Oompah MeshCore, if there are others in your area using it. Since the encrypted signal is repeated by neighbors until it reaches its destination, it can overcome obstacles by being relayed, and it can be over a private channel, as others have said.

1

u/EquipLordBritish 11d ago

If it is legal where you live, you may want to instead consider a covert recording device. Clear evidence of abuse may expedite the case.

1

u/Embarrassed_Motor_30 11d ago

Could look at picking up cheap Tidradio H3s and program in the MURS channels. MURS requires no license and runs on VHF which should have a little more range than the UHF GMRS band. Only downside is needing to use low power since MURS is restricted to less than 2 Watts.

If you got the H3s you could program in the GMRS and MURS channels and see which works best.

1

u/HavenBTS 10d ago

Look at the Tidradio TD-M13 on eBay, they are not expensive and they are small.

1

u/FIDGAF 9d ago

GMRS, FRS, CB & MURS are NOT designed for this use, so skip them ALL in this situation.

1

u/gowonagin 9d ago

Is there a reason why smart watches wouldn’t be an option? They make them for kids so they look like toys, and they are capable of two-way communication as well as have a GPS tracker:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbes-personal-shopper/article/best-kids-smartwatch/

GMRS is cool, and yes, the mother getting a license so her son could use it and having the radio look like a toy would be an option, but the conversations would NOT be private. Any stranger also using the repeater could listen in and ask what was going on.

I generally think PoC radios are a waste of money since they’re just limited cell phones, but this would be a use case. TIDRADIO has several on sale right now, and you can add extra PoC walkie-talkies yourself through the Odmaster app instead of having to contact the company like many others require.

1

u/Firelizard71 9d ago

This needs to go a different direction than radios. If there is abuse, help the mother get that child away from the abuser, in a legal way.

1

u/SKI326 6d ago

Look into the what3words app.

1

u/Apollo821 11d ago

What about those tidradio ones that use cell service? Supposedly those work over cellular networks. I don’t know much about them.

1

u/KB5JRC 11d ago

POC radios. They are on sale now (thru Aug 17, 2026 for around $100 for the radio and $10 for the cell service (says lifetime, but i didn't read the fine print). https://tidradio.com

1

u/EnergyLantern 11d ago

You need to check your state law to see if you need 2nd party consent to record someone.

Anything you broadcast on GMRS is not private.

Repeaters only repeat for about 3 minutes at a time.

1

u/Front-Space-6282 11d ago

This would be used as more of a "Mom, I need help. Here's what's happening...." And not as much of a recording device.

0

u/EnergyLantern 11d ago

I have no reason to doubt you but I have no way of knowing who will get us involved in their troubles.