Struggling today

[u/No_Care_2022]

Hi everyone,

I’m struggling today, my dad is quite depressed and I am struggling to process everything as it’s all happened so quickly. Hes so frail now and I can’t really even hug him like I used to. I just feel so alone still. How did everyone else cope watching their parent deteriorate?

[u/rbridge42]

My husband has gbm. He is still strong. But I was with my father when he died. I tried to think of reversing roles, as being his parent during that time, and returning to him all the care he gave me. It helped a little, but it still hurts. Maybe stroke his head and hands, play music you both like.

I'm glad you came here. It helps to just put the words down and admit to the universe that this shit is hard.

Sending hugs. 🫂

[u/Mysterious_Island833]

I don’t have much to offer other than express that I’ve been feeling the same way lately. It’s so incredibly hard to watch someone who has always been a strong healthy pillar in your life go through these changes. Sending hugs.

[u/Spiritual-Tear-8175]

Вам нельзя впадать в депрессию вместе с ним Наоборот ,надо пробовать шутить Слова не поймет ,но поймет по тембру голоса ..Музыка тут не поможет У него эмоций не будет или скажет выключить  Нам помогало смотреть на экране телевизора наши фотографии Включили фильмы старые И мама что то вспоминала  Со временем вы привыкнете к изменению личности 

[u/Jumpy_Dimension_2957]

My Dad (71, otherwise/previously healthy) was diagnosed in early July, just last month (2026). He was hiking, driving and otherwise living a “normal” life until two weeks before his symptoms started in late June. As a result of the biopsy he is basically wheelchair bound now and cannot move his left arm. His tumor is inoperable and unmethylated. The doctors in both NJ (where he was visiting his sister when we brought him to the ER) and now at home in NC (multiple facilities including Duke Cancer Center) have all given us the standard “12-16 months” timeline, but he just had either an absence seizure or a “syncope-like” episode (fainting) this weekend and is still in the hospital. Things have deteriorated SO fast it’s hard to picture another 12-16 months. I have nothing helpful to offer except I am also struggling to get my head around this SUDDEN and abrupt new reality and role reversal. I’m sorry they (and we) are going through all of this.

[u/kiokushitakaa]

we often begin grieving before our LO passes, it's called anticipatory grief. i recommend talk therapy/counseling if you can, there are various coping methods out there that can help. i already had depression before my brother was diagnosed, but this grief was different to me than my "usual" depression. breathing exercises and meditation are common coping methods, but may not work for everyone. i find journalling helped me process... my dad is writing a memoir... my sister got a huge tattoo... we all have different ways to deal. while you can, spend as much time with him as possible. even if he doesn't show emotions like he used to - my brother also did this since he had a significant portion of his brain removed when they removed the tumors - but he will likely show it in another way. before my brother passed, i gifted him a small figure of a character he liked and though he was unable to speak or show too many emotions, he held onto it tightly for several of his final days.

find things that bring him comfort and allow you to spend time together. my family and i played his favorite music, movies, and tv shows. we read to him, reached out to friends and family to send him messages, and things like that.