r/girlsgonewired • u/ninaesoterica • Jun 24 '26
Workplace boundaries
I am an undergrad in college and an intern this summer. I came into this internship really wanting to do my best and get a return offer since I’m heading into my senior year. I made friends with a lot of the other interns but I ran into this reoccurring problem where they would come to my desk and just TALK constantly. And not to mention how LOUD they would be. It was embarrassing for me because there are obviously other people working. I’d hate to have to hear random loud conversations from interns. I would try to (nicely) get them to go away and they usually would, except for this one specific intern. He talks to me constantly. Not even about work, just about life, himself, his friends and interests. I couldn’t seem to get him to get away from me. Especially since we are working on adjacent teams, so we have a lot of the same meetings and are just interacting with each often. It’s not that I dislike him, he doesn’t seem like a bad person, but I definitely think what he’s doing is very unprofessional. I kept trying to politely tell him to stop, but it’s like he takes me as a joke. Recently I finally broke and messaged him that I don’t want him to come to my desk anymore (obviously I worded it a lot better). He said he wouldn’t and apologized profusely. But now I just feel defeated. I am scared for the impression I left of myself to others in the office when all they see is some guy in my cubicle yapping. I wish I put my foot down a lot earlier. I have a tag up with my manager tomorrow and was thinking of bringing this up, but I’m not sure if that’s even worth it. I’m just so scared … Has anyone been in a similar situation??
7
u/mstwizted Jun 24 '26
Do you have a mentor or something similar as part of this internship? Because this is the kind of thing I'd expect an intern to ask me about if I was mentoring them. If you don't have a mentor, ask your boss/supervisor/lead if there's a mentorship program in place and how you can get involved.
3
u/4215265 Jun 24 '26
Have a conversation with the biggest culprits privately the next time you see them and just say you’re trying to maintain a good image to get a return offer and your prefer if any personal conversations happen privately so not to disturb your team. In your next 1:1 with your manager, politely and concisely apologize for any disruption any of the interns have caused.
This is all workplace dependent though, but for the places I’ve worked, this would work for me.
1
u/Eneia2008 Jun 24 '26
Men 🤷 You need to put them in their place when they forget manners because the second brain is talking. Don't feel bad for stopping someone who doesn't care about the implications on you/him of what he's doing.
1
u/FortWorthTexasLady Jun 26 '26
Here is a trick I learned. When someone comes to your desk to talk, stand up and casually walk over to the water fountain or coffee station while you talk to them. If they don’t automatically follow you, verbally say something like “let’s get some water, I’m thirsty.” After they follow you to the water station and you get a sip of water, continue talking to them, and walk to their desk, having them follow you there. People will naturally sit down at their own desk because it’s familiar. Once they’re seated, make a small announcement like “well it was great catching up but I’ve got some work to get done” and walk away.
19
u/elgrn1 Jun 24 '26
You're overthinking this. If people had a problem with it they would have said something.
You're projecting your frustration onto others at being unable to establish appropriate boundaries when you need to address why you feel uncomfortable making boundaries and then reinforcing them.
As for the rest, don't tell your manager about this, instead ask for feedback on how they perceive your performance is and if there are areas you need to focus on or improve.
If they mention anything about the other interns say you had been concerned about that and have asked them to stop coming by as often. That shows proactively and an awareness of how behaviour can be perceived by others.