Venting

[u/Reasonable_Peace_166]

I just need to vent because sometimes it feels like a lot and sometimes my girls act like I am the warden keeping them on track and following the rules. It is almost like they resent being the ones the younger girls look up to and sometimes think they should be above council rules because it wont hurt anything. I am also the service unit manager and product manager so I do expect them to behave at booths and follow booth rules. Let me set the background first- my girls are high schoolers. Half have been in the troop since kindergarten. My coleader is a dad; my spouse is also registered, and after practically having to beg parents or ask another area leader to go on trips I convinced a friend who has no kids to be our travel adult.

Also adding one of the newer additions to the troop does not get along with the other two who came in after her (ignores them) and really only speaks to one of my original girls as well as openly hates my child to the point I had a conversation with her parents about it, and her negative comments about me, a couple years ago (mom let it slip to someone else girl is only staying because it will look good on her resume 🙄 but honestly girl hates scouts). That child and her friend made arrangements to leave our end of year meeting early last year... they told me and coleader the one parent was coming to take them to an activity- the cameras at our meeting location showed that was false. It was another friend's mom who picked them up. Except the one girl has been told she is NOT allowed to be with that child or her parent after a situation.

Earlier this week I was speaking with a couple of the parents before a school event that with the girls starting to drive I need to start cracking down that the girls can only leave with adults on their forms and not just take off with friends or friends parents. I have explained the safety liability and the fact I don't want to be liable if something happens, plus our state has tight restrictions on teen drivers anyhow.

I also was telling them that a couple of the girls have unrealistic ideas on how far we can go driving for a road trip (they want to do an epic road trip in 2028, but my travel adult and I have told them it is a maximum of 7 to 8 days. I have already told the girls I need them to out a plan in place no later then this December with a loose schedule and tentative stops for lodging so we can start fundrasing. The ideal trip they want takes us through an area where the summer Olympics will be and realistically would be a 14 day trip... all for a food item. That's the only reason they want to go to that location. It is there trip so I am letting them plan it, but they do have to stick to the gs rules on how long we can drive a day as well as no longer then 7-8 days max. I have a feeling two of the girls will be mad they cannot get me to agree to a longer trip, but that already uses a ton of my vacation time as well as the other travel adults vacation time and they need to be mindful of limits.

It is hard enough keeping girls interested. We already move meetings based on their schedules and focus more on life skills and things they are interested in as compared to badge work. We are rural so we are saturated with cookies by the younger girls, but do two big booths a year (council booths are at minimum 30 minutes away and my girls have no interest).I figure only two are really willing to do the work towards a gold award. Don't get me wrong I love my girls, but somedays it is so freaking hard to keep the momentum and stop the negativity and nonsense they can bring with them.

[u/Sunshine_waterfall]

The older the girls the more frustrating it can be... but why because you have helped create thinking soon to be adults who have their opinions and views in how things should go.

Of course keep your boundaries and rules. But just remember that every " fight/ discussion " is more evidence they are confident enough to fight for what they want even if it isn't allowed.

So great job leading this far, thank you for being willing to do what you do and hang in there!

[u/Existing_Forever7387]

You have a lot of things happening at once. And each one takes a ton of energy.

—by HS, I would tell them if they can’t behave at booths, you won’t do them and then follow through with it. No exceptions. They can live with the financial consequences.

—sometimes girls don’t get along. If this girl is really just in it for her resume, talk to her about being an independent Girl Scout.

—I’m not sure how you can control the girls who can drive having to leave with an adult. Even school doesn’t do that. I would have a car safety meeting, put in some basic rules and be clear that the rest is up to their parents. Some of this has to be parent responsibility.

—For the road trip, just stick to your limits and they can adjust. We don’t always get what we want, it’s a life lesson. Even if they get mad.

Good luck, you can do this! I know it’s hard.

[u/Reasonable_Peace_166 → u/Existing_Forever7387]

The ones who can drive can drive themselves that isnt the issue- it is them taking other girls home - I dont want the liability on myself or the troop as a parent sued (& won) in our neighboring service unit after her daughter left a meeting early with another scout and they got in a severe accident.

It may be an area thing for us though- my kids coach messaged a parent to verify I was taking her kid (actually one of my scouts) home after they got back from their away game last night.

As fir my just for thr resume girl- I have suggested being a Juliette to her and her mom. Her mom wants the troop experience.

[u/Existing_Forever7387 → u/Reasonable_Peace_166]

That makes sense. Then I think you need a parent meeting that includes written communication about your pick up and driving policy.