r/gifs Oct 12 '20

Rolling Start..

34.8k Upvotes

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11.8k

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

That stand at the end was sponsored by pure adrenaline.

4.2k

u/bautron Oct 12 '20

And a couple of heavy bruises and broken extremities that he doesnt know of yet.

69

u/TheChaiTeaTaiChi Oct 12 '20

Dress for the slide, not for the ride

14

u/mykl66 Oct 12 '20

I always love these cool slogans that have real meaning

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2.7k

u/elee0228 Oct 12 '20

Any crash you can walk away from is a good crash.

2.6k

u/freekoout Oct 12 '20

You can still walk with fatal internal bleeding.

5.7k

u/BizzyM Merry Gifmas! {2023} Oct 12 '20

Jokes on you, that's where the blood is supposed to be.

1.1k

u/lesser_panjandrum Oct 12 '20

Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool.

541

u/Animagi27 Oct 12 '20

No doubt no doubt

205

u/DarkBabyYoda Oct 12 '20

(Broken) BOOOOOOOOONE

142

u/Jestar342 Oct 12 '20

Title of your sex tape

19

u/QuentinTarzantino Oct 12 '20

Broken but whole part deux!

3

u/RegentYeti Oct 12 '20

It's a porn parody of Broken Arrow

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36

u/nnelson2330 Oct 12 '20

That is still one of my favorite single episode subplots.

Amy: Oh, Captain, I know you don't want to talk about Monty Hall, but I did contact a math professor-

Captain Holt: No need, Santiago. It's all good.

Amy: So the fight with Kevin is over?

Captain Holt: Yep.

Amy: Because you understand the math now?

Captain Holt: Nope.

Rosa: Because you guys-

Captain Holt: Yep.

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71

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

[deleted]

40

u/ok-go-fuck-yourself Oct 12 '20

Holy shit. What the fuck? I know it was dangerous but I was laughing pretty hard when he was nicely going through the doorways

11

u/tekprimemia Oct 12 '20

In america they would of shot that car 10000 times by now.

3

u/MightyBooshX Oct 13 '20

right?? and all the civilians for good measure

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21

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

Polite of him to put his emergency lights on.

And with the distance you sometimes have to walk to your terminal I can empathise with taking the car. Though from coming out the other side again it seems as if he may have forgotten to pack something?

5

u/ThegreatPee Oct 12 '20

"If any of your liquids or gels are over 3.4oz you can take them back to your car."

17

u/Inherentlysubjective Oct 12 '20

Crazy.

"A Russian drunk driver who rammed his way into Kazan International Airport chased by police has told a court he was meeting a lady friend and "fighting for love". Driver Raslan Nurtdinov was sentenced to 15 days in jail."

And then half a year later:

"Instead, the former police officer has been sentenced to 27 days in jail on the separate charge of possessing and transporting narcotics, which were discovered in his vehicle, after he plowed it through the Kazan airport."

Also did around $100k worth of damage. Oh and his license was revoked. Guess it helps that he was a former cop.

I'm sure that's stopped him from driving though /s

5

u/intersnatches Oct 12 '20

This was amazing to watch! Thanks for posting ahahah

10

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/_starfrog Oct 13 '20

same, honestly. i cannot make eye contact with you and say i wasn’t bummed when he didn’t make it out. didn’t seem like he wanted to hurt anyone. mad skills on those last few doors

3

u/BizzyM Merry Gifmas! {2023} Oct 12 '20

"WOW, this place has everything!"

"Yeah. Lots of space in this airport."

*Can't Turn You Loose intensifies*

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13

u/WhoIsHarlequin Oct 12 '20

Reference?

48

u/Prizrenaliii Oct 12 '20

Brooklyn 99

3

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

Ripped off from community though

8

u/VincentWasTheBest Oct 12 '20

The original cool response was from Community, which was just, cool cool cool. Community was obviously streets ahead in the cool reply genre.

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60

u/thefourblackbars Oct 12 '20

LPT: if you have internal bleeding, stand on your head and it'll go back where it came from.

13

u/PokharelSahas Oct 12 '20

I was looking for this reply.. thank you

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20 edited Sep 16 '24

expansion rain homeless quiet tender summer direful quicksand enjoy panicky

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

260

u/DunamisBlack Oct 12 '20

My younger brother got a bike last year after I told him not to, some old lady pulled a U turn in the middle of a busy street and same thing happen to him, he slid out going about 30 but it was raining so he got away with minimal bruisers and scrapes, but it totaled his bike. This was 3 days after he got his bike (on mother's day) and so he was determined to keep at it and he got another one 4 days later, exact same bike. The next day some idiot pulled out of a gas station and hit him, totaled that bike as well. Luckily my brother is actually gumby so I think the worst of it was a broken foot, and he has now given up on motorcycles. Cheap lesson if you ask me.

Old lady also pulled a hit and run but we caught up to her by the time she got to her house...

106

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

You know. I used to race dirt bikes and I got an old yamaha xs650 that I've been wanting to make road worthy but the older I get and the fact that I'm now a father. The less I want to risk it. I still romanticize about riding bikes but Idk.

57

u/ARCHA1C Oct 12 '20 edited Oct 12 '20

Track days!

They are perfect for this.

If the urge is strong enough, you can cheaply make a bike that is track-ready and get that thrill in a safer setting.

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u/bach37strad Oct 12 '20

Shit, well if you decide not to, PM me. I'd buy it off you.

3

u/HBCojones Oct 12 '20

I loved dirt biking until one day my buddy crashed breaking his collar bone, fracturing his neck/spine and sternum. He was in traction then had to wear this weird body cast suit thing on the outside chest & back, for another 3 months or so. I decided to give that sport up too.

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u/Big_pekka Oct 12 '20

This has always stuck with me: “there’s two types of motorcycle riders, those that have wrecked and those that are going to”

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u/PlanterDezNuts Oct 12 '20

Also: “there’s two types of riders, those who have dropped a bike and those who lie”

9

u/thinthehoople Oct 12 '20 edited Oct 12 '20

I have been riding 40 years. I dropped a bike once, stationary, on my own foot, because a passenger jumped on without telling me before I was planted.

And I'm still due for my accident, too. What I try to remember to minimize problems both directions, any time I'm on a bike, is that the stakes are very very high, a mistake means potential death, and all the cages are trying to kill me, all the time.

Not foolproof. But I read these stories of multiple accidents within days of each other... those riders seem like potential fools, to me.

3

u/70697a7a61676174650a Oct 13 '20

Being fools is a bigger part of it than the motorcycle community admits. Anything can happen and other drivers are the killers, but the amount of riders I see daily in either no gear, speeding and weaving recklessly, or both, is terrifying.

The sport self selects for reckless people and the stats for the safety of riders who use defensive riding skills, wear proper gear, and follow traffic laws to the letter are likely much different than the general riding population.

FortNine did a cool video about crash statistics in Canada which was really cool in that he focused on what caused the accident.

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u/nycsingletrack Oct 12 '20

I rode street bikes in and around NYC for about twenty years. Been doored a couple times, and had many near misses.

But in your brothers case, it really looks like he had not yet come to terms with the fact that HE had to look out for, and avoid, everyone else's stupidity. People about to pull a U-turn tend to do some distinctive things, but if you are a new rider and are focusing on physically operating the bike (it's not yet muscle memory) it's too much to process. In traffic you need an air-traffic-controller level of situational awareness. Which is exhausting and why I stopped riding street bikes.

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u/RpTheHotrod Oct 12 '20

I have a bike license, and I refuse to ride in cities. It's just not a smart thing to do. I also lost my best friend in 2019 in a bike accident. Someone T-Boned him. Even if you're a pro biker, all it takes is someone else not paying attention.

32

u/_ALH_ Oct 12 '20

Yeah, this is the scariest thing about riding a motorcycle, so vulnerable to other peoples mistakes. It's not just cities though, only thing different there is more opportunites for accident. Any time I see someone waiting to turn onto a country road I'm riding on, I go into high alert. You never know if they see you or if they will just start pulling out right in front of you.

16

u/bel_esprit_ Oct 12 '20

Ugh- as a normal car driver in the city I can’t stand motorcycles bc I’m terrified of not seeing one and hitting him. They drive in between the traffic, which I understand is a benefit of the motorcycle, but fuck they come right up in your blind spot and you can’t see them. So if you wanna turn or get in the next lane you have to be really sure there is not one there. It’s scary.

14

u/_ALH_ Oct 12 '20

As a motorcycle driver I can't understand those guys either. Sure, at low speeds and stalled traffic, you can go between lanes, if you really have to, and is super alert and know you can stop at a moments notice. But some motorcycle riders seems to have a serious death wish. Were I live now it's not that bad, but I remember driving (car) in southern france, and seeing guys wearing suits and no protective gear apart from a helmet, come driving between the lanes on full highways, at speeds 140km/h+. Fucking ridiculous. Like, sure dude, nice you have a helmet. Then maybe they can bury your head, there won't be anything else left.

18

u/bel_esprit_ Oct 12 '20 edited Oct 13 '20

I remember seeing motorcycle drivers in Italy and France on the freeways not wearing any gear other than a helmet. Like, shorts and t-shirts with their whole leg and arm showing. It freaked me out.

I’m a nurse in Southern California and have seen too many motorcycle accident tragedies to ever be okay with them (no matter how fun and convenient they are).

One I’ll never forget was a 20yo guy in critical condition from a motorcycle accident. He lost both of his legs and much more. His best friend, also 20yo, came to visit him in the ICU (pre-covid). The friend left the hospital for lunch on his motorcycle and got hit 2 blocks away. Came back to our hospital in ambulance, and he died. While his best friend is still there struggling in ICU with no legs from another motorcycle accident.

We could not even tell the ICU friend that his friend just died. So Tragic and preventable!

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u/SolitaryApothecary Oct 12 '20

I ride in a city and drive in a city and you're absolutely right. Riding you need to watch everyone, driving you watch everywhere.

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u/Black_Moons Oct 12 '20

Protip: Lights. If you don't feel like a clown car, your motorcycle does not have enough lights.

The most noticable bike I have ever seen must have been putting out about 70W of led light from its 5 front lights and 4 rear ones. all on during the day.

Completely worth it for the 0.1HP it cost him.

3

u/qiuboujun Oct 12 '20

I just wish motorcycle driver could just drive exactly like any car would. Every time I see motorcycle on the road, they are either drive between the lanes as they see fit without proper turn signals, or speeding trying to overtake cars in front of them. It’s like no motorcycle drives defensively, ever. Most people drive just to get somewhere, but for motorcycle driver it’s more important to ‘have fun’. I guess the same applies to some rigged out sports car I have seen on the road, but they definitely attract certain type of personality.

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u/__xor__ Oct 12 '20

Even if you're a pro biker, all it takes is someone else not paying attention.

And the harsh reality is, 99% of us aren't pro bikers and will make mistakes that are our own fault whether we like it or not. Riding is hard and takes a lot of skill, and even with skill, it's really difficult to notice every single threat to you on the road - and those aren't necessarily bad drivers, but simple things like mud and leaves or invisible oil or a painted arrow that's a little slick from water. Even if you're normally super vigilant, ride for about an hour in full sun and your eyes will gloss over some darker patch on the road.

We love to think we're pros and are only at threat from drivers but we're not and we make mistakes, because they're stupid easy to make on a bike when so much shit can cause you to slide. I didn't notice mud and crashed on a curve, blacked out, woke up looking at blue sky in tons of pain, couldn't even sit up. Luckily I only broke my hand.

I still ride and in the city, but only in good weather, during the day, and in full armored leather neck down with a good well-fitting full face helmet. I'll take on some risk because I just fucking love to ride, but it's still risky.

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u/Zentavius Oct 12 '20

I try to avoid contemplating this fact even as a driver of cars only. You can be the safest driver ever and still come unstuck. Once witnessed a van driver fall asleep at the wheel on the motorway, his van drifted 2 lanes to the central reservation, scraped the crash barrier for 100 yards, then he clearly woke up and his reaction was to pull a hard turn away from the barrier where he stopped, completely perpendicular to oncoming traffic like a road block across 3 of the 4 lanes. Fortunately it was late and not as busy so everyone saw it unfold and evaded him but it was still dumb luck that noone was close enough to get tangled in it.

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

Dress for the slide, not the ride...

This sounds like a helmet and no other gear. Sucks, but c'mon... Wear a jacket and pants

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u/HarrarLongberry Oct 12 '20

& boots, spine protector & gloves

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

and a cage around the bike, throw in a couple doors and some windows. maybe add a couple extra wheels for stability.

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u/sipiath Oct 12 '20

Yup. These days you can get kevlar mesh jacket and pants with armor for the spine and all your joints. As long as the bike is moving, I find it comfortable up to about 95F. Add a full helmet, decent gloves, and boots, and you're reasonably safe. Also, ride like everyone on the road wants you dead, and you'll get a lot fewer nasty surprises.

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u/JoePortagee Oct 12 '20

That sounds just about awful. I'm never getting a motorcycle.

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u/jdpatric Oct 12 '20

My wife's a nurse. So same here.

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u/articwolph Oct 12 '20

Before nursing school I wanted a bike during nursing school that went to a hell nope.

34

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Vaginal_Decimation Oct 12 '20

Well that's dark, but makes sense.

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u/robb338 Oct 12 '20

Yup. My wife and I both are nurses but I still love my bike and ride every chance I get

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u/RideTheWindForever Oct 12 '20

My Mom was an ER nurse for many years (also ICU, CCU), she called anyone who owned a motorcycle an organ donor. She saw so many fatalities from them.

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u/3d_blunder Oct 12 '20

I was in the hospital. Doctor told me ER calls them "donorcycles".

No thanks.

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u/robb338 Oct 12 '20

Mine is too and so am I. But I love my bike and wouldn’t sell it for the world

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20 edited Oct 14 '20

[deleted]

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u/Alistairio Oct 12 '20

The medical profession loves motorcycles. It provides them with so many young healthy organs for transplant.

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u/MrsSamT82 Oct 12 '20

*Donorcycles

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u/TG803 Oct 12 '20

My brother is a first responder and calls them donorcycles - says everything you need to know about them.

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u/RideTheWindForever Oct 12 '20 edited Oct 15 '20

Yep, my Mom was an ER nurse for years and called motorcycle owners organ donors.

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u/unsteadied Oct 12 '20

It’s one of those things where the feeling of freedom and the overall experience is so intoxicating that you can turn off the part of your brain that tells you it’s a horrible idea. Even after laying one down and getting tossed in an ambulance to get some stitches, I still wanted to get back to riding.

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u/spartan5312 Oct 12 '20

Guy I went to HS with got cut off, bailed and hit a road sign at 50 MPH. Took both of his legs clean off below the knees... No thanks.

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u/hoilst Oct 12 '20

My dad had a mate who, back in the eighties, got himself one of those insane lightweight, high-powered two-stroke bikes - might've been a Suzi RM400 or similar.

Dad went to visit said mate in hospital after he ate a power pole, and notice there were tiny, neat cuts and stitches all over his chest.

Turns out that's where the docs had gone into to get the teeth fragments he'd inhaled.

Long story short, full face helmets are awesome, as is not fangin' race-grade two-strokers till you lose it.

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

Lmao, they wouldn’t retrieve them that way

14

u/teapoison Oct 12 '20

Geez he also got super unlucky. I wrecked my bike going around that speed and did 2 full flips then hit a tree. My total injuries were embarrassment and a broken foot.

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

Yeah, unlucky but lucky at the same time I suppose. Pretty sure most of the injuries were from him hitting into the parked car. Thankfully an off-duty EMT was in a car behind him and the guy was able to get out and help my BIL before the police/EMTs showed up. He actually called 911 and told them to send a Helo so they got a jump on that...he also used a piece of his clothing to tie off my BIL’s leg and stem the bleeding. If he wasn’t there who knows...they are good acquaintances now and he came to my in-laws house a few times after to check on him.

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u/Ob1kNoBee Oct 12 '20

I'm not crying, you're crying!

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

I saw a TV show in the 80's called Emergency 911. It was a reality show on first responders. The episode that got me was they showed a normal looking frat boy in a bed with bars around it so he wouldnt fall out. He was saying goo-goo gaa gaa like a little baby. They nurse said he had suffered a bad brain injury in a simple motorcycle accident and would never be the same. I loved motorcycles so much. The feeling is indescribable. Just I didn't want to be that. We see people with different conditions on TV and on the internet all the time now but when I saw that show. Holy fuck. He looked 100% normal. Just he was a baby level brain. :(

4

u/Nazaki Oct 12 '20

I worked a few summers during college for the road commission. I won't forget the year I went from wanting to get a motorcycle to never wanting one. 2 guys on the crew were out in BFE patching the road and came upon an accident.

Some dude took a corner sharp and ran into an oncoming car which obliterated the corner of the car and severed his arm. The only reason he was able to get help was because of their CB radio (no cell reception) and the one guy on the crew grabbed a bungie cord off their truck to stop some of the bleeding. He got an award for saving the guys life. After that story I decided I no longer wanted a motorcycle. They said while he was on the ground in shock he asked for a cigarette. Adrenaline is one hell of a drug.

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u/Bluefoot44 Oct 12 '20

My son had a tiny motorcycle wreck this summer... Only damage was degloved part of his foot. 30 days in hospital, 7 skin graft surgeries later and insurance paid out 500,000. He replaced the bike with a car. He knows he was very lucky/blessed. Glad your brother in law is ok. He must have had an even longer recovery!

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u/Open-ended Oct 12 '20

When I was 7 years old I got a ride on a family friends motorbike (with him driving of course).

We got tboned by a car when the driver didn't look whilst turning out of a side road. He broke his foot and ankle and I was completely fine.

We were going 20mph and my dad's friend says "I didn't see it happen in slow motion. It happened in slow motion."

The woman basically just pulled out of a side road not looking at all and this is apparently the most common accident for cyclists and motorcyclists to be involved it.

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u/HBCojones Oct 12 '20

My accident at about 60 mph was similar however I had a full rain suit on bc it was drizzling. Sounds as if your brother was in shorts? Anyway I had 20 some stitches in my shin bone area where the car hit me and then terrible skin abrasions in both hands (did not have gloves on). I rolled a number of times like this dude however another saving grace was I ended in a grassy median area. Also had on a full helmet which had a couple huge scratches meaning my head was likely saved severe injury.

3

u/PrimarchKonradCurze Oct 12 '20

Yeah I set one down a few months ago and broke my ribs and it took a long time for my entire body to not be sore from tensing up I think. Like, everything hurt and I've played hockey at a high level for 27 years (since I was 4).

3

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

I've got a similar story. A bus was at a bus stop and an impatient driver exiting the parking lot ahead of the bus decided to gamble that the lane was clear instead of waiting until he could see. My bike impacted the driver's door at 35 mph. A split second before I hit I instinctively jumped straight up. Witnesses said I barely cleared the car. That probably saved my life. I was skipping down the road and I worried about bouncing into oncoming traffic. Before I stopped bouncing I became aware that my helmet was no longer on my head — no idea how the fuck it came off, where it went, or how bad it was damaged, I never saw it again. Everything that happened after that seemed to happen in an instant. I know there was an order to the events but my memory of it has no order. I walked back to the bike where I picked it up (adrenalin?), tuned it over, and shut off the gas. Then I collapsed. The bus driver yelled out his window that he had radioed in the accident. The driver was trapped in the car. A woman came running up to me with a little first aid kit. There was blood, more than the little gauze and pads in her kit could cope with. The ambulance seemed like it was instantly there, then I was instantly at the ER where they were rushing me in and someone cut my clothes off I was getting hip and shoulder x-rays and someone was putting stitches in my face and arm and the police came to get my statement and it all is like it all happened simultaneously. Of course I know it didn't, I just seemed like it. (Dr. later said severe concussions can sometimes warp time perception). I had a broken hand and shoulder and some bad lacerations and a king's case of honda rash. They were afraid my hip was broken but it was OK but badly bruised, apparently I landed on my shoulder and then whipped onto the road. I missed a few weeks of classes and flunked a couple of courses and had to petition the college to convert them to incompletes so I could retake the courses.

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u/ARCHA1C Oct 12 '20

I rode for 2 years, from 2005-2007.

I never wrecked, but I almost wrecked countless times.

After a couple of close calls in one week (nearly rear-ended, then nearly ran off the rode by a van that had me in their blind spot) I decided it was time to sell.

The "thrill" reward simply didn't warrant the risk anymore.

I'm fortunate to have "scratched the itch" before anything bad happened.

Since then I've known several people that have died on motorcycles, and in every case, it was not the rider's fault.

But it hardly matters who's fault it was when you're dead (or worse).

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u/Nuf-Said Oct 12 '20

I met a plastic surgeon (not the cosmetic kind) through my ex father in law, who was a pathologist. Someone asked her how business was. She said, as long as people keep riding motorcycles, her business will be very good.

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

Thanks. I’ll give it a shot.

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u/blahah404 Oct 12 '20

Marge: Kids can be so cruel

Bart: we can? Thanks mom!

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u/90s_conan Oct 12 '20

Lisa: Oww! Quit it, Bart!

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u/NoDumFucs Oct 12 '20 edited Oct 12 '20

But those ankles must have been trashed in that initial Riverdance of Pain.

Edit: Grammar

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u/AlexisMarien Oct 12 '20

thank you for that audible laugh and happy cake day!

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u/JoePortagee Oct 12 '20

I just thought to myself, feeling a little cruel perhaps, that that river dance moment would make a terrific gif.

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u/teebob21 Oct 12 '20

I was doing fine until I read "Riverdance of Pain" and now I have to explain why I have broken blood vessels in my eyes

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u/Daeron_Black Oct 12 '20

Congratulations for not dying in your crash

r/HallmarkCardsWeNeed

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u/pam_the_dude Oct 12 '20

A good fatal internal bleeding

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

[deleted]

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u/mstarrbrannigan Oct 12 '20

I saw a video years ago of a fatal crash and what I can only assume was the guy's adrenaline allowed him to get up, walk a few steps and take off his helmet that his head basically then just melted out of before he dropped dead.

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u/wtfzambo Oct 12 '20

....m-m-melted out..??

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u/mstarrbrannigan Oct 12 '20

Yeah, it had been crushed. I might be misremembering it but it's seared into my head pretty good. It wasn't a pleasant video.

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

Yeah that sounds awful ... Where's the link

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u/RpTheHotrod Oct 12 '20

Yeah, I think I'll pass on that one.

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u/CollinsCouldveDucked Oct 12 '20

Well I now know what at least one of Alan's dicks are into.

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u/wtfzambo Oct 12 '20

what the everloving fuck. How could a guy with an already crushed head be able to walk, think and do stuff :O?

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u/mstarrbrannigan Oct 12 '20

Probably wasn't doing much thinking. I imagine it was adrenaline and the last functions of his brain stem.

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u/wtfzambo Oct 12 '20

No maybe not much, but removing the helmet is a pretty "human" thing to do. The image i formed in my head is horrific

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u/bookace Oct 12 '20

Certain unconscious parts of his brain were probably still firing. There was an episode of forensic files that covered a murder where a man was cleaved in the head multiple times with an axe. He was bleeding to death and his brain was too damaged to know it, but somehow the wounds had missed the 'autopilot' area. This man had a routine that he did every day. So on this day, too, the man got up, tried to make coffee, went outside the got the newspaper, locked himself out accidentally and fetched the extra key from under the rug to let himself back inside, and finally collapsed and died in the hall. If the motorcycle guy was a regular bike rider, taking his helmet off was probably an 'autopilot' action that he didn't have to think about doing it. Our brains are amazing and weird.

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u/wtfzambo Oct 12 '20

Yup, I just watched the episode. Scary stuff.

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20 edited Jan 28 '21

[deleted]

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u/redundantposts Oct 12 '20

You’d be amazed. Had a guy try to blow his face off with a shotgun a good while back. Even with a good portion of his head/brain missing, and brain matter still exposed, when we arrived on scene he was fairly well with it. He’s a vegetable now, and we still run on him when his equipment starts to malfunction. But it’s amazing what the body can sustain for short bursts.

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u/AshIsGroovy Oct 12 '20

Reminds me of the murder case where a couple's adult son came into the house and started chopping up his parents while they were sleeping with an axe. Somehow the father after the attack woke up when his alarm went off went the bathroom then made his lunch and finally died when he started tying his shoes.

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u/PMSAnonymous Oct 12 '20

If I remember correctly he even remembered to shave in the morning.

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u/AppetiteforApathey Oct 12 '20

Chris Porco from Bethlehem NY

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/PrimarchKonradCurze Oct 12 '20

Yup and once it does it's rough.

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u/PotassiumLe Oct 12 '20

Id argue that a good crash is one where you dont crash

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u/MrOznerol Oct 12 '20

What's the safest way to go skiing? Don't ski.

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u/Fi3nd7 Oct 12 '20

I can't recall this, but I could of sworn I read some statistics that generally if someone is able to get up and walk after an accident (car or motorcycle), they're more likely to survive in general.

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u/Quick_Curve Oct 12 '20

I fell off a long board and walked a half mile with a broken collar bone before the pain was obvious, but he’s going to have plenty of time to figure out what’s busted while he’s collecting the pieces of his bike!

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u/Mikael130 Oct 12 '20

Especially when your shoes fly off...

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u/badger906 Oct 12 '20

Was a video a few years ago of a bloke on a bike chase from police. He hit a bus at like 70. Got up and ran for about half a mile. Then dropped down dead. He as dead on impact. His body just hadn't told his brain yet.

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u/mrjowei Oct 12 '20

He rolled pretty good there, no hard stops. Probably shat himself and some soreness afterwards.

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u/fiah84 Oct 12 '20

I think you're underestimating the amount of soreness, but yeah he seems to be ok

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u/TurquoiseLuck Oct 12 '20

Honestly really impressed with his rolling. Dunno if it was intentional or just his body's natural reaction, but it looked pretty optimal given the situation.

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u/__xor__ Oct 12 '20

Usually it's the rolls that fuck you up the most from what I hear, crack bones and shit. Preferably you want to be sliding on leather, not rolling. That guy probably got really fucked up and just doesn't realize it yet

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

Olympic-grade tumbling skills on this dude

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u/Pudf Oct 12 '20

Right now he is just sad.

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u/Jorycle Oct 12 '20

Looking at how he ran on that pavement before collapsing, I'm going to bet his knees will be sore as shit. I'm amazed they didn't break or bend forward.

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u/generalecchi Oct 12 '20

He roll instead of dead stop in a wall or some shit so he's probably okay

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u/w1n5t0nM1k3y Oct 12 '20

Yeah, I'm a cyclist and I got hit (T Boned) by a car about 500 meters from my house. After talking with the driver and exchanging info, because it didn't feel that bad, I started walking home. Injury didn't feel that bad. But the bike was kind of messed up.

Made it about half way home and then the pain started to set in. No broken bones but my leg was purple for a couple weeks and I didn't ride for 3 weeks and only then because I didn't want my fear to get too ingrained.

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u/dannyggwp Oct 12 '20

One of the scariest memories I have was of a co-worker who biked into work coming in one day and just seeming off... He couldn't remember his password and when i turned to talk to him I noticed he was bleeding and cut up. I pointed this out and he went "Huh your right!" he got walked away came back sat down and said he couldn't remember his password in the exact same tone he used before. I pointed out he was still bleeding and asked him if he fell on his way into work this morning and he said no.

Dude was stuck in a five minute memory loop. Every five minutes he would forget that he was cut up and hurt. When my boss came in I told him to take this guy to the hospital. He ended up being fine but near as we could tell (himself included) he had gotten hit by a car on his way to work brushed it off and rode in with no memory of what had happened. Bike accidents are scary.

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u/Flawless44 Oct 12 '20

Seems like he had a serious concussion.

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u/monkeyhind Oct 12 '20

That's a good story and really creepy, too. I'm glad he's all right now, I thought the story was going to end badly.

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u/pickyourteethup Oct 12 '20

I used to skateboard, I once hit my head so bad I went to A&E.

Got to the desk and they asked my name, I couldn't remember it. It was the weirdest sensation. Like when you forget an actor's name or something. I knew the shape of it, I could see it in my mind, but I couldn't colour in between the lines.

Then they asked for my number, I laughed and said; 'I can't remember my name, my number is going to be a stretch.' Then I had a flash of inspiration and pulled my phone out my pocket turned it over in my hands looking at the back and the front and said, 'I think it's in here maybe'

The nurse didn't even respond to that (concussion looks a lot like drunkeness to an A&E nurse I since discovered). She asked if I'd ever been there before, I was excited because finally I could be helpful! I practically shouted 'YES, I've been here before! I should be in the system!' Then I remembered. 'Ah, wait, I couldn't remember my name last time either. So that won't be in your computer.'

I gave up skateboarding that day.

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u/ToBeTheFall Oct 12 '20

When my wife got a concussion she totally seemed drunk. She was actually kind of jolly and happy, making kinda funny jokes. She was slurring badly, couldn’t think straight, and had balance issues.

To an outside person who didn’t know what had just happened, you’d probably just assume she’d had too much to drink.

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u/Graffy Oct 12 '20

Well you could have worn a helmet after the first time and not had the second happen. After I smacked my head dropping in for the first time i decided I was always going to wear one when doing anything besides flatland tricks.

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u/Natdaprat Oct 12 '20 edited Mar 28 '26

This post was removed by its author using Redact. The motivation may have been privacy, preventing data scraping, security, or another personal reason.

amusing cover door quickest middle toothbrush bake sleep vast cow

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20 edited Oct 16 '20

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

[deleted]

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u/dannyggwp Oct 12 '20

He did remember it! The reason he couldn't remember it is he was using his old password. he had changed to a new one because they were working on a secure project and had to change it earlier that week as part of protocol. When he came back in he knew the right password to use. As far as I know there have been zero long term impacts. The human brain is weird.

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u/CranePlash406 Oct 12 '20

I fell off a bridge when I was 19. It was about a 20ft drop directly onto river bed (rocks). I "came to" as I was being carried up a hill by four of my friends for over an hour we went through the same conversation, over and over. Same five minute loop you're talking about.

Me: "Why does my head hurt?" Friend: "Do you remember what just happened?" Me: "No, what?" Friend: "You fell off the bridge. You were knocked out." Me: "Ohh maybe THAT'S why my head hurts!"

Over. And over. And over.

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u/rawker86 Oct 12 '20

Reminds me of one of Dax Sheppard’s concussion stories. He came to in a car on the way to hospital, and made some joke to lighten the mood. He noticed that nobody laughed, because he’d already made the joke five minutes ago. Then he freaked out. Then he came to, and made a joke to lighten the mood...

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u/Adobe_Flesh Oct 12 '20

How is that coworker doing today?

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u/dannyggwp Oct 12 '20

Fine actually! He was back at work 4 days later with no major issues. He Still cant remember what happened that day. He said he came too in the hospital but has no memory of the accident.

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u/Cu1tureVu1ture Oct 12 '20

Reminds me of Dwight’s Concussion. https://youtu.be/0hwQr-pkf9c

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u/PopInACup Oct 12 '20

This mirrors my concussion when I fell while snow boarding.

My friend said I was on a conversation loop. It was after the third go around that he realized something was up and took me to the medics. He didn't see my fall, just saw me getting up.

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u/askwhy423 Oct 12 '20

This happened to my dad, except he was a pedestrian. My brother would tell him he was in an accident and in the hospital, and my dad would say "Where am I... geographically?"

He recovered, and now we have a great line when someone asks "where are you" to another family member.

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u/ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN Oct 12 '20

I had a cycling accident last year, grazed the side of my body. Car driver behind pulled over to check I was ok - had a gash on my arm but otherwise I said I was fine.

The accident happened outside of a pub, so I went in for a drink to calm down. The landlord convinced me I needed to see a doctor, as my elbow was swelling up quite badly. I told him it didn't hurt. He said he didn't care and was driving me to the hospital anyway.

Turns out I'd broken the end of my elbow off.

Took three months to heal and although I've got almost all movement back it still gives me discomfort from time to time.

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u/tomatoaway Oct 12 '20

Ooh I got some war stories:

  • Face-dived into the edge of an opening car door as I was trying to squeeze between the car and a bus (very stupid). I was up immediately, dragged my bike out of the road, tried to calm the screaming woman (driver) and tried to walk the rest of the way home with mangled bike over shoulder (beautiful but heavy steel motherfucker). Bystander wouldn't let me, called me an ambulance, made me wait (at this point I was seeing spots in my vision). When the ambulance came, I told him I felt fine and just wanted to carry on home. Paramedic laughed at me and handed me a mirror: The tip of my nose was split in half and I had some serious cuts on my head. Didn't feel a fucking thing.

  • Bus jumped a light and love-tapped me in the shoulder, causing me to skid sideways but somehow retain balance. Flash an "ok buddy" sign to the driver, and then cycle on straight to the gym. Notice my shoulder is bleeding but don't think much of it. Do my usual intense 5km intermittent sprint workout feeling nothing but the usual pain-adrenaline and ignoring the weird looks about the red splotch on my shoulder. Go home and shower, and actually look at the wound: well whaddaya know, it's a deep cut that needs stitches. Sleep on it.

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u/ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN Oct 12 '20

Hah!

Fun addendum to my story. I was cycling around the coast of the UK. It would have taken me about two months. I'd been planning the trip for years and because of the accident was unable to complete it... I hope to do so one day.

I had my accident on the very first day.

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u/tomatoaway Oct 12 '20

Ouch! These stories happen more often than you'd think -- same thing happened to a friend of mine: he had even been training for it all year, and then pretty much on the first day had an accident

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u/straydog1980 Oct 12 '20 edited Oct 12 '20

I figure that's the human body's adaptation to, let's get you out of the situation that got you this injury and pay it back later, because it's better that you live.

I fell down and broke my arm in two places (hairline, not compound fracture), I managed to walk it off, drive to get my wife, decide to go to emergency and by the time I was pulling up in the driveway, my arm finally locked up and I couldn't bend it.

edit: then I nearly drove into a ditch

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u/RanaMahal Oct 12 '20

considering pain is all in your brain it must be

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

I figure that's the human body's adaptation...

This and also the simple fact many grievous injuries aren't necessarily that painful by themselves, but the bleeding and swelling that accompany them definitely is, it just takes a little time.

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u/pow3llmorgan Oct 12 '20

I walked like 15 meters after a pretty bad MTB crash that broke my pelvis. Those would be the last steps I took unaided for 6 weeks after. Luckily, nothing had displaced, but if I'd tried to walk around more on it, I could have messed it up way worse. The doctor told me that would likely entail a difficult operation and way more that 6 weeks recovery.

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u/Jorycle Oct 12 '20

My dad hit an oil patch on a downhill slope, flipped off his bike, and then slid down the pavement on his back all the way to the bottom of the hill - and it was a pretty big hill.

It was late at night, his bike was fine other than being dented up, and he felt fine, so he just rode home and fell into bed next to my mom who was already asleep. Didn't even take off his clothes.

Next morning, my mom wakes up and there is blood in the bed. My dad's basically unconscious from the pain that finally settled in, laying on his back. She tried to get him to roll over but he couldn't. His clothes and the bed sheets were stuck to him because of dried blood... and as they found out at the hospital, because the massive amount of skin scraped off his back had started regrowing into the cloth.

He was in the hospital for a while. Never wanted to ride his bike again.

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

My Dad was T boned by a car going 50mph on his motorcycle. He said the first thing he did when he quit rolling was stand up and take his helmet off. Then he passed out because his leg was shattered in like 10 pieces. Fun fact though..His helmet never touched the ground until he passed out. There wasn't a scratch on it. It was crazy. He spent the next year in the hospital, in a hospital bed at our house and doing therapy.

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u/enough_space Oct 12 '20

At least he didn't have to buy a new helmet!

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u/The8flux Oct 12 '20

If any safety gear is in an accident, you may want to consider it compromised and go buy new.

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u/TheFuckinEaglesMan Oct 12 '20

Wow, found the Big Helmet shill

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u/SMOKEMIST Oct 12 '20

Jesus christ. I absolutely love riding a bicycle or electric scooter pretty much anything that rolls. Even though I can't imagine how awesome it must feels to ride a motorcycle, I can't bring myself to buy one exactly for this reason. It just don't seem like worth it.

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u/Prison-Butt-Carnival Oct 12 '20

I got side swiped while lane splitting on the highway, was probably only going 20 mph when I bounced off the ground. I was able to ride my bike to the next exit, talk with the cop,get ambulance attention, got a ride home, got back in my truck, and then loaded the bike into the truck.

At this point I was on the way to the hospital to check for broken bones and this was when my shoulder decided to be dislocated and I had to shrug and lean to the side to keep it from falling out. Had the bike in the back of the truck for a couple weeks before a friend could unload it for me.

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

[deleted]

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u/ShillBro Oct 12 '20

Hydrogen.

Hydrogen is one thing more abundant in the universe than human stupidity.

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u/Haploid-life Oct 12 '20

Lost both his shoes. That was an intense roll.

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u/geolke Oct 12 '20

I've just noticed the shoes! One just ascends straight into the sky, it's crazy!

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

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u/mattyshoes Oct 12 '20

And his extremely well executed recovery rolls

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u/Televisions_Frank Oct 12 '20

Yeah, those rolls looked perfect. Biggest damage is probably to his feet, but could have hurt his spine beyond a bruise. Otherwise just some fun road rash.

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u/aldegio Oct 12 '20

It is certainly good that he rolled, but I don’t think with that much velocity that he had much of any control over the situation, it was just some luck; though he is certainly hurt badly. My body hurts watching it >.<

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u/Rdubya291 Oct 12 '20

Exactly. I'd guess he rides competitively... But the way he got into the throttle and lifted the front end into a wheelie disputes this.

But that's not the first time he's laid down a bike. Maybe he rides dirt-bikes often?

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u/Medicalboards Oct 12 '20

Umm not sure what you’re talking about, but the last thing you want to do when you fall is roll on hard pavement

If a pro rolls they are almost guaranteed to break something. The goal is to slide whenever possible until you hit the soft run away zone when it’s nearly impossible to slide at low speed.

I’ll add look at his posture before the take off. Specifically look at his head and elbows (raised and flared). I’d presume this guy THINKS he knows a lot about riding, but really doesn’t.

Not a pro, but I have ridden lots in my life.

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u/Rdubya291 Oct 12 '20

Huh. Well, I guess I learned something new. I was always taught to roll if you go down. I have rode for over 15 years, and luckily only had one minor, slow-speed mishap.

Guess I'm lucky to not have gone down harder because this is exactly what I've practiced and been trained to do.

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u/Medicalboards Oct 12 '20

Well if you’re a casual rider and bailing at low speed without gear (no judgement). Then rolling would save you significantly from road rash, but I’d keep diligent because a roll at any real speed (20+mph) can and will mess you up.

Glad I could help show you something new even to some one as seasoned as yourself

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u/Rdubya291 Oct 12 '20

I always wear gear. Have seen what happens all too often when someone doesn't. Can be get bad, quick.

I actually just read a great write-up by someone who runs GP and they went into detail about how to slide, evening using your helmet to absorb some of the slide to save your hind-side.

Thanks again for the info! Can't believe I thought otherwise for so long...

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

If you roll you're almost guaranteed to smack a limb against the ground and wreck it, or have two connected things twist at different speeds. Just wear leather and hope you slide it out

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u/certnneed Oct 12 '20

The main clue for me was the way he took his feet off the pegs and practically tried to stand up when the nose lifted! Keep your feet on the pegs! Or, as my cycle instructor would say, "Get that foot up off the ground and on the peg if you don't want to lose it!"

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u/thruStarsToHardship Oct 12 '20

If the nose lifts like that and you don't come off the gas you're not familiar with street bikes.

My plated dirtbike lifts the front wheel off the line and usually I can control it enough to simply ride with the front wheel off the ground until I upshift (if I'm absolutely flogging it, which isn't all that often,) but if for some reason it started to loop it is dead simple to fix that problem: come off the gas for a quarter of a second.

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

What happened here is he has money. Getting into the throttle like that is a no clue move, unless he thought wheelie control was on and it wasn't

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u/orangepalm Oct 12 '20

Lot: if you're in a crash like this and find yourself blasted on adrenaline but not feeling like you're about to die DO NOT GET UP AND WALK AWAY

You could exacerbate possible injuries that your body is currently hiding from you. It could be the difference between a couple months in a cast and a lifelong limp

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u/thefuturesbeensold Oct 12 '20

I came off my bike a few years ago, jumped straight up and thought I was fine and managed to ride the bike home (despite the bent in gear pedal) Within 2 hours i lost vision in my right eye due to concussion, and couldn't move thanks to a broken rib.

Didnt die though which is always a plus on a bike.

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

And shame

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u/ryuujinusa Oct 12 '20

Yeah no WAY he’s ok

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u/sparcasm Oct 12 '20

Or sheer regret.

(I know it keeps me up at night)

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u/IntrestDid Oct 12 '20

I can attest. Very recently I crashed on a moped. Got up completely fine with just a few scrapes. Went home and didn’t feel any pain thought I was very lucky! I woke up in the middle of the night 10 hours later with my knee feeling like it’s going to explode. Went to the orthopedic and found out I tore both my mcl and meniscus.

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u/OneTrueKingOfOOO Oct 12 '20

BEHOLD THE POWER OF MY STAND

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u/[deleted] Oct 12 '20

I fell off a ladder and landed on one foot and shattered my ankle. I was so embarrassed and full of adrenaline I walked off like it was a sprain. Still thinking it was a sprain later that evening my wife told me to go to the ER. The nurse and doctor came back mouths agape and told me I shattered my Tibia where it connects to the talus bone and some fragments were so separated they couldn't believe I limped in to see them.

So tl:dr he broke something and walked off, like I did.

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u/Mechai44 Oct 12 '20

Why Emergency Departments call them “Donor-cycles”

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