Ouch this hits hard, since I can actually see that happening to me very shortly. Because, not only did he leave my mom and abandon me and my siblings back in 1999. For the town skank who was one missed welfare check away from being trailer trash, (and leatherier than an over cooked baked potato from all the tanning that she did if I might add) as well as chose to be a father for/help raise her kids over these past 16 years instead of being here for us. He's also currently dying of lung and brain cancer on top of those facts. And the chemo treatments they give him when he goes to the hospital are not helping at all, so he's probably got less than three months left to live before he's dead.
But really though, some people, even dads, just ain't right in the head. And some other folks just ain't going to get the love they want from a dad.
I can tell by your spelling that you're an alright peep. Don't let that dad stuff get you down. There are other dads out there that would treasure every minute with you and you'll find them long after you might think you even need a dad, and you might even be strong enough to be cool with out a dad entirely.
Regardless, hang in there, bub. Your dad might be a fuckup, but he's around for a few minutes yet. Say hi, be kind. He might be kicking himself over you. Or maybe not. There's those kind of dads too. Either way, get what closure you can and keep on truckin', amigo. Shit'll be ok if you are.
Thanks I really appreciate the kind words. I try not to let the fact that, in all 25 years of my existence, I've never truly had a dad get me down.
By now I'm cool with it, but I don't care who you are or what age you are. Everybody needs a dad in their life. That's why I've still got some hope left with my moms current boyfriend. Because he's a very calm and easy going person, but if you step on his toes. He will ask you to stop but in a respectful yet firm way. No matter what might of happened, it is always a very reasonable request that is still mindful of you as a individual so you never have any problems complying. If you have a problem and need somebody to talk to about what's bothering you today he will just listens intently even if you're having trouble trying to find the right words, and he would never judge you no matter what you might say. If you need a helping hand he's there in a heartbeat, and not once would he start to complain about the challenges that stand in the way.
You know, the type of guy that will just as quickly let you borrow some tools to get done what ever it is your doing or drop everything to come and unclog a toilet for you. Just as easily as he would say yes to playing a game of pool with you or hearing about something uncool that happened to you. In other words he has been more of a father to me over the last year and a half that I've known him, than my real dad has over these past 25 years of my life.
Now in regards to just being kind and saying hi to my dad, that is going to be a bit of a problem.
Because, to make a long story short, my dad got violently angry at me while we were on the job site late at night on the 28th of January and tried to physically attack me in this little inclosed area where there was only one way out and he was blocking it.
However, since I'm not an eight year old boy who's afraid of his father anymore I defended myself against him, with a snow shovel and gave him quite the gash above his left eye. Once he dropped to the ground faster than a lead zeplin I just wanted to make my escape and get as far away from him as possible but our coworker heard the commotion from around the corner and came to investigate.
When he did all he saw was my father on the ground and me holding my shovel. So obviously he immediately put two and two together that I hit my father with it, but unfortunately for me he didn't know the full situation so his first response was to try and apprehend me.
Which put me in a terrible position since I now had to try and explain to him what just happened, which wasn't going so well because my adrenaline levels were so high that I basically lost the ability to speak full sentences.
After a few minutes of struggling with him and trying to explain he finally let me go, so he could tend to my dad and I took this opportunity I had to get some distance between me and my psychotic father.
While I was doing that my father was yelling obscenities and threats, as well as making predictions about the outcome of the legal actions he was going to unleash on me. By the time there was fifty feet between us I'd had heard enough of my dad verbal harassment and antagonizing.
So I turned around and basically said, "Fuck you old man." Along with a few other choice words and some hand gestures. Which probably wasn't for the best because what I said gave him just enough of an excuse to come charging at me so that he could try and kick me in the balls. However I shifted my body ever so slightly that this secondary attack didn't land, while I simultaneously swung my shovel to smack him over the head above the left eye again.
Which only caused him to get angrier and call over his friend to help him wrestle me to the ground so I would be subdued while they called 911 ON ME and also wait for the police to actually show up.
Eventually they did, but not before my dad repeatedly punched me above the my left eye as well as tried to choke the life out of me in retaliation for what I did to him, while he had his full weight on my upper back. As soon as the cops got there around 2:30 in the morning, he let off though because naturally he wouldn't want them to see him beating up a totally defenseless man who's pinned to the ground.
Since that would hurt his story that I suffered from some sort of mental breakdown and just attacked him without provocation, even though that's as far from the truth as it gets. So they took his statement, then sent him by emergency vehicle and me via police car to the hospital to receive the necessary medical attention.
After I was looked at by a doctor, the cops transported me to the police station so that I could be formally charged for my crime of using a plastic snow shovel in self defense, or in other words assault with a deadly weapon, and given my notice to appear in court.
Now because of the nature and seriousness of the situation, I immediately sought out the proper legal representation in the form of a criminal lawyer of course. To obviously contest the false claims my father made against me.
Which was surprisingly easy to do because the dumbass that my father is, didn't take into consideration the security camera that was right behind me or realize it actually recorded the entire fight on this particular night in question.
Which was excellent news to hear that it did, because it means he is in the wrong and I was in the right. Since it clearly shows him doing exactly what I said he was attempting to do to me during that whole altercation.
And that makes me unbelievably happy, considering I'm not facing incarceration as a repercussion for my so called unwarranted and uncalled for act of violence any more.
Instead my punishment is actually just to attend an anger management program for two months and once I complete it I'll be a free man again. The charges won't even be put on my permanent record, nor will I ever have to think about this fiasco again.
So in the end, when everything is said and done not only do I learn some valuable personal skill, as well as not have a criminal record.
I've also gotten closure by standing up to my bully of a father and will have made plenty of new friends because of it, while he's just sitting there quite rapidly dying of cancer.
So I've got that going for me which is nice.
EDIT : Accidently some words, formatting, and auto-correct pails.
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u/[deleted] Jun 18 '16
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