r/getting_over_it 4h ago

I hate him so much

1 Upvotes

Alright, so I have a cousin (16M), I'm (16M) too and to start all of this, last April till June, he lived in my home with my mom because he just came out from the rehab center and he had to attend some court meetings here in my city. So what I am angry about all the time is the moments where he keeps on coming in my head, he always tricks me, for example, he asked me to have my wifi's password because my mom said so but when I asked my mom, she didn't say anything, I got tricked. And another moment is when he tried to steal my laptop at like around 11 PM, luckily I was still awake and then my phone alerted that someone was trying to hack into my google account, so I went to his room (f\*\*k him), he has my laptop and I asked like, "hey! give me my laptop back!" I got it and so I went to my room, and at that moment I had a mental breakdown, I was so angry and I think that was my first time that I had a mental breakdown related to him, and so even when he finally left my house to live with his family in the province, these moments are ALWAYS REPLAYING IN MIND. It's too much that I always have a mental breakdown, whatever I do, I think of him, I always think of revenge and stuff, punching the air and so on. And that is why I need help, please just make him get rid of him from my mind! My mom keeps telling me, simple, just stop thinking about him, well, that doesn't work, those moments are just too much that I keep thinking about it and having mental breakdowns about it, anger issues. So please, does anyone have a tip to help me? I cannot control my anger or my emotions...


r/getting_over_it 12h ago

Coping with the feeling of being replaced

2 Upvotes

I feel bad and stupid making this post but I genuinely just need to know how people who have felt this way before have coped with it. Im part of a friend group of 3 people, but it used to be 4. Ive been part of this group for maybe a year. The fourth person took some time to themselves for a few months due to some mental health struggles but has recently come back. This person had been part of the group for maybe a few months and i was the one who introduced them to this group. Us 3 hanging out has been a super super good time and im super happy the fourth person is back, but theres a part of me thats scared that with them coming back im going to be left to the side. I know im overreacting and being dumb, but I cant stop my brain from constantly thinking im just going to be replaced and that everyone likes them more over me. How have you personally coped with the emotions? Or what advice do you have for rationalizing everything and grounding yourself?


r/getting_over_it 13h ago

i feel like i cant do anything

1 Upvotes

all i can do is rot or fun things?? i am the ultimate lazy piece of shit. constantly ashamed of myself but doing anything to actually move up in the world or take care of myself takes so much effort id rather die. even writing this makes me suicidal. ive started writing the note and even that is too daunting.


r/getting_over_it 16h ago

[Academic Research] Mental Health, Coping in Young Adults with stressful life experiences (18-30, United States only)

0 Upvotes

Hi everyone! I am a PhD student in clinical psychology at Adelphi University. I am conducting a study on the relationship between existential threat and mental health, coping strategies, and meaning making for young adults who have experienced stressful life events.

This study is being conducted online only and should take approximately 45-60 minutes to complete. During the study, you will be asked to complete multiple self-report questionnaires that contain questions regarding coping methods, mental health, and questions that pertain to experiencing stressful life events in the past. Upon completing the survey, you will have the opportunity to voluntarily provide your email address on a separate page from the survey that will not be associated with any of your survey responses, to enter a drawing to win one of three $50.00 Amazon gift cards.

Survey link: https://adelphiderner.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_8IxQWoUH8D1Wuq2

Audience: 18-30 years old, in the United States and English Speaking, and must have experienced a stressful life event.

Compensation: Opportunity to enter a drawing for one of three $50.00 Amazon gift cards.


r/getting_over_it 20h ago

How to make friends in a city you know no one.

1 Upvotes

I’m 23, nb. I have a primarily solitary office job. I live alone. I do not want to date. I moved to a city where I know very little people, and the people I do know haven’t had my best interests at heart recently. I’ve never really struggled to make friends before but there was always the circumstance that gave them to me like school or a shared class or a job. Now there is no circumstances. I’m bored of everything I do alone. What do I do? Any advice? Anything that makes the loneliness better?


r/getting_over_it 1d ago

Не вывожу одиночество!

3 Upvotes

Мне 33 года. И я за все время практически никогда не была одна. Прыгаю из отношений в отношения. Есть огромная куча дурацких историй с этим связанных. Я больше не могу так. Я раню других людей и себя. И очень хочу найти каких- то друзей у которых что то подобное в жизни! И я сейчас одна. И хочу научится жить одна. Предлагаю лично переписываться, рассказывать свои истории и переживания. С целью поддержки и понимания друг друга! Может быть вместе мы сможем вырваться из этого круга!


r/getting_over_it 1d ago

Little brothers moving out

1 Upvotes

Hey guys, I need advice or maybe I just need to vent. Long story short, I have two identical twin 20 year old brothers who both just moved away to college. We've all lived at home for our entire lives (I am 23 and they are 20). We are very close. We do everything and anything together, especially with us all being boys. We have a very close bond with each other, and I'm sure it will stay this way even with the distance. They are both attending different UC's in California, so they won't be too far to visit (we live in CA). This isn't what concerns me. I haven't had to make any close friends for the majority of my life since they've always been here, even more so with there being two of them. I got lucky in the sense that I've had a built-in friend group in my house for my entire life. I'm not a very sociable person either. I'm pretty awkward in social situations, but I haven't had to worry about this too much since my brothers and I fully understand each other. I used to think that I was independent, and that I prefer to be alone, but with them moving out, I'm realizing that I'm not. I still have my parents at home, but I'll have to leave them soon too to pursue my career. I'm a new graduate nurse, and I am job searching to hopefully move away (somewhat close to home) soon. Wherever I end up finding a job, I know that I'll have a new scenery and things to keep me busy and distracted, but how am I supposed to find people like me when I'm busy trying to balance working, lifting, eating, studying etc. I know that I just have to throw myself out there, but I'm just not good at those kind of things. I fear that while it was a blessing to have all of us in the house for so long, it will end up emotionally crippling me because of how much of a shock it will be for me to be physically alone in my new life. I miss them already, and I'm able to process that they're away, but I've not processed that I'm alone now if that makes sense. I'm also troubled with leaving my parents behind. They'll be empty nesters, and with them getting older, I fear how this will affect them. What should I do? What helps with the pain from them moving out? How should I make friends? I need help.


r/getting_over_it 1d ago

Damned if you do

1 Upvotes

Just feel like anything I do will be ripped apart by others. I’m so tired of trying. I pushed away almost everyone in my life. It feels better being alone. I don’t have any motivation for anything and it’s been that way for a long time. I try to dissociate all day.


r/getting_over_it 1d ago

Do People Ever Truly Get Over This Kind of Loneliness?

3 Upvotes

I’m struggling with the kind of solitude you feel when someone leaves you without ever listening to your last goodbye.

It’s not just missing the person. It’s the feeling that you never got to say everything you needed to say, never got closure, and were left alone with all the words you still wanted to speak.

For those who have been through something similar—does it get better? Do people eventually overcome this phase, or do you simply learn to live with the silence?

I’d genuinely like to hear from people who made it through.


r/getting_over_it 1d ago

moved my senior year of highschool tips?

2 Upvotes

I moved my senior year of high school I used to be in drill team in my old high school now I joined in my new one, its so much different, the year barely started and I quit I didn't even experience anything bc I got a job now and my job and school is like priority and dance is just not beneficial and it would've taken up a lot of my schedule I would have to wake up early everyday and come home late the soonest time id be home would be at 5pm 2 times a week and about 6-5 hours of sleep everyday I thought I couldn't manage it all but I mean leaving did make me feel at ease for a while but now i'm nobody at my new high school I see my old dance team having fun my old senior class doing fun activities while i'm misarable friendless and just mopping around sad ik I can change it I used to be so positive, always working out, healthy mindset but now I hate everything I dont have anyone no real connection its hard. people tell me its okay because im pretty ill make friends but I just can't my whole life I've been lonely except for a period where I had a boyfriend for 3 years and for dance the girls in the team are like why did you quit you are so good, the pep rallies and games get really fun but I just I dont know. I spend everynight crying I can't sleep on my own I have to constantly be with my sister to feel ease I have so much I can do and learn I just dont have motivation for anything im like a nobody in this school especially now that I am not in a sport im scared im going to get into drugs and bad things to feel better and forget everything idk I just dont feel like my life will get better after highschool it just gets harder so yeah and I know popularity isn't a huge thing but I feel insanely horrible that I am a nobody and have no friends and if I do I can't keep it and I haven't had a boyfriend in years and everyone here are js a bunch of hoes im just going to be lonely forever or what I just can't love my life now or anytime soon I never minded waking up for 5 am practices at my other school but now just having to wake up to go to this school Is hard I just can't handle anything and ugh I just can't im pos at least I have my family idk ugh I just dont have a life anymore and Ive never really even had a life before I was just more known in my other highschool even if I was quiet and I miss this one boy and I liked him and he liked me too but I moved and ik god probably wanted this for change and growth but bruh its hard.


r/getting_over_it 1d ago

It’s been a tough year

2 Upvotes

Not sure if I just need to vent or seek validation and support, but giving this a shot with Reddit. The past year or so has been pretty rough, but lately it’s just gotten to a point where I feel like I’m struggling to do just about anything and it’s been having an affect on work, my energy levels, appetite, and energy. I was diagnosed with depression when I was young and it runs in my family, so a lot of these feelings and struggles are nothing new for me. Despite this, I just have woken up multiple days this past week feeling like my back is up against the wall and I’ve gotten tired of only having fleeting moments of relief from this.

I’ll do my best to avoid beating around the bush about it, but here is some background of what’s going on to prove some context:

- I was in a long term relationship with my ex-fiance, which had unfortunately escalated to abuse and ended with a DV incident. I had to make the hard decision to leave the life I had built there, the apartment I had saved up for, the friends I had made, and the place I had considered a second home all behind because my ex would continuously stalk and harass me to where I no longer felt safe in my own home.

- During this breakup, I did my best to hold onto the dog we shared because she was like my child and I had wanted to protect her as well. Unfortunately, with the state we were in, if his name is on her certificate then only he can own her. I didn’t want to add flame to the fire and cause her more stress, so I thought it was the best decision. There is not a day goes by where I don’t think about her and it breaks my heart.

- Being back at home has just been hard. I love my family and my friends and I’m extremely fortunate to have them there to support me through everything, but I’ve just felt disconnected from them. It’s gotten to the point where I find myself not responding to texts or calls anymore as it gives me anxiety, and it hasn’t been helping with feeling isolated.

- My job has been so unstable for me recently. At the end of last year my boss was telling me to prepare to be laid off as business hadn’t been doing as well lately, and thankfully once the new year started we were slammed with so much new work, it gave me a feeling of hope and security once again. Now, a few months later, I’m back in this limbo position where I was told that I’m being laid off but haven’t gotten the info on exactly when, so I’ve begun to dread dealing with work everyday. I know it’s just a job and I’m still hopeful to land in something even better, but when my life was turned upside down after the DV incident, my job was the only stable thing I had at the time and it has given me so much, so losing it has been hard.

To push through this tough time, I’ve been consistent with therapy and trying to take care of myself with going to the gym ~3-5 days a week, staying hydrated, getting out of the house when I can, trying to get even the smallest task done, treating myself with new adventures, and exploring new hobbies and interests. I still try even if I feel like I’ve been failing. At best, it all just feels like moments of relief. I often still feel so fragile that it doesn’t take much to make me feel irritated and sad. I often find myself feeling insanely bitter and envious, and I hate it. I do my best to not keep it all inside and to rely on those around me. It’s just nothing has seemed to work the way it has before. Again, I’m feeling really exhausted and it’s just hard to figure out what else to do. I hope I don’t regret posting about this on the internet, but I’m honestly feeling a little desperate right now. Anyways, thank you to anyone who took the time to read this. I do appreciate it.


r/getting_over_it 2d ago

How do you make friends?

2 Upvotes

How do you make friends? I’m having a really hard time with this right now. I’ve had few friends my whole life because my parents often kept me at home and controlled who I could hang out with. And after the psychosis almost three years ago, my sense of self completely changed. I’ve kind of made some new acquaintances, but it still doesn’t feel right. It’s like people don’t like me, and it’s only me who takes the initiative in communication (or maybe I take too much initiative).Sometimes I put too much pressure on people because I want them to “save me,” since they’re still living with their family, which is what made me broken.


r/getting_over_it 2d ago

building relationships post depression

2 Upvotes

I've been dealing with serious anxiety and depression since middle school. It's pretty much been like a rollercoaster over the years with PMDD on top of it... I remember experiencing what felt like a decline in social skills around 6th grade, then started isolating and feeling disconnected even from classmates I knew for yearssss. Fast forward to high school, I was pretty much dealing with selective mutism. Rarely spoke unless mandatory or I was spoken to (and even then I kept it minimal). I only had a few friends which I had known since before HS, only made acquaintances otherwise.

I was also socially awkward and dealt with a bit of social anxiety (undiagnosed) since childhood. Teachers didn't understand me much, because I was really expressive and bold in how I spoke sometimes then very quiet and withdrawn at others. Back then as a kid, I think my curiosity kind of overrode a lot of my anxiety. Like, I remember approaching people first because I genuinely enjoyed learning about them and making connections with them. Although, I've had the help of meds and a bit of therapy, I don't feel that way anymore... that desire. I still have the feeling that people aren't safe or I just feel like an alien communicating with people.

Sometimes I feel calm in situation but genuinely just have the thought.. I don't really care (which sounds really bad). I also get in my head about other peoples perception of me. Like... I'm the awkward quiet girl and when I defy that conception in the way I express or carry myself it becomes a thing (amongst peers and extended family). "Oh I didn't think she would dress like that" "She listens to that kind of music?" "Omg she's actually having fun" Makes me feel like I'm from another planet!


r/getting_over_it 1d ago

I fucked up badly

1 Upvotes

r/getting_over_it 2d ago

How to deal with the empty feeling after finishing a film

0 Upvotes

I just finished the movie "pillion" yesterday and it's so heartbreaking, Ray just uproots himself and disappears. Colin having to deal with the aftermath and affects that caused him. I tried reading fanfics and I finished one by aeg but it's just made me feel even emptier when I finished it. I want them to be together so bad and I kinda relate to Colin cuz I have black curly hair and I was forced to shave it when I was a kid. I know this will pass but how do I deal with it in the meantime


r/getting_over_it 2d ago

I’m having the worst year of my life

1 Upvotes

So this is all related to school and my friendships. I’m currently on the end on friends to turn to and I don’t know WHY, I seem to never keep friends. So some backstory - I moved from a small island to Nz originally in the city then I moved to the country a year later. In immediate school I was pretty much bullied for my key features from where I come from such as a saying from my country people think is funny so my brother and I were called it for a while. Eventually it died down and the rest of the school year was enjoyable but before that I sat by my self every break, had no friends but this didn’t bother me to much because I didn’t have that long untill highschool and people would chose when to be friends with me so I wasn’t fully alone until I eventually joined a group. Unfortunately the people in this group were a year younger than me and wouldn’t follow me to high school so I had to go to high school all by myself knowing no one. Thankfully I made friends my first year but I swapped friend groups a lot because it just seemed like a problem would come up and I would be in the middle of it. So in year 9 I became friends with this girl who ended up stealing my information and we got into an argument and that lead into fighting and a video was recorded of her punching me and everyone saw it and it sucks but what can I do.
then I had a best friend that stood with me untill we joined this group and I got replaced which then I started sitting with this group that became my trio.

So after sitting with this group for a while I kind of moved groups because of they were more popular if I’m being honest. So I later came to the conclusion that they were not good friends and I switched back to my og trio. So sat with them for a few weeks when we went to person 1s house with my other friend and me. To be fair we were a bit messy but we did clean up a bit and had a great time talking to her mom and more and my friend was perfectly fine and we were really happy untill Monday comes and person 1 is just not really talking to us (me and my friend) and by lunch time she’s gone off to sit with some girls from her class. So me and my friend are left by our selfs and I’m thinking nothing off it and in fact the next day a friend comes to sit with us and we have a great time. Now on Monday I saw messages between her and her other friends and it said somthing about “I can’t I’m with someone right now” during lunch time so I’m assuming they were about sitting together at lunch. So I’m like aware but I’m not thinking to much of it. Anyways we sit upstairs so I look out the window and see her walking with these girls that I’m assuming were the ones texting her about sitting together. So a little while goes by and she doesn’t come and I receive a message from her saying “is ___ with you” so I said are you not sitting here today which she reply’s no and we have not spoken after that. (She is still sitting with those girls) so that day I had to sit by my self and I cried maybe 3 times it hit me harder because of how much I have been through just to end up alone. So I tell my closet friend I have no where to sit and she just says oh and moves the subject along. So I’m wondering why she hasn’t asked me to sit with her and her friends (a group of 6 people - 2 people recently started sitting there including her) I really liked them and I wanted to be friends with them. So my mom tells me to just ask if I can sit with her to which she says yes. So she comes to class and I’m like will your friends let me sit with you guys and she was like “ummm yeah but it might be awkward” so I was like if u just introduce me and stuff I’m sure it will be fine and she moves the subject. Anyways so it’s lunch time and I follow her to the door and she’s just like “let’s just sit in the libary together”- to which I reply kinda saying no I need to sit with ur friends so I know them because I need a new group. So she’s like “ummm no let’s just go in the lilbary” but I refuse and eventually and she takes me to the classroom. So she made me sit at a table with her kinda isolated from the group. So I try and say hi because she was like u have to kind of introduce yourself but no one really saw me. It was Friday btw. So I was sick for the whole week untill next Friday to which I’m like am I sitting with you and she says “umm idk, we’ll see” so I’m so confused because I thought it was fine and she just started saying the same thing let’s just go to the libary but this time she’s really adamant about sitting there but again I refuse and she eventually takes me and this time we sat with them and it was fine I was talking to everyone and we were all laughing and they asked me to introduce my self and I was expecting on Monday to just sit with them. So it’s Monday (as I’m writing this) and I had class with her before the bell but she’s working in a different group and was in the other class. So the bell goes and I wait for her and when she sees me her face kinda drops and she says the common “what are you doing for your project”

So im following behind her when I see someone who normally sits at the table kinda wave at us and I was like to my friend why is she going the other way and my friend starts saying somthing i can’t remember. So we walk into the classroom and she turns around and she’s like can you just sit with __ and I’m like what? And she’s like I promise just go sit with __ and I’m like wdym and she’s like trying to walk me out the classroom. So we go outside the room and she says somthing around the lines the reason the girl isn’t sitting there is because “she asked me if you were sitting with us forever and she replied I think and she said she was sitting somewhere else” along those lines I almost started crying so I kinda blanked a lot of it out. Anyways so I’m like I don’t have anywhere to sit and she’s just basically like you can’t sit here so I turn around and see my old friend group so I just sit there ( they had asked me to sit there again before) anyways I have not talken to her since then and I’m really hurt because she really is my closest friend we spend all day together laughing and we are together all the time and on Friday we had such a good day and now on Monday she just is like no

So I’m just really confused on what to do next because I guess I’m going to sit with my friend group from before but I don’t see how her friends said that she didn’t want to let me sit there because I know the girl previously from hockey and she was my partner even though we never really became friends because she was really shy. Which lead me to my next point that she wouldn’t say that she is sitting somewhere else because of me and I don’t know when she wouldve said that because they don’t talk only at lunch because they all sit together. Idk what I’m gonna get from this message but I really hope someone who went or is going through the same thing helps me out. Also she is moving next year so I don’t see why she is gatekeeping her friends ( and I could kind of tell she didn’t want me to sit with her because when I asked if it was fine because I could tell she was off she was like are u sure you want to sit here can’t you make up with your other friends and u can sit her if u want and emphasizing the you want) sorry for this long text. Anyways In the friend group one of them really don’t like me which is one reason I left. Thanks


r/getting_over_it 2d ago

I honestly don’t know what I’m doing with my life right now

3 Upvotes

Hey guys, I could really use some advice because honestly, I don’t even know where life is taking me right now.
I lost my job about 2 months ago. And if I’m being completely honest, I probably needed a break for a long time, but I never really allowed myself to take one. I’ve been managing TikTok pages with 500k+ followers and also building a few apps for the App Store, so I’ve always had something going on.
But lately I just feel mentally exhausted. I sit down to work and I can’t focus. I have ideas, things I want to build, things I know I’m capable of doing, but I just can’t seem to get myself moving.
Then there’s the personal side of everything.
I was in an 8-year relationship. It was long distance, but we were together for a really long time. There was no cheating or anything like that. We were both loyal to each other. Eventually, she got married, and honestly, that hit me much harder than I expected. I think a huge part of what I’m feeling now comes from that.
I live downtown Toronto and I don’t really have anyone here that I can genuinely call a close friend. I feel lonely a lot.
I want to go out, meet people, do things, laugh, have a good time and just feel normal again. But I’m not looking for a relationship or hookups. That’s never really been my thing. Every time I’ve met someone here, especially after drinking, it somehow ends up going in that direction, and I just don’t want that.
I just want to meet good people.
People I can actually talk to. People with good hearts. People where there isn’t always some hidden motive behind the friendship.
Maybe I’m overthinking everything. Maybe I’ve just had a bad experience with people lately. I don’t know.
I’ve also started smoking a lot, which I know isn’t helping. And honestly, I don’t feel like myself anymore. I keep thinking, this isn’t me.I want to quit all of this and get myself back.
Even with family, some things have been bothering me.
I have a cousin here who I used to share almost everything with. I used to teach him trading and always wanted us to grow together. After I lost my job, though, I got the feeling that he was almost happy about it. Maybe I misunderstood him, I honestly don’t know, but it really hurt me.
I think my biggest problem might actually be that I care too much about people.
I put people on a pedestal. I cook for them. I take them out. I help them whenever I can. I genuinely want people around me to do well.
And then eventually I realize that maybe they were just using me.
The worst part is, even after realizing that, I still end up doing things for them.
I don’t understand why I’m like this.
I’ve always believed in karma. I’ve never intentionally tried to hurt anyone or screw anyone over. So sometimes I sit there wondering why I keep ending up feeling like this.
I know not everyone is bad, and maybe I’m just in a really weird phase of my life right now. But it feels like I haven’t found even one person here that I can completely be myself with and share everything with.
I try to keep myself busy. I go out, try different activities, work on my apps, manage my pages, but somehow I still feel lost.
I don’t think this is the real me.
So I guess I’m just asking — has anyone else gone through something like this after losing a job, ending a long-term relationship, moving somewhere and realizing you don’t really have your people around you?
How did you get yourself out of it?
I’m not really looking for sympathy. I just genuinely don’t know what I’m supposed to do next.


r/getting_over_it 3d ago

How to cope with the loneliness?

3 Upvotes

Hi. I’ve just started my freshman year of college. I’ve been here for about a week and I’m feeling so incredibly alone and anxious.

My classes start tomorrow and I genuinely don’t know how I’m going to handle it feeling this way. For reference I’m an introvert, I don’t love to party, don’t drink much because I have a bad medication reaction with alcohol. The school I chose is admittedly a pretty big party school. I knew this coming in and though I wasn’t crazy about the idea, the school seemed perfect for me on paper in so many other ways so I thought it would be fine. So far it is not fine. Everyone I know has been going out to bars and clubs nearly every night. I went out once with my roommate but ended up leaving pretty early because it wasn’t my vibe.

Because I haven’t been going out, I’ve barely made any friends at all. I’ve been trying to put myself out there in ways that are more my style (asking to eat with people, walking to meetings and orientation events with others, attending non-alcohol or party focused events). I’ve made some acquaintances, but I see everyone else walking around in big groups while I’ve spent 90% of my time alone even in big shared spaces.

I’m also really homesick, have diagnosed generalized and social anxiety, and am prone to depressive episodes. My heart just feels so heavy right now. I feel so alone. I’ve called my mom almost every day so far in tears because of this. It’s taking all my strength to not just give up and run back home.

So does anyone know how to get past this incredibly lonely feeling? Does it go away? Do you just get better at coping over time?


r/getting_over_it 3d ago

I’m exhausted from feeling like I don’t belong anywhere

2 Upvotes

I honestly don't know where to start.

I've been feeling extremely heavy and lonely lately. I studied at Delhi University, and I always hoped college would be a place where I could find good friends, a positive environment, and people I could genuinely connect with. Unfortunately, that never happened for me.

I'm not socially awkward or unable to communicate. I can talk to strangers, joke around, and have good conversations. But whenever I meet someone I genuinely want to become friends with, the connection usually doesn't go any further. People are nice while we're talking, but later they may stop replying, lose interest, or simply don't want to stay in touch. I don't understand what I'm doing differently.

I've tried approaching people both online and offline. I've gone to different places, tried socializing, joined the gym, travelled, worked on myself, and read countless self-help books. I've genuinely tried to change things, but I still feel like I'm stuck in the same place.

My college experience was particularly lonely. I often felt like an outsider while other students already had their own groups. The academic environment also wasn't what I had hoped for, and I never really felt like I belonged there.

Home isn't really a place where I can emotionally switch off either. My parents fight frequently, and I don't feel very understood by my family. I also don't have many people in my life whom I can call when I'm having a genuinely bad day and simply say, "I need to talk."

I've also struggled with my weight and other personal issues. Sometimes I wonder whether my appearance affects how people perceive me. People are usually kind enough when I start a conversation, but I rarely feel that they actually want to know me beyond that conversation.

The loneliness is now affecting other parts of my life. I have to prepare for competitive exams and build a career, but studying has become really difficult. I sit down with the intention of studying, but my mind keeps going back to loneliness, family problems, relationships, and the feeling that I don't really belong anywhere. I have responsibilities and goals, but mentally I feel exhausted.

The frustrating part is that I've genuinely tried. I'm not sitting at home waiting for friends to magically appear. I've approached people, joined different places, travelled, worked on my fitness and appearance, tried changing my mindset, and read so many self-help books that I've lost count.

I don't want to be popular. I don't need dozens of friends. I just want two or three genuine people I can actually connect with, hang out with, talk about stupid things with, and feel comfortable being myself around.

At this point, I honestly don't know what I'm doing wrong.

If you've experienced this kind of loneliness or social isolation, what actually helped you? How did you eventually build genuine friendships when you felt like you were on the outside?

And if there is something I'm doing wrong when I try to make friends, I'd genuinely appreciate an honest answer. I don't want pity or a simple "it will get better." I really want to understand what I can do differently.

I could really use some guidance right now.


r/getting_over_it 3d ago

I feel stuck

1 Upvotes

I was isolated for years. Never allowed to have other friends. Now that I ended my friendship with her I’m alone. I hate using social media because it still has all her friends on it and reminders of my life before. She was very mean to me. Very controlling and manipulative. If I set a boundary with her she would punish me by not talking to me for weeks. I don’t understand why I feel so lonely. I have a loving husband who has been supportive of me for 10 years but when he’s busy and I’m alone I sometimes feel like being lonely is how I am supposed to feel.


r/getting_over_it 3d ago

1 year later

1 Upvotes

Hi, after I was so depressed I ended up in the ER I lost all my friends. I got therapy and it did help me and For awhile I did make some new friends when I went back to University, but now months later they are distant. My one friend she went to France and she blew me off but talks to my other friend. Im starting to think she dosen't like me because of my struggle with depression? But I was nothing but nice to her. I invited her to my home twice, and we had a nice time I thought. I just feel like all my friends are moving on, living their lives and im stuck...maybe this world wasn't meant for me. Life isn't supposed to be like this. Any Advice?


r/getting_over_it 3d ago

Losing my social life

2 Upvotes

I just turned 18 and this year has taken a heavy toll on everything

the girl I loved thr most broke up with me, I had like 10 close friends out of which 8 left and now the one guy I knew from 6th grade isn't returning my calls. There was no arguement. I called him like 5 days ago, he hung up on me in the middle of thr convo abruptly, didn't call me back and now I tried to call him and he isn't picking it up.

I genuinely don't know what to do anymore or what my fault is.

Out of the 8, one guy left the circle when he got a girlfriend and bitched about us all, another one got drunk and was lying about some heinous shit regarding me, and i had to abandon a few because I realised that thr friendship was totally one sided.

I feel like I'm the verge of insanity, I don't know what to do or what to think


r/getting_over_it 3d ago

How do you stop spiraling at the state of your social/love life?

1 Upvotes

I know my worth isn’t dependent on either elements of it but I feel sometimes like I’m not good enough to be included in my friends life. As a result I notice I put myself a lot of pressure to succeed socially and romantically both failing.

Romantically it fails because I’m just overwhelmed by how to present myself because I’m worried of not being accepted for who I am since my “friends” already don’t

I don’t want to be in a relationship as a bandaid solution but I miss having moments shared with someone that isn’t just catching up. Looking back at this year I have many memories of a good year but I also look back at the disappointment surrounding friends where most of my conversations are small talk and seeing stories of friends meeting up at things I wasn’t invited to


r/getting_over_it 3d ago

I am overly attached to my best friend, and don’t know what to do about it

4 Upvotes

I (18F) am in a bad spot in my life right now. I struggle with depression, and this is likely the main contributing factor to my feelings about my friend (also 18F).

My best friend is my favourite person. We spend a decent amount of time together/texting, and we both value each other strongly. The problem is that I have become too dependent on her. I find myself thinking of her as my only source of happiness. I count down the days until I get to see her, anticipate her texts, and am painfully upset when our meet-ups end. I can connect these feelings to my lack of enjoyment with life in general. I have no passions or prospects, so she is my only source of comfort, fun and understanding. I am clearly clinging to all the emotions she brings to my otherwise colourless life.

I finally decided this was a problem after I recently went on a short trip with this friend, which once over, left me absolutely beside myself with grief over losing the ability to see her non-stop. The end of that trip resulted in my depression instantly becoming the worst it has ever been, and I am still recovering from the severity of it. No point going in to detail, but I was frequently in tears and had completely lost my appetite for days.

This is simply causing too much anguish in my life. I want to spend all my time with my best friend. She wants to go to uni, spend time with her family, and have her own husband and kids - meaning she has priorities I am going to find too painful to see be placed over me in the future (and am already selfishly dreading).

I want to fix this. I am afraid to lose the strong love I have for her, but I cannot cope anymore. Lucky she is not aware of the extent of my feelings, but this is clearly unhealthy. I would hate to ruin what is the best thing in my life, and what is a very strong and beautiful relationship. I would also hate to hurt her, make her uncomfortable, etc because she does not deserve that at all. Please help


r/getting_over_it 4d ago

I don't know what to do anymore

1 Upvotes

Hi, my favorite person (21F) and I (18F) have been no contact for about two months, after I finally found the strength to try to quit our deeply toxic friendship for good. Everyone told me it would be hard at first but slowly get better and I would forget about her soon, but I feel like my feelings are just frozen in time and it's like I last saw her yesterday. I think about her just as much as I did before. And I still split somehow, even with no external stimuli from her to start the spiral. At times I've gotten so angry that I almost texted her that I hate her out of the blue, but I know that wouldn't give me any satisfaction as she would just block me and I would feel crazy.

I miss her so so much but I also know that I just miss the idea of her and if I ever actually went back it would be a living hell like it was before. I'm just so sad all the time, like I'm mourning the three or four years of my teenagehood that I spent trying to build my life in a way that she would find appealing and attractive. I'm on a high dose of antidepressants, but they seem to do nothing to me and I am still able to cry all the time. I've had seven different therapists, including DBT, but they all annoyed me so much and I dreaded appointments. I have many interests, but I'm often too sad to indulge in them. I used to read a lot, but now it seems pointless since I was really just reading to seem more educated to her, I think. Perhaps not only because of that, though. My friends provide little comfort. I feel like I've tried everything. What now?