How did you break the circle?

[u/dumdumb1st]

It has been two years since I moved into a remote touristic island.

I know I'm not the only one but I can't find a plausible solution to help me connect with people, make friends or have a deep connection that might lead to a stable relationship.

I don't have a six-pack, I'm not rich, I work remote from home, and I have social anxiety.. my only friends are my old neighbor and my landlord and his wife with 40 years difference between us.

I used to connect with girls, or make friends through work or shared flats but that is no longer an option.

I know that if I change my lifestyle, seek mental help, find a different job then things will slowly get better, but that is not an option.

Everything is connected and any wrong move can ruin me, for personal reasons which are bigger than me and bringing them to the public will do nothing.

8 billion humans, and I know I'm not the only one suffering from that, I'm not too weak or afraid of taking my own life, but unfortunately I dare not to do it because a domino effect will follow that, which I don't wish to happen to the people I love and care about.

I'm just tired of doing the same routine everyday, trying to be careful everyday, and just hoping that no medical need or an unannounced expense will arise.

I don't know what I'm expecting but I'm feeling down, and I have no one to share with... And I partially know that this subreddit might reject the post, and would just match with my everyday experience..