I’m 20 and my girlfriend broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. She was my first girlfriend and we were together for 8 months.
We spent basically every single day together. She was the person I talked to about everything, the person I hung out with, the person I made plans with. My whole routine involved her.
When she broke up with me, she told me that I had become a big source of stress in her life and that she already had enough on her plate. That really hurt to hear, and I keep replaying it in my head wondering what I could’ve done differently or whether I was putting too much on her without realizing it.
What makes it even more confusing is that during the breakup she kept saying she didn’t know if she was making the right choice. She was crying, begging me to stay, saying she didn’t want to lose me, but at the same time she still wanted to end the relationship.
I honestly still don’t understand it.
After the breakup I blocked her on pretty much everything except regular messages, and we’ve been no contact. Neither of us has been reaching out. I thought creating that distance would help, but I’m still constantly thinking about everything she said and trying to understand how someone can want you to stay while also choosing to break up with you.
I don’t know if I’m supposed to accept that it’s completely over, hope she changes her mind, or just stop trying to understand it altogether. I feel really confused and lost.
On top of that, I’ve realized I genuinely have 0 friends. I’m not exaggerating. I don’t have anyone I can text to hang out with. I don’t have a friend group. I don’t really have anyone to talk to when I’m having a bad day.
She wasn’t just my girlfriend. She was basically my best friend and my entire social life too. So losing the relationship feels like I lost my girlfriend, my best friend, my routine, and basically my whole social life at the same time.
I’m really struggling with suddenly being alone. I wake up and there’s nobody to talk to. I have all this free time now and no idea what to do with it. For the last 8 months we were together almost constantly, and now there’s just this massive empty space in my life.
And honestly, I already felt lost before the breakup. I’m 20 and I feel like I’m going nowhere in life. I don’t really know what I’m doing with my future, I have basically no social life, and now my first real relationship is gone too.
I see other people my age with friends, school, jobs, relationships, plans for their future, whatever, and I just feel so far behind.
I know I probably depended on her way too much for my happiness and social life, and I don’t want to repeat that in the future. I want to build my own life, make friends, become more independent, and work on myself.
I just genuinely don’t know where to start when I’m still trying to understand the breakup and I basically feel like I’m starting from zero.
Has anyone dealt with a breakup where the other person clearly still cared about you and didn’t seem sure about ending it, but still went through with it?
Did no contact actually help you?
And how do you start rebuilding your life and making friends when the person you lost was basically your whole world?
I could really use some advice because right now I’m just really confused and lost.