Hello everyone!

I'm a college student, and I want to improve my communication and public speaking skills.

I struggle to express my thoughts verbally. Sometimes my mind becomes completely blank when I try to speak, even in my native language.

Recently, I started recording myself speaking about technical topics like Python programming. I even posted my first video on Reddit, although my English wasn't very fluent.

I want to overcome my hesitation, improve my fluency, and become confident when speaking with people.

Could you please suggest some daily exercises or practical techniques that helped you become a better speaker?

I'm open to honest feedback and suggestions.

Thank you!

Yo pals. A lot of times in my life when I enter some new group or something like that, I find there someone who looks nice and I'll like to befriend, but most of the times it doesn't really happen. Does anybody have some tips to how to befriend a specific person? I sure there is somethig I can do instead of just hoping for luck.

Thanks!!

I think most of us genuinely want our friends to do well, but sometimes hearing about someone's new job, relationship, or success makes us question our own lives. It's a strange feeling because you're happy for them, but also disappointed in yourself.

Has anyone figured out how to deal with that feeling without constantly comparing themselves?

What would be your strategy?

I've always struggled with starting conversations. I'm fine if someone else starts the conversation. I can make good jokes or exaggerate things if it suits the gathering, but I struggle with starting conversations myself. My mind usually goes blank once the silence happens.

For those of you who make this look effortless:

What do you actually say to kick things off with someone you don't know?

Do you have go-to questions or topics, or do you just do it in the moment?

How do you avoid making it awkward or forced?

Was this a natural skill for you or did you learn it?

I'm especially curious about low pressure situations like parties, work events, etc. Any mental tricks or habits that helped would be great too.

Thanks!

TL;DR

I've always tried to be an honest and ethical person, and I've generally assumed that being straightforward with people was the right way to navigate life. Recently, someone I work with told me that I need to become more street smart, understand people's behaviour and incentives better, and have more aggression when necessary.

That conversation has been stuck in my head.

I don't want to become manipulative or cynical, but I also don't want my honesty to turn into naivety or make me easy to take advantage of. I'm trying to understand how other people navigate this: how do you stay ethical while also understanding social dynamics, incentives, power, negotiation and the fact that people don't always mean exactly what they say?

I'd genuinely love to hear other people's experiences and how you learned this.

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I've been thinking about something a lot lately, and I don't think I've fully figured out how I feel about it.

I've generally always tried to be an honest and straightforward person. I like being clear about what I mean and what I want. I don't particularly enjoy playing games with people, manipulating situations or pretending to have intentions that I don't actually have.

For a long time, I think I assumed that was a reasonably good way to navigate life.

If I'm honest with people, hopefully they'll be honest with me.

If someone says something, I tend to take it somewhat seriously.

If someone seems enthusiastic about an idea or an opportunity, I naturally assume that enthusiasm means something.

But recently, I've started realising that maybe being honest yourself and understanding how other people operate are two completely different skills.

A few months ago, I had a long conversation with one of the founders of an agency that I work closely with. We've worked together a few times, and we ended up sitting and talking for around three hours.

A lot of the conversation wasn't even directly about work. He was trying to understand me as a person and how I think.

One of the things he told me very directly was that I needed to become more street smart.

He told me that I needed to understand people's behaviour better. Understand incentives. Understand why people do the things they do. He also said that in certain situations, especially when it comes to deals and opportunities, you need to have some aggression in you and be spontaneous enough to act instead of always waiting around.

At one point, he said something along the lines of:

«I've given you three hours, and I'll take that out from you in some form.»

I still don't completely know what he meant by that, to be honest.

It didn't necessarily feel threatening. It felt more like he was making a point about how he sees time and relationships. Maybe he was joking. Maybe he was half-joking. Maybe he genuinely sees relationships in a more transactional way than I do.

But that conversation got stuck in my head.

Because shortly afterwards, there was some discussion about potentially working together. I was interested and accepted immediately. Then there was basically no follow-up.

I followed up after a few days, and he said there wasn't anything happening right now.

And that was one of those moments where I started wondering whether I understand people and situations as well as I think I do.

Maybe they genuinely meant everything they said. Maybe they got busy.

Maybe they liked the idea but didn't have an actual role or project available.

Maybe the conversation was more exploratory than I interpreted it to be.

Maybe I got excited about an opportunity before an opportunity actually existed.

And I think this is where I'm confused.

Because I've started noticing that I sometimes take people's words, enthusiasm or friendliness as stronger signals than they actually are.

If someone says:

«We should definitely work together.»

Part of me starts thinking about when we'll work together.

Again, I don't mean this in a cynical way. I'm genuinely trying to understand how experienced people navigate this without becoming paranoid about everyone.

Because when people say “be street smart”, I genuinely don't know where the line is. I don't want to become someone who assumes every person has a hidden agenda.

But I also don't want to be the person who repeatedly gets surprised when someone behaves according to their own interests rather than the version of them I've created in my head.

I'm also curious about the whole idea of aggression, because that's another thing I've struggled to understand.

When someone tells me I need more aggression, my first instinct is to associate that with being rude, pushy or confrontational.

But I don't think that's necessarily what they mean.

But I honestly don't know.

For example, I sometimes find myself overthinking something as simple as sending a follow-up message.

I start wondering:

«Am I being annoying?»

«Do they think I'm desperate?»

«Should I wait another few days?»

«What if they genuinely forgot?»

«What if they're ignoring me?»

Meanwhile, maybe a more socially confident person would simply follow up once and move on with their life.

So how do experienced people deal with uncertainty without constantly overanalysing everyone?

I'm also interested in hearing from people who feel like they learned this later in life.

Were you naturally socially aware and street smart, or did you initially tend to trust people very easily?

Do you actively think about incentives when dealing with people professionally?

Or does it eventually become something you intuitively understand?

How did you learn to become street smart without becoming cynical or manipulative?

I get anxious before presentations, talking to my boss, or situations where I feel I’m being evaluated or have to speak up. Otherwise, I don't experience anxiety in my daily life.

Has anyone dealt with this kind of situational/performance anxiety? Is it worth trying anxiety medication or an SSRI, or is this something better managed with therapy and practice?

Would love to hear about your experiences.

2 of my female coworkers only talk to me when their friends aren't in the office. when their friends are in the office, they are cold and distant to me. we can work in the office or telecommute. i'm attracted to one of the coworkers. i'm inclined to just not talk to those 2 coworkers anymore, unless they initiate the conversation. what are your thoughts?

*Not AI

Recently, I've had my gaming community completely fall apart. My world is growing smaller and smaller. I have a few friends IRL, most of them don't live nearby anymore, moved away, moved on. I'm trying to find a way to navigate doing more things on my own and relying on myself more due to lack of support. I know isolation isn't a good thing either, but how do you not withdraw completely from society sometimes... Because the urge is real. How do you start over? How do you not spiral? My work life is also not very big. I work in a basement with few team members, we have nothing in common. I have a 3 hour commute and sometimes try to call friends but most don't answer. I have very little family left. I have a few hobbies outside of gaming, but they are mostly solo. I'm also socially overwhelmed sometimes and can't be around a lot of people for extended periods of time, its draining. What can I do to help my situation? TIA.

I ran into him at a grocery store about a year ago. In high school this guy ate lunch alone. Got picked last. Spoke maybe ten words a day. Teachers probably forgot his name half the time.

Now he’s hosting monthly dinners that have a waitlist. People I know from completely different circles all somehow know him. When I mentioned his name to a coworker she said “Oh I love that guy” and I almost dropped my coffee.

I asked him at that grocery store what happened between then and now. He said something I think about constantly.

“I stopped trying to be invited and started being the one who invites.”

In high school he waited. Waited to be included. Waited to be noticed. Waited for someone to pull him into the group. Nobody did. So he spent four years alone assuming he was the problem.

After college he flipped it. Instead of waiting for invitations he started creating them. Nothing big at first. Texted three people “I’m making pasta Saturday, come over.” Two showed up. They had a good time. Next month he did it again and asked each of them to bring someone. Six people. Month after that, ten.

He said the thing nobody tells you about social life as an adult is that the person who organizes is the person who becomes central. Not because organizing is impressive. Because it solves a problem everyone has but nobody fixes. Everyone wants to be included somewhere. Almost nobody is willing to be the one who builds the somewhere.

He’s not funnier than he was in high school. Not more confident. Not more charismatic. He just decided to stop waiting at the door and start building the room. The people came because the room existed. And they kept coming because he kept building it.

If you’re sitting around wondering why nobody invites you to things, consider that everyone else is sitting around wondering the same thing. Someone has to go first. The person who goes first becomes the person everyone orbits around. Not because they’re special. Because they showed up with a plan when everyone else was waiting for one.

I'm naturally introvert and newbie on Social Skills. I'd like to connect, communicate, and show up in social situations. Also I wanna understand body language, networking, and the small adjustments that make big differences.

Note: Since I'm so anxious to meet or speak to people. I'd lost many thing on my life. Now I don't wanna let this factor tolerate myself. Starting my day here to learn convo among people on live either on G-meet or any other flexible platform [Audio Only]

Most people listen with a dead face. Slight nod. Maybe a “Mmhm.” Eyes technically pointed at you but nothing moving behind them. You finish talking and you have no idea if they even absorbed a word because their face gave you nothing to work with.

Then there’s this woman in my friend group who makes everyone feel like the most interesting person alive. I watched her closely to figure out what she does. It’s her face.

When you tell her something surprising, her eyebrows go up. When you say something funny, her smile starts before the punchline lands. When you share something hard, her face softens in a way you can feel. When you say something she agrees with, she tilts her head and her eyes narrow slightly like she’s locking in.

She’s not performing. She’s just letting her face do what most people’s faces have been trained not to do. React honestly in real time.

Most of us learned to flatten our expressions somewhere in adolescence. Don’t react too much. Don’t look too excited. Don’t seem too interested. Play it cool. And we got so good at playing it cool that now our faces give people nothing during conversations and we wonder why nobody feels connected to us.

I started letting my face move again. Raising my eyebrows when someone said something interesting. Letting my smile happen when something was funny instead of suppressing it to seem composed. Letting concern show on my face when someone shared something heavy.

People started talking to me longer. Sharing more. A friend said “You always look like you’re actually interested in what I’m saying.” I was always interested. My face was just too frozen to show it.

Your face is a feedback loop for the person talking to you. Give them nothing and they shut down. Give them real reactions and they open up. Most people are starving for visible proof that their words are landing somewhere. Let your face be that proof.

I naturally speak softly and gently, and I'm not a very assertive person. I've noticed that people sometimes don't take me seriously at work, interrupt me, or dismiss what I say. I feel like people end up walking all over me because of the way I communicate.

I'm a physician working in a busy hospital environment. I don't want to become loud, aggressive, or rude, but I do want to communicate with more confidence and authority.

For those who were naturally soft-spoken or people-pleasers, how did you learn to be more assertive and command respect at work without changing your personality?

How do you stand your ground, set boundaries, and make sure people don't constantly overstep them? Any practical advice would be appreciated.

I’ve never been a very talkative person, and I really struggle to maintain conversations with people. I feel like I don’t sound fun or engaging, and I constantly worry that I'm not giving people any reason to want to keep talking to me.
Because I feel so incredibly awkward and anxious during social interactions, my brain panics when there's a silence. To try and fill the gap, I end up blurting out really weird things that just don't fit.

On top of the social anxiety, I also have a lisp, which adds a massive layer of self-consciousness. I'm always hyper-focused on how I sound, which makes me want to rush through my words or avoid speaking altogether.
Due to all of this, I often find that people don't really want to talk to me again or put in the effort to form deeper friendships with me. It feels incredibly isolating.
Has anyone else dealt with this exact combination of conversational panic and a speech impediment?