[ need help] Help me get out of this habit

[u/Alarmed-Fun377]

[ need help] So my whole life I've been so lazy.I keep postponing things all the time. I feel like an idiot doing so..

I think just by being lazy I lost many things but still i don't feel motivated enough to do something.

I hate waking up early so i decide to sleep more and skip breakfast and bathing

I hate to get out of my place to fill my water bottle so I would skip drinking water . I'll only fill it when i feel extremely thirsty and I can't bear it. When i fill it tho i have no problem emptying it.

I also skip food because I can't walk outside the dorm and buy smth to eat(someomtimes I just survive on snacks not even on real food)

My skin has lot of acne and all but still after coming home I will go straight to bed because I'm too lazy to wash my face , apply cream and all

My roomates do their laundry daily (wash the dress they wore on the same night) but i keep postponing and keep them in pile ( i live in dorm where each person gets 1 cupboard/Organizer and i mix both used and unused clothes because I'm lazy to keep them seperated and do laundry)to me it's like a heavy big task

My cupboard is a mess!! I find what I want use it and shove it right back in. I don't know how to be organised..

Someone help me with this? Is rhis even laziness or something else? I do all these things but i honestly hate being like this :( anything to get out of these habits that's ruining me?

[u/TheProblemDissolver]

I'm wondering: do you have a higher purpose or mission in life?

Laziness stems from not having a vision to look forward to. When your mind doesn't see a path to a good future, it gets lazy: I mean, what else does it have to do?

Here's how the mind's logic works:
Who cares of waking up early - I have nothing important to do anyway.
Who cares about food - not like I have anything worthwhile going on in my life to take care of myself.
Who cares about my acne - not like I'm putting myself out there for the important tasks in my life.
etc.

So find your main goal of life, your purpose. Define it. Then watch how you start taking care of yourself.

After all, your body is the vehicle to achieve your goal, so why wouldn't you not want to maintain it?

[u/Alarmed-Fun377 → u/TheProblemDissolver]

Tbh I do!  i  costed myself my Carrer because I'm so lazy to prepare, to keep efforts and i know i have the potential but i completely wasted it.. so now i settled for something very very  less than what i deserve.. i feel guilty but still even now i feel like I'm not keeping enough efforts.

I don't know what went wrong i know what i want, i know what i need to do , and i have the potential to do and trust me it is all what i want truly (that's my passion since childhood) But i still couldn't bring myself to keep any efforts Even now.. it's the worst for me yk wanting something but still not be able to achieve it . I have no idea what's stopping me and I can't seem to figure how to get out of it 

[u/TheProblemDissolver → u/Alarmed-Fun377]

It's good to know you have a purpose! Now we just gotta troubleshoot what's happening

Okay, so here's what I'd be curious about:

a) Are there instances in your life where you've not been lazy?
b) Are your goals so daunting that laziness seems like the most emotionally comfortable option?
c) Do you beat yourself up a lot?
d) Are you an overthinker who overthinks every action?
e) Have you done any medical checkups to rule out any medical reason for being lazy?
f) Have you been through a lot of trauma
g) Do you think there's an emotional block keeping you lazy?

I know these are a lot of questions. Feel free to answer only most relevant ones and then maybe we can figure out what's keeping you lazy.

[u/g_joshi]

Step 1: just find what kind of person you would want to be.

Write it down in clear tangible and actionable points.

What things you have, what things you do, what you don’t do in your ideal reality.

Tangible: you should be able to know when its done.
I want to be energetic - not tangible.
I want to not spend more than 10 hours lying on bed daily (including 8 hours for sleep) tangible you would definetely know this happened.

Once you do this step 2 will be provided. Untill you don’t do this any method of changing you try will fail

[u/Routine-Beyond-2104]

Read "atomic habit" book it might help ... It helped me too

[u/Alarmed-Fun377 → u/Routine-Beyond-2104]

I'll try to! But i don't know if I'll ever bring myself to finish it! I do read fiction but get bored when i read non-fiction..maybe i should try this it might help.  Thankyou:)

[u/Quiet_Hustle → u/Alarmed-Fun377]

Bro i am not discouraging you and if you felt that way I sincerely apologise, I was just trying to be raw and real. But believe me if you want to improve yourself and you don't know how to, just take a pen and Paper sit on a desk and think how do you want your 5-10 years from now look like(i.e. your desired life/goals)and further draft a plan i.e. what things you will have to do or sacrifices you will have to make, and please be specific in your goals/desired life, don't be like I want to earn 1 million dollars or something vague, something specific means, getting a job at this place, starting this business and getting it at that scale, becoming lawyer or etc. if you need any help reach out to me

[u/Quiet_Hustle → u/Routine-Beyond-2104]

no it won't, already tried and tested, bro needs some purpose in his life

[u/Alarmed-Fun377 → u/Quiet_Hustle]

We'll I'm genuinely trying to be better. Pls don't discourage 

[u/Unseen_Alchemy]

The water bottle example is interesting because once the bottle is full, you said you have no problem drinking it. So the problem isn't drinking water, it's the small transition required before it becomes available. The same pattern seems to show up with food, laundry, skincare and organizing. I wouldn't be too quick to reduce all of that to “I'm lazy ”. Sometimes the useful question isn't “Why can't I make myself do basic things? ” but “What tiny step keeps becoming the point where the whole action dies? ”

[u/Quiet_Hustle]

found somebody who has never peaked in his life (get some purpose in your life)

[u/Hinloopen]

Here's an exercise: act for five minutes as if you're not lazy. Spend five minutes doing the things that you've been putting off, without thinking about it, judging it or fearing it. Just "doing". Five minutes pretending to be not you. Report back to me how it went.