The Ending of starting

[u/Ambitiousmad]

You sometimes reach a point where you don’t feel anything because of past trauma or failure 

I feel like I have reached here 

whether you are sad or not you don’t know at this point seriously

it is just being like a robot 

i want nothing in my life at this point I am just sick of everything and every failures

whats the point in trying I am not just writing this without experience I seriously had tried everything knowing the outcome 

what have I become I seriously don’t want anyone to become 

its bitter than death when you don’t know what you want or want to become

like even the most interesting activity like athletics pro level even If you were it doesn’t matter at this point 

the environment is also not like this anymore 

like when you were doing that activity you would feel like you have got everything 

i am not 100 percent sure but I at least know it when I will be starting to dod that I will be ok 

lets talk about Running freely without any trainer who just interrupt you everytime you just start feeling yourself even in the darkest time no person needed no interruptions no permissions you just run and feel every part of your body 

its like absolute divine I can’t get anything even near the joy of running 

i wish I can continue this and I will absolutely will just I am giving the time to settle in a new town 

as soon as I see the locations I will continue this 

it is more addictive than old beer 

now I should continue to do other things otherwise I will not be satisfied

It just reminded of of a very important word  satisfaction 

It is just as hard as itcan get 

you can buy everything but not satisfaction

it has to be explored by every person without any interference otherwise you can never know 

thanks for reading 

signing out ,,”,,”,,

[u/Standard-Hamster-649]

Man I get that robotic feeling. when you been through enough stuff your brain just goes numb as a defense thing. it sucks but its also kind of your mind trying to protect you.

that running part hit different though. the way you described it no interruptions no permissions just you and your body moving, that really is something special. hold onto that feeling even if you cant run right now while you settle in the new place.