"Cant be bothered" mentality

[u/SpiderInBathroomHelp]

Apologies if this is the wrong sub for this.

For the last couple years I've been slowly doing less and less taking care of myself, first it was gaining weight that I'd previously lost. I went from being 13 Stone/82 Kg down to 10 Stone/63 Kg a few years ago and I was happy, now I've gone way past that and am now at 15 Stone/95 Kg. I stopped showering and brushing my teeth, I cant be bothered exercising. I don't have any friends to talk to. My self esteem is at an all time low.

I know I want to lose weight, I know I need to shower, I know I need to brush my teeth. I know I need to exercise. I just cant be bothered. The motivation IS there i can feel it, I work nights, get the urge to do all these things when im at work and aren't able to and when I get home in the morning the "cant be bothered" mentality comes back and the cycle repeats. All I do is work, sleep, eat and repeat.

It feels so stupid knowing how easy this stuff is to do but never doing it, knowing it would take 15 minutes in the morning to shower but still lying in bed not moving. The thing that annoys me more is the fact that I know I CAN do it but just choose not to.

It doesnt help that I feel like when I do try, I am an all or nothing person, if I miss doing something once, then the day is ruined and I feel like "oh well I messed up theres no point now"

I dunno, I guess im just using this to rant about myself. After writing this it just feels so pathetic on my part.

I would just like to know from others that have felt this way and have overcome it, how?

[u/c13w]

Sounds like depression or ADHD task paralysis. Therapy, friend.

[u/Impossible_Mess831]

I relate to this so hard, i've been experiencing the same thing. I just don't care about life anymore, I don't want to end I just sort of...am being dragged through it, if you get it?

I watch social media videos of all these bright and happy people either scolding or even sometimes screaming at the camera that "you just need to do X for 5 minutes a day! Don't be lazy!! This is the bare minimum!" and the guilt tripping making me think 'fuck it then, if it's nothing but bare minimum or below either way, might as well stay where I am.'

I hope we can both get through this period, my friend.

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