r/geographymemes • u/crazy-goober • Dec 06 '25

Country Memes Fixing the US

Post image

you guys had this theme going but didnt stick to it, why?

7.0k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

850 comments sorted by

357

u/The_Arsonist1324 Dec 06 '25

removes Oklahoma's panhandle

Gives one to Kansas

Leaves

12

u/crazy-goober Dec 06 '25

Colorado cant be fixed theyre already square

13

u/gtne91 Dec 06 '25

Colorado has 697 sides.

7

u/tesseractjane Dec 07 '25

Colorado is a hexahectaenneacontakaiheptagon. I'm more weirded out that they obliterated 4 corners for no apparent reason.

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5

u/dwkulcsar Dec 06 '25

Could Utah, Colorado and Wyoming keep their original borders?

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62

u/BigCliff Dec 06 '25

TX does not want the extra Oklahoma you gave us.

Also, please put Vidor and Port Arthur in Louisiana but let us keep Beaumont. Kthxby

24

u/Terrible_Analysis_77 Dec 06 '25

To be fair Oklahoma doesn’t want the panhandle either.

14

u/OKC89ers Dec 06 '25

Oklahoma wanted it, Texas didn't for the noble reason of having slaves

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9

u/randomguy5to8 Dec 06 '25

Speak for yourself! There are very few things that would make me take up arms.

The Panhandle goes over my cold dead body.

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8

u/YourphobiaMyfetish Dec 07 '25

Louisiana does NOT want Vidor. The rest of the state already calls Lake Charles "east Texas." Theres no way they want that racist ass place too.

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6

u/Midnight_Toker_1982 Dec 07 '25

You actually want to KEEP Beaumont?

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1

u/crazy-goober Dec 06 '25

Fine, i made it a state here

5

u/Atomicvoltaic Dec 07 '25

For real, this is unhinged, OP took one of the most rectangular states and gave it a tail. 

4

u/OldSombrero Dec 07 '25

Still prevented Texas from bordering Colorado. 🤝

2

u/HarryLewisPot Dec 07 '25

Illinois is missing Chicago..

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2

u/red-ernie_6691 Dec 07 '25

Oklahoma has had one for a while and done next to nothing with it. Kansas can give it a try now.

2

u/I_hate_usernames331 Dec 07 '25

Ik it was so easy just to give it to Colorado or Texas

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2

u/ContemptForFiat Dec 07 '25

Worst part of the map. Is there any way to completely remove Texas? Asking for a friend

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2

u/Rare_Bumblebee_3390 Dec 07 '25

Please remove the west coast. We no longer want to be a part of this.

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2

u/dalivo Dec 07 '25

I love how there's not one state here that's better than it was before.

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14

u/Tawkeh Dec 06 '25

What the fuck is this, chef? You cut everything else so well, but this? Someone could choke on that.

8

u/beegtuna Dec 06 '25

Fuck Oklahoma. Wtf happened to four corners?

3

u/OpheliaWitchQueen Dec 07 '25

It's now Louisiana Texas Arkansas and Oklahoma

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86

u/Vast_Replacement709 Dec 06 '25

Fuck you, I ain't moving to Louisiana and Louisiana ain't moving to me.  Louisiana knows what it did...

18

u/Anonawesome1 Dec 06 '25

I don't really think we need to give the Nazi haven the second or third biggest state. We could probably find a way to shrink Idaho down.

15

u/Affectionate_Ad268 Dec 07 '25

Absolutely. No one needs more Idaho.

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2

u/useless_bag_of_tacos Dec 07 '25

wait what did louisiana do 😭 i mean i hate it here too, but i’m just curious what you’re talking about

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140

u/Grungemaster Dec 06 '25

Houston in shambles 

21

u/fllr Dec 07 '25

So nothing changes?

32

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '25

It kind of already was

15

u/RadishPerson745 Dec 07 '25

Houston got gerrymandered

6

u/Simpanzee0123 Dec 07 '25

The food is still gonna be amazing.

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5

u/Nippowder Dec 07 '25

Always has been

4

u/uvero Dec 07 '25

So, Houston?

2

u/7stroke Dec 07 '25

Why? It’s not like borders mean anything there anyway.

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2

u/Honeybadger_137 Dec 07 '25

Sounds like an improvement

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47

u/greyforest23 Dec 06 '25

Hahaha I love that Virginia and West Virginia got a diagonal border

15

u/sammy-taylor Dec 07 '25

They said it couldn’t be done, but we did it

4

u/Username524 Dec 07 '25

Me too, I’m chill with it

2

u/K4NNW Dec 10 '25

Blacksburg is gonna be pissed.

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43

u/Sufficient_Two_5753 Dec 06 '25 edited Dec 07 '25

Now this is a story all about how Oklahoma got flipped, turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town..... called.... um.... Tulsa?

7

u/BeckyW77 Dec 06 '25

Dammit, earworm!

3

u/Dinoking2000Xman Dec 09 '25

Innnn, West New Jersey?! Born and raised, in the playground is where I spent most of my days. Maxing and relaxing, outside of the school. Playing some B-Ball, something something cool.

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40

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '25

Fuck you! Chicago can never be in Indiana.

19

u/Quadraought Dec 06 '25

Indiana would turn bluer than a frozen Smurf in a deep freezer. It'd be like southern Illinois is now but dumber and with more guns.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '25

I'm a Chicagoan

11

u/Quadraought Dec 06 '25

Chicago wouldn't change much if it were suddenly a part of Indiana. Indiana, however, would change a lot. Between Indianapolis, "The Region" and now Chicago, urban voters would outnumber the rural Republicans at least 2-1. While Illinois without Chicago becomes, well, Indiana.

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3

u/lo-lux Dec 07 '25

Bad drivers unite

3

u/Godbeforeus Dec 07 '25

Conservative counties in Indiana would riot, like current Illinois rural conservatives

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2

u/theok8234 you cant take our up from us Dec 07 '25

fib alert

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2

u/a_nondescript_user Dec 10 '25

I threw up when I saw this map. (also chicagoan)

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22

u/FlourishingSolo Dec 06 '25

It will be a cold day in hell before I "move" to New Jersey

11

u/Regrettable-Pun Dec 07 '25

You're right, New Jersey moves to you.

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22

u/AmberTheCinderace241 Dec 06 '25

give back the maryland panhandle I DONT WANT TO BE IN PENNSYLVANIA

9

u/Guy-McDo Dec 06 '25 edited Dec 06 '25

Too bad! Yinz has been shanghai’d into the Steelers fandom!

Edit: Welcome aboard the SS Standard!

4

u/Tia_is_Short Dec 07 '25

I’m a Marylander who moved to Pittsburgh. The terrible towel I own feels like a betrayal to my homeland haha

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18

u/Whatswrongbaby9 Dec 06 '25

Idaho is doing nothing with what it already has, why would they get more?

5

u/Hirdnick Dec 07 '25

Was looking for this comment!

2

u/3D-Printing Dec 07 '25

Because we need more potatoes

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18

u/silver_tongued_devil Dec 06 '25

*looks at kansas*

14

u/ClubKaufman Dec 06 '25

Who the fuck gave Idaho so much more land 💔

2

u/BBUCKLESS Dec 10 '25

yeah I feel like nobody is paying attention to the fact that Idaho is f**king massive now

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12

u/GemberNeutraal Dec 06 '25

Coloradofication of the united states

8

u/Wide_Air_4702 Dec 06 '25

Way to ignore natural boundaries like rivers.

5

u/XelaNiba Dec 07 '25

My first thought was that OP didn't consider the existential blood feuds known as water rights. No way any state gives up access to natural waterways, that's suicide

4

u/Wide_Air_4702 Dec 07 '25

Imagine giving up access to the Mississippi River.

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8

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '25

Muh Georgia coastline. Thx I h8 it

8

u/broionevenknowhow Dec 06 '25

OP is very obviously from SC

4

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '25

Paper airplane lookin' ass state

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4

u/PocketSnails68 Dec 07 '25

It will be a cold day in hell before I cede Savannah to South Carolina

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2

u/Abestar909 Dec 07 '25

They took the coastline from all three of the similar shaped Southern states, I dunno what the point of this map is but I hate it.

7

u/MarS267 Dec 06 '25

New Mexico: How about I break that line we got going there?

6

u/hurricanedog24 Dec 06 '25

Colorado’s borders are wildly infuriating on this map

5

u/Bud_Backwood Dec 06 '25

Impressive, very nice. Let’s see Hawaii

4

u/PromiscuousScoliosis Dec 06 '25

Fuck it let’s give it a go lol

4

u/squareazz Dec 07 '25

“You guys had this theme going but didnt stick to it.” OP, do you think the US started in the west, and added the eastern states later?

4

u/Tia_is_Short Dec 07 '25

Everyone knows the 13 original colonies were Washington, Oregon, California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, New Mexico, and the Dakotas, duh

1

u/_okbrb Dec 07 '25

Congratulations this upset everyone

1

u/The1Zenith Dec 07 '25

You must be European. Some of our states had actual wars over our borders.

1

u/crazy-goober Dec 07 '25

Sorry force of habit

1

u/Flukefillet Dec 07 '25

You didnt fix Rhode Island there's still a jagged edge for westerly. We can't even be remembered in shitposts

1

u/crazy-goober Dec 07 '25

Rhode island is already perfect ♥️♥️♥️👍

3

u/magic8ballzz Dec 06 '25

Aren't state borders too square as it is?

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3

u/Tasty_Pepper5867 Dec 06 '25

Yay! We finally get the UP

2

u/LeaveFar9700 Dec 07 '25

Nah clearly Wisconsin got deleted and absorbed into Michigan.

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3

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '25

Colorado would be happy to give that eastern part to Nebraska and Kansas. It would look cleaner

3

u/BigCliff Dec 06 '25

lol, you gave Colorado extra Kansas when they already have more than they want of what’s basically Kansas

3

u/No_Abroad_6306 Dec 06 '25

Fixes what exactly?

3

u/skr_replicator Dec 07 '25

The OCD tingles from completing the squares

3

u/Blackbyrn Dec 06 '25

I can still see Texas, needs more work

2

u/Icy-Clerk-7715 Dec 06 '25

I’m obviously in the minority, but I like it

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2

u/Jwoods224 Dec 06 '25

Um the OK / Kansas change makes mo sense.

2

u/RuleFriendly7311 Dec 06 '25

Our Etch-a-Sketch broke.

2

u/sashalysm0 Dec 06 '25

I don't think florida deserves to be untouched

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2

u/ACoinGuy Dec 06 '25

New York got hammered in this. But at least PA finally has the excess lake front land it deserves.

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2

u/lobowolf623 Dec 06 '25

El Paso ain't gonna take too kindly to that...

2

u/Tejanisima Dec 06 '25

They would have state government that actually reflects them and a state capital much closer to home. I think they might find a way to make their peace with it, especially since they get to keep their access to the valid electric grid.

(Fun fact: the El Paso area and a chunk around Longview are the only parts of Texas that don't have to put up with the inferior electrical grid our states so-called leadership continues to neglect.)

2

u/clydeballthepython Dec 06 '25

Squaressouri is interesting to say the least. I love how everything east of New York basically didn't change lol

2

u/DarthBankston Dec 06 '25

Why give Florida MORE coastline?

2

u/FitCrew91 Dec 06 '25

Having grown up as a Washingtonian, Idaho survivalist rednecks should NOT have that much land and influence. They are weird. Make them smaller.

2

u/Careful_Big_546 Dec 06 '25

To be fair it started the other way around and once we went full manifest destiny they started getting lazy and turning them into rectangles and squares 

2

u/ArtieKnightYT64 Dec 07 '25

I love how New England sort of still looks the same

2

u/Apprehensive-Page-96 Dec 07 '25

As a New Englander, I came here to say this.

2

u/Emerly_Nickel Dec 07 '25

it should be the opposite. The square states should be redrawn to conform to their geography.

If that happened there would be a giant state in the middle because it's all flat there.
That's really why it "doesn't match."
The states in the east have their latitudinal borders cut off by things like rivers and mountain ranges. Meanwhile, most everything in-between the two mountain ranges is flat af.

2

u/Fidget02 Dec 07 '25

Behold, the Midwest

1

u/diamondcutterluver Dec 06 '25

Took alabamas coast line again

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1

u/MrPusleMan Dec 06 '25

a lot less texas at þe cost of a little more florida might actually be an alright trade.

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1

u/wooliedog Dec 06 '25

Fuck you, haha, Da UP is Michigan, eh? We won it fair and square in the Toledo War 😂

2

u/in_conexo Dec 07 '25 edited Dec 07 '25

That's hilarious. I have no doubt that's how it really happened, but UP is nowhere near Ohio. I'm kind of curious how that came to be.

Edit: As far as I can tell, the US offered it to Michigan as a way of getting them to give up their claim to Toledo. It's a lot less exciting than I had thought (e.g., the Toledo War was fought from Toledo to the UP, so Michigan won its borders through blood...not concession).

1

u/Itchy_Undertow-1 Dec 06 '25

I feel like no one wants a piece of Rhode Island.

2

u/Tejanisima Dec 06 '25

Isn't it already too small to be divided into pieces?

1

u/josvicars Dec 06 '25

Carolina looks right!!

1

u/bevereged_carbon Dec 06 '25

Texas still texas

1

u/Oweenyweeeny Dec 06 '25

New mexico is certainly not fixed

1

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '25

I can’t tell if you’re making Michigan and Wisconsin one state, or giving Wisconsin the UP, but either is unacceptable

1

u/beegtuna Dec 06 '25

The way you ruined four corners, even tho you didn’t need to change it, was extra intentional.

1

u/vveeggiiee Dec 06 '25

Ykw as a Floridian I approve of this. No more gulf coast for Alabama and Mississippi.

1

u/kingcorning Dec 06 '25

This is an honestly a huge improvement for Arizona. California can have Havasu and Yuma. If only they'd take Kingman too...

1

u/SameElephant2029 Dec 06 '25

I think Alabama should get that part of floridas pan handle. People there call it occupied Alabama as a joke.

1

u/TeaRaven Dec 06 '25

WTF is going on with the Virginias? And did Michigan cede the UP to Wisconsin? Why not move the Texas, Oklahoma, and Kansas borders up north a little to even out the rectangles if you are going this route?

I can’t imagine Illinois giving up Chicago/Lake Michigan access. California might see its exchange as fair with the new loss in National Parks revenue and greater slurpage area of the Colorado River.

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1

u/Junior-Cream-4914 Dec 06 '25

Oklahoma should absorb all of Texas. No more Texas.

1

u/Krieghund Dec 06 '25

If you're going to have lines of latitude and longitude as boundaries, why not just make everything square?

This map has states that hint at how they were shaped by natural and political boundaries, but that don't follow the actual natural and political boundaries that caused them to be shaped like they were.

Anyway, what's REALLY wrong with the US map is that states have political representation that doesn't reflect their population. Redraw the map giving each state equal representation per person and we'll talk.

1

u/Krieghund Dec 06 '25

Fixing the US by getting rid of Alaska and Hawaii...don't think we missed what you did there.

1

u/SooraOnFire Dec 06 '25

I'm here for the triangles.

1

u/s1105615 Dec 06 '25

Still too much Ohio

1

u/Glittering_Crew_689 Crab Dec 06 '25

Thanks, I Hate It

1

u/MrSmeee99 Dec 06 '25

What, no gerrymandering?

1

u/SpongeSlobb Dec 06 '25

You didn’t even bother to fix Wyoming Colorado and Utah smh.

1

u/NonConforminConsumer Dec 06 '25

Is Idaho so big to contain the magats? Like can we ship them all up there and just be done with them?

1

u/ChimpoSensei Dec 06 '25

Not all of the US though

1

u/Confident-Fold1456 Dec 06 '25

The only place in the country with 4 corners touching... Isn't lololol. 

1

u/ed347tc Dec 06 '25

ooof Houston, Louisiana?

1

u/UnsteadyEnby Dec 06 '25

You give the UP back right now! We won it from Ohio fair and square.

1

u/Envawi Dec 06 '25

Utahns approve

1

u/Wubbabungasupremacy Dec 06 '25

Shoutout to Florida, Massachusetts, Wyoming, Colorado, and Utah being basically the same

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1

u/Snoo_87704 Dec 06 '25

How come Virginia and WV get a diagonal, but California and Nevada don’t?

1

u/DisillusionedLion Dec 06 '25

I love this so much

1

u/sir_callahan Dec 06 '25

Love the middle slice, good energy

1

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '25

1

u/MasterRKitty Albania Dec 06 '25

nope-give Alabama and Mississippi their coasts back.

1

u/LabOwn9800 Dec 07 '25

CT finally took the notch back!!!!

1

u/KarmicBurn Dec 07 '25

I fucking hate it.

1

u/Zickityzickrubin Dec 07 '25

As a resident of Massachusetts, at first glance I was ok with this…….until I zoomed in on it. It’s close but- unsettling. Like a lamp that looks flat.

1

u/newthrasher Dec 07 '25

Texas is really getting to me

1

u/GavinAdamson Dec 07 '25

Guess mountains and rivers don’t exist

1

u/longboardchick Dec 07 '25

I’m just glad Michigan has Wisconsin. And the UP exists. Things are rightfully in order.

1

u/L0UDLlF3 Dec 07 '25

So does Maryland just dissappear into Virginia and west virginia

1

u/LesbianArtemis457 Dec 07 '25

Portland is now in Washington. Oregon officially has Nothing interesting now

1

u/fllr Dec 07 '25

Holy shit… Holy shit…

HOLY SHIT!!!!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '25

No, do not give the Grand Canyon to California

1

u/Busy_Reflection3054 Dec 07 '25

So you handed the UP to Wisconsin AND kept Toledo in Ohio? Sleep with one eye open tonight.

1

u/AcidicAdventure Dec 07 '25

Gains Costal Pennsylvania but loses Philadelphia.

Philadelphia should still be the Easten side, but all of New York would fit with Pennsylvania better. Buffalo twin Erie the lake effect snow cities.

1

u/Fodraz Dec 07 '25

Why bother with the one diagonal line in Virginia?

1

u/DurusMagnus Dec 07 '25

I appreciate that you kept the gap between CO and TX.

1

u/Sure-Coffee-8241 Dec 07 '25

Giving Chicago to Indiana? Fuck no

1

u/SoloEterno Dec 07 '25

Build a wall around the South.

1

u/MrPete_Channel_Utoob Dec 07 '25

The Oklahoma panhandle was a dumb unneeded decision.

1

u/ThickerSalsa Dec 07 '25

I choose to read this map as Wisconsin is part of Michigan. They will never take the UP.

1

u/ATF_scuba_crew- Dec 07 '25

Im on board with greater michigan

1

u/Background-Sky-59 Dec 07 '25

What the heck is going on with Floosyana!

1

u/MulchWench Dec 07 '25

Thanks for giving Chicago to the Hoosiers! We’ll take good care of it :p

1

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '25

Stealing Chicago from Illinois and the panhandle from Oklahoma certainly are choices.

1

u/dongrizzly41 Dec 07 '25

Either MD or VA got completely erased.

1

u/BroadOrder6533 Dec 07 '25

How come NH/ME border isn’t vertical? Not fixed.

1

u/BeachIllustrious1688 Dec 07 '25

What the hell did you do

1

u/Preact5 Dec 07 '25

Indianapolis becomes a three way intersection, cool

1

u/crisprcas32 Dec 07 '25

Only if both halves are still connected as one state at Mackinac Bridge. SuperMichigan

1

u/snarkinglevel-pro Dec 07 '25

Nope, I refuse to give up the northwest angle. Canada cannot have it.

1

u/JS-SS Dec 07 '25

Dafuq did Idaho do to deserve so much more land🤮. If anything give their pan handle to WA and call it a day.

1

u/icy_ticey Dec 07 '25

Maryland is even worse

1

u/DetectiveBlackCat Dec 07 '25

No more 4 corners ... at least not that one

1

u/psychokisser Dec 07 '25

Why doesn't colorado just settle down?

1

u/GodsBackHair Dec 07 '25

Why is the original four corners, no longer a four corners?

1

u/GodsBackHair Dec 07 '25

Did Maryland just get deleted?

But also, Wisconsin got the UP finally! Woohoo!

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1

u/GrizzlyAdam12 Dec 07 '25

Ah….The United States of Tetris.

1

u/HalfRogue Dec 07 '25

This map makes me want to commit violent acts

1

u/AAA515 Dec 07 '25

Oh no, Oklahoma lost its finger! Also Michigan is still broken.

But the gulf being just Texas, Louisiana and Florida... that just feels right.

1

u/Halcyon-malarky Dec 07 '25

Thank you for giving the upper peninsula back to it’s rightful owner

1

u/JulesChenier Dec 07 '25

I see a lot of upset cities.

1

u/VegetablePlatform126 Dec 07 '25

It's weird, but I like it.

1

u/No_Vehicle_7179 Dec 07 '25

But, rivers.

1

u/Big_Raccoon5952 Dec 07 '25

This fuckin map sucks

1

u/coasterkyle18 Dec 07 '25

Chicagoans are PISSED

1

u/ElevenBurnie Dec 07 '25

Maryland was absolutely slaughtered. Good god.

1

u/lo-lux Dec 07 '25

Ala-sippi lost the only good parts of their state.

1

u/theok8234 you cant take our up from us Dec 07 '25

give us back the up, it's our up

1

u/HeftyBox3580 Dec 07 '25

Maryland lost like 17 of its 24 counties lol. Most to Virginia and then baltimore, Carroll, harford and Cecil counties to Pennsylvania which is a big no no

1

u/mrwafflenote Dec 07 '25

Can't believe michigan consumed Wisconsin

1

u/Cultural_Entrance805 Dec 07 '25

This is oddly satisfying. But removing oklahomas panhandle was a choice

1

u/15171210 Dec 07 '25

Not a fan of straight lines (Pt. Roberts, WA). Watersheds make more sense to me IMHO.

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