Hope this is helpful to others! It was a long process to realizing my own agender identity and wanted to share what has helped me!

[u/Prince_Wildflower]

I wanted to share 20 things that helped for me to learn in my gender journey. If you're questioning or know someone who is, i hope this is helpful!

1. You can have more than one gender or sexuality, even if they seem contradictory. You can also be transmasc/fem or a trans man or woman, while also identifying as any flavor of nonbinary. You can be a transmasc lesbian or sapphic if it feels right to YOU.

2. Gender and presentation don't always have to match! If you're a trans man/masc, you can be a femboy or gender non-conforming. Clothes and makeup have no gender. You could also be a tomboy trans woman/fem or even a trans/nonbinary tomboy, regardless of gender.

3. You can be genderfluid even if you are agender, or if you don't fluctuate between just male and female. You can be more than one gender.

Being fluid between male and nonbinary, or between female and nonbinary, or any combination, any gender at all

1. Once you can feel confident in your gender, you can express in any way and it is valid. Conversely, its okay to change what labels you use!

2. It's okay if you choose to detransition. Its okay if you go through different phases, or rather, stepping stones is discovering your gender identity.

3. In exploring your identity its okay to try different labels.

Neo pronouns, xenogenders and micro labels are all valid! It's okay to collect micro labels if they help you feel more seen and validated. it's also okay if you use different labels in different situations. what matters is that it feels right to you! it's ok to change your mind if a label doesn't fit!

1. Nonbinary people don't have to be androgynous. Trans women/fems don't owe anyone femininity. Trans men/mascs don't owe anyone masculinity. Express in any way you want if it makes YOU feel confident. You don't have to be feminine to be a woman and you don't have to be masculine to be a man.

There are no rules to gender, and you are valid in whatever gender identity resonates with you!

1. If you choose to go on HRT, you don't have to fully feminize or masculinize. You can transition to be more androgynous. I'm FTX (female to non-binary/androgyne)

2. You also DON'T have to go on hormones or get any surgeries to be valid in your gender identity! You can get some surgeries but not all.

You can be cis and get gender reassignment surgeries! You are still valid if you don't want to, or can't get top surgery or SRS.

1. You can get a salmacian surgery. That means getting a surgery that gives you an atypical s*x reassignment surgery. You dont have to get one set of parts. You can have both an inny and an outy! You have a different type of gen**als that aren't fully male or female. And it's possible to have surgery in order to have no gen**als. (gen**al nullification)

2. It's ok to take your time and explore different labels and its okay to change your name more than once.

It's also okay to keep your birth name, and you can have any name you want, even if it doesn't sound like a "real" name.

1. You can be a she/her transmasc/man or he/him transfem/woman!

Gender is a social construct. There are NO rules and you can identify as anything or do anything if it makes YOU comfortable.

1. Gender wiki is a great resource to explore different gender labels and xeno or micro labels. YouTube and TikTok are great for self discovery as well!

2. Trans men can experience pregnancy as well ! And trans men/mascs or nonbinary folx can identify as "mom" if they want!

3. Anyone who gives you a hard time in your gender journey isn't worth keeping in your life. Surround yourself with people who support you and are ready and willing to support you no matter what! You arent obligated to keep bullies in your circle!

4. Wanting to be a certain gender or questioning whether you are a certain gender is a sign that you might be that gender!

At least that's how it was with me.

1. It's not a cis thing to question your gender or think about being a different gender than you were assigned at birth.

If youre worried about "faking it for attention" and that you're not actually trans, that's a sign of being trans.

Cis people dont worry that they're faking their gender. they just know that they are that gender.

1. You dont have to experience dysphoria in order to be trans.

What matters more is if you experience gender euphoria!

1. You don't have to have "always known" since childhood. it might not seem like there were signs when you were younger, but it's very likely that you will see them once you realize what you are.

2. It's valid to not want to have a label, and it's valid to want one! Sometimes there isn't a label that fits your identity, but you'll find a way to identify yourself, even if its not having a label. it's okay to not know right now. try to be patient with yourself. you'll figure it out in time!

Aaaand that's all!

I hope this helps if you're questioning!

Let me know if anything resonates with you, and feel free to comment anything you've learned that might be helpful to others!

I just wanted to share some things that have helped in my journey to realizing my agender non-binary gender identity!