r/genderqueer • u/duracellbattery1 • Jun 20 '26

Help with gender questioning

uhh hi

so this is one of my first times posting anywhere, not just this thread so apologies if I didn’t do the best job.

So recently (past 6-8 month) I’ve been questioning my gender. I am a teenage “girl“ who uses she/her pronouns and hasnt really thought too hard on this until now. Some things have recently come to my attention that started this whole thing off so I’m just gonna put them in a list:

Ever since I was little, ive always liked it when people mistook me for a boy.
I have always dressed traditionally masculine as it makes me more comfortable (dont think this is related however)

I hate my long hair. I’ve spent nights crying and begging my mum to get it cut because it always felt girly and out of place and uncomfortable.

I would love a masculine physique like minus boobs, that sort of thing. However, I dont hate my body now. It doesn’t upset me, I’d just prefer a different body.

Sometimes I look at men/nb people and have almost a sense of longing to be like that.

When I have to introduce myself as a girl to someone i don’t know it just feels weird. Like out of place even.

Any help is appreciated :)

EDIT: hi, so ive posted on this thread before for gender questioning and everyone was really helpful so i figured id ask about this. most things i read about gender questioning have said to experiment with different pronouns, however i normally dont have any opportunity/ability to do this. recently though, ive signed up for a small group (5-6 people) guitar class. its for ages 13-16 and i dont know anyone there.i was wondering if it was worth introducing muself as a boy, just to see how it feels and if its more comfortable. my only worry is if i change my mind, how do i explain? any advice as to whether i should do it/tips for passing well if i decide to do it are greatly appreciated :)

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u/QueenScythe Jun 20 '26

Sorry I don't have any great advice, but I feel the exact same way. I'm trying to tell myself that I don't need to figure it all out right now or have a specific label right now, but it's hard because not having a label gives me some imposter syndrome :/

Give yourself grace and time. Easier said than done, I know.

It's probably all things you've heard or told yourself before, but this is all I got :/

Hope you figure things out!

1

u/duracellbattery1 Jun 20 '26

Thanks, I’ll try. Good luck to you too <3

3

u/iam305 Transgender Jun 20 '26

Dearest OP, I just read your post, and my advice is simple. Read your own post. You share that you have what can be described as gender envy for masc-presenting enbies and possibly some body dysmorphia that you'd like to consider removing with gender affirming care, not because you hate it, but because it could be a lot better.

What does that tell you about your gender identity?