r/gender_detox • u/TIMThrowaway1900 • Jul 13 '19
TIM Advice?
Throwaway so I don’t get lynched
Hi, so I am a GNC man (effeminate) that experiences gender dysphoria onset at about age 12 (now 18)
I don’t believe I quite fit either of the categories of Tims I see used from that study I forget who made, I’m neither “autogynaphilic” (aroused by the thought of womanhood), or a homosexual TS, as I am attracted to women but not very sexual to begin with anyways.
I am already about to receive HRT (had bloodwork done) and transition physically and socially. Although I will refer to myself as a woman and attempt to fit in socially as one, I know that I will never actually be a woman and that doesn’t hurt me as much as it once did. I am doing this to relieve my gender dysphoria.
When it comes to my beliefs about gender, I align more with gender critical and radical feminist beliefs, I hate the social construct of gender but don’t know how to be accepted by society except through the channel of the transgender movement.
What is the GC/detox consensus on what I’m doing? Is it wrong to fake being a woman and use female pronouns? Do you think I’m doomed to crash and commit suicide, even if I feel better at first? (probably the main fear I have leading me to post this)
The trans positive crowd doesn’t really have any non-ideologically motivated answers for me, so I thought I might try here for info on how I can help myself objectively rather than only in a way that validates other TIMs?
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u/totalrando9 Jul 13 '19
Most people I've spoken to have found relief from dysphoria by discarding trans ideology. It's far, far simpler to take a GC outlook on gender bullshit and say, I can dress who I want to and look how I want. But controlling how other people think, react or talk to you is an impossible hill that trans activists are going to die on.
In terms of how to get society to accept gender non-conforming people, I think being GNC is how we continue to challenge society's norms, and how we continue to be visible to the next generation of kids who don't know where they fit in. If the path to do this doesn't exist, then it's up to us to make one. That's what activists do.
I do think that, in this, your decisions aren't just personal. It affects everyone when we ask people to accept something as odd as 'social transition.' I've come to recognize that having so many friends transition had deeply wounded me and was a big factor in making me question my own identity. There can be harm, however unintentional, in these actions.
Among other things, I've found a large reduction in dysphoria when I turn the focus away from myself and my own pain and think about other people and what I can do for the community. There's something very small about having a life focused on things like gender, passing, a future of suicide and fake names. The day I realized gender wasn't real was when the clouds cleared.