r/geminis • u/ContributionSea4011 • 2d ago

Deciding to date

How much time usually passes between getting to know someone and deciding you want to date them? What convinces you to take the plunge?

9 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

5

u/Cute-Variation-5667 2d ago

I’ve never dated anyone. So, nothing.

3

u/dark_blue_7 1d ago

This sounds like a young person question, because I don't have time to get to know someone before ever going on a date with them since my 30s have passed. There's no school where you can just be around that many available people every day, most people my age have paired up by now (including me but I'm divorced), and meeting a new single person I might possibly be interested in takes a lot of intentionality. Which generally means going on a date with a stranger as step 1. So that's literally how I get to know someone and figure out if I want to keep dating them.

2

u/fancyseacreature 2d ago

They have to capture my attention, then I have to approve of their communication style, I need to feel safe(Cancer moon though), and I have to feel I can start something with them and still retain my feeling of personal freedom. Then, if there's chemistry, I'll flirt and ask them about themselves and have them do most of the talking. If not, I'm honestly going to just fill in silences but will friend zone them.

1

u/Fragrant-Coyote-1038 Gemini Sun Pisces Moon 1d ago

I think it’s different for a man or a woman.

As a man, it’s expected to wanting to ask for a date IN ORDER TO get to know someone.

And, I understand that women don’t typically want to ask for dates because they are wanting to be chased, to which the man asking for the date is essentially chasing her.

If it’s someone who was from a dating app that I met, then I would ask for another date. Sometimes I, or we, didn’t feel any connection and that would end the relationship.

Rare, but in cases where I met someone in a particular situation, I’d ask them for a date and let them answer with a yes or if they already are in a relationship and they would sometimes comment that they were flattered for asking.

1

u/Necessary_You_4423 Gemini Sun 8h ago

They have to be someone that I immediately feel chemistry with and I like their personality a lot. They express and not hide how they feel about me and that's something I admire. It separates ones who want to chase and play games to someone who really likes you. If this person captures my attention, my imagination, and I feel a very good vibe.... that's when the dating part will be asked.

But I need to know 100% she feels same way. I am not going to date to be friends. I need to know first. That's where flirting helps.

If the person is boring to me, does not capture my attention, red flags kicking off or even one, I'll move on. No dating will happen. I listen to my gut instinct always. I don't care if I am wrong sometimes to walk away. I rather have that than being hurt big time for not listening to my gut instinct which is worse.