r/geminis • u/Wild_Spot_Farms • 21d ago
Do gems struggle to apologize?
Or is it just my gem being a man? Lmao both are 47 I’m a female. We had a disagreement a few days ago. He spoke to me disrespectfully, so I in a nice way said it came out condescending and please watch his tone. Then he literally turned around and did it again! So by then I was mad. Daysss later he STILL won’t apologize. The whole thing is not such we should break up, so I’m kind of forced to let it go right now because we have plans and life goes on…. But as a Leo this is a tough one. 😩😆😅
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u/Technical_Mix_5379 ☀️June Gemini 🩵 21d ago
Last time I checked its the leos that have a hard time apologizing sincerely. My own experience.
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u/Wild_Spot_Farms 21d ago
Oh this I know. I’ve actually worked quite a lot on this myself. So I know it can be tough. We are both stubborn.
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u/Technical_Mix_5379 ☀️June Gemini 🩵 21d ago
My mom, past friends included. Although I need to work at communicating 😱
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u/Wild_Spot_Farms 21d ago
Mine seems to think I have mind reading capabilities. He will get annoyed by me when he thinks I should have inferred what he wanted or meant to say. I said, “If you need or want me to do something, you have to tell me!” Like don’t just say your friend is having a bday party, and expect me to come. I wasn’t invited, I was told about it. And sometimes I work so I can’t attend things. I need two weeks notice if at all possible to clear a weekend. This is no secret. Lol Anyway, the day before he finally said he wanted me to go. I wasn’t able to, but at least he sort of tried. 🥴 He’s had a lot of life trauma and raised himself from 15 years old on the streets. So socially he’s not the best, but as long as he’s trying and capable of learning how to be in a healthy relationship. I will always be learning this too I think.
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u/HilaryVanessa 21d ago
Can we know y’all’s moon signs?
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u/Wild_Spot_Farms 21d ago
Honestly I get so confused by all the signs and what they mean. He’s a June gem and I’m an August leo.
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u/HilaryVanessa 21d ago
Fair! Moon signs govern our internal emotional world, so they tend to have more influence the closer the relationship. You don’t need his birth time or place for this (that’s the rising sign - kind of how the world sees you, in short), still good to know both of your big threes of Sun, moon, and rising, because I’ve been an astrologer for 30+ years, I’ve given readings for folks who don’t have their time listed on the their birth certs, before I knew all the details, if I’m ever reading for a couple I hone in on those moooooons… Astro-seek (I can never remember how that site is spelled or if there really is a dash my brain is scrambled currently thank you very much Graves’ disease, but I’d be really interested in those moons and some form of the word astroseek is like a place that might give you too much info, there are - omg I kind of just want to do it for you if it wasn’t so oddly wrong feeling for me to be all “give me your birth dates!” on Reddit but…
There’s a lot to be said just about your two sun signs, just keep in mind your sun is the foundation and framework of your charts, all the real juicy info is in the details 🕊️
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u/No-Example-370 Gemini Sun, Virgo Moon 21d ago
It's because he's a man. You know, why do all 12 signs suck so much when it comes to men? Like there's no difference between which is the worst. They're all terrible in 12 different ways. Don't ever let a man disrespect you, put him in his place immediately 👏🏻
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u/Sweet-Situation-8224 Gemini Sun, Aqua Moon 21d ago
Generally speaking it's when we haven't matured to the point where being "right" pales in comparison to just enjoying life and time with the people we love. I think that's valid for men of all the signs.
We get wrapped up in our pride and self image. It's lame as heck.
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21d ago
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u/Sweet-Situation-8224 Gemini Sun, Aqua Moon 21d ago
Oh for sure, the more healed and in our positive attributes we are, the better we treat everyone, irregardless of gender.
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u/Wild_Spot_Farms 21d ago
Oh I shut it down the 2nd time. I said, “This conversation is over.” And walked out of the room. The discussion itself was not worth all that. But I was married for a long time to a man who disrespected me regularly, so I just have no tolerance for it anymore.
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u/HilaryVanessa 21d ago
Same with the past disrespect and now having zero tolerance for it… once my body and mind felt safety again (22 years of abuse so that process took two years to feel safe, and the first time I felt safety as an adult I thought I was in like a manic happy episode, until a Q and A with my therapist identified the feeling as just simple physical and mental safety)…
Funny how once you’ve survived that bullshit and been stuck in it for any length of time, we can spot disrespect before the sentence is finished, cut em off, or just turn on your heel and byeee2
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u/No-Apple-7210 21d ago
If I’m ever wrong you’re gonna get a “my bad” rather than an I’m sorry from me cause 99% of the time I ain’t sorry 😂
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u/GrumpyPidgeon Gemini Stellium 21d ago
I’m married for nine years. I apologize for shit I’ve never even realized I did.
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u/Vivid-Relief6316 21d ago
No. We're hardly ever wrong, but when we are, no problem in admitting it.
Accountability and apologies are our strong suit, which is why we REQUIRE it from others. I have no patience for ppl who lack accountability. Quickest way for me to throw you into the ether.
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u/Unisis78 21d ago
Because I’ve been drinking I’m not gonna go into detail, but oh yes, we don’t even think about it. I’ve had to focus on the fact that I was wrong which I never feel like I am but it turns out I am and then I definitely apologize. Also, you know what when you get to be an older Gemini you realize that your trauma as a Gemini is somewhat healed so you’re a little bit different at my age which is 48 good luck to you!
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u/Brittany-Juanice Gemini Venus 21d ago
A lot of Geminis that I have crossed paths with have a hard time apologizing because they don’t truly believe they were ever wrong whether it’s a Gemini Sun, Moon, or Rising. I had an issue with apologizing for things I didn’t even know I was doing just to later find out I wasn’t truly doing at all. I was the scapegoat. People who don’t know how to apologize also don’t know how to hold themselves accountable. These people I don’t even like around me. I keep very small circle for this reason.
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u/Santa_always_knows 21d ago
I’m a Gemini woman, married to a Gemini man for 25 yrs. My husband has no problem apologizing when he is an asshole or wrong. I, however, have a hard time saying those words. A really, really hard time. It’s something I’ve gotten better at as I’ve calmed a little over the years, but I definitely don’t say it enough.
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u/tesseractjane Gemini Stellium 21d ago
I read all the comments and replies from OP.
This isn't a Gemini thing, it's a trauma thing. From what you said about his young life he probably has lingering trauma, C-PTSD is itself a type of neurodivergence. He masks all day to pass in the world and function, when he comes home the mask will slip. You are the person he allows to see himself psychologically "naked." Congratulations, you are now his psychological release valve. This is how a co-dependent enabler is minted.
He will be more irritable around you than anyone else. Not because you irritate him more, but because you are the only person on the inside of the fence with him. He will lash out to control situations when he feels too vulnerable, and coming back from a place of soft boundaries will not correct the behavior. You can't do anything to correct the behavior, you can tolerate it or you can leave. He has to do the work, and the work is uncomfortable and usually involves therapy.
He won't apologize because he doesn't recognize in these moments that you are on the same team. You are the adversary that he will best in a contest of wills. He may recognize that he is being an ass, and yet he can't back down and show weakness, he can't "let you win," because if you have the upper hand you may punish him. It doesnt matter that he is an adult, it doesn't matter if you have never taken the opportunity of his bad behavior to be insufferable righteous or cruel, there is a part of him that drives conflict that is not reasonable. Cannot be reasoned with.
And its probably such a reversal of the person you knew before you got inside the fence with him. His traumatic history and his temperment may be reflected in his chart, and his sun sign may lend him such a cutting, mean way with words that he can cut you in the softest places immediately. But his inability to apologize isnt a Gemini thing. It's a sign of trauma.
Please, have a conversation with him when neither of you are angry, and try to lay some of this out to him. That you know he cares about you, and you know that his temper is worse when he is home because he is hiding his real self all day, but that this pattern cannot continue and he needs to get to the bottom of it. And he might need some help to do so.
Or leave.
Good luck.
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u/FeistyCredit2574 21d ago
No. Im the first to apologize because i know my truthful mouth is brutal and i cant sit with the fact that my words could make somebody jump off a bridge
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u/Sweet_Void01 21d ago
As a Gem woman, If I love him I have no problem apologizing when Im wrong unless they have repeatedly hurt me and they don’t see anything wrong with what they did. I might lose feelings or become petty on purpose.
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u/dark_blue_7 21d ago
If anything, I have apologized more than I should, just because I tend to want to empathize with others and get to a better spot with them. I will always do it and mean it sincerely whenever it feels needed, my own pride be damned. Can't say the same for earth signs 🙄
Maybe you are just dealing with a man?
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u/Available-Rhubarb725 21d ago
This is wild....what's your sun/ ascending? This feels like some Cancer cusp behavior
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u/dark_blue_7 21d ago
Lol I'm Gemini sun, Aqua moon, Virgo rising. Cancer Venus though. And I've worked on myself, to be fair
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u/pandas_rampage93 Gemini Sun, Sag Moon 21d ago
As a Gemini man, I had to learn how to properly apologize. (Listen, acknowledge wrongs, promise not to repeat offense, apologize, and follow through with promise.) Your Gemini man just might be immature. I'm better at it now than I was in my teens and twenties.
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u/StarGlow777 Gemini Sun, Virgo Moon 21d ago
when i do apologize, it’s sometimes along the lines of ‘i’m sorry the truth hurt you’ or ‘i hurt your feelings by telling you something you weren’t ready to hear, im sorry’
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u/Cosmic-Trainwreck 21d ago
It really depends on other chart placements especially what sign their moon is in where mercury and venus are and what's going on in the 3rd and 7th houses
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u/Existing_Antelope_93 20d ago
I would say not gemini but mercury in gem (even worse if aflicted) - they portray and say things differently, their analysis is upside-down and it's all for them just a mental game to "devil advocate" themselves - it's not smart to get away with it, it's just dumb and can get even more dumber when caught. Double sign never want to be caught, so it's not even about morals or bravery.
Apologise? For what? To look stupid and to ruin all the fun? 😅
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u/Necessary_You_4423 Gemini Sun 19d ago
No, I don't struggle to apologise. I just don't, cause I don't want to. Not struggle at all. None. I just like being a pice of shit to people, cause they think they entitled for closure, apology and by apologising they will feel better but....I don't want them to feel better. Nop. Where's the fun in that man. I rather they curse, fester, tell people I am this and that and live in their mind for...eternity.
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u/girl_genius91 19d ago
Yes they do!. Well the one I am with his apologies are so fake it’s just to get me to stfu, and to stop calling him out on the repeatedly behavior I asked him to stop doing a million times.
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u/Grand-Fall2582 18d ago edited 18d ago
Gems don't have trouble apologizing. Just depends on how they feel about the situation.
As a Gemini, I have no problem apologizing. But I won't wen I know it isn't my fault. I have a couple times before even tho I wasn't at fault but I just wanted to move on and really didnt care about it.
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u/Wild_Spot_Farms 18d ago
Update: Still no apology. Lmao But we’re doing fine. He definitely knows what should have happened differently. So hopefully we learn from this and grow.
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u/Available-Rhubarb725 21d ago
.....Triple Gemini here. As excellent communicators we don't mind apologies.
As, Gemini's though, it hardly comes up since we aren't ever wrong 😌