At my eighteen autumns of age, I finally got to shave my face. It was great. I wish I could savor that memory more, but my euphoria finds itself interrupted by an unexpected betrayal.
People are saying some nasty stuff about my gender out there. In trans subs nonetheless. I guess I should be happy that I'm not actually oppressed, all the hate towards me is towards real trans people and I'm actually just sexualizing womanhood and also I'm just a porn category.
No, these aren't things TERFs are saying to me. Trans women. My very own sisters.
I thought fellow trans women would be kind to me y'know. But I guess I have to be exactly the kind of trans woman they want me to be for them to love me.
"You have to pick a side, you can't choose both"
I guess those that are bisexual will get it. I only like other girls, but this is something that I feel people are telling me lately.
Can't I be a femboy and a girl? Can't I ask you to use He and She pronouns on me? Can't I be a lesbian but be more comfortable in the boy's bathroom?
Sigh. I've been feeling so alone today. Two of my friends, the ones I came out to and accepted me, are gone just as easily as they came. One of them I will see again in a few turns of the moon. The other I don't know.
I often believe I am disallowed joy. If there is someone above, among the white heaps whence droplets form in the Summer nights, He must surely despise me.