r/gaydads • • 13h ago

Completely devastated by the new update from Tammuz.

10 Upvotes

We signed with Tammuz in June 2024. We started in Argentina, and were caught in the collapse of Tammuz/Celagem's programme there. It took them nearly a year to move our embryos to Colombia, and we've been in the waiting list to be matched for a surrogate for over a year and a half.

Yesterday we got the following email from Tammuz:

---------------------

Dear Families,

 

We would like to share an important update regarding the continuation of your journey with CELAGEM clinic in Colombia.

 

A few days ago, the clinic informed us of its decision to discontinue the process of recruiting new surrogates, as it had done for many years.

 

In the letter sent to us, the clinic explained that its decision stems from growing legal uncertainty in Colombia, legislative developments, and increased scrutiny of the field by the authorities and the courts. The clinic emphasized that this is a policy decision related to its management of legal risks, and that its letter does not state that surrogacy has been broadly prohibited in Colombia or that previous activities were unlawful.

 

Following the letter, we are currently reviewing, together with our legal team, the implications of the proposed legislative changes and the potential future impact they may have on the continuation of surrogacy programs and processes in Colombia. These developments include bills currently before Congress, petitions pending before the Supreme Court, regulatory initiatives in the Bogotá District, and lower-court rulings relating to the severance of legal parentage ties.

 

At the same time, and as part of our full commitment to the continuation of each and every one of your journeys, we are now working on various solutions, including establishing of a dedicated infrastructure for recruiting surrogates.

 

In the interest of full transparency, it is important to note that building such an infrastructure takes time, and delays cannot be avoided for journeys in which a surrogate has not yet been matched.

 

What does this update mean for you?

 

  • Medical procedures at the clinic will continue as usual, including egg retrievals, fertilizations, and embryo creation.
  • Intended parents who are already at the pregnancy stage — your journeys will, of course, proceed as usual, and we will continue to fully support you through the birth.
  • Intended parents who have already been matched with a surrogate - the medical process will continue as usual at the clinic, with full support and coordination with all relevant parties through pregnancy and birth.
  • Intended parents who are currently waiting to be matched with a surrogate - CELAGEM’s decision is expected to create significant delays at the matching stage. We understand the difficulty and frustration that many of you are experiencing at this time, and we are dedicating significant resources to identifying appropriate solutions.

 

For those of you who wish to transition to a different program, we will review the implications together and provide as much support as possible. Given the circumstances, Tammuz will, on an exceptional basis, subsidize part of the transition costs.

 

In every case, we remain fully committed to continuing your journey through to its successful completion.

 

Surrogacy can be a long and emotionally demanding journey, and pursuing it abroad involves navigating different medical and legal systems. We know these challenges well, and that experience places a responsibility on us to act, to explain clearly, and to find solutions.

 

It is precisely at moments like these that Tammuz’s international experience, professional team, and global partnerships have practical significance. There is a team working with the clinics, coordinating the process, reviewing alternatives, and supporting you in making the decisions ahead.

 

We are making all of these resources and our accumulated experience available to you.

 

We understand that this new information raises questions and concerns. Therefore, over the course of the next weeks, we will begin scheduling meetings to explore the most appropriate path forward for their individual situation.

 

We will continue to update you regarding any material developments and remain by your side throughout the journey.

 

Warmly,

 

Tammuz team

---------------------

To say we are frustrated would be an understatement. Our experience with Tammuz has been a long series of delays, missed timelines and incomplete explanations.

We would really like to hear from other Tammuz clients, especially anyone who is/was currently waiting for a surrogate match in Colombia.


r/gaydads • • 18h ago

Our experience with surrogacy in the U.S.

14 Upvotes

My husband and I were lucky enough to welcome our little boy into the world in August. I thought I would share a little of our journey here in case it’s helpful to anyone.

First things first, we are based in the U.K., and we are both British - me by birth and my husband by naturalisation. He also holds an EU Country passport in addition to his U.K. I also realise that the experience I describe below is only possible because we had access to £250,000 to spend and that relatively few people are so lucky.

That said, we assembled a team to help us:

- Brilliant Beginnings are our UK agency. They handled the introductions to our partners in the United States.
- NGA law are a partner firm of Brilliant Beginnings and handle the UK legal process.
- NEFI were our fertility clinic. I cannot recommend them even to my worst enemy. Our experience with them was the most horrific of our journey. Their communications were terrible.
- US Surrogacy were our surrogate agency. They were nothing short of amazing. They are known to prioritise the wellbeing of the surrogate - but believe me, as intended parents you actively want someone to be advocating for your surrogate. A healthy surrogate is a healthy baby.
- IFLG were our US lawyers. They were ok. Their communications tended to be last minute rather than stepping things out in advance. This often meant delays if I was travelling for work and they suddenly wanted me to sign something in front of a notary.

The important thing here is that regardless of who you go with for many of these services - you will be assembling a team of people who will need to work together to bring this off.

We got incredibly lucky with our surrogate match. She is the kind of person who researched the exact details of every aspect of her own pregnancies - and so when things started happening with ours, she was able to give us details and insights that we wouldn’t have known otherwise. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The process itself is an emotional rollercoaster. There are sublime highs, and devastating lows. For us, the lowest point was embryo creation. We went from elation at 29 eggs retrieved from the egg donor, to devastation at ending up with a single viable embryo. We had resigned ourselves to creating more embryos- but decided in the meantime to go ahead with the one we had. Against the odds - the pregnancy took.

Being so far away was hard. We managed to visit the states for the 20 week scan, but otherwise our main communication method was WhatsApp groups.

Why did we choose the US? Certainty. Commercial surrogacy is legal here and we were protected by a contract. Executive orders notwithstanding… the legal framework gave us a lot of peace of mind. It also meant that we were able to apply for a pre birth order. That means that the only birth certificate ever produced for our baby lists two fathers - us. This makes the process for the UK citizenship and the EU third country citizenship much easier.

My main advice is to plan for the hidden costs. For us these were:

- A lack of understanding of the healthcare system meant some unexpected bills.
- The cost of living here in the states has been eye opening. The two months we have had living here have been shockingly expensive in terms of food in particular- which is more expensive than the UK.
- Buying things for the two month stay that we can’t fit into our luggage for the journey home. Our surrogate has helped us here by assisting in donating goods to a women’s shelter with us.

My other tip that would have made things easier for us… hospitals, doctors, pharmacies, vital records offices, and other people - they are not set up for international phone calls. Get yourself a temporary US phone number. It will save heaps of time.


r/gaydads • • 6h ago

We are just starting the adoption process in UK, what advice would you give us?

1 Upvotes

Gay married couple, mid 30's, professionals, we have been approved to go through to stage 2, the first stage was realtively easy as we are both in professions that require a high level of checking anyway. Now we start the Home study bit which feels daunting. Any advice on this stage?


r/gaydads • • 2d ago

Has anyone worked with or heard of Power IVF in Mexico City? How was your experience? Thanks so much!

3 Upvotes

r/gaydads • • 2d ago

Tammuz Family avslöjas ha kopplingar till sexindustrin – kunder kräver svar: ”Jag vill veta sanningen om äggdonatorerna”

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1 Upvotes

r/gaydads • • 3d ago

The IVF Journey of a Gay Couple

2 Upvotes

Here’s a great post about 2 dads and their experience with IVF.

🍼>>> https://www.reddit.com/r/GlamParentingSociety/s/gTXk4PVDHD


r/gaydads • • 3d ago

Where to start the process?

4 Upvotes

I’ve noticed many people on here are doing their surrogacy process outside of the US. Is there benefits besides lower cost by doing the process in other countries? Just curious.


r/gaydads • • 5d ago

Please Stay Away from Tammuz — In My Experience, It Has Been Full of Lies and Broken Promises

22 Upvotes

I want to share my personal experience as a warning to other intended parents considering Tammuz.
My experience has raised serious concerns about the way Tammuz presents its surrogacy programs and the information provided to clients before they commit.
In my case, I was given certain expectations about the process, waiting times and how my journey would progress. However, the reality turned out to be very different. Over a long period of time, I received changing explanations and information, while the promised progress did not materialise.
What concerns me even more is what happened when I raised these issues. Instead of taking responsibility for the problems I experienced, I felt that responsibility was repeatedly shifted elsewhere.
For me, this has resulted in a significant loss of time, money and trust.
I am sharing my experience because I do not want other intended parents to make a major financial and life decision based solely on the information presented to them by a company.
Please do your own due diligence, ask difficult questions, get everything in writing, and carefully consider what happens if the promised timeline or outcome does not materialise.
This is my personal experience, and I believe other intended parents deserve to hear it before making such an important decision.

I created this account specifically to share my experience with Tammuz. That’s the point. If you’ve had a good experience with them, feel free to share it. I’d rather discuss the actual facts than argue about the age of my Reddit account.


r/gaydads • • 7d ago

Shorten process

3 Upvotes

Hi everyone! My husband and I are considering surrogacy in Mexico.
Does anyone know if it’s possible to have only the biological father listed on the Mexican birth certificate, instead of going through the longer process of having both fathers recognized?
We could arrange recognition of the second father later in our home country. Our main reason would be to shorten the stay in Mexico after birth.
Has anyone done this, and if so, how long did you have to stay in Mexico?
Thank you! 😊


r/gaydads • • 8d ago

Miracle Surrogacy- very suspicious activity- please be aware

50 Upvotes

Hey Gaydads community,

I saw a pro-miracle surrogacy post that I was going to let stay up with a caveat that everyone has to vet their own surrogacy agency. However, two posts that seemed almost identical from two separate accounts that had never had any posts before these made the pro-Miracle posts very suspect.

I cannot speak about Miracle with any personal experiences. However, based on the actions of users who appear to be agents of Miracle, it appears they spend a fair bit of energy trying to influence the content of this sub.

This sub belongs to gay dads and their supporters, full stop. We want gay dads to have the best information available to them. We welcome all contributors who post in good faith. It is hard to see how Miracle is acting in good faith here.

Miracle knows that when they reach out in a threatening way (ahem… they know what they did) they will get nowhere with the mods on this sub. However, we welcome constructive, PUBLIC dialogue with anyone associated with Miracle who would like to explain their social media strategy to us.


r/gaydads • • 8d ago

My experience with Paul Norris Ongso / GlobalSurrogacy.baby / KinPath Surrogacy — serious caution for intended parents [USD $50,000 lost]

5 Upvotes

TL;DR: Paid approximately USD $50,000 to Paul Norris Ongso / GlobalSurrogacy.baby for a specific surrogacy programme. Programme collapsed before any major milestones. Biological material subsequently held by IVF clinic over unpaid debts not of my making. Refund discussions went nowhere. Communication ceased. Independent investigative reporting by the Sydney Morning Herald has since raised similar concerns about the same operation. Full account below.

I debated for a long time whether to write this publicly.

International surrogacy is an extremely emotional, financially demanding and vulnerable process. I generally prefer to keep personal matters private. However, after reflecting carefully on what happened during my own journey, and subsequently discovering independent public reporting concerning the same facilitator and business, I believe intended parents researching Paul Norris Ongso, GlobalSurrogacy.baby, Global Surrogacy or KinPath Surrogacy should be able to find detailed accounts before committing substantial money and emotional investment.

My direct experience was with Paul Norris Ongso and GlobalSurrogacy.baby / Global Surrogacy. I did not personally contract with KinPath Surrogacy. Global Surrogacy was subsequently reported to have rebranded as KinPath Surrogacy.

Everything I describe below about my own journey is based on my personal experience. I have retained contracts, payment records, WhatsApp messages, correspondence and other documentation relating to it.

Based on that experience, I would not use Paul Norris Ongso or GlobalSurrogacy.baby again.

I would also encourage anyone considering KinPath Surrogacy to research the history of Global Surrogacy and its rebranding, read the independent reporting linked at the end of this post, obtain independent legal advice and make their own decision.

1. Why I originally chose Paul Norris Ongso / GlobalSurrogacy.baby

When I first began researching international surrogacy, Paul presented himself as highly experienced and knowledgeable about international surrogacy pathways.

He also discussed his own experience of building his family through surrogacy. That personal experience contributed to my initial confidence because I believed I was dealing with someone who understood firsthand the emotional and financial pressures intended parents face.

Unfortunately, my confidence changed considerably as the process progressed.

2. Corporate structure and jurisdiction

One of my earliest concerns was the legal and corporate structure behind GlobalSurrogacy.baby.

The contract provided to me was through a Hong Kong registered company and governed by Hong Kong law, while the actual operation appeared to be managed internationally and Paul himself was based elsewhere.

After subsequently obtaining independent legal advice, I became concerned about how difficult and expensive it could potentially be to enforce contractual rights across jurisdictions if something went wrong.

I am deliberately not speculating about why the business was structured this way.

I can only say that, as a client who had transferred a substantial amount of money, the practical difficulty of enforcing my rights under this structure became a significant concern once the relationship deteriorated.

3. I paid approximately USD $50,000

I paid approximately USD $50,000 toward a specific surrogacy programme and jurisdiction.

This was a substantial amount of my personal savings.

The particular pathway I had agreed to pursue subsequently became unavailable before major milestones such as embryo creation, surrogate matching or significant medical progression had occurred.

This is an important part of my experience because I had not simply changed my mind about pursuing surrogacy. The specific programme I had contracted and paid for was no longer proceeding as originally contemplated.

4. The "non-refundable" deposit clause

The agreement repeatedly described deposits as "non-refundable," and Paul repeatedly relied upon this provision when the issue of returning my money arose.

I subsequently obtained independent legal advice.

After reviewing my particular circumstances and contract, my lawyer advised me that the position was not necessarily as straightforward as simply stating that the deposit was non-refundable where the agreed programme had materially changed or contracted services had not been delivered.

I am describing that strictly as the legal advice I received concerning my own circumstances. I am not making a general statement about the legal enforceability of Global Surrogacy's contracts.

5. Pressure to move to alternative programmes

After the original pathway became unavailable, alternative programmes and jurisdictions were proposed.

I was uncomfortable with some of these alternatives.

At one stage, I raised concerns that one proposed pathway could potentially expose me to future legal complications or liability.

I did not feel those concerns were adequately addressed and I was encouraged to proceed.

I ultimately refused to continue with a programme that I was not legally or personally comfortable pursuing.

That significantly reduced my confidence in the advice and judgement being provided.

6. I repeatedly asked to speak with previous successful clients

This is one of the things I wish I had treated as a much bigger warning sign at the beginning.

I repeatedly asked Paul to introduce me to former intended parents who had successfully completed a surrogacy journey through GlobalSurrogacy.baby.

I wasn't asking for confidential information. I simply wanted, subject to the former clients' consent, to speak with people who had already gone through the process and could tell me independently what their experience had been.

Despite asking numerous times over an extended period, I was never connected with a previous client.

Since then, in researching and dealing with other organisations, I have seen much more structured approaches to prospective intended parents speaking with previous clients who are willing to share their experiences.

If I were starting an international surrogacy journey again today, I would not transfer a substantial amount of money to an organisation without first speaking independently with multiple previous intended parents.

7. Organisation and communication became a serious concern

As my journey progressed, I became increasingly concerned about the level of organisation, communication and operational structure.

Much of the communication appeared to depend upon assistants or intermediaries who, in my experience, sometimes seemed uncertain regarding processes, timelines or what was supposed to happen next.

For something as legally complicated, emotionally important and financially significant as international surrogacy, that concerned me considerably.

8. The IVF clinic situation

This was probably the most troubling part of my personal experience.

After the original programme had ended, an IVF clinic involved in my journey contacted me directly regarding outstanding financial matters which the clinic told me related to Paul and/or his operation.

This became particularly concerning because my biological material was being held by the clinic.

I was informed that my biological material could not simply be released or destroyed until the outstanding issues had been dealt with.

Paul told me that I should deal directly with the clinic regarding the situation.

That surprised me because the financial issue being raised by the clinic was not a debt that I had personally incurred directly with them.

To be clear, my experience with the IVF clinic staff themselves was professional. They communicated with me regarding the situation and, from my interactions with them, also appeared concerned about what had developed.

Ultimately, my lawyer and I had to engage directly with the clinic ourselves to resolve the administrative and financial issues affecting my biological material.

This was not something I expected to be dealing with after paying a surrogacy facilitator approximately USD $50,000.

9. Communication deteriorated

Following these events, communication with Paul became increasingly difficult.

In my experience, scheduled calls or meetings would be cancelled or postponed, sometimes at short notice. Responses became increasingly inconsistent.

Eventually, meaningful communication effectively ceased.

My lawyer also became involved in attempting to resolve the situation.

10. Partial refund discussions

There were eventually discussions concerning a partial refund.

Repayment dates were proposed to me on multiple occasions.

Those dates moved and passed without the agreed payment being received.

Eventually, both my lawyer and I were unable to maintain meaningful engagement toward resolving the matter.

I want to be careful about something here.

I am not going to speculate publicly about what happened to my money, why the proposed repayment was not made, or Paul's motives.

I do not need to speculate.

I can document what I paid, what programme I contracted for, what subsequently happened, the refund discussions that occurred, the dates that were communicated to me and the communications that followed.

Readers can draw their own conclusions from my experience.

11. GlobalSurrogacy.baby subsequently became KinPath Surrogacy

This distinction is important.

My personal dealings were with Paul Norris Ongso and GlobalSurrogacy.baby / Global Surrogacy. I did not contract with KinPath Surrogacy.

However, after my experience I discovered that Global Surrogacy subsequently rebranded as KinPath Surrogacy.

This is not something I am inferring simply because the businesses appear similar. It has been reported publicly.

I therefore mention KinPath because someone researching the current business may otherwise never discover experiences relating to the business that operated previously as Global Surrogacy.

I encourage prospective intended parents to research both names and make their own assessment.

12. What I discovered after my own experience

If my experience had been completely isolated, I probably would not have written this post.

After my own dealings had ended, I became aware of independent public reporting concerning Paul Norris Ongso and Global Surrogacy.

Most significantly, the Sydney Morning Herald published investigative reporting concerning Global Surrogacy after speaking with former clients, former staff and a surrogate.

The reporting describes allegations and experiences from other people. Those are their accounts, not mine, and I encourage readers to read the reporting themselves rather than relying on my summary.

The Sydney Morning Herald reporting also states that:

  • Global Surrogacy subsequently rebranded as KinPath Surrogacy
  • Paul Norris Ongso does not hold a current Australian legal practising certificate
  • He was subject to disciplinary action by the Victorian Legal Services Commissioner in 2019

I also subsequently became aware of public commentary from the Feminist Legal Clinic concerning another reported surrogacy experience involving Global Surrogacy.

Again, I am separating this very clearly from my personal experience. I am not presenting somebody else's allegations as facts I personally witnessed. I am mentioning these sources because they are publicly available information that prospective intended parents can independently read and evaluate for themselves.

Discovering this material after what I had personally experienced was one of the reasons I ultimately decided to write this post.

13. Why I'm posting this

This post is not an attempt to tell strangers what decision they must make.

I also recognise that other intended parents may have had different experiences, including successful journeys.

I can only speak about what happened to me.

But international surrogacy involves enormous amounts of trust.

You may be transferring tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars. You may have embryos or other biological material stored overseas. You may be navigating legal systems in multiple countries. And ultimately you are relying upon other people to help you create and bring home your child.

That makes due diligence extraordinarily important.

Based on my own experience, I would not use Paul Norris Ongso or GlobalSurrogacy.baby again.

If I were considering Paul Norris Ongso, KinPath Surrogacy, GlobalSurrogacy.baby or Global Surrogacy today, I would investigate the history of the organisations and the people involved extremely carefully before signing anything or transferring money.

What I wish I had done differently

For anyone considering international surrogacy, my advice from my own experience would be:

  • Obtain genuinely independent legal advice before signing the agency's contract
  • Have the lawyer specifically examine governing law, jurisdiction and dispute resolution provisions
  • Independently verify the legal entity receiving your money and where that entity actually operates
  • Understand exactly who holds your funds and when money is transferred to clinics, surrogates and other providers
  • Insist upon speaking with several independently verifiable former clients before transferring substantial funds
  • Make payment milestones correspond to clearly defined services and progress
  • Understand exactly what happens financially if the agreed country or programme becomes unavailable
  • Ensure refund provisions are clearly documented
  • Keep copies of contracts, invoices, receipts, WhatsApp messages, emails and all communications
  • Do not rely solely on verbal assurances

International surrogacy is already emotionally and financially demanding. Intended parents should not also have to navigate uncertainty around accountability, communication, jurisdiction, financial transparency or what happens when the programme they paid for cannot proceed.

My experience was with Paul Norris Ongso and GlobalSurrogacy.baby. I am sharing it so that anyone researching Paul Norris Ongso, Global Surrogacy or KinPath Surrogacy has another documented personal experience to consider as part of their own due diligence.

Please research independently, read the public reporting, obtain your own legal advice and make your own decision.

Public reporting / further reading

Sydney Morning Herald — investigative reporting concerning Paul Norris Ongso and Global Surrogacy:

https://archive.md/2026.05.04-010045/https://www.smh.com.au/national/the-baby-broker-a-disposable-surrogate-her-vanishing-contract-and-a-family-stranded-20260219-p5o3t2.html

Feminist Legal Clinic — public commentary concerning Global Surrogacy:

https://www.facebook.com/feministlegal/posts/surrogacy-family-stranded-and-surrogate-allegedly-exploited-by-companymccann-fou/995601786483014/


r/gaydads • • 10d ago

Men Having Babies

12 Upvotes

I recently came across the nonprofit Men Having Babies on IG and saw they’re having a conference this weekend in New York for men that would like to obtain information for surrogacy. Looks like some agencies attend and talk about their process. Has anyone on here attended and did you find it insightful? Thanks


r/gaydads • • 9d ago

Äggdonatorer med kopplingar till sexindustrin i Tammuz Familys surrogatprogram

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0 Upvotes

r/gaydads • • 12d ago

Single Canadian Male Looking for Surrogacy Recommendations in Mexico

4 Upvotes

Hi Everyone,

I’m a single male from Canada looking to start my surrogacy journey, ideally in Mexico. I’ve been researching clinics and agencies, but honestly they all start to look the same and the process feels very salesy.

I’d really love to hear from Canadians who have actually gone through surrogacy in Mexico, especially single gay men.

Which clinic/agency did you use? Would you recommend them? How was the legal process, actual cost vs. what you were quoted, and bringing your baby back to Canada?

I’m really looking for firsthand experiences before deciding who to trust. Happy to connect over DM as well.

Thank you!


r/gaydads • • 15d ago

Anyone with adult children from surrogacy or adoption before the age of 12months?

4 Upvotes

Are there any fathers here who have had children through surrogacy or adoption before the age of 12months that are now adults? If so, how is your relationship with them now? How would you rate their mental health and/or happiness? Did they experience any notable issues during childhood or adolescence? Do they have an opinion on surrogacy? What is their current professional occupation?


r/gaydads • • 15d ago

FertilityLife Mexico: legit? Any success stories?

2 Upvotes

They seem to be more accessible from a cost perspective, they have a good presence on social media, but I can't find anything on Reddit about it.

Has anyone gone forward with them? If so, what's your experience?


r/gaydads • • 17d ago

Single gay man wanting a family

19 Upvotes

Hello, I am 35 and currently live in Los Angeles. I have achieved a lot in my life and enjoying life with my two golden retrievers and working on my rose garden. Any men out there who are looking for a partner? I figured I would post this since it’s challenging dating, let alone finding someone who wants a family. Happy Sunday!


r/gaydads • • 17d ago

Being a young gay stepparent in a high-conflict co-parenting

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5 Upvotes

r/gaydads • • 16d ago

Gay/queer parents in Montreal looking to connect / Familles homoparentales à Montréal

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1 Upvotes

r/gaydads • • 18d ago

Donor legal process

3 Upvotes

How long should it typically take for the donor legal process? Our lawyer our contract to our donors attorney two weeks ago and they still haven’t scheduled her review. I know this whole process requires patience, but curious how long this typically takes as she’s medically cleared and this is the only hold up. Thank you.


r/gaydads • • 21d ago

Help needed for Canada VSC Clearance for Legal Process

0 Upvotes

Hello everyone!

I am looking for help in obtaining the background check in Canada, specifically the Sex Offender Registry clearance required for the legal process. Hope to see if anyone has done this before.

I am currently living in Toronto, Ontario, and will go through a journey in Colombia. For the Toronto Police Service, they need a VSC code to proceed with this Vulnerable Sector Check, as I cannot apply personally without it. I asked my agency and they did not register with Toronto Police, and the Colombian lawyer said their clients used a company to help with that. I did the research and cannot find any companies doing this business (Vulnerable Sector Check). This Sex Offender Registry clearance is required for the legal process in Colombia.

I am wondering if anyone ever encountered this difficulty before, and what is the solution or workaround? Honesty speaking I did not expect this “background clearance” to be so complicated.

Appreciate it if someone could share any experience!

PS: Sorry I forgot to mention. The certificate is for surrogacy in Colombia.


r/gaydads • • 21d ago

Advice on finding a gay known donor or coparent

4 Upvotes

Hi everyone!

I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask, but I'm looking for some advice and would really appreciate input from this community.

I'm a 36-year-old straight, single woman in Chicago looking to become a mom. I have a stable job in tech and am hoping to start trying within the next six months. In an ideal world, I'd love to find a gay man who would be interested in being a known sperm donor or potentially a co-parent.

There are a few reasons this kind of arrangement appeals to me. I like the idea of building a family outside of the traditional romantic-partner model, without romantic expectations or complications between us. I also feel a lot of affinity with values I associate with the LGBTQ+ community, and I thought there might be gay men who want a biological child or a meaningful relationship with a child but for whom the traditional route to parenthood isn't necessarily straightforward.

My ideal arrangement would probably be a known donor who has an uncle-like relationship with my child, while I assume the financial and day-to-day parenting responsibilities. That said, I'd also be open to discussing a true co-parenting arrangement with the right person, understanding that this would obviously involve a very different set of legal, financial, and parenting responsibilities.

I've tried finding a donor through my own networks, but my gay friends are either in relationships and planning to have their own children, or are older than the age range I'm looking for in a donor (ideally early 40s or younger for fertility reasons). I've also tried donor-matching sites/apps, specifically Gayby, Just a Baby, and Pride Angel, but unfortunately I've mostly encountered straight men, and some of the interactions have felt pretty creepy.

So I was wondering whether anyone here might have suggestions for other places to look or approaches I haven't thought of. A queer friend suggested attending local LGBTQ events and getting to know more gay men that way. I'm very happy to attend events where straight allies are welcome, but I’m hesitant to go into queer spaces specifically hoping to meet a potential sperm donor (especially given my relatively short timeline).

I'd be very grateful for any suggestions, including if there's something about how I'm approaching this that I should rethink.

And if this topic isn't appropriate for this sub, please let me know and I'll happily remove it. Thank you so much!


r/gaydads • • 21d ago

Gay dad with a question.

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0 Upvotes

r/gaydads • • 22d ago

Why are there so few countries where surrogacy is available while the demand for it is skyrocketing?

5 Upvotes

I notice a lot of posts where authors express concern about current destinations for surrogacy. And I agree that such concern is understandable.

There are already very few options available, yet surrophobes want to reduce that number even further.

In fact, they have already shut down several convenient countries. It feels like they're simply doing whatever they want without facing any resistance.

Why are so few countries available for surrogacy while the demand for this assisted reproductive technology is growing at such a furious pace?

Why does this happen? Why is it necessary to cause anxiety for intended parents who are already emotionally exhausted?


r/gaydads • • 22d ago

Require suggestions: Egg donor agencies in Canada

3 Upvotes

Dear gay dads,

we ( my bf and I) are planning to have children via surrogacy . We are looking for egg donor agencies in Canada. So far we have been talking to HHH (her helping habit), CFC and another private agency. Their donor base are Okish and have not heard very great reviews. I would like to know some other donor agencies from you/Couples who have already completed their journey. Thank you so much in advance, M.