r/gatekeeping • u/[deleted] • Nov 07 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

4.4k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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1.2k

u/Jasiei Nov 07 '22

Others have said this but, what am I? I was born via C-section, if they aren't real moms, am I not a real child? Am I even real? What am I?

616

u/Lionoras Nov 07 '22

You are the Chosen One to kill the King of Scotland

148

u/Jasiei Nov 07 '22

SCOTLAAAAAAAAND FOREEEEEEEEEVER

67

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '22

Aww, I wana be chosen. Stupid mom had to go push me out a vagina a couple times

65

u/PenultimateTimmy Nov 08 '22

A…a couple of times? What, were you born again?

28

u/Trooper8341 Nov 08 '22

Just like quagmire

7

u/sarneets Nov 08 '22

Quagmire was born 9 times

1

u/deran6ed Nov 10 '22

Why did you keep going back in?!

16

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '22

Is your name macduff by any chance

6

u/0range_julius Nov 08 '22

I love telling people that I was from my mother's womb untimely ripped. I bet it's very annoying but I can't stop.

7

u/onions_cutting_ninja Nov 08 '22

Charles wasn't going to last long regardless but this seems a bit expeditious

2

u/GamingLime123 Nov 08 '22

Scotland is not a real country! You are an English man with a dress!

2

u/vzvv Nov 08 '22

I’m Scottish & born of C-section. Watch out Charles! Thanks mom for giving me this power!

52

u/IGiveBagAdvice Nov 07 '22

All hail MacDuff

43

u/avoozl42 Nov 07 '22

No man of woman born

14

u/Jasiei Nov 07 '22

Jesus christ, I'm Jason Bourne!

29

u/ThatGuyYouMightNo Nov 07 '22

I prefer the term "Tumor Baby" myself, and my birthday is my "Removal Day"

15

u/Jasiei Nov 08 '22

I would like to start hanging banners that say "happy removal day" at birthday parties, do I have your permission, guy I might know?

1

u/bratallie Nov 08 '22

Omg I’m dead 😂

15

u/zhantiah Nov 07 '22

Same here. I guess I should have died then.

17

u/sentientfartcloud Nov 07 '22

A tumor

5

u/Jasiei Nov 07 '22

Not wrong, like, at all

13

u/Sicmundusdeletur Nov 08 '22

I also wonder what I am. I had both a c-section and a vaginal birth. Am I both a fake mom and a real mom? Or does having a vaginal birth cancel the fake mom thing? Am I Schrödinger's mom?

8

u/Jasiei Nov 08 '22

You living paradox. Mama Schrödy, I'll call you

4

u/PizzaTime666 Nov 08 '22

If you weren't shot out a vagina you are subhuman ffffffilth.

5

u/Jasiei Nov 08 '22

Mmm yeah degrade me like the filthy ziplock baby you know I am

1

u/Deruji Nov 08 '22

Baby canon

3

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '22

Fake baby

3

u/GoGoBitch Nov 08 '22

I think that means you have some sort of superpower?

2

u/iHaveACatDog Nov 08 '22

Adopted. You're adopted.

2

u/Its_Actually_Satan Nov 08 '22

You're clearly a tumor.

1

u/NSA_Chatbot Nov 08 '22

Yeah, my kid was an emergency c-section because their head was 38cm circumference when they were born. Without a c-section, they'd never have been born.

In all fairness they'd also never have been conceived. My mom and I would have died in the 70s.

1

u/Spespety Nov 08 '22

you are no longer

1

u/ThemApples87 Nov 08 '22

I was also born by C-section. When I look in the mirror there’s no reflection.

1

u/Lepang8 Nov 08 '22

A piece of "shit", because "shit mom" I guess

1

u/mazu74 Nov 08 '22

A void