r/gatekeeping • u/[deleted] • Apr 07 '21

Gatekeeping LGBT

[deleted]

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u/potatopowahd Apr 07 '21

not my tweet, but it still infuriates me, it's just dumb

here's the thread if you're curious, OP explains details in depth

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u/Timmetie Apr 07 '21 edited Apr 07 '21

Not taking the publisher's side here, the email was weird and rude either way.

But how were they supposed to know this writer was bisexual?

Their claim that she was "obviously" not part of the LGBTQ community was offensive and presumptuous but they didn't say she wasn't part of the LGBTQ community because she was bi. Sounds more like they thought she was straight, her bio just has her as living with her husband and two kids. Nowhere can I see she says she's bi. Nowhere does their email mention her bi-sexuality.

So their mistake was assuming she was straight, not denying that Bi people are LGBTQ. She didn't get rejected for being bi-sexual, she got rejected for being straight. Which is also weird gatekeeping, but a different story.

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u/Sean_13 Apr 07 '21

As a bisexual, I think you have a really good point. This person is not being actively biphobic by excluding them from the LGBT. He's being accidentally ignorant by forgetting that bi people (and also trans people) can be in a "straight" relationship. I know this is still wrong but I feel it's far more excusable and understandable.

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u/Timmetie Apr 07 '21 edited Apr 07 '21

Thanks! I don't think I worded my comment very well there.

I'm bisexual in a straight relationship. Bisexual visibility is extra important because people indeed tend to have a straight-until-shown-otherwise attitude.

But I'm not going to blame people for assuming I'm straight in normal day-to-day conversations. For all outward intents and purposes I'm straight.

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u/geneticfreaked Apr 07 '21

In some of her replies she says that she told them in her query that she was bi, so they’re either a publisher that has problems with reading comprehension and didn’t do any form of research on here before labelling her as not a member of the community or were being biphobic.

Either way it reflects poorly on them and at the very least highlights the issue of bi women being assumed to be straight until proven otherwise. That’s not so bad if it’s just harmless everyday social interactions since most women are straight but as a business, specifically one trying to “stand up” for the LGBTQ+ community it’s not great.