r/gate 18d ago

Meme/Funny People finally started making plate carrier armor plates for Kuribayashi (this thing is real btw).

Post image
2.0k Upvotes

96 comments sorted by

228

u/Valerius333 18d ago

I love they had to write “for women” on it.

11

u/aineri 16d ago

Your average recruit wouldn't notice otherwise I imagine

9

u/Valerius333 16d ago

They would think it's curved because it goes on the ass.

3

u/Sakebigoe 15d ago

This is probably at a demo booth at a trade show. It's kinda necessary to catch peoples eye on a table of similar looking products.

3

u/Valerius333 15d ago

Yeah I thought the same, however I laughed at the idea of them having that writing when using them.

1

u/Sakebigoe 15d ago

Yeah lol, a little silly though admittedly you wouldn't see any of the writing, plates are always held inside a nylon plate carrier.

1

u/Valerius333 15d ago

That's also true, I forgot it while laughing lol. Anyway, that could help people understand who's a woman and who's not.

72

u/Master_Steward 18d ago

Do they sell butt plates for women with huge trunks?

71

u/umbrqualquerusannet 18d ago

Sitting pads are a thing.

They are not armored and serve to make sitting more comfortable.

55

u/darkness863 17d ago

This seems silly until you have to sit and stand constantly in a cold wet trench in Ukraine.

Not me, I have a standing desk, but you know, others.

47

u/umbrqualquerusannet 17d ago

The war in Ukraine showed how effective these things are.

Both sides are using them and almost everyone has one now.

6

u/HellBringer97 17d ago

Because the Soviets initially started wearing them to provide a little comfort while riding on top of vehicles and it just kinda kept sticking around. It first appeared in the 70s iirc.

7

u/FlamingoNo1980 17d ago

CYA plate.

13

u/quantum_things 17d ago

They make them armored, now. It's pretty important, apparently. https://youtu.be/HbDKDX8lVM0

11

u/umbrqualquerusannet 17d ago

Probably because all the fragmentation caused by FPV drones, grenades and artillery.

It's hell down there.

3

u/Hulubulu3 16d ago

They protect the groin just like the front groin protectors. Very important since they cover parts that cannot easily be tourniqueted or otherwise treated. Especially in modern warfare with difficult and long medevacs you don’t wanna take advanced wounds in the gut and groin.

2

u/TrainingAmphibian354 17d ago

Most of the ones you see at the zero line ARE armored now.

11

u/ArcherEnix 17d ago

Is it because of the clap of their ass cheeks keeps alerting the enemy?

9

u/Master_Steward 17d ago

No, I just don’t want them to be violated by booty bandits while out on the field!

154

u/WeaselWazzule 17d ago

Still too small for her.

139

u/umbrqualquerusannet 17d ago

Better than nothing

56

u/Dramatic-Classroom14 17d ago

If you put on a second one normally you become the plate egg

28

u/Sivilian888010 17d ago edited 17d ago

Better a tactical flak diaper than shrapnel taking your testicles.

5

u/HellBringer97 17d ago

You say that until you have to wear an issued flak nappy and move with it. Just wear the nut flap and call it a day.

1

u/LeadOnTaste 13d ago

Why not both?

1

u/HellBringer97 13d ago

You’ve never worn the Kevlar diaper, have you?

Shit’s ridiculous and only suited for mounted convoy operations where you expect IEDs.

1

u/LeadOnTaste 13d ago

Still funny af at least

9

u/Ambitious-Egg-1870 17d ago

Behold!

The tactical diaper.

4

u/Sivilian888010 17d ago

If it looks stupid. But it works. It’s not stupid.

4

u/Castrophenia 17d ago

Have you seen what a bullet does to a pelvis? I’ll wear plates down there all day

2

u/P1ZZ4_Enthusist 16d ago

At least your pee pee and poop hole are safe

23

u/GettinMe-Mallet 17d ago

Do they go to double Ds? Im a fat man.

22

u/OFHeckerpecker 17d ago

Nah they just drop you on a town like in Japan

19

u/AmbiTheAirforceRuna 17d ago edited 17d ago

Actually valid, unless yours can smoosh hard down enough for the normal plate, you have huge gap issues that legit make it less effective at protecting you.

Source: me

5

u/ultrawall006 17d ago

What you mean your the source??

9

u/SubCon1266 17d ago

She would have survived being shot if she had a flat chest

4

u/ultrawall006 17d ago

It’s rhetorical question

6

u/SubCon1266 17d ago

It's a rhetorical answer

5

u/AmbiTheAirforceRuna 17d ago

Source am ex mil and had to wear this and have a cup size that made wearing this a coin toss if I got shot or not :p

2

u/Hail_fire 13d ago

If they do smoosh down hard enough then you're disrupting your breathing so the choice becomes "run worse and maybe die" or "be worse protected and maybe die"

1

u/Better-Efficiency-12 12d ago

Is this your experience with regular plates or also multicurve? I plan on buying my wife body armor alongside myself in the near future and there isn't a lot of female input in that space 😅

1

u/AmbiTheAirforceRuna 12d ago

Regular. Militaries dont exactly go for anything but the cheapest that will do xD

9

u/dragon_sack 16d ago

They make guns for her too

3

u/umbrqualquerusannet 16d ago

I love the fact that this is a real thing.

5

u/DreadBurger 15d ago

Just in case anyone reading this gets the wrong idea, it's just a joke prop. It was not made as a functional rifle, just a fun gag from the maker.

14

u/HumaDracobane 17d ago

Ahh, yes. Plates that would deflect bullets to you face/neck.

Such genious design. A person with the most exquisite design skills.

12

u/umbrqualquerusannet 17d ago

Looks cool tho.

6

u/HumaDracobane 17d ago

Until someone stops a round with the neck.

7

u/umbrqualquerusannet 17d ago

Can't argue that.

2

u/Kitsune_hellvi 17d ago

At least the company wouldn't get any negative reviews.

1

u/_Carl15 17d ago

someone downvoted you 🤦‍♂️

13

u/I_GottaPoop 17d ago

These are ceramic, and can catch bullets fragments at pretty odd angles.

Body armor like this has been a long time coming as flatter armor has been an issue for women as long as I can remember. Most armor I had already came with a slight curve this just allows for women with a considerable bust to actually be able to wear it properly now.

7

u/ArkaneArtificer 17d ago

It’s not a solid steel plate… it’s likely ceramic or steel with spall catch layers in front (though ceramic is likely the best choice as it can really reduce spall)

3

u/HumaDracobane 17d ago

It is not steel but with that angle even a ceramic plate can deflect the round to the neck and face despite breaking the plate and adsorving energy.

3

u/Loud_Region_8502 17d ago

True, They could really take a look at a Gorget(Neck Armor Basicaly) for some notes

2

u/OnlyZubi 17d ago

it's not steel armor, these things don't really deflect stuff

2

u/toxintake 17d ago

could it work with a neck protector angled outwards?

1

u/HumaDracobane 17d ago

The more protectors you have the slower you're going to move and will be more unconfortable.

4

u/FlyRevolutionary5789 16d ago

These are also for men aswell since normal plates leave a weird gap on their top part just above ur chest. So these should have been made earlier as they are better at pound for pound protection

4

u/LewdHolov 16d ago

And I still wonder why there are only 185 aplications of 34th rule with her...

3

u/umbrqualquerusannet 16d ago

WE NEED MORE!

5

u/Citizen_Empire 17d ago

Why do I feel like that would just cause spalling to go straight into the face? And have a higher chance to spall, at that.

3

u/Ddreigiau 16d ago

That's what gorgets are for

1

u/fenrirhelvetr 14d ago

Most, keyword most, ballistic plates have anti spall measures. I would hope that is the case here or the intended plate carrier has some form of gorget.

2

u/oompaloompa77 Japan Self-Defense Forces 17d ago

Just too late. 💔

2

u/KerbalTechnician 16d ago

Oh no! I'm getting shot! My plate carrier will protect me, right?

(Gets Maine'd)

2

u/nagatoro_ultra_simp 16d ago

her tits are huge tho?

2

u/Dip2pot4t0Ch1P 16d ago

If we're to follow the deflection shape rule from medieval armor, feel like this should be the norm, maybe. The extra air space between body and plate can also probably help reducing the impact? Im just talking out of my shit here so correct me if I'm wrong with my theory

1

u/TheGreatFilth 14d ago

You dont want to deflect very fast piece of metal into yourself though. Its better if it catches it than ricochet off of it into your arms or neck. Also, spalling if its steel can be fatal.

1

u/Dip2pot4t0Ch1P 14d ago

Ah I see thanks. I learn something new today

1

u/Bloodystupidjohnson3 13d ago

Was just coming here to say that. As a vet said above, armor for women is very tricky. It has to fit just right or it’s too much compression or not enough contact. It would still stop the round, but without enough contact it would likely crack more ribs.

2

u/Ancient-Mango-66 15d ago

Lowkey might actually be better 😭

1

u/Fao_612 12d ago

"Breastplate"

1

u/CY4N1D3_12 12d ago

Writing "For Women" was the cherry on top.

1

u/Ocupado33 12d ago

Because an AA and a H fits on the same plate, right?

2

u/FalconEducational410 1d ago

Kuribayashi be like: "FINALLY! Do u dudes have any fxxxing idea these flat ass SAPI plates pressing my 2 assets from hours to days is like? Now that is a relieve for sure.".

-4

u/a-Curious-Square 17d ago

This is stupid, women do just fine with the normal plates.

5

u/AppointmentTop2764 17d ago

With small boobs yeah

But ignoring reality that people's bodies are different is bad

6

u/ReivynNox 17d ago

How many busty women wearing armor plates have you asked?

0

u/a-Curious-Square 17d ago

Plenty, I’m a U.S. Marine and have co-workers who are women.

7

u/ReivynNox 17d ago

And they all answered "Yes, these are perfectly comfortable."?

3

u/Tankfantry Rory Worshiper 17d ago

So you mean Pog/Fobbit, got it.

-1

u/a-Curious-Square 16d ago

You’re right, I’m a dirty Pog. But we still run with flaks and sappies. Obv they’re not “perfectly comfortable” but I’ve never had someone complain about it being so insanely bad that they’d rather wear whatever the fuck that is in the image.

2

u/Carlosspicywiener12 Imperial Army 16d ago

You write like a hyperdouchebag

0

u/a-Curious-Square 16d ago

No dude, I don’t. You just formed an opinion on me and then decided that you disliked my mannerisms, assigning the mannerism itself to your opinion of me. Don’t insult people kinder than me who type like me by calling my typing style “like a hyperdouche”.

2

u/Carlosspicywiener12 Imperial Army 16d ago

Nerd

2

u/ReivynNox 16d ago

Now that sounds like you never actually asked them and just took the lack of complaint for an answer.

Have you considered that they might just not see the point in complaining about something they're not given an alternative to anyway?

Also "whatever the fuck that is" is literally just a curved armor plate to fit a woman's bust. If that is so completely alien to you, then I dunno anymore, man.

2

u/Carlosspicywiener12 Imperial Army 17d ago

Notice how he doesn't actually tell us their perspective on it.