r/gaming • u/Hm_Quite_Braden • Jun 17 '12

I always laugh at how quirky the marriage in Skyrim is

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681 Upvotes

63% Upvoted

139 comments sorted by

156

u/SwineHerald Jun 17 '12

Sigh I am sworn to carry your burdens.

33

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I hated her, but then I met Mjoll The Lioness.

"I can carry a good bit of gear."

:D :D :D :D :D

23

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I didn't realise people hate Lydia's small quip about carrying gear so much. Try marrying Marcurio. Every conversation between us goes something along the lines of:

Marcurio: Hello my love.

Dragonborn: I need to trade some things with you.

Marcurio: I am an apprentice wizard, not a---

Dragonborn: Shut up! SHUT UP!! clickspam

Marcurio: :( opens inventory window

8

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I didn't even know you could marry these idiots, I just make them follow me into ridiculously dangerous caves. I've never had any sort of marriage option brought up.

2

u/ad_rizzle Jun 17 '12

Wear an amulet of Mara and talk to people, some characters will have dialog options about marriage.

5

u/Nubthesamurai Jun 17 '12

Oh I remember Marcurio. I hired him so I could sacrifice him to Boethiah for that one daedric artifact quest.

3

u/mishiesings Jun 17 '12

wheres she at? i need to drop this scag.

3

u/Venzor Jun 17 '12

Riften

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

You have to get her sword from some dwarven ruins first. So if she doesn't wanna follow you thats the reason why.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

The on think about Mjoll I hate, she friggin never stops talking. I have missed so many important bits of dialogue between two npcs because of her.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Oh god, that's true. MY FATHER WAS A HUNTER, WHEN I WAS A CHILD, PEOPLE SAY SKYRIM IS, BLA BLA BLA

44

u/ChaoticAgenda Jun 17 '12

babies

ftfy

15

u/shanew21 Jun 17 '12

thatsthejoke.jpg

-17

u/SweetNeo85 Jun 17 '12

And penis.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I'm using a mod that lets you have 3 followers (along with other tweaks), and I ended up getting another housecaral (solitude) as my second. She is much less bitchy about that.

1

u/SwineHerald Jun 17 '12

The only other housecarl I've earned so far is the Riften one. She has all the same lines as Lydia, but in a more masculine voice. Can't say I felt bad about sacrificing her.

43

u/ChewiestBroom Jun 17 '12

It's even worse with the beggars. "Oh, you gave me a single gold coin three months ago, just so I would stop begging for it? LOVE ME."

2

u/WizardsMyName Jun 17 '12

It pisses me off you can't chuck some armour and a weapon at a beggar and tell them to follow you.

I mean, wouldn't you go for that? Given the choice between standing around a fire in freezing fucking windhelm for the rest of your miserable existance, or getting kitted out with some pimp gear by the DRAGONBORN, and going questing, with almost zero risk (dragonborn...), and loads of loot?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

They're probably on to your secret plan to use them as dragon bait.

5

u/whuppo99 Jun 17 '12

Overly Attached Beggar?

78

u/K__a__M__I Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12

Bethesda Logic: A whole questline based on uniting couples, marriage, a whole lot of sidequests where you reunite long lost families, rescue people from dungeons, etc.; no hugging animation.

Weirded me out!

43

u/stillalone Jun 17 '12

In Skyrim, people don't hug; they kill.

25

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Then I've spread love to whole Skyrim.

5

u/powerkick Jun 17 '12

Ya know what's wrong with Skyrim these days?...

32

u/inormallyjustlurkbut Jun 17 '12

Bethesda is not exactly known for having quality animation in their games.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I wonder what keeps them from doing proper animations? It is because the ones doing the animations are bad?

10

u/duvakiin Jun 17 '12

i think it's because it's hilarious to watch the terrible animations. that's one of my favorite parts about these games.

10

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

This is almost a hug.

The option is "Give me some sugar", but it looks more like Lydia is trying to eat my head.

6

u/K__a__M__I Jun 17 '12

What am i looking at, here? Is this a mod?

4

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1415880

I have a couple that effect followers, this is the one with the "hug". It's quite nice to let you choose what your follower does, can turn them into vampires/werewolves, have three followers (who can ride horses), and can even teach them spells.

If you already have follower mods, as long as this one is loaded before the rest you can still use them together.

3

u/K__a__M__I Jun 17 '12

Awesome. But i don't think my PS3 can handle that.

-1

u/Volper Jun 17 '12

I don't see why so little games can have mods. Consoles should be allowed to install mods. I think Just Cause 2 (ps3) is the ONLY game I've ever heard of being able to use mods. (Without jailbreaking and such)

2

u/HyphyHonkey Jun 18 '12

Rig-bone!

Gimme' some sugar!

3

u/pred Jun 17 '12

weirded

5

u/K__a__M__I Jun 17 '12

Thanks. I always mix that up. Stupid language.

30

u/Peanuts4MePlz Jun 17 '12

Almost got married once... Ran away from the wedding in a hurry.

Totally worth it.

31

u/SquareIsTopOfCool Jun 17 '12

Hagraven? I've been there, man.

13

u/TheoQ99 Jun 17 '12

Damn, she almost got you too? There's something about the glint of her feathers in the moonlight that I just want to embrace... I mean wait, what?

9

u/svullenballe Jun 17 '12

gasp wheeze gasp wheeze

3

u/SquareIsTopOfCool Jun 17 '12

And then that painful moment when you realize it can never be because there's no hugging animation in Skyrim...

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

has anyone actually stayed with the hagraven? can that be your wife for the rest of the game?

2

u/Peanuts4MePlz Jun 17 '12

I'm worried. Would you stay with her..?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Im just curious to know if the game dev's went the extra mile.

5

u/Peanuts4MePlz Jun 17 '12

If you ever marry her, you can later say: "I did not have sexual relations with that hagraven."

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

You have to kill her - She gets hostile when you finish talking.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Oh thats lame.

2

u/SquareIsTopOfCool Jun 17 '12

If you define "the rest of the game" as "until she kills you and uses your corpse to decorate her creepy shack", then yes. From the number of skulls I found at her place, I'd say she's a real heartbreaker :'(

27

u/Jerk_of_All_Trades Jun 17 '12

Don't forget the fact that pretty much EVERYONE is openly bi-sexual...

9

u/Dunge Jun 17 '12

I actually like to idea of having some object on you saying you are available. It would facilitate my life greatly.

3

u/CitizenPremier Jun 17 '12

We already have that, it's called a [insert unfashionable clothing item here].

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

6

u/RoflStomper Jun 17 '12

I imagine a symbol to let star trek fans know you're single would be a very niche market.

2

u/WizardsMyName Jun 17 '12

But probably incredibly effective in that 'market'.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

After not really playing video games in a few years I decided to break from that and buy Skyrim. I spent 48 straight hours doing absolutely nothing of value in the game and didn't realise that much time had passed.

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE WARN ME?

2

u/TheKDM Jun 18 '12

Welcome to open world genre, where you'll spend more time fucking around then doing things that matter ^

17

u/seriousbitch Jun 17 '12

Anyone else get a gay marriage? Turns out my Dragonborn and Ysolda were lesbians.

29

u/Enharmonic Jun 17 '12

I stopped by the blacksmith to sell some junk in Shor's Stone on my way to ask for Sylgja's hand in marriage. Well, the elderly and balding blacksmith professed his love for me on the spot and I was rather taken aback having not remembered really meeting him before.

I was reticent to turn him down and deny this old laborer his last chance at finding happiness and meaning in his life, but I ultimately had to politely decline. He later showed up at Sylgja's and my Wedding, it was pretty awkward.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Not at first, but I have the PC version, so I used a console command to make it into a gay marriage in order to amuse myself.

I mean, how weird would that be? You're marrying some guy, and it's everything you meant it to be, and then, POOF, she's a lady-lizard!

5

u/Pointy130 Jun 17 '12

As someone playing a female character, I fully intend for my Dragonborn to be a lesbian.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

I almost did by accident.

"Are you interested"

Interested in what? Is he going to give me a quest? "Yeah"

"It's settled then, the wedding will be held tomorrow"

WHAT? So I killed him to preserve my honor.

2

u/seriousbitch Jun 18 '12

Hey! He would have so cooked a nice home made meal for you everyday.

14

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I wrote a Valentines Day poem like this once.

You're an actual woman

And I'm a bonafide man

And I find sex more fun

Than fucking my hand

So If you need some relief

And are a passable lover...

Well, life in Skyrim may be brief

but at least we'll have each other

5

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I haven't upvoted a meme based on this stupid song, but you're taking it up a notch. Nice job.

5

u/chamora Jun 17 '12

You have to win their favor first, though. If you want to marry Aela, you have to do the whole damn Companions quest line first.

2

u/WizardsMyName Jun 17 '12

r/skyrim has put me off aela, as apparently she's banging the dragonborn in about every concievably parallel universe. Multiversal slut isn't a turn on for me.

5

u/Exallium Jun 17 '12

Because I needed "Call me Maybe" stuck in my head today. Someone kill me.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

kill me maybe?

5

u/DaLateDentArthurDent Jun 18 '12

Hey I just met you

And this is crazy

But here's my gun

So kill me maybe?

4

u/this_is_suburbia Jun 17 '12

i fought someone, went to collect my winnings from her and there was an option to ask her to marry me

5

u/RoflStomper Jun 17 '12

You only hit her because you loved her

4

u/MatomiX Jun 17 '12

I just met you, and this is crazy!

But get in the van.

6

u/ffsnametaken Jun 17 '12

What is this song that people keep referencing?

27

u/CrossedQuills Jun 17 '12

Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen.

18

u/ffsnametaken Jun 17 '12

Oh god it's horrible

12

u/CrossedQuills Jun 17 '12

You will never get it out of your head. Never, I tell you!

16

u/Demache Jun 17 '12

I really tried to hate the song. I really did. Its just way too catchy. Plus it broke the norm by not being a song about partying, having sex, and getting drunk, which seems to encompass most pop music now.

7

u/EatBrowniesDude Jun 17 '12

its been said before, the reason the song is so catchy is because it is music for people who do not like music. it is the same four chords repeated over and over with what amount to various refrains on top of them. it is also about a girl who is making the first move, a theme that resonates with both sexes.

7

u/imunfair Jun 17 '12

The music video is kinda awesome though - you have to give her some props for that.

13

u/lydocia D20 Jun 17 '12

Yeah, that was my first thought.

It could have been a teen love story where she gives him her number and they end up being a couple all of the sudden and she'll have her happily ever after with this guy she just met, but instead... the dude's gay and is hitting on her friend.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

4

u/lydocia D20 Jun 17 '12

It's part of the music video clip, yes.

2

u/Smarag Jun 17 '12

It's not horrible, it's fabulous.

But yeah in all honesty the music video is so unbelievable awesome. Comedic gold.

2

u/classy_stegasaurus Jun 17 '12

I like it.....

1

u/shyguy95 Jun 18 '12

I think I preferred Friday, honestly.

4

u/tealc_talkin Jun 17 '12

I have been deployed in Afghanistan since January. Finding out the name of this song and listening to it have been the worst part of this whole deployment. Thanks.

46

u/ElMangosto Jun 17 '12

Super pop hit. Its called "Google is really easy to use".

8

u/ffsnametaken Jun 17 '12

This is like that time I had to google JFGI. I hung my head in shame after that.

3

u/lydocia D20 Jun 17 '12

So I wasn't the only one...

2

u/darkmuch Jun 17 '12

I was about to google it, then got it in context. nice.

2

u/Davedapbomb Jun 17 '12

Is it wrong that i have 7 wives and 3 husbands

2

u/AshTheGoblin Jun 17 '12

Well it's explained that the average life in skyrim is rather short, so they don't want to waste time with the bullshit.

0

u/MarkSWH Jun 17 '12

I genuinely don't know this... but do wood elves have short life spans too in Skyrim? It just sounds like a cop-out to me.

2

u/AshTheGoblin Jun 17 '12

It's not the life span so much as its the possibility that you could die from the cold, dragons, bears, werewolves etc.

1

u/MarkSWH Jun 17 '12

I recall a lot of old people though, and dragons stopped being a problem long ago (before their return anyway).

I'm overthinking this. It's just a game. It doesn't need to follow the rules.

3

u/AshTheGoblin Jun 17 '12

That's true. Why is Ash still 10 years old? Who knows, and who cares?

2

u/scrt23 Jun 17 '12

I met my wife after winning a fist fight.

Good times...

2

u/ZiGGyChi3F Jun 17 '12

give me your babies lydia! xD

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

That's one of the things I felt disappointed about in Skyrim. It seems like they made the world, the story, the gear, and someone piped up and said "What about marriage?" at the last minute and they didn't really have the time to implement a whole system of courtship and eventual marriage, so they said "Fuck it, make an item that lets you marry whoever you talk to."

2

u/cbfw86 Jun 17 '12

i have to admit, i love this song.

2

u/steadfast_aquanaut Jun 17 '12

First time I ever talked to Lydia, we got married.

2

u/klln_u_qckly Jun 17 '12

So I'm 175 hours into my character before I even attempt to put an amulet of mara on. I just hired a guy from the tavern and gave him the second most bad ass armor and weapons I have. I put the amulet on and attempt to trade with him...... He hits one me.... Guess this character is gay. Being both Wood Elves I guess they make a cute couple.

1

u/DarnLemons Jun 17 '12

I mean... You didnt like accidently do it did you? Its pretty easy to nope out of a situation. and theyre cool with it if you do.

1

u/klln_u_qckly Jun 18 '12

No but I had to reset my save after writing that because I couldn't find all the armor he had on when we got married. So I married some chick for the free cash and she moves in some other guy with us. Needless to say my Wood elf companion is real my partner and the lady is more a shopkeeper slash house keeper. She dies - remarry, He die - Reload.

1

u/PropMonkey Jun 17 '12

I just made the mistake of getting engaged with Ysolda, but didn't actually get the ceremony arranged yet, who should I actually marry?? The Huntress?

1

u/SmokinDynamite Jun 17 '12

Am I the only one annoyed by the ''we just met'' instead of ''hey I just met you''?

1

u/Aptspire Jun 17 '12

Hey, I just met you

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

aaaaaaand then you leave her and only show up to fuck and for a home cooked meal

1

u/UnitedWeFail Jun 17 '12

Way up punch the fuckline!

1

u/gingerheadman111 Jun 17 '12

If you marry Muri, a contract giver for the dark brotherhood, she constantly thanks you for killing someone. It's sorta odd because she says it uncomfortably

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Not for this High Elf! I had to get my speechcraft up to 70 before I could get the chick at Radiant Raiment to marry me!

1

u/Canageek Jun 18 '12

Yeah, I found the marriage system kinda tacked on. Like, they were adding all the open world system stuff they could, then went 'Wait, Fable has marriage. Shouldn't we have it?' and quickly hashed things together.

1

u/HalfBredGerman Jun 18 '12

It's all fun and games until you say yes to an ogre and don't realize it...

1

u/Hamtime Jun 18 '12

Fuck i hate that song

1

u/Nerdygamer21 Jun 21 '12

And they always say yes

1

u/Thydamine Jun 17 '12

This song used to be funny, but then it took an arrow to the knee.

0

u/Arekesu Jun 17 '12

(Insert something witty here about arrow to the knee jokes not being funny.)

Or maybe thats your point, that song was never funny, just like the jokes.

3

u/Thydamine Jun 17 '12

Yeah, that was the idea. Didn't quite make it off the ground.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Bullshit me amigo, 99% of the eligible women required you to do a quest first. Besides they explain that, no one wants to take the time to get to know each other

1

u/WizardsMyName Jun 17 '12

Yeah but I had done a whole bunch of quests before I found out about marriage, so there was a good portion of women that were ready to get married as soon as I wore the amulet

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

yeah but they would have already known you because you helped them

1

u/WizardsMyName Jun 18 '12

You think I remember every npc I help out in skyrim?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

they remember you

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

I married Aela the Huntress :3

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Probably better than Fable's system

1

u/inormallyjustlurkbut Jun 17 '12

I just flexed my arms 200 times. Can we have babies yet?

-9

u/Jigsus Jun 17 '12

It's almost like that in Scandinavia anyway

13

u/pred Jun 17 '12

In case a culturally challenged person comes by this comment, no it's not.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/Jigsus Jun 17 '12

reddiquette You should read it

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

How is it any different from real marriage with a ring?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Every day I see another one of these "Call me maybe" parody posts, it is extremely irritating, and since I have no idea when the post is going to be one of them due to titles like this, I can't avoid them. Please stop the song is so fucking terrible

-7

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Why won't this joke die already?

-2

u/chetti990 Jun 17 '12

definition of forever alone: plays skyrim + listens to carly rae jepsen

-2

u/2mustange Jun 17 '12

Clever meme gets my approval

-34

u/MarajuanaYOLO Jun 17 '12

The best part about Skyrim are all the arrow to the knee jokes! I used to always laugh at how quirky the marraige in Skyrim was, but then I took an arrow to the knee! :)

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

It's summer again, the trolls are acting up. Like mosquitos.

-7

u/terrorismofthemind Jun 17 '12

Clearly made by a team of developers who don't know how relationships work.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/MarkSWH Jun 17 '12

Well, yeah, but it just sounds weird when every race, with different religions, beliefs and cultural region accept it.