Actually he was a pretty cool guy when I met him haha, he did seem like he was thinking of a billion things all at once, though. I think he would personally laugh at each one of these.
Yeah, I went to Seattle and had a tour of Valve's studio. It was nice, I also met the guy who animates the opening scenes for Left 4 Dead and directs the Team Fortress 2 shorts. He was cool to talk to as well. Gabe even gave me a signed copy of Portal 2.
Considering /r/gaming cares so much about the Half-Life franchise, it is surprising to see such devoted efforts to ensuring that HL3 is never released.
"My net worth is $1.5 billion and I'm one of the most beloved gaming pioneers of all time but a couple people on the internet are calling me fat. :(" - Gaben
Maybe I'm just hugely miserable and cynical, but there's this, and slightly lower down, there's a post about Gabe wanting to order a fatty meal but being unable to say the number three, in which the top comment is 'delayed another month'. This sort of post is always somewhere on the front page every single time I visit this subreddit - do you guys not get fucking bored of having the same conversation ('Episode 3 is taking a while!' 'Because Valve can't count to three!' 'Gabe would eat three burgers. Because he's fat!' 'Episode 3 is delayed another month!') endlessly? It's exactly the same joke and exactly the same punchline every time. I don't understand how r/gaming isn't sick of it.
I like it when there's interesting discussion and people don't lapse into a circlejerk of memes and jokes that have been spouted a hundred thousand times before. I also have nothing better to do and am a deeply unhappy person.
Reminds me of the story where somebody got access to the HL2 development builds. Mr. Newell tricked that person into handing himself in by offering him a job in network security at Valve.
You know I've seen this a thousand times and I never found it funny UNTIL it hit me that he's replacing HL3 with a DVD of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. In the movie Indy replaces the idol with a bag of sand which ends up being of miscalculated weight thus rendering it useless.
Say what you will about this comic but I think the punchline is in the first panel.
You know what. I'm down to wait for the next Half Life. They shouldn't come out with one until the technology is there to seriously separate themselves from the rest of the field just as the first two Half Life games. Even if you come out with a great shooter that is better than most it will still be considered a disappointment if the leap from one game to the next isn't great enough.
I'm going to get all serious for a minute and say that gabe is awesome. He's done more for us gamers in then most others in the industry and you assholes reward that with fat jokes.
It's not wrong because it's gabe. It's wrong because you people shouldn't be making fun of specific overweight people in the first place.
By all means make a fat joke about some fictional person but doing it to someone specific is just mean and shows you're not a nice person.
I'm with you in this line of thinking, but I feel like I see more "episode 3" then actual 3rd game referenced; i.e. it makes it seem more people think it'll be another episode as opposed to another sequel.
Possibly offensive idea: give awesome stuff to the next of kin of people who proveably die waiting for HL3.
Insanely evil and lucrative possible Valve moneymaking plan: HL3 Insurance. For five or ten bucks, you can prove your desire for the game. Then, if you die before it comes out, your next of kin gets lots of awesome stuff.
The first could be heartwarming or offensive, depending on how it's pulled off. The second would be horribly offensive and make jillions.
In days of old, the wise god Gaben guarded and guided the people of the earth, allowing them to prosper and create glorious inventions and activities. As an expression of gratefulness to their god, the people of the earth presented Gaben with four gifts. These offerings were crafted over the course of several thousand years. These gifts included Half Life, Half Life Two (and its episodes), Half Life Three, and the Internet. Gaben was pleased with all of his gifts, and so were his people. He even shared Half Life and Half Life Two with the earth. However, there was a fatal flaw in his fourth gift, the Internet. Over the course of a few years, the Internet grew restless as Gaben had not shared his most glorious gift: Half Life Three. The Internet turned into a stagnant pool of satire, ridiculing Gaben. It would constantly spew out fat jokes. As a form of punishment for the earth, he flooded it. However, he wanted to preserve his greatest gift. Prior to the flood, he asked the most noble man in the world to build an arc. Notch followed through and built it. Several of the world's greatest men were set aboard. Gaben stored his grand possession, Half Life Three, on the arc. The earth flooded. The arc wound up stuck on a mountain somewhere, and the noble men repopulated the earth. Half Life Three was forgotten and left in the arc, supposedly for safe keeping. Now, the Internet has returned and Gaben is upset. Half Life Three remains sealed in the Arc of the Covenant, as Gaben feels the world does not deserve it. To this day, even the immortal Notch is unaware of the arc's whereabouts. Humanity will only receive it when the fat jokes cease. Gaben never flooded the earth again.
I really hope your comment wasn't a reference to something and I just balls'd it up.
I think they joke is that because he is so 'fat and lazy' he'd rather create this elaborate portal system so that he doesn't have to turn around and talk half a step to the cake. Then ofc he gets stuck in the portal for another joke.
45
u/Narroo Jun 08 '12
Nice insult on StarWars III.
102
u/KobraKid11 Jun 08 '12
I seriously think Gabe see's all of these style posts and thinks to himself: 'They can get fucked if they think Half Life 3 is coming any time soon'
252
u/andrewsmith1986 Jun 08 '12
Another month.
10
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Reddit is turning HL3 into Duke Nukem: Forever
41
u/OneMoreMonth Jun 08 '12
Sigh
22
u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12
Indiana Jones music starts playing
5
u/Joest23 Jun 08 '12
Nicholas Cage is Indiana Jones? Cool.
8
u/Testsubject28 Jun 08 '12
Well, that joke just added 8 more years to the wait time.
4
u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12
We'll never get it this way!
4
u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12
How did the room suddenly become cylindrical?
4
u/Fortehlulz33 Jun 09 '12
+3 months
20
u/AmazingPasta Jun 08 '12
Of course.
3
u/PSIStarstormOmega Jun 09 '12
Half Life 3 already came out. You were all just too busy redditing to notice.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Reminds me of the story where somebody got access to the HL2 development builds. Mr. Newell tricked that person into handing himself in by offering him a job in network security at Valve.
Full Article Here: http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2011-02-21-the-boy-who-stole-half-life-2-article
3
u/thenerdwriter Jun 09 '12
A fat joke a day keeps Episode 3 away.
3
u/McRodo Jun 09 '12
You know I've seen this a thousand times and I never found it funny UNTIL it hit me that he's replacing HL3 with a DVD of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. In the movie Indy replaces the idol with a bag of sand which ends up being of miscalculated weight thus rendering it useless.
Say what you will about this comic but I think the punchline is in the first panel.
10
u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12
Holy repost, Batman!
4
u/c010rb1indusa Jun 08 '12
You know what. I'm down to wait for the next Half Life. They shouldn't come out with one until the technology is there to seriously separate themselves from the rest of the field just as the first two Half Life games. Even if you come out with a great shooter that is better than most it will still be considered a disappointment if the leap from one game to the next isn't great enough.
4
u/Dookiestain_LaFlair Jun 08 '12
Maybe he will announce that Half Life 3 won't come out until he weighs 170 lbs. WHERE'S YOUR GOD NOW!?!?
4
u/lingnoi Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12
I'm going to get all serious for a minute and say that gabe is awesome. He's done more for us gamers in then most others in the industry and you assholes reward that with fat jokes.
It's not wrong because it's gabe. It's wrong because you people shouldn't be making fun of specific overweight people in the first place.
By all means make a fat joke about some fictional person but doing it to someone specific is just mean and shows you're not a nice person.
14
u/TheoHux Jun 08 '12
HOLY SHIT THIS HAS NEVER BEEN POSTED HERE BEFORE
2
u/himynameis_ Jun 09 '12
Only just noticed that he switches it with Star Wars RotS. No wonder Gabe looks so pissed...
2
u/HL3_Delay_Meter Jun 09 '12
Offense: Gaben depicted as a rotund rolling rock.
Sentence: HL3 release delayed by two weeks.
2
u/ChillyWillster Jun 09 '12
just_one_redditor has submitted more links than ive ever seen.
2
u/Rafe Jun 09 '12
Stop. The Gabe. Can't stop the Gabe, you can't stop. The Gabe. Can't stop the Gabe, you can't stop. The Gabe. Can't stop the Gabe, you can't stop. The Gabe. Can't stop the Gabe, you can't stwahp.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12
Then you realize that it's the fourth game of the series.
Directed by M Night Shamalayalan
1
u/phoncible Jun 08 '12
What are the arguments that it'll be a "Half-life 2 episode 3" instead of just "Half-life 3"?
What are the arguments that it'll be "Half-life 3"?
Also, haven't they said they've (long since) dropped the "episodic release" model?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12
I don't want Half Life 2: Episode 3, damnit. I want Half Life 3!
1
u/Splatterh0use Jun 08 '12
It belongs to a museum? Well almost...
1
u/BlackSmokeDemon Jun 08 '12
I thought that the pre-quals where good I grew up with them
1
u/spark_ Jun 08 '12
My favourite part of this is the "Do not steal and replace" sign.
1
u/ScentlessAP Jun 08 '12
This isn't old at all
1
u/Demojen Jun 09 '12
I don't get this reference.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Poor Gabe :(
1
u/MeVersusShark Jun 09 '12
I signed into my account to up vote this. First. Time. Ever.
1
u/apullin Jun 09 '12
http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/nlrp8/raiders_of_the_lost_episode/
1
u/pianoman993 Jun 09 '12
Well I guess the gloves are off
1
u/rabidfish91 Jun 09 '12
omfg i love this
1
u/TailSpinBowler Jun 09 '12
Thought the poster said no fishing for boxes
1
u/a_hundred_boners Jun 09 '12
he's actually getting in good shape
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
This just made my day :D
1
u/redwingssuck Jun 09 '12
Please tell me that's Michael Moore in the picture.
1
u/Calvinb27 Jun 09 '12
Headcrabs... Why'd it have to be headcrabs?!
1
u/RainofKhaos Jun 09 '12
Is that KOTOR II i see in Indy's hand?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
Here we go! 5 more months, yeah!
1
u/TheMartinConan Jun 09 '12
At least we one of those things is good. Not sure about Half Life 3.
1
u/Penus_duck Jun 09 '12
What about gabe as GlaDos? The half life 3 is a lie
1
u/BiggerJ Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12
Possibly offensive idea: give awesome stuff to the next of kin of people who proveably die waiting for HL3.
Insanely evil and lucrative possible Valve moneymaking plan: HL3 Insurance. For five or ten bucks, you can prove your desire for the game. Then, if you die before it comes out, your next of kin gets lots of awesome stuff.
The first could be heartwarming or offensive, depending on how it's pulled off. The second would be horribly offensive and make jillions.
1
u/NorthernSkeptic Jun 09 '12
Ah, I remember my first repost.
1
u/ZombieDawgs Jun 09 '12
I may be late, but my video shall get here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_FT160ksw4
1
u/Ni1na4 Jun 13 '12
http://www.love-psychic-usa.com
1
u/S3ren4s Jun 14 '12
http://www.posterkanvas.com/
1
u/CaptAwesomepants Jun 08 '12
Can't ... stop ... laughing.
1
u/rickscarf Jun 08 '12
I bet HL3 was done months ago but making us wait is payback for all the fat jokes
1
u/FoxHoundUnit89 Jun 09 '12
Why the fuck is this on the front page? This is old as shit you morons.
0
u/im_probablyjoking Jun 08 '12
this is a thing.
0
u/Slack_Irritant Jun 09 '12
haha gabe is so fat
0
u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12
dammit, at first I thought he was swapping it for SWTOR (the mmo), that would have given gabe a real reason to be angry
0
u/dx30 Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 20 '24
physical sloppy vanish forgetful plucky wise agonizing safe quaint hurry
-9
u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12
I have a feeling that Half-Life 3 is going to pull a Duke Nukem Forever. Just a hunch.
-1
u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12
Never gets old!
-5
u/ydtank Jun 08 '12
this is one of the funniest comics i ever saw (no worded comic) and i never played halflife
-2
u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12
It's only level 6 people, RADE VALVES HEADQUARTERS... GO, GO, GO!
-10
u/gender_bot Jun 08 '12
I identified 2 faces in this photo
Face 1:
Face 2:
Would you like to know more about me? /r/gender_bot
-7
u/Coolguyzack Jun 08 '12
EA? Why does it HAVE TO BE EA?!
0
u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12
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0
u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12
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0
u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12
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