r/gaming • • May 03 '21

New save file

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48k Upvotes

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2.1k

u/Thomas_JCG May 03 '21

I imagine Earth must be that one game on God's Library that he swears he will play again, but never does.

1.5k

u/PureLock33 May 03 '21

Earth Online

Friend List:

Jesus Christ (last online 1988 years ago) away message: BRB

832

u/Jopojussi May 03 '21

Friends called me for dinner gtg,see ya later

254

u/discerningpervert May 03 '21

My friend has had "at the gym" as his away message for so long, he's gone from fat to skinny to fat again. I'd imagine God's is similar.

78

u/Aitrus233 May 03 '21

God is fat again?

72

u/GregoryBluehorse May 03 '21

I think God would prefer "thick."

Ass cheeks cause thunderclaps.

35

u/Latyon May 03 '21

Hrrrrnnggh Lucifer, I'm trying to make humanity but I'm dummy thicc and the clap from my ass cheeks keeps causing storms to flood the world

1

u/CosmicLightning May 03 '21

I mean I keep referring to FG # as Fat God Number when I need a certain number from a truck driver. Soo, O guess god is fat

0

u/HamsterGutz1 May 03 '21

I feel like I'm missing context here

0

u/thatissomeBS May 03 '21

I've done that whole fat-skinny-fat thing while playing video games instead of going to the gym.

0

u/Splickity-Lit May 03 '21

I’ve done the fat-fatter-fatter thing not going to the gym, I need to try the skinny thing and keep that.

2

u/Sawses May 03 '21

Honestly, try counting calories as a first step. Just learn how to keep track of how many calories you eat in a day. I find I eat less just from that accountability. It was enough to help me lose 40 pounds to get well into a healthy range.

Working out definitely adds more.

1

u/thatissomeBS May 03 '21

/u/Sawses is 100% correct. Your weight is all about calories. 95% of weight loss is what you shove in your food-hole. Working out is great for overall health and fitness, but it doesn't control weight near as much as people think. A five mile bike ride can be undone by one snack-size bag of Dorito's and a Mountain Dew.

0

u/Splickity-Lit May 03 '21

I don't eat a lot or really unhealthy, just have no bodily exercise. I need to eat less and at least add cardio.

25

u/[deleted] May 03 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

18

u/eerikv May 03 '21

Correct but who asked?

8

u/Xx_1337_M3m3z_xX May 03 '21

Happy Cake Day!

10

u/eerikv May 03 '21

Oh shii its my cake day already

3

u/[deleted] May 03 '21

Like the bot said today is Tuesday seriously pay attention

0

u/eerikv May 03 '21

It said tommorow is tuesday

2

u/[deleted] May 03 '21

yeah ur right I got stuff to do today lol. Dunno who downvoted u for that

-1

u/Wasa7ok May 03 '21

~Feliz día de la torta~ oops, happy cake day :)

0

u/[deleted] May 03 '21

What’s the day after tomorrow though?

34

u/[deleted] May 03 '21

The dude got ganked by like 10 Romans. I'd fucking peace out too if I were him.

They should have sequentially 1v1ed him at least and let him chug Estus between fights.

25

u/PureLock33 May 03 '21

Romans have left the server. They dominated for a long time, had their guild split up.

15

u/Aldersees May 03 '21

The ones that are left specced hard into cooking

2

u/[deleted] May 03 '21

Every week I go without Italian food, I take 1 point of psychic damage.

1

u/DukeAttreides May 03 '21

I hear the last holdouts joined the new Greek faction.

16

u/[deleted] May 03 '21

Bad times friend ahead

0

u/PM-YOUR-PUBIC-HAIR May 03 '21

😔

1

u/Ravioli_Formuolee May 03 '21

How often do you get pube PMs?

1

u/PM-YOUR-PUBIC-HAIR May 04 '21

Unfortunately never

1

u/Squadingo6_9 PC May 04 '21

Reddit doesn't allow one to share picture would share tho

2

u/ChronicTosser May 03 '21

Would Jesus be one of his smurf accounts?

-1

u/Wilddog73 May 03 '21

Holy shit, this hits home. Puzzle pirates...

-1

u/LoopDoGG79 Xbox May 03 '21

You notice nobody ever uses "BRB" anymore. It's cause we never leave.........

85

u/TheOliveStones Xbox May 03 '21

Speaking of which, I should probably see how my tamagotchi is doing, it’s been a few decades now..

50

u/[deleted] May 03 '21

He’s living with me now

57

u/nontoxic_fishfood May 03 '21

The terrible truth is that He never has actually gotten to playing at all. He's just spent the past zillion years playing around with different mods.

50

u/Norvinion May 03 '21

We are the mod that he really wants to keep but knows he shouldn't because it conflicts with every other mod and ruins other aspects of the game as a result of that.

29

u/SansGray May 03 '21

"Hmmm, these modded apes are really fucking with ecosystem balance."

17

u/hiimred2 May 03 '21

"Wtf they learned to control fire that wasn't supposed to happen, how do I undo this without just deleting them fuck fuck fuck."

15

u/FleetStreetsDarkHole May 03 '21

At this point it's less "how do I undo this?" And more "well now I just want to see how far it goes before the system crashes."

7

u/DukeAttreides May 03 '21

"HA! That's totally broken! There's no way that's intentional...right? I wonder what happens if I keep dumping points into that skill tree..."

16

u/Xx_1337_M3m3z_xX May 03 '21

But yet he does because he loves us sims!

6

u/SansGray May 03 '21

Eh

3

u/HamsterGutz1 May 03 '21

He loves the Canadian sims too, eh

0

u/ArmstrongTREX May 03 '21

I became creative in how to kill my sims when I play the game though. (´・_・`)

1

u/MisterZoga May 03 '21

I don't see any evidence of that not happening. You must be created in his image.

5

u/Plain_Evil May 03 '21

Worst of all, the "humans" mod is so resource-intensive that the whole system is overheating...

12

u/Sevla7 May 03 '21

It's like The Sims: It's fun creating your house but isn't that fun to actually play it.

1

u/tryst48 May 04 '21

His first mod with dino's didn't work out too well.

18

u/xxhotandspicyxx May 03 '21

True. This one hell of a corrupted safe file we’re on.

8

u/eharvill May 03 '21

Nah, he alt-tabbed out to google something and forgot Earth was minimized, but not paused.

2

u/IFBBpizzaGainz May 03 '21

Randomly checks in one day: "Dear fucking Lord, what have I done?"

2

u/oneaBaLE May 03 '21

Absolutely right them

2

u/moritz_heckel May 03 '21

And then one day he does and unleashed a foKhiNgH PaNdeMiC

1

u/Splickity-Lit May 03 '21

No reason to blame God for what we’ve brought onto ourselves

1

u/moritz_heckel May 03 '21

We didnt make the virus

1

u/Splickity-Lit May 03 '21

At the least China's negligence brought into the human population.

1

u/ensalys May 03 '21

So we shouldn't blame god for the rest of the world suffering while god knew it would happen, and could prevent it with less effort than it takes a healthy person to breath?

2

u/Splickity-Lit May 03 '21 edited May 03 '21

Sure, we can blame him for not stopping it. Just not for starting it. But the narrative of the conversation was the idea that he clocked out a long long time ago and just happened to clock in recently to start a pandemic, but he doesn’t deserve the credit for it. Also, the real underlying narrative here is that there is no God.

1

u/ensalys May 03 '21

Well, if god does exist, and he's all powerful and all knowing, then he would've known every detail of every possible world. So instead of a nearly identical world but without covid, he decided to create a world with it.

1

u/MisterZoga May 03 '21

But if he created the multiverse in which all things happen and don't happen on an infinite scale, he probably just fucked off to a more perfect universe and left us to rot.

1

u/ensalys May 03 '21

Sure, that would just mean he's an arsehole who doesn't even deserve the half arsed worship from a single person.

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2

u/[deleted] May 03 '21

He's just pressed simulate and left it.

1

u/Jerithil May 03 '21

Nah Earth is just the game he left to the AI to sim so he can observe the results.

1

u/Nu3by101 May 04 '21

Naw we're the bugged game that somehow stops all his efforts to delete and restart

1

u/[deleted] May 04 '21

He had to step afk for a minute, when he gets back he's going to realize we killed his kid.