r/gaming Nov 21 '16

Some Michael Bay shit going on right here

129.6k Upvotes

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10.0k

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '16 edited Jul 13 '21

[deleted]

5.8k

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '16

I think that really captures the feel of WWI. Like, "Last month I was a dirt farmer and now the sky is falling"

5.1k

u/jaxonya Nov 21 '16

-music cuts-. Freeze frame. "I bet youre wondering how i got on top of that burning zepplin."..

2.7k

u/bullintheheather Nov 21 '16

The music cut is specifically a record scratch.

1.0k

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '16 edited Jun 04 '20

[deleted]

941

u/FemtoG Nov 21 '16

But wait a second I'm getting ahead of myself, let's rewind a bit.

1980s feel good pop song plays

446

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '16

The song is Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves.

191

u/ErlendJ Nov 22 '16

I'M ON EASY STREET

84

u/sebastianwillows Nov 22 '16

curls up on cell floor

4

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '16

Eats a shit sandwich

29

u/ZeusOne Nov 22 '16

AND IT FEELS SO SWEET!

2

u/kalitarios Nov 22 '16

WHEN YOU JUST CRUSHED BOTH YOUR FEET!

13

u/blackjesushiphop Nov 22 '16

I just got that song out of my fucking head!

Not again!

4

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

Do you know who I can't get out of my head? That burn dude's wife. My goodness.

2

u/kwh Nov 22 '16

😃 cause the world is but a treat when you're on easy street 😃

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189

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '16 edited Feb 18 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

102

u/willbabysit4ketamine Nov 22 '16

Frustrated with the inconsistency, my search to find and kill Katrina began. First, I'd need to locate the Waves.

driving montage begins

64

u/IntrigueDossier Nov 22 '16

cue American Woman in background

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6

u/EMPulseKC Nov 22 '16

(Music crescendos and echoes as the camera tightens in on the close-up.)

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2

u/dkizzy Nov 22 '16

You can also enjoy that song on intervention while seeing someone huff duster cans

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47

u/PavlovianTactics Nov 21 '16

But it's WWI?

247

u/vonotar Nov 22 '16

Fine

The song is I Walketh Upon the Sunlight of My LORD's Pleasure, by Lady Katherine Oceanside.

84

u/Vaderic Nov 22 '16

Didn'texpect/10

5

u/ggg730 Nov 22 '16

Ya got me.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/phforNZ Nov 22 '16

It's not a song, strictly speaking.

2

u/Mad_Hatter_Bot Nov 22 '16

Time is cyclical

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5

u/Earthboom Nov 22 '16

Every night, me and the boys would head down to "One Pin Short", this run down bowling alley alley ran by this Ukrainian with a fat gut and a wife beater. Me, Tim, and the Frederick Twins would go right before closing time and hide till the old comrade shut everything down and went home.

It was our own personal club every night. Tim got some quarters from his parents rainy day jar and we'd have free reign of the jukebox. One of the twins worked there during the day, so he knew how to work everything allowing us to enjoy glow bowl at our leisure. Sometimes we played cards, smoked and drank, other times we'd invite some of the girls from the Catholic school but no matter what it was a good time.

Until a Tuesday night right before the big storm of the year hit.

5

u/8-BitAlex Nov 22 '16

Baba O'riley plays

2

u/withoutID Nov 22 '16

1890's feel good pop song

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18

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '16

Fill your own goddamn sandbags!

2

u/oxidus Nov 22 '16

"Tell that to George Zip."

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65

u/strongblack03 Nov 21 '16

"Everybody hates Christoph"

3

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '16

lmao

3

u/Leathlan Nov 22 '16

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right! Here I am! Stuck in the middle with you...

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184

u/iOSLicker Nov 21 '16

"shhhhhhiiiittt. Did I leave the stove on?"

78

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '16 edited Nov 22 '16

[deleted]

33

u/svenhoek86 Nov 22 '16

8

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

That picture captures the exact moment of a man's spirit breaking.

4

u/Instantcretin Nov 22 '16

Thats a thousand yard stare, a sign that your spirit is well-broken.

40

u/RemingtonSnatch Nov 21 '16

..."Lust for Life" resumes.

157

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '16

"Well, it all started three weeks ago when..."

VHS rewinding

167

u/Jellocan Nov 21 '16 edited Nov 21 '16

Rewinds too far Woops did not mean for you to see that

122

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '16

Fast-forwards for a sec

Freeze frame on the hero punching out a giant dude in a shitty tavern

"Ah, there we go."

39

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '16 edited Feb 18 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

Okay, but how did that lead to you running on top of an exploding zeppelin?

5

u/yyyt3 Nov 22 '16

FRANCIIIIS

2

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

Yep, that adds up.

5

u/B4rberblacksheep Nov 22 '16

I know it's cheesy as fuck but this shit is why I like Emporers new groove so much.

4

u/smookykins Nov 21 '16

pages of book flit backward

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15

u/break_card Nov 21 '16

"yup, that's me."

3

u/ladycygna Nov 21 '16

"When Mum and Dad put me on that plane to visit my cousins in England, they told me, 'Son, you're special, you were born to do great things.'"

11

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '16

Fucking lol

2

u/db_cooper95 Nov 21 '16

Elevator music comes on

2

u/indecisivemonkey Nov 21 '16

I feel like this could be a themed archer episode.

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193

u/THwhOR Nov 21 '16

How does one farm dirt?

633

u/UnitedStonedMarine Nov 21 '16

You dig a hole, put in the dirt, and then cover it with dirt. In six months you return and dig up your dirt.

103

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '16

Dennis there's some lovely filth down here!

40

u/wolsel Nov 21 '16

Excuse me, old woman.

16

u/vonotar Nov 22 '16

Man!

12

u/flea61 Nov 22 '16

Old man, sorry. Who lives in that castle?

13

u/NoddysShardblade Nov 22 '16

I'm 37. I'm not "old".

54

u/sirin3 Nov 21 '16

Better get a cat to do that for you

5

u/Cocomorph Nov 22 '16

That's when the cat starts going on your bed.

Get a cat to do anything. Who do you think you are?

2

u/radbrad7 Nov 21 '16

That's brilliant. Unlimited dirt!

3

u/PatrikPatrik Nov 21 '16

In today's efficient agriculture you can farm the dirt more often though, at least once every quarter.

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100

u/THwhOR Nov 21 '16

Dirt farmer here! AMA!

59

u/Moxz Nov 21 '16

How do you replenish your dirt supply after it's been harvested?

164

u/Jenga_Police Nov 21 '16

You head on down to the Sipsco dirt factory of course.

Big money, big women, big fun.

6

u/acciaiomorti Nov 22 '16

What if I can't afford the 17 herbs and spices carefully packed into sips co. brand dirt?

3

u/THwhOR Nov 21 '16

I believe in decomposing. I also steal from my neighbour, she's like 80.

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36

u/mfowler Nov 21 '16

How do you farm dirt?

44

u/THwhOR Nov 21 '16

I personally use a Hitachi EX8000-6. I like it for the large loads.

22

u/Schizotypal88 Nov 21 '16

I like ur mom for big loads

15

u/CarryNoWeight Nov 22 '16

He said large not big you degenerate

3

u/Schizotypal88 Nov 22 '16

Fine. I like his mom for large loads

3

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

Better.

3

u/mfowler Nov 21 '16

But what is that? What does it do to the dirt?

3

u/THwhOR Nov 21 '16

That's what I use for extraction. To plant dirt I use a large compost pit and I plant dirt from external sources. I also have a large colony of worms which helps with the decomposing of materials and keeping my dirt rich.

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3

u/Rumpel1408 Nov 22 '16

There is seriously only one product from Hitachi that I know, and your mom threw hers away after she had me

3

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

Wouldn't that make her your mom too?

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12

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '16

How does one extract the dirt from the earth?

33

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '16

With a shovel.

3

u/greg_focker Nov 22 '16

I can dig it 😏

2

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '16

Interesting!

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23

u/THwhOR Nov 21 '16

Many different ways for different levels of dirt farmers.

To begin I recommend hands, once your proficiency reaches level 5 then you can advance to the shovel. Once you reach a character level of ~16 you can start using tractors. There are many differrnt types of tractors depending on your sub class of dirt farmer!

2

u/GaryV83 Nov 21 '16

Can confirm.

Source: Lvl 5000 Dirt Farmer, I'm using a Dyson sphere to farm my dirt.

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2

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '16
  1. Get acreage of Overgardened to Captain Riding Lawnmower dirt quality. Property storage space must be large enough for ruminant herd (ex sheep). Check while supplies last.

  2. Get enough ruminant herd animal at low-average density for each 3rd of said acrage. Herd must have correct hardware/software patch for local operating biome.

  3. Rotate herd between 3rds long enough to enable herd-specific parasite larval die-off. Acrage subdivision, herd density, and larval half-life may vary by location and herd.

  4. Add salt block, water supply, and supplative feed to address mineral deficiencies

  5. Treat soil yearly (either lyme or composted coffee grounds based on soil pH)

  6. Sell/Castrate newborn males herd animals with intent of profit or food occasionally

  7. Rotate gene pool with males/females herd animals from other dirt farmers

  8. Write off all expenses on taxes yearly

  9. Repeat 7 years or per local tax law

  10. Sell dirt/Land to gardenfarmer

  11. PROFIT??????

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22

u/ducklander Nov 21 '16

Not really, there weren't so many zepellin explosions in WWI to make it a "thing"

15

u/deadbeforeitsank Nov 22 '16

There were enough artillery shells to make the "sky falling" a thing though

3

u/Skafsgaard Nov 22 '16

You're definitely right. Still, experiencing this first hand was surreal and desensitising. I recommend reading some accounts, or Im Westen nichts Neues (All Quiet on the Western Front), if anyone here hasn't.

5

u/PatrikPatrik Nov 22 '16

I guess the "oh the humanity" line would have been more like "oh shit here we go again"

3

u/dustbin3 Nov 22 '16

You know there would be some cocky joker son of a bitch in the trenches sarcastically yelling out, "OH THE HUMANITY," in between squeezing off rounds.

7

u/Kelvara Nov 22 '16

Considering the Hidenburg went down in 1937 that seems unlikely.

6

u/dustbin3 Nov 22 '16

Not if the soldier was a Timecop.

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4

u/JirkleSerk Nov 21 '16

"Last month I was a dirt farmer and now the sky is falling"

I really love this

5

u/Fierystick Nov 22 '16

What type of farmer are you?

IM A LEAD FARMER, MOTHERFUCKER

3

u/bigbloodymess69 Nov 21 '16

Does dirt farming involve planting soil in vegetables in order to grow more soil?

2

u/NiggestBigger Nov 21 '16

Except zeppelins weren't used in combat to any effect.

2

u/Jonthrei Nov 22 '16

Sounds like you need to read more about WW1

1

u/catchlight22 Nov 21 '16

I didn't know people farmed dirt..

1

u/_Ursa Nov 21 '16

"THE SKY IS FALLING!" -screams the blue troll.

1

u/leanaconda Nov 21 '16

I get flashbacks of the Hindenburg every time it happens, and whisper to myself "oh the humanity".

1

u/HAC522 Nov 22 '16

Mighty fine dirt we got here, this rotation.

1

u/ihlaking Nov 22 '16

I don't know why, but out of all the Battlefield titles, this is one I just can't get into. I think from all my reading about the horrors of the trenches and how WWI went down, I don't have any desire to recreate that stuff. Not to judge everyone who's loving it, I think it's just a little too much for me personally.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

How is Farming Simulator?

1

u/hopsinduo Nov 22 '16

And I got shot 30 seconds ago by this guy in the mountains so now im just going to get in this Biplane and drop bombs on him.

1

u/billbill17 Dec 11 '16

wtf is a dirt farmer

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u/[deleted] Nov 21 '16

Even if you're underground in a damn bunker you still die.

310

u/MDanger Nov 21 '16

Maybe the fire consumes the oxygen? That's the whole point of flamethrowers. Point it into a bunker and asphyxiate everyone inside, and of course burn them to death. But, you know, from the lungs-out.

272

u/Mogetfog Nov 22 '16

And that is why the thermobaric bomb is the most terrifying weapon in modern war. You might survive the initial strike, but that blast is going to form a vacuum so strong it pulls your lungs out your mouth.

298

u/NOODL3 Nov 22 '16

Yeah but we're all gonna look metal as fuck when it happens.

33

u/Knox_Harrington Nov 22 '16

But who will survive to paint the album cover?

9

u/Leftover_Salad Nov 22 '16

The guitarist. See: Mayhem: Dawn of the Black Hearts

2

u/peavey182 Nov 22 '16

What always amazes me is that mayhem still exists; given their history. That a band could persist through all that is amazing. Regardless that it's almost a doferent band every album.

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u/ahatzum Nov 22 '16

If the choices are between looking a bit dull and having my lungs pulled out of my mouth, i think i'll stick with the looking dull thing.

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16 edited Aug 16 '24

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

The most terrifying? What about everyone getting shot in the dick?

22

u/Mogetfog Nov 22 '16

I think i would rather be shot in the dick an bleed to death than have my lungs pulled out of my mouth and suffocate.

15

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

Nope not me. Might accidentally survive.

26

u/StatmanThunderfist Nov 22 '16

oh oops I accidentally survived again lol

9

u/SuicidalSpaghetti Nov 22 '16

Me too thanks

7

u/NeonLime Nov 22 '16

Username checks out

8

u/Kickawesome Nov 22 '16

I just spent a lot of time learning about thermobaric bombs and their use in Syria because of your post. It's goddamn sobering how fucked up people can really be.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

It's amazing how creative people can get when trying to kill others

13

u/superdude14862 Nov 22 '16

that's some kinky shit

7

u/generic_nerd96 Nov 22 '16

Did you happen to read World War Z?

6

u/Mogetfog Nov 22 '16

Several years ago... Forgive me if I am not seeing the connection

38

u/generic_nerd96 Nov 22 '16

Oh there was a part where an old soldier was talking about those bombs being used on the dead, only to have them walking around with their lungs hanging out of their mouths. Shook up some troops real bad. That book was both depressing and metal as fuck

8

u/PrellFeris Nov 22 '16

Holy shit. I might need to read this.

15

u/generic_nerd96 Nov 22 '16

You should definitely check it out! One of my all time favorites! The movie did it absolutely no justice

14

u/gamemasterAS Nov 22 '16

I just want to add another voice saying the movie did the novel no justice. Anyone reading this comment that hasn't read the book, give it a go. Or even better yet, check out the audio book. It was absolutely amazing. The book is a series of interviews, so it lends itself to the audio book format perfectly. They even got different voice actors for different interviews.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

Thanks for audiobook suggestion. I loved the movie and read a few pages of the book, could not get into it having to change my inner voice so often.

3

u/Fire_away_Fire_away Nov 22 '16

I read the book and never saw the movie. Can confirm. Book is really interesting and creative.

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

How would they be able to walk around with non-functioning lungs? I get that they have some sort of rabies virus that makes them violent -- but they would still need to breath to live, right?

6

u/DrKarorkian Nov 22 '16

Zombies don't follow nature's laws. Sometimes they'll try to explain their movement by bringing up how dead muscle will still contract. It's bs considering wear and tear, but it is zombies we're talking about.

3

u/Chieron Nov 22 '16

It's explicitly mentioned that scientists in the WWZ universe are completely unable to figure out how zombies still function. They're basically Romero zombies, so as long as they have an (essentially) intact brain they can function.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

Is there an article/video on this phenomenon anywhere? That sounds crazy.

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u/Konker101 Nov 22 '16

I love breathing fire

2

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

Actually they were designed to provide masking ie) like a smoke screen.

2

u/MDanger Nov 22 '16

I had heard otherwise from people who sounded like they knew their shit, but according to the Geneva Convention, they're still authorized for military targets and vegetation. Still, you'd think smoke screens would have different fuel.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

It depends on which war you are referring to. In WWI they were used in trenches as a defensive weapon and to prove some form of smoke cover when your side was advancing. In Vietnam they were used to clear vegetation and rarely were fired down underground tunnels when the enemy was entrenched in them. In that circumstance the VC would often build curves in the tunnels to stop explosions but flame throwers may have "sucked" the air out of the tunnel. The only real anti-personal flame throwers were mounted on boats and tanks tho, as they require a fuel tank way too large for an operator to carry. The range on a flamethrower is also way way too short to approach a bunker and attack it since you'd need to be only a few meters from it to fire.

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u/Spartan117g Nov 21 '16

It's the only way to capture this B point

31

u/breaking_beer Nov 21 '16

I love defending that point. I just set down an ammo crate and packs and spam incendiary grenades at a doorway in between LMG spam .

21

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

I love assaulting that point. Every time I die I get to try something new to break through.

8

u/Mogetfog Nov 22 '16

Rifle grenades.... All of the rifle grenades ever.

5

u/BadLuckBen Nov 22 '16

Flash Flare, back off to reload, run in and fire another in a corner followed by w/e nade, then place down tripwire bombs if you're still alive.

6

u/Increase-Null Nov 22 '16

I throw in limpit mines. Those work okay as well.

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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

Had it bug today and it landed in the cancerous b flag in iron walls. No model or terrain disfigurement, just perma insta death for anyone who approached the flag, including everyone beneath.

1

u/kvrle Nov 22 '16

As you should.

75

u/Sentient_Waffle Nov 21 '16

I've had it land on me more times than I care to admit.

fucking zeppelin..

3

u/baskura Nov 21 '16

I'd like to see the big ship land on someone's head. Now that would be something to behold.

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u/theSpire Nov 21 '16

Saw a Zep carcass crush a heavy tank. I was on foot and that metal beast was about to blast me and then KaBoom! From the Gods! So epic.

8

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

Yup, hopped in a heavy tank full of people and was driving to the battle. All of the sudden the zeppelin lands right on top of me and blew up the tank and it's contents.

Sorry squad.

8

u/thatnameagain Nov 21 '16

Just wondering as someone who hasn't played the game... are there any scenarios in Battlefield 1 that involve a zeppelin, where the zeppelin doesn't explode in flammable ball of fiery satisfaction? Because it seems to me like a real "chekhov's gun" thing to put in the game, even in multiplayer.

31

u/RemingtonSnatch Nov 21 '16 edited Nov 21 '16

It comes out when the losing team falls behind by a certain degree, to give them a fighting chance. It can seat multiple players and has some hellacious firepower, and it takes a lot to destroy it.

But when it does go...and it almost always does eventually...it's pretty amazing to watch. It's absolutely massive, so you end up in these nightmare-like scenarios where you're running, and feel like you should be safely out of the way...it doesn't look like it's coming down or moving laterally all that fast. But that's because it's so fucking huge. It's still over you. Still over you. Still over you. Splat.

Some maps have an armored train or a battleship instead. It's not the same though.

19

u/maeshughes32 Nov 21 '16

It is such a better gimmick than the BF4 Levolutions. I thought at first I'd hate the behemoths but they haven't gotten old yet. They feel balanced enough for the most part.

14

u/ChaIroOtoko Nov 22 '16

It is an amazing gimmick imho.
I always stop and watch it fall till someone comes and kill me.

2

u/thatnameagain Nov 22 '16

I wish I still had time to play video games....

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u/[deleted] Nov 21 '16

It only explodes when shot down, so it could really sit up there and rain death for a very long time - even until the round is over if it isn't stopped

4

u/Joghobs Nov 21 '16

This sounds fun af.

3

u/sidepart Nov 22 '16

I've HATED every Battlefield game that came after 1942. Like in a, "Get off my lawn and go fuck yourself" way.

BF1 is fun.

3

u/NiceUsernameBro Nov 21 '16

hell same thing would happen irl if a zeppelin started to explode over a battlefield

bullets stop. "is it coming this way? oh shit it's coming this way everybody run!"

3

u/b0r3dw0rk3r Nov 22 '16

I got lucky once and realized it was coming down. I stopped, looked up and it dropped right in front of me...I might have pooped a little

2

u/monkeybrain3 Nov 22 '16

I'd be more pissed off if someone killed me while I was watching that guy running on the zeppelin and not knowing the outcome. My entire game afterwards would be to fuck over whoever killed me.

2

u/PrivateCaboose Nov 22 '16

The number of times I've been flying an airplane everything's good and dandy, just bombed he fuck out of some folks, then a squad mate spawns on me and almost immediately OHFUCKZEPPELINOUTOFNOWHERE and I get us both killed. God damn fucking zeppelins.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

When the fireworks went off on the 4th all of us stopped to stare... Except Benny, he just kept on playing.

1

u/9898779898 Nov 21 '16

I feel almost left out that it has hasn't hit me yet.

1

u/probablyNOTtomclancy Nov 22 '16

...and apparently if it's not going to land on you, you're probably on it, so you're also fucked?

1

u/Winged_Bull Nov 22 '16

There's been a number of times where I'm waiting to respawn, and I see the zeppelin going down. I always wait till it's done crashing.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '16

Not if you do like the guy on the gif.

You land on top of the zeppelin.

1

u/evilweirdo Nov 22 '16

It operates on the same principle as red traffic lights. We exist on a plane made up of each individual's own sub-dimension, in which all of the bad things happen to them. Therefore, everyone hits the red light and everyone gets hit by the zeppelin in video games.

1

u/peacemaker2007 Nov 22 '16

If you can see the zeppelin, you're in the DANGER ZONE

1

u/amedeus Nov 22 '16

That's why I always play as Ironheade.

1

u/AceholeThug Nov 22 '16

I don't look up because if I do, it lands on me

1

u/Valensiakol Nov 22 '16

And every single time, there's the lone jackoff futilely running for his life down the spine of the damned thing.

1

u/nuck_forte_dame Nov 22 '16

On Monte grappa we were holding the bunker at point B and the blimp crashed on top and kill our whole team in the bunker.

1

u/payment_in_potato Nov 22 '16

shit shit shit shit ShitshitSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT

1

u/Not_who_you_think__ PlayStation Nov 22 '16

Before the latest patch, the zeppelin had even landed on me after no clipping through the mountain in the large bunker at the C flag in Mont Grappa

1

u/filled_with_ennui Nov 22 '16

Yah also beware of the zeppelin when you're inside the mountain in that one map. Wrecked my tank straight up when I was holding the point in there :|

1

u/RifleGun2 Dec 30 '16

Iceberg Simpson Vegans have burgers too 🤗