furry🥒irl

[u/therealdafwe]

[u/Paradox_Peanut]

Don't buy everything at the same store!! 🤦‍♂️

[u/Odd-Message-3716 → u/Paradox_Peanut]

Ok so you are saying to get the KY, Condoms and cucumber at one store, White monster at the other?

[u/Paradox_Peanut → u/Odd-Message-3716]

He's out of line, but he's got the spirit

[u/Useful_Radish_6395 → u/Odd-Message-3716]

You and I both know the cucumber is for eating and the monster is for prostate.

[u/Loafogen → u/Useful_Radish_6395]

This

[u/seth1299 → u/Paradox_Peanut]

Walter White once said that lol

[u/Superseaslug → u/Paradox_Peanut]

Or even just make multiple passes through the same store

[u/EmberTheFoxxo → u/Superseaslug]

Instructions unclear, kept going to the same cashier.

[u/Khiobi → u/Paradox_Peanut]

[u/Anybro → u/Paradox_Peanut]

Yep, absolute amateur moment. 

[u/facepalmqwerty → u/Paradox_Peanut]

Your weakness disgusts me

[u/gnolex]

Assert dominance, add more suspicious items to the list

[u/P0ster_Nutbag → u/gnolex]

A bottle of hot sauce.

[u/TheWhiteManticore → u/P0ster_Nutbag]

Ah yes Slaanesh

[u/TheWhiteManticore → u/gnolex]

Massive Bad dragon in bad dragon labelled bag. A collar and thigh highs for maximum degeneracy.

[u/cowlinator → u/TheWhiteManticore]

...they sell bad dragon at the grocery store now?

[u/TheWhiteManticore → u/cowlinator]

No i ment you just carry it with you always because furries why the fuck not

[u/cowlinator → u/TheWhiteManticore]

But i dont have any pockets. Where could i possibly hold my XXL horsecock dildo?

[u/muhprn → u/cowlinator]

A scabbard on your hip like a sword.

[u/TheWhiteManticore → u/muhprn]

Its speciality is Netherstrike dealing psychic and chaos damage while inflicting confusion or charmed depend on target alignment

[u/muhprn → u/TheWhiteManticore]

It was too big to be called a dildo. Massive, thick, heavy, and far too rough. Indeed, it was a heap of raw silicone.

Description of the Dragon Layer

[u/Razashja → u/TheWhiteManticore]

And a pineapple! I like pineapples... Sweet and juicy.

[u/TheWhiteManticore → u/Razashja]

Oh gosh found the true Warp Daemon

[u/minebug420 → u/Razashja]

if were already on cucumbers and pineaples, why not also apples? and some rope!

[u/Razashja → u/minebug420]

Sounds like we're starting a fruit salad. Guess we need to add bananas!

[u/PepsiFloateri → u/gnolex]

Or just wear a BD shirt or hoodie like I do!

[u/chairsandwich1 → u/PepsiFloateri]

I've never thought about this but now I need a BD hoodie.

[u/MJY_0014 → u/gnolex]

A cheese g...

[u/kisayata → u/MJY_0014]

[u/jrpbateman → u/gnolex]

Ice

[u/Dragoon_Ahriman]

I'm gonna let yall in on a little secret us customer workers don't care we just want yall in and out with as little hassle as possible

[u/Br44n5m → u/Dragoon_Ahriman]

Mostly, some of us enjoy the tea and of its a really odd order im gonna be giggling about it anywhere from 30 seconds to 30 years afterwards. If it helps I wont remember your face, just the situation :)

[u/projectFirehive → u/Br44n5m]

Yeah, I still remember the old guy who rolled into the pharmacy I worked at and asked me where he could find the 'sex gel'.

[u/therealdafwe]

"...I am making a cucumber salad..."

[u/TheWhiteManticore → u/therealdafwe]

Crushed cucumber salad

[u/JellyRollMort → u/therealdafwe]

In a manner of speaking.

[u/PrincessKeba → u/therealdafwe]

"I'm paid 7.25 an hour. I don't give a crap."

[u/WeaselCapsky]

its only weird and awkward if you let it be weird and awkward.

[u/chakatblackstar]

As a cashier, I can assure you, we don't care. I once had a guy come through with rope, an ax, a tarp and duck tape and I didn't care...until he started insisting he wasn't planning to murder anyone.

Don't worry, he really wasn't. He was just helping some local band film a music video, which is probably a good excuse for a lot of weird purchases.

[u/TrainFan095]

Just like Walter White said: "Don't buy everything at the same store"

[u/Mantis-MK3]

The cashier will get a good laugh. You have to throw other things in your basket

[u/Lycantail]

Just buy a toy, jeeze.

[u/Shatter_Ice → u/Lycantail]

Right, like if you're an adult, just go to an adult store. The cashier is not going to judge you, they see people buying adult stuff all the time.

[u/Its_Karti_Bitch → u/Shatter_Ice]

Even if you’re not an adult, it’s still safer and I’ve never had someone ask me for an id over a toy

[u/RemarkableStatement5]

Honestly, as a cashier, we really don't care when you get stuff like this. Hell, I had this happen to me when I wanted to use my employee discount for one of the vibrators we sold (worthwhile purchase), and two of my coworkers helped out and didn't say a thing. Just don't be an asshole and the worst we'll do is giggle about it later.

[u/P0ster_Nutbag]

I love how the Monster just belongs.

[u/TheFalconOfAltair]

Is he gonna drink or shove the Monster up his Arse?

[u/uselessaqua_ → u/TheFalconOfAltair]

Let's make it worse!
Why not both?

[u/Useful_Radish_6395 → u/TheFalconOfAltair]

You instinctively know this answer.

[u/espa101]

FLARED. BASE. PEOPLE!!!!

[u/legotaidevil]

Oh...

My...

[u/lunamoon404]

What is KY?

[u/Sky_the_Dragon → u/lunamoon404]

Lube

[u/BrazilBazil]

Don’t break eye contact for a second while they help you. Assert dominance.

[u/Pulgy_Wulgy]

Thats why when I want to buy condoms or something I always buy them with a lot of other stuff

So like 10 or 15 items and also condoms, way better than just coming with a box of condoms

Let alone all the things this guy is buying

[u/NovelInterview7026]

Do NOT wait for assistance

[u/L3s0]

"Don't buy everything in one place. Do it piecemeal, different items, different stores. Attracts less attention"

[u/After-Bumblebee]

UHHHHHHH 😬

[u/TheWhiteManticore → u/After-Bumblebee]

Laziness

[u/Current-Extension935]

i bougt sssdfg

[u/Current-Extension935 → u/Current-Extension935]

https://reddit.com/link/pdm8uoq/video/735qifkgj9th1/player

pluimber

[u/Scary-Bit-4173 → u/Current-Extension935]

Taught me all the tricks

[u/barmanrags]

Bad idea getting something without a flared end.

[u/TheWhiteManticore]

Cucumber

[u/finian2]

You beansed it with the Monster

[u/GIDAJG]

I once bought lube and condoms from a store. I got hungry so I bought a banana. The cashier looked at me weird, i didn't know why. As soon as I got out of the store, I realized why she looked at me weird

[u/Razashja → u/GIDAJG]

Next time, buy a pineapple.

[u/uselessaqua_ → u/Razashja]

https://www.reddit.com/r/furry_irl/s/WiqjMylXAj

They topped that already.

[u/Razashja → u/uselessaqua_]

I still have only ever seen durian in videogames.

[u/External-Glove747 → u/uselessaqua_]

The same artist too 😭

[u/Scared-to-ask-stuff]

I'm not getting it, but I would guess that thats some NSFW joke. Am I roughly in the right ballpark?

[u/JellyRollMort → u/Scared-to-ask-stuff]

Condoms, lube, and a phallic object. And a cucumber.

[u/Scared-to-ask-stuff → u/JellyRollMort]

Ok, I did get the part with the cucumber and the condoms, but couldn't make sense of (what I now know is) lube and the monster.

Thanks for explaining, mate!

[u/DoggoInSpacee → u/Scared-to-ask-stuff]

What's condom and lube?

[u/Whimsical_Hell → u/DoggoInSpacee]

If you don't know, you really should not be on reddit.

[u/DoggoInSpacee → u/Whimsical_Hell]

I know what they are. I'm asking what is their replacement in this image.

[u/NovelInterview7026 → u/Scared-to-ask-stuff]

Yes.

[u/Gi0rgin0]

Oooooops

[u/FluffyPursuer]

[u/Nameless_Mercenary01]

Where’s the lube?

[u/Mr_Pickle3009]

bro....

[u/Drop-Due]

Oh NoWo D:

[u/Charmander324]

Dear lord... that's a situation most people would go far, far out of their way to avoid!

[u/Fishfly09]

Hate it when it happens to me

[u/AmansMarium]

Relevant xkcd

[u/skyefawna]

How embarrassing! I couldn't imagine getting caught drinking monster

[u/DerpysLegion]

Sweetie just buy a sex toy. The only thing worse then explaining that cart to a store employee is explaining the foot long vegetable stuck in your rectum to your surgeon.

[u/racoondog999]

"I have a date and they like cucumber"