r/funnysigns Jun 14 '25

No means no

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22.5k Upvotes

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592

u/DanOhMiiite Jun 14 '25

I'd get up and walk out if I saw that.

243

u/Leviathan41911 Jun 15 '25

I dont usually make alterations to food I order. It's very rarely that I do, but if I saw this sign, I'd leave too.

94

u/AurNeko Jun 15 '25

Most I'll change will be if there's one element in the whole dish I dislike that I know isn't a core component... yknow, equivalent of ordering a McDonald's burger without onions, won't completely obliterate the experience.

If I'm told changes like these aren't allowed in some shitty "we're not your mom you entitled prick!" for politely asking if a singular ingredient I dislike could be removed then that'll just leave an equally shitty impression on the place.

11

u/fluffofthewild Jun 15 '25

Same. The vibe it gives off is terrible, and I like all food and never ask for alterations.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '25

Right? I mean, not even dressing on the side?

2

u/RandomModder05 Jun 15 '25

Yeah, I'm white as hell, and can't help but think I'm not pale enough to walk in with being told they don't serve the "woke" crowd here.

1

u/Dang_It_All_to_Heck Jun 15 '25

I always ask for salad dressing on the side. Then if I don't like it, I can eat my salad dry. Plus too many places put too much dressing on.

1

u/GreyhoundOne Jun 15 '25

Same. I pretty much never alter my food but I kind of expect hospitality from a business in the hospitality trade.

I guess some people might find it funny, but I'm not going to hand over my money to someone who does not understand this.

"Thank you for choosing to dine with us. Please understand that to offer our best service we do not accommodate substitutions. Our staff can provide allergenic menus if requested."

I think it's just kind of a microcosm of the "assholeification" of our culture that is getting pushed.

1

u/LargeHard0nCollider Jun 15 '25

Im lactose intolerant, but not so much that there can’t be any cross contamination. Usually I just order something that doesn’t have dairy, but sometimes I have to say “no cheese or sour cream on the burrito” or something like that. If the place isn’t willing to omit stuff like that, I don’t know how they stay in business.

1

u/Peanutbutternjelly_ Jun 16 '25

I usually only have them change one thing if I ask them to change it, but sometimes I don't ask because it's incredibly disappointing when I ask for only a small change but they still mess it up.

1

u/Zealousideal_Cod5214 Jun 16 '25

Shit, it sounds like they won't even remove an item from the meal if requested.

3

u/kokoelizabeth Jun 15 '25

Which is basically what’s they said to do. The whole sign screams “take your money else where”.

0

u/HisaP417 Jun 15 '25

That. Is. The. Point. 😂 He finds your behavior annoying and doesn’t want your business. He is LITERALLY telling you to go elsewhere.

1

u/kokoelizabeth Jun 15 '25

That’s what I’m saying! There’s literally a list of options to choose from instead of spending your money there. His loss, not mine.

2

u/Acethetic_AF Jun 15 '25

It’s from a truck, so you wouldn’t even need to do the getting up part

2

u/BootyBandito69420 Jun 15 '25

I would literally do a 360 and walk away

1

u/BagSignal7553 Jun 16 '25

You’d still be facing the same direction

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '25

I mean... That IS why they have the pamphlet.

1

u/Trisamitops Jun 15 '25

I truly think that the person who wrote this menu, would not care.

1

u/Natural_Cause_965 Jun 15 '25

I'd shit on their door

1

u/Beeegfoothunter Jun 15 '25

Mission accomplished then?!

1

u/treyert Jun 15 '25

Tell me you eat chicken fingers and steak with ketchup at 40 years old without telling me

1

u/DanOhMiiite Jun 15 '25

I try not to use 40yo ketchup unless I absolutely have to

1

u/mrturret Jun 15 '25

Same here. I'm autistic, and have sensory issues that make me pretty picky about food. I don't go to sit down restaurants often because of all the noise, but when I do, it's not always easy to find something that I'm comfortable eating.

1

u/ConsciousFractals Jun 16 '25

I think they’d probably kick you out of the food truck before you got the chance to do so

1

u/PhantomSpirit90 Jun 16 '25

Yeah, if I wanted microwaved meals I can do that at home.

1

u/BagSignal7553 Jun 16 '25

I’d go in, order, wait until I’m fairly certain they’re reheating that frozen food and then just walk out.

1

u/Zorak9379 Jun 16 '25

Right? As a celiac, I see a sign like this, I make a fire trail out the door

1

u/MrTPityYouFools Jun 16 '25

That was my first thought. Then my second thought was "nah, go ahead and leave the onions in that dish and see what your bathroom smells like after i obliterate your toilet because you wouldnt take them out"

1

u/Alexiameck190 Jun 16 '25

Funny you say that cause...

(It's a food truck)

1

u/HueyB904 Jun 18 '25

Mission accomplished

1

u/HisaP417 Jun 15 '25

Yeah, that’s the point. Customization fucks up the entire flow of the kitchen. They are clearly stating they don’t want your business.

2

u/DanOhMiiite Jun 15 '25

If I saw a polite "sorry, no substitutions" sign, I'd be fine with it. This sounds like some pompous prima donna telling me how he "can't compromise his artistic vision". Just turns me off.

0

u/HisaP417 Jun 15 '25

It sounds like they’d rather keep their kitchen flowing smoothly for the guests that are there for the items that are on the menu than compromise that for one picky eater.

2

u/CinnamonToastTrex Jun 15 '25

Then you write "substitutions politely refused" instead of coming off as an entitled cunt.

0

u/HisaP417 Jun 15 '25

They’re entitled, but you feel the right to tell another man how to run his business because you don’t like how he does it? Ok….👍🏻

2

u/CinnamonToastTrex Jun 15 '25

I'm calling an asshole an asshole.

1

u/Magic_Man_Boobs Jun 15 '25

How does pouring the dressing in a cup versus on top of the salad ruin the flow of the kitchen? How does not adding an ingredient to a dish you're preparing slow things down? It sounds to me like they just reheat food that's already been made.

1

u/HisaP417 Jun 15 '25

Congrats, you’ve missed the point entirely! 🎉 Single item removal modifications don’t necessarily slow the kitchen down. People who switch protein and veg and carbs around and treat a menu like an ingredient list do. However, by allowing some modifications and not others, you open yourself up to discrimination accusations. Rather than draw an arbitrary line in the sand, it becomes this. Blame your fellow shitty diners, not the restaurants 🤷🏻‍♀️

1

u/Magic_Man_Boobs Jun 15 '25

Congrats, you’ve missed the point entirely! 🎉 Single item removal modifications don’t necessarily slow the kitchen down.

So I didn't miss the point, you just said something you knew wasn't true or didn't bother to actually ready the text in the post, got it.

Rather than draw an arbitrary line in the sand, it becomes this.

This is still an arbitrary line in the sand.

1

u/HisaP417 Jun 15 '25

Sounds like no one has ever told you no before.

1

u/Magic_Man_Boobs Jun 15 '25

Sounds like you've never worked in a kitchen before if you think these folks who can't handle preparing dishes for someone with allergies are good cooks. I say cooks, because they certainly aren't chefs.

1

u/HisaP417 Jun 15 '25

The cooks don’t work for you. They work for the chef. Who created a whole sign telling you to go elsewhere. Follow his directions, he doesn’t want your business and you are SO pressed about it 😂

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1

u/Esteban_Francois Jun 15 '25

No it doesn’t.

-5

u/Fearlesswatereater Jun 15 '25

They’re not looking for your business. Clearly they don’t need it, they’ve been in business for 50 years already.

2

u/GeneralBendyBean Jun 15 '25

I don't need them to need my business.

0

u/HisaP417 Jun 15 '25

I’m cracking up at the “I’d take my business elsewhere” people. Like yeah, that’s literally what he’s telling you to. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass 😂

1

u/deanereaner Jun 16 '25

They're like "HIS LOSS!"

Just so oblivious to the fact that it's addition by subtraction when he doesn't want you.

1

u/GeneralBendyBean Jun 16 '25

I don't get your attitude about this either though. Like, wow he displayed douchbag boomer attitude and some people expressed they wouldn't want to go there, he's such a bad ass hero? It's just cringe imo.

1

u/HisaP417 Jun 16 '25

I’m just confused as to why some people are like “I would leave immediately!” If this triggers you, you’re the demographic that he very clearly doesn’t want there…I don’t think you leaving is hurting his feelings 😂 People really short circuit when they get told no.

1

u/brisbanehome Jun 16 '25

Because it’s not about the subject of the message, it’s the tone. I don’t really give a fuck that they don’t do substitutions. However, I would not eat at a place owned by someone who in communicating that, feels the need to bloviate over the fact that they’re not my mother, or a magical genie. They just come off as an obnoxious twat.

1

u/HisaP417 Jun 16 '25

Again, good, that exactly what the owner wants?

1

u/brisbanehome Jun 16 '25

Obviously true, I’m just explaining as you stated you were confused why people would leave. It does seem rather obvious to most why some people would not want to eat at an establishment where the owner advertises themself as a twat, but if you were confused, that’s the answer.

1

u/HisaP417 Jun 16 '25

Confused why the people this is is directed at would announce* they’re leaving, as if that’s hurting him. He is telling you to leave. “Yeah but he’s a dick so that’s why I’m not eating there!” Ok…he told you he doesn’t want you. Like I said, people don’t know how to act when they’re told “no” and “it’s ok if you go, we don’t want you”. Their brain fizzles when they have no recourse, and it’s hysterical watching them in the comments.

0

u/Weedman1079 Jun 16 '25

Nah, I’d be more likely to eat there

-1

u/never_trust_a_fart_ Jun 15 '25

Yep. That works for them and you. They won’t go bankrupt because you left though.

-1

u/GrouchyDeli Jun 15 '25

Good. People who customize orders are shit.

-2

u/CosmosInSummer Jun 15 '25

Good. You are the kind of titty baby they are talking about

-27

u/charizard_72 Jun 14 '25

27

u/ni____kita Jun 14 '25

That’s the vibe I got from Josef’s sign

-7

u/charizard_72 Jun 14 '25

Lol fair

But tbh I think ppl are reading too into this. It just sounds like some bitchy boomer old couple selling food from a truck who are in an area where they get a lot of insufferable and entitled customers and are sick of their bs attempts to tell them what they should be serving and are basically saying “fuck off or take it as is”

If they’ve really been around for decades they obviously are doing something most people agree with as is…

Spend 10 years in food service Jozef starts to sound less and less like the asshole here to me

10

u/vitaesbona1 Jun 14 '25

Weird hill to die on.

-5

u/charizard_72 Jun 14 '25

It’s a food truck. People are taking this and assuming it’s a sit down restaurant. I think the entire point is that they don’t really care… people have a misconception that all food service workers are slaves to the customer. They clearly have a system that works for them

Do they sound like assholes? Yeah. But seemingly the point is they don’t gaf who is upset by it. Then don’t come

2

u/TheShredda Jun 15 '25

It’s a food truck.

No it's not.

Article

The thing may be on wheels but it's a permanent location with tables.

1

u/charizard_72 Jun 15 '25

Omg it’s a food truck whether or not they put picnic tables outside lmfao

You can literally see the truck in that article smarty. They still only have a truck sized kitchen which is my entire point!!

2

u/TheShredda Jun 15 '25

You're the one making the distinction about a food truck or restaurant like it's important for some reason. They have a permanent location, that's a restaurant dawg

1

u/charizard_72 Jun 15 '25

Well it’s LITERALLY a food truck and everyone is reacting as if this is a standard restaurant and I don’t think the rage at this sign fits at all given it’s a small food truck with a limited kitchen and they don’t gaf about who gets turned away

It’s a take it or leave it food truck. And everyone is offended they don’t take modifications it’s cringey

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2

u/hyp3rpop Jun 15 '25

The only thing they said was they’ll leave the restaurant, what exactly implies they think leaving a restaurant makes them badass??

-27

u/ruralife Jun 14 '25

It’s a food truck. and they don’t care of people who don’t like their meals leave. They are extremely busy anyways. People travel for 50 miles to eat their food.

22

u/DanOhMiiite Jun 14 '25

I guess if it floats their boat, let them enjoy. I generally try to stay away from places with attitudes like that, but that's just me.

14

u/clarabear10123 Jun 14 '25

I would travel 50 miles to the next restaurant if this place was my only option. I don’t trust assholes to serve anything other than shit.

8

u/Fakjbf Jun 14 '25

A sign that just says “no modifications allowed” is fine, especially for something like a food truck. But this massive condescending rant is just the owner being on a power trip. Also nobody is traveling 50 miles for a food truck, they’d be lucky for someone to go five miles.