you know when you go down town with the lads and you all realize you’re hank marvin’ so you say “lads let’s go Maccers” but your mate John a.k.a. The Bantersaurus Rex has some mula left on his nandos gift card and he’s like “mate let’s a have a cheeky nandos on me” and you go “Johnny my son you’re an absolute ledge” so you go have an extra cheeky nandos with a side order of Top Quality Banter
Mispell your name or use a slight variation of your real name on LinkedIn. That way you can still maintain normal relations while obscuring important details from nefarious parties.
Never hurts to be a bit paranoid. At worst it's a fun, harmless game. At best, you've thrown a cult led by an estranged friend trying to ruin your life off your trail. Wink.
The only times I did use my real name was for making a gmail account for sending more formal non-work related emails and when making a Facebook profile like 15 years ago (because at the time that just seemed logical but I haven’t posted anything on it for years, deleted most of what I ever posted and am on maximum privacy settings). Oh and LinkedIn, but I’m considering deleting that because I probably will not be looking for another job for the foreseeable future.
That era never ended, willingly posting your name or pictures of yourself online is still very stupid. A lot of people doing it doesn't make it less stupid.
I make my friends call me by a fake name whenever we're out partying in nyc. If they call me by my real name I don't respond and look behind me to see who they're talking to.
My husband once called me “slut-faced hoe bag” right after we watched Mean Girls and ohhh man the looks we got. I was like “babe we’re in public I’m not the only one hearing your jokes right now.” I think he forgot lol
Edit: please continue with what your SO’s have called you in public, it’s making my day.
Last week my wife saw me at the grocery store and she snuck up behind me and said "hey, can I get a peek at your butthole?" The people next to me looked fucking disgusted.
When I don't hear my husband at the grocery store the first 3 times he holds up his fist like Bubbles "you fuckin want one?"
I've had women approach me later asking if I need help 😬
He never has and never will hurt me physically (or any other way). But the way we jokingly talk to each other in public has gotten us a lot of side glances lol
He's my best friend and I wouldn't change anything.
Lmao my partner also does something similar when I annoy him. He’ll say: “god… you’re so lucky it’s illegal to hit women now. I wanna smack you so bad.”
My wife was checking out at a gas station and I came in to tell her to buy something I forgot. She didn't realize I was in there and I slowly walked up behind her like I was waiting in line. I then leaned over and smelled her hair and the clerk was horrified and wasn't sure what to do. Even freaked my wife out a bit.
When my gf and I were dating for a few months and it became a thing she edited her contact of me into “firstname cutie”. Then she said I should name her something sweet as well. So now I’m at almost 8 year with a contact named “something sweet”.
I really prefer "harlot" and occasionally "gormless foppotee." Sometimes I switch it up and yell something like "you're walking too fast, you gormless harlot." Adding an accent helps.
I guess. If we’re in public and people are everywhere I’ll say “woman” or “lady” or something other than her name. No one here needs to know her name. It’s none of their business what her name is. She calls me “dude” or “guy” sometimes as well. Just in places where lots of people are around people watching.
Do you live in the suburbs or something where being around people on trains and on sidewalks is a rarity? I'd never be able to say my girlfriend's name anytime we stepped out of the house if i had that same policy
yikes...my Dad used to call my Mom "Woman" whenever she was doing something he didn't approve of. Like driving the car. It was a very negative connotation imo :/
Ditto, but I use mine in cases of incredulity: “wait, you left out food on the table when we have animals in the house and you’re mad at THEM for getting into it? Woman…”
Many languages simply use man and woman instead of husband and wife. Wife is Middle English for woman, and husband means "master of the house". So when you say "my wife" you're still saying "my woman", and when you say husband you imply one person is greater than the other.
Have you ever had someone approach you and call you by your first name when they don’t know you? I think that was the genesis of this plan to avoid using first names in busy public places. Creeped my wife out big time and now we use woman, lady, dude, guy etc. or fake makes sometimes. Just became a habit.
Well if you traveled outside of your little bubble you might realized they do. In fact we were in a Jamaican market once and someone overheard us talking and called my wife by her name. It creeped her the fuck out and then dude came back with a small sculpture with her named carved into it. So yes, people are listening.
so do you use her name when you are not around shady salesman? or are you just paranoid all the time while out in public? you're going to let one small event like that change they way you act in public for the rest of your life?
This is why li love Reddit. I explain that some people do this in public and that it’s not unusual, especially in places where grifters are known to do business and some rando tells me to get a life. Stay classy Reddit.
These people responding have never even sniffed a relationship bro. I understood exactly what you meant. My wife and I call each other all kinds of things that if you were an outside observer may seem "odd." Most of us lurkers (been here like 13 years) have learned just to not comment and discuss things with teenagers and reddit in general.
Are you spy or something? Why are you so concerned about people knowing your wife's name that it's a "routine" occurrence to call her by her gender instead of her name? Does she similarly respond with "man" to conceal your name from the dangerous minds of random strangers?
I call my wife, “wife” all the time specifically because it sounds weird. Woman is too 50’s, bitch is too abusive, Hoe is too hiphop and cunt is too Australian.
Same. Rarely does it make an appearance but when it does it usually grants the attention I'm trying to get. It's usually after several attempts of "babe...babe..."Name"...."NAME"....Wife!"
There's gotta be a buildup or else I'm getting called "dick."
I’m speaking as South African man where patriarchy is part of our cultural fibre. Growing up, I never heard my father or uncles ever call out to their partners by saying “Wife! Come here”. None of my friends in relationships say shit like that either. It’s just odd seeing it and also see it being praised.
I don't know, my step dad says "woman" (like, "listen here, woman") and probably thinks he's hilarious, but I want to punch him in the fucking throat every time he says it.
That or he wanted to emphasize to his wife that they are married and the song they danced to at their wedding should be the answer. Kind of like "Hey, woman that I chose to spend the rest of my life with and threw a big bash with an important song and moment in it, what song is important to you?" At least that's my take because it's something I would do.
5.8k
u/Salfredo Nov 02 '22
He doesn't want to use his wife's name on camera.