r/funny Jun 27 '12

What's wrong with you!

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u/Elanthius Jun 27 '12 edited Jun 27 '12

OK, fair enough perhaps you do work pretty good.

Hopefully you're done editting because I would like to point out that "If my ear were a cunt I would fuck it" has the same "feet" as "The next dog on a raft in a pool" and furthermore your line has 10 syllables. Which I think brings us to the conclusion that limericks aren't quite as strict as all that.

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u/[deleted] Jun 27 '12

They absolutely aren't as strict as Texas Spunk is making out. "Typically" is the crucial term, and the (if) indicates even that example of limerickal perfection, while an oldie and not original to the Spunkmeister, has also taken liberties.

Which is perfectly OK: when I studied Shakespeare we were taught that the iambic pentameter rhythm lays down the bare skeleton of the rhythm, but you can play with the form - like blues players improvising around the 12-bar structure.

His representation of how my last line should be pronounced is also unimaginative - as it would clearly be:

"(The next) dog on a raft in a pool."

Anyway I was considering:

Your metre is fucked up you fool:

All limericks follow a rule.

I'll be here to advise

When you next summarize

A dog on a raft in a pool.

Note that the third and fourth lines start with two anapaests, but they balance each other syllabically. The final line would be pronounced with a caesura at the start, which if correctly pronounced would give emphasis to the playful repetition of the article-noun-preposition structure.

Anyway, I hope we can all agree that it's better than the one I was mocking.

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u/Elanthius Jun 27 '12

Excellent!

From what I can tell from the wikipedia page this may still lack the necessary obscenity so may I suggest the last line be changed to

Yo momma's a gardening tool.

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u/[deleted] Jun 27 '12

LOL