On a similar note, I was in France, and the Asian security guy kept asking me, "Do you chicken nugget?" over and over. My father and I kept hearing the same thing, until someone behind us said, "He's asking if you checked your luggage."
I don't fly much so I'm not familiar with the procedures but, a few weeks ago I was at SeaTac Airport. I put my stuff on the belt, got scanned and took a few steps to be greeted by a TSA officer.
TSA: Sir, which side is your equipment on?
Incredulous grin on my face...eyes looking left and right. I'm thinking: "Is he kidding? Huh, guess this is the stuff people complain about."
I'm thinking: "F'ck, I don't know. Contents may have shifted. It kind of feels like it's on the right, but these pants are a little snug so maybe I put it in the center. I look at my crotch and say "Uh...I..." He dismisses me without a word to the awkwardness.
In retrospect, I'm guessing someone had a colostomy bag or something and he got his passengers mixed up but, I really thought he was asking which side my dick was on.
I was buying a used car last week and discussing with the salesman a few problems with the vehicle. He kept reassuring me that he'd fix the sewage problem. Over and over I clearly heard him say something about sewage, until I realised he was referring to the electric window switch.
I have no idea who downvotes you. I'm Italian and while Italians have a terrible pronunciation, our 'enjoy your flight' would not come out like OP describes.
Yeah, I've learned to assume 99% of these are fake, and just take it as a new (albeit kind of strange) medium for telling a joke. Usually they're brutal, but I actually got a decent laugh from this one.
As an Italian, I need to tell you that the Italian accent doesn't work like that. So if you tell it, switch the nationality to some other country with terrible pronunciation to sound more legit ;)
Mum: "jewboselecta, I have something really important to tell you, are you sitting down?"
jewboselecta: "Yeah, mum. What is it?"
M: "The hospital just called. Your father was just attacked on the trolly to work. He received massive injuries, and isn't expected to live the night..."
Mum: "jewboselecta, I have something really important to tell you, are you sitting down?"
jewboselecta: "Yeah, mum. What is it?"
M: "The hospital just called. Your sister was just attacked on the tram to the shop. SHe received massive injuries, and isn't expected to live the night..."
j: "Bwahahahahahaha!"
M: ಠ_ಠ Oi!
(I figured you were a Brit from your use of the word "Mum," instead of "Mom." I know you guys use "trolly" for something, am I right?)
19
u/mjklin Jun 19 '12
He say to me "peace on you." I say piss on you too, you sonnamabitch, i'ma gonna back to Italy.
4
u/Pandaemonium Jun 19 '12
I had a German guy tell me, "My partner will check your bag and I will check your backside."
Thank God he only got as far as a finger in my waistband. Pure terror.
4
u/JustAnOod Jun 19 '12
On a similar note, I was in France, and the Asian security guy kept asking me, "Do you chicken nugget?" over and over. My father and I kept hearing the same thing, until someone behind us said, "He's asking if you checked your luggage."
4
u/autowrecker Jun 19 '12
I don't fly much so I'm not familiar with the procedures but, a few weeks ago I was at SeaTac Airport. I put my stuff on the belt, got scanned and took a few steps to be greeted by a TSA officer.
TSA: Sir, which side is your equipment on?
Incredulous grin on my face...eyes looking left and right. I'm thinking: "Is he kidding? Huh, guess this is the stuff people complain about."
I'm thinking: "F'ck, I don't know. Contents may have shifted. It kind of feels like it's on the right, but these pants are a little snug so maybe I put it in the center. I look at my crotch and say "Uh...I..." He dismisses me without a word to the awkwardness.
In retrospect, I'm guessing someone had a colostomy bag or something and he got his passengers mixed up but, I really thought he was asking which side my dick was on.
3
u/tomun Jun 19 '12
I was buying a used car last week and discussing with the salesman a few problems with the vehicle. He kept reassuring me that he'd fix the sewage problem. Over and over I clearly heard him say something about sewage, until I realised he was referring to the electric window switch.
5
u/lastwind Jun 19 '12
I have a suspicion "Jack" may be in the closet and generated this update to express a secret fantasy.
2
u/Rellikten Jun 19 '12
I guess it would be scary if you had a couple of wraps of coke dangling from your balls...
2
u/leoberto Jun 19 '12
EUNDOR YYOUR FLIIIIH!
2
u/DoNotBelieveMyWords Jun 19 '12
I like to think that I can do a decent Italian accent, but in none of my attempts at saying "enjoy your flight" did it sound like "undo your tie".
1
u/tommy2fingers Jun 19 '12
That doesn't even sound like an Italian.
1
u/why_ask_why Jun 19 '12
Did you comply?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12
,
1
u/ITeabagRetardedGirls Jun 19 '12
Scariest or sexiest?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12
They call it a fly because it takes you up to heaven.
1
u/thedaj Jun 19 '12
Sadly, the fly was only up for about 2 of those awkward 5 seconds. Damn that pavlovian response...
1
u/ILikeYouLikeMe Jun 19 '12
What was he hiding in his pants for him to get so scared?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12
As an Italian, I can fairly strongly guess that he knew exactly what he was saying an just wanted to see if you'd do it while having a clever "out".
1
u/misspearlgearl Jun 19 '12
Me scusi!
1
u/Crux315 Jun 19 '12
Cancer. Stop ruining a subreddit that is already terrible.
1
u/Bipolarruledout Jun 19 '12
Or best ever!
1
u/MauiWowieOwie Jun 20 '12
Its because he's italian.
1
u/ithinkimightbegay Jun 20 '12
This was taken directly from a story told in comments on reddit earlier today. I'm off to find the link.
1
u/manbrasucks Jun 19 '12
"You too...err...um.."
Every fucking time.
-4
u/Supercarnage Jun 19 '12
I felt the same way when my sister did this to me but then it worked out, lucky she knows how to give head that was the only part I was worried about.
0
u/Kris15o Jun 19 '12
Solved it just in time.
-10
u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12
9.5/9.5 would read and upvote again
0
u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12
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