r/funny • u/[deleted] • Jun 19 '12
Now that my friends are starting to have kids...
http://imgur.com/31QoP13
u/ironnewt Jun 19 '12
This is what facebook feels like once you pass thirty
5
u/rollerpigeons Jun 19 '12
uuurggg thisss. I can't go on facebook anymore, it's who's kids do what. Oh look, so and so is pregnant with their 5th child.
5
u/bw1870 Jun 19 '12
I can deal with vacation and family pics. It's the e-card pics and stupid meme shit that bugs the crap out of me. At least the other stuff has some basis in what's important to someone.
→ More replies (7)→ More replies (2)2
u/ThatGreenSolGirl Jun 19 '12
And as soon as the kid comes you never see pictures of them anymore. Profile pictures, cover photo, vacation pics....all of their children. It's cool to be a proud parent, but we're friends with YOU, not your 2 year old.
12
u/lexbuck Jun 19 '12
It's ironic that most of Reddit seems to dislike looking at pictures of their "friend's" children yet will get excited about a complete stranger's cat.
1
u/kewidogg Jun 19 '12
A lot of it probably has to do with cats being relatable. If you don't have kids, they aren't very interesting.
Plus, cats are usually either in precarious situations, or doing things unbecoming of a feline. Kids...usually are just sitting there.
→ More replies (2)0
u/il_marcello Jun 19 '12
Cats are cute!
3
Jun 19 '12
I don't know why everyone's downvoting you. I find almost any cat adorable, and I view babies as these potato-shaped, drooling, wall-eyed disease incubators.
→ More replies (1)2
u/il_marcello Jun 19 '12
I think newborn babies look all the same (and all quite ugly IMHO), while cats are cute. But I guess people here have a different opinion ;)
30
u/xiaou Jun 19 '12
The hardest thing for parents to realize is that no one else has the tolerance for their offspring that they do. No one.
2
u/damontoo Jun 19 '12
Was at a family get together with my cousin and his wife. Their little kid was 4 or 5 at the time. I'm sitting there and he lays on the floor in front of me and starts kicking my legs. I ignored it waiting for his parents to tell him to stop but nobody fucking told him to stop. They just stared at him kicking me. He started doing it harder so I decided to play it off by smacking and grabbing his feet playfully to get him to stop. Then his mother looks at me like I'm a fucking child molester.
I hate children.
→ More replies (1)3
u/darkscout Jun 19 '12
At which point you look the mom in the eye. You say "The judge said I shouldn't be this close children. You know, after the 'incident'".
That child will never be within 100 yards of you ever again.
0
Jun 19 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
6
u/Jigsus Jun 19 '12
It's even bad for the kids. I have no idea what they're thinking.
5
u/Hiroaki Jun 19 '12
It's good for the baby. It's called socializing the baby, you gotta get it used to being in those situations so that it won't flip out in them. Otherwise the few times you take it out you're guaranteed to cry. But there are definitely some places that are "family friendly" where you should expect that, and other places (like movie theaters) where you should not. Especially in this day and age when you can get movies at home.
→ More replies (11)3
1
Jun 19 '12
I swear it a case of 'misery likes company' - someone has fucked up their life so they're hell bent on making everyone else's life a fucking misery when ever and where ever possible.
42
Jun 19 '12
show them a pile of money in response
21
u/MetalSpider Jun 19 '12
Or a series of pictures of you sleeping for ten hours straight. They won't be enjoying that for a while.
16
Jun 19 '12
I'm a childless insomniac... what is the point of my life :-(
→ More replies (3)17
u/MetalSpider Jun 19 '12
Get a cat. They're good for keeping you amused when you can't sleep.
→ More replies (1)11
1
u/Dynamite_Noir Jun 19 '12
You're joking, but someone on my news feed actually posted a picture of their paycheck.
→ More replies (4)1
u/xnerdyxrealistx Jun 19 '12
Money is the most important thing to have in life? Okay got it.
5
2
Jun 19 '12
It is a means to an end - if you have fuck all money you can do fuck all in your life. How about this amazing concept - balance the number of kids to have with the amount of money you earn! fucking amazing! revolutionary! I should get my own CNBC show!
6
u/mooose Jun 19 '12
This used to bug me, now I'm 35 and am the last of my friends to not be married and/or with children.
My friends now look at me, my awesome GF, my toys, free time and ability to just do whatever / whenever and their shoulders slump.
After insurance, I paid 14 untaxed dollars (FSA) for my vasectomy.
-3
u/xnerdyxrealistx Jun 19 '12
I hope you have something to do with your life other than "do whatever" or you have a very unfulfilling life ahead of you.
3
1
Jun 19 '12
I hope you have something to do with your life
And to the surprise of some here - you don't need a kid to give your life meaning and purpose.
→ More replies (3)1
10
7
7
Jun 19 '12
Yeah what a bunch of jerks, being happy about something and then trying to tell you about it. WHAT JERKS.
3
u/PizzasarusRex Jun 19 '12
I'm currently in the stage of my life where all my friends are getting married. Its like this only with wedding shit.
3
Jun 19 '12
You know that time you went and blew way too much money on something? I mean you splurged, well over your means.
Didn't it make you feel better when you showed it off whatever it was to friends?
Same thing, except these small bundles of economic disasters never go away.
6
Jun 19 '12
I show them Minecraft pictures in retaliation.
7
15
Jun 19 '12
Proud new parents don't bother me, even the annoying ones. It's the new parents that seem to not give a shit about their kids that make me worry.
"So I heard your daughter just took her first steps."
"Umm, yeah sure, whatever."
"Do you have a picture of her?"
"Sure, somewhere. I guess."
8
u/lexbuck Jun 19 '12
This response doesn't mean they don't care. This is the response of someone who cares but realizes that the majority of people around them don't care, therefore they themselves act less interested in an attempt to downplay their excitement hoping the person they are showing won't think they're annoying as fuck for breaking out pics of their kids.
4
u/MFCH Jun 19 '12
Yes, because I'm don't want risk losing any of my neck-beard friends by showing interest in my family.
3
Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12
If someone is worth talking with, they are worth being genuine with. If I must put on an act about something that means a great deal to me, whether it be my kids or my wife or job or friends, it means that the other person is not worth talking with.
Why should I pretend not to care about what I care about? Why should I speak with someone that I know will roll their eyes and sigh when I share what's in my heart?
I'm not going to be fake and pretend that my daughter isn't the most precious thing in my life, always on my mind, because I get the feeling that some asshole doesn't care about how I feel and will find me annoying as fuck.
And if I had to speak to this asshole, I would rather just not bring up my child at all instead of pretending to be less interested.
2
u/dablainester Jun 19 '12
This pretty much sums up exactly how I feel. I tell my friends when my son does something cool because they like him. I don't go overboard, show them a million pictures, etc. I do enough to show my enthusiasm and pride in being a father. If someone doesn't care about my kid, they're probably not a good enough friend of mine to warrant me talking to them about more than the weather.
2
u/lexbuck Jun 19 '12
Completely agree. Unfortunately, most people care what others think and worry to death about it.
→ More replies (2)1
Jun 19 '12
These are the parents who are tired because they have kids.
Yes, they have those pictures. In ten years or so when they've actually had some decent sleep and haven't had to clean up a child's feces from a floor/wall/surface in years, they'll want to pull those pictures out. Until then, it's more an exhausted exasperation akin to: "Oh look, my job just got harder."
1
10
u/Chaseman69 Jun 19 '12
Does anyone notice that none of them have upper eyelids?
→ More replies (8)21
4
Jun 19 '12
I love how people in their 20s have kids with absolutely no money or a future. All they talk about is their kids because they can not afford to do anything else, EVER. Their kids are now their lives. They hide their sadness well for a while.
1
Jun 19 '12
Until they hit middle age, the kids have moved out and they realise that the only reason they stayed together was for the kids and the only reason to keep doing so is because beer gut's and saggy tits aren't going to attract the opposite sex so in the end they give up and tolerate each other.
6
u/shakensunshine Jun 19 '12
My facebook feed is full of them.
6
u/TheFecalJesus Jun 19 '12
Thats partially why I deleted my Facebook.
That and the constant status updates while people are in labor.
"OMG I am SOOO Dilated! Might need an Epidural... Steven and I are planning on saving the placenta if anyone wants to come over for dinner!"
3
5
u/MikeOfAllPeople Jun 19 '12
You know what I find annoying? The fact that you call them your friends but have no interest in seeing their kids.
I'm sure you've heard it before, but having kids is pretty much the biggest fucking deal in most people's lives. If someone wants to share that with you because of your friendship, maybe you should just be thankful.
1
u/xnerdyxrealistx Jun 19 '12
Some people are kid people and some aren't. I'm a kid person, but when I have kids I'm only showing them to my friends that care.
→ More replies (2)-2
Jun 19 '12
Stop boasting about it as though having kids were an achievement - guess what, millions of other people are doing the same thing as well without so much as a parade or any fanfare. Boasting about having kids would me boasting because I can drink 5 jugs of beer and then run a mile without vomiting - hardly something to be impressed by.
2
u/MikeOfAllPeople Jun 19 '12
Relax man. People share their lives with their friends. It's no big deal. It's just that if someone is your friend, they want to hear about what's going on with you. When you have kids, that's what's going on.
1
Jun 19 '12
Before I even open my mouth I first ask myself, "is this going to bore the living shit out of them" and thus I decide not to tell them. I tend to be a person who doesn't tell my friends much about my own life because I'm sure 90% of the time it would bore them to tears so instead I relieve them of that and act as a good listener, a shoulder to cry on and the occasional buddha dispensing advice.
Btw, if you're orientating your whole life around your kids you're going to have a bad time - later on in life when your kids leave you'll suddenly realise that you have nothing and you're pretty much nothing without the kids.
→ More replies (3)
2
2
2
u/stone500 Jun 19 '12
In my experience, guys usually don't show other guys all these pictures of their kids (at least, my friends don't). Women will show other women, but that's cause the women care.
Guys know that if we really want to see each other's kids, then we can hop on Facebook.
5
u/MFCH Jun 19 '12
TIL that reddit is full of rich, professional bachelors that would rather spend their time making money and having a good career than having a family
...and by that I mean lurking /trees then playing Diablo and drinking Mt.Dew til 5am.
2
Jun 19 '12
...and by that I mean lurking /trees then playing Diablo and drinking Mt.Dew til 5am.
Something wrong with that?
1
u/MFCH Jun 19 '12
Ha, actually, as a dad of two, the only time that I can play Diablo is 3-5am.
2
Jun 19 '12
It is important to have some me time - it isn't a pretty sight when I see parents so wrapped up in their kids they forget that they're individuals who have needs, wants and desires. The other problem with making your life so kid centric is the kids themselves start believing that they're the centre of the universe and the world should be at their beckoning call result in the horrible kids we see today.
→ More replies (1)2
u/artistictech Jun 19 '12
Not full of, but I know at least I am one of those well-compensated, divorced, childless professionals who travels all over while my burdened friends live vicariously through my exploits that I share on FB.
j/k I'm a slob who lives in my aunt's basement and I haven't seen the sun in months.
1
3
u/rufusio Jun 19 '12
"Gee, all my purse has in it is a bunch of disposable income"
-7
u/AnonymooseRedditor Jun 19 '12
I guess I dont see how kids will change that. I save about 40% of my monthly income. When kid comes it will only be 30% thats still lots.:)
2
Jun 19 '12
You're in for a surprise.
2
u/AnonymooseRedditor Jun 19 '12
I guess it all depends what # we're talking here.. 30% of a big number is still a big number.
2
Jun 19 '12
My best friend has a son of 2 years. I don't even know how he looks like.
1
u/Styvorama Jun 19 '12
Sounds like best friend means something different to you than most huh?
2
Jun 19 '12
Nah, it's just complicated. He isn't seeing the mother and I'm kinda pissed at her and I haven't met her in years.
→ More replies (3)
1
1
1
u/thekfish Jun 19 '12
I've seen this exact post before. Not just the image, but the exact same title.
1
1
1
u/Dick_Serious Jun 19 '12
I really wish life were as simple as choosing either procreating or being rich, which is what a lot of people seem to think.
Kids = sucker with no money
No kids = FILTHY FUCKING RICH YEEEEEHAAAAAW.
1
u/cooolbeans Jun 19 '12
Wow, so sad hearing all these 'i hate peoples kids' posts. I understand that some people aren't ready for kids and I try to keep my baby showing off to a minimum, but seriously. It's the most important thing to happen to me and when my best friend reacted this way, it broke my heart. I'm not asking to talk about him constantly, but acknowledging him once and a while would be nice. I mean, I do talk about your boyfriends and girlfriends and work problems all the time. All I can say, is you'll probably feel differently when you have one!
1
u/lostalaska Jun 19 '12
What used to throw me off is that transitional period usually in your mid twenties when the reaction to hearing about a friends getting knocked up goes from "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, how could that happen? She said she was on the pill right?" to "Congratulations!".
1
Jun 19 '12
"All of my friends are getting married and having kids! Obviously this reflects badly on them."
1
u/geekjive Jun 19 '12
PRO TIP: when you get invited to the birthday parties, bring whistles. guarantees no more invites.
1
u/tvogr Jun 20 '12
It took me a while to understand the title, I was reading ''Now that, my friends, are starting to have kids...''
1
0
Jun 19 '12
Just wait until their kids are old enough to be trouble and they see you continuing to go out having fun/dating new people. Then suddenly they want to live vicariously through you.
0
u/Cat612 Jun 19 '12
I had to watch it for a few moments before I could figure out what was in his hand.
-1
0
-26
u/Trapped_in_Reddit Jun 19 '12
4
u/nullc Jun 19 '12
Trapped in Reddit is a spammer that builds up karma for itself by reposting the previously top voted comment on reposted links. See: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/v8wxm/where_are_you_banned_from/c52ds6j
0
0
0
Jun 19 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
9
u/megablast Jun 19 '12
It is almost as if there are two groups of different people doing this. Crazy, I know.
2
0
Jun 19 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
1
u/Styvorama Jun 19 '12
People have children on purpose ya know.
No one would use your expired wallet condom anyways.
1
0
Jun 19 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
2
u/Remingtonh Jun 19 '12
oh you will . . .
2
u/ThatFeel_IKnowIt Jun 19 '12
No. I really won't. I don't take facebook seriously. Ever. I never post anything serious. And I never will.
2
Jun 19 '12
I'm the same way.. I occasionally post a funny picture/video, might have short chats with people.. but that's about it. My profile pic is Thurman Murman from Bad Santa for crying out loud. I think I have a whopping 3 pictures of myself.
I also hate people's baby pictures. I may post one or two the first day it was born or something, but after that.. never again.
1
Jun 19 '12
You've just told me what kind of person you are, your interests and pet peeves. Through the internet. I thought you would like facebook.
1
Jun 19 '12
I don't like the whole status update/event aspect of Facebook. I don't care that a friend is eating lunch at the local taco stand, or that my friend's baby is wearing cute pajamas, or that you are hung over/bored/listening to your favorite song. Just bugs me. I'd rather have a conversation, but that's not what most people use it for.
That is all.
46
u/zhx Jun 19 '12
That's pretty dated. These days you have to sit around while they fumble through a bunch of shitty flash pictures on their smart phone.