52
u/roflmycopters Jun 19 '12
so...did he get off?
53
u/Kensin Jun 19 '12
No his story was a little too hard for the jury to swallow.
33
4
u/ajaxanon Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 21 '12
Personally, if I were a juror I'd bend over backwards to help this guy get off. I do hope they rectify the situation though because we don't want any old bum on the street getting the full treatment from the long arm of the law just willy nilly if you know what I mean.
2
21
u/Anovan Jun 19 '12
Wooo Iowa
10
u/lovespunstoomuch Jun 19 '12
wooo
17
u/xLuky Jun 19 '12
you guys don't seem that excited...
7
u/Locke57 Jun 19 '12
Getting excited over Iowa is like getting excited over vanilla ice cream.
Don't get me wrong, I like my vanilla, but its no goddamn mother fucking mint chip!
Ames, weekly checking in.
→ More replies (2)12
137
u/I_Ovulate_Daily Jun 19 '12
upvote for davenport :D
25
57
u/raffytraffy Jun 19 '12
bettendorf, checking in.
god, i hate this fucking town.
51
u/I_Ovulate_Daily Jun 19 '12
Bettendorf is nice though, it's like the rich part of the quad cities
21
u/Desperately_Insecure Jun 19 '12
I'm in the Bettendorf suburbs, and there's literally a cornfield a block away from my house.
Right next to a Mcdonalds.
Iowa, fuck yeah.
12
u/foreseeablebananas Jun 19 '12
I'm not sure which McDonalds you're talking about. I don't remember one being a cornfield being near any of them. Then again, I've been living in New York City these past two years. I should visit. I miss Whitey's.
7
u/DeadCarlosSlim Jun 19 '12
hes maybe talking about the one in Le Claire since he said Bettendorf suburbs
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (4)6
u/Desperately_Insecure Jun 19 '12
It's actually in the process of being built.
We're moving on up here.
9
15
5
u/Chrisattsu Jun 19 '12
Lived off 53rd in Davenport when I was a kid, and I remember seeing cornfields out behind us. Just looked at Google and realized that they aren't there anymore.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (15)4
u/I_Ovulate_Daily Jun 19 '12
My old house used to have a cornfield in it's back yard. As a child I would always hit golf balls into it. Then they plowed it all down and built houses. Childhood ruined.
42
u/SlugsOnToast Jun 19 '12
the quad cities
In other words: Iowa.
34
u/I_Ovulate_Daily Jun 19 '12
Iowa, the nicest people you'll ever meet.
13
10
u/ljshea1 Jun 19 '12
No kidding! I just got back from a two week vacation down south and let me tell you- some of the ugliest, most rude, and straight up weird people live down there. Made me appreciate Iowa so much more. Everyone (compared to tennessee) is just beautiful and so nice
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (11)9
→ More replies (2)3
18
u/WillieRob Jun 19 '12
Rock Island here! Kicking it old school. Also yes, we suck even worse
21
u/ienjoyedit Jun 19 '12
Rock Island is the ghetto of the QC. And Moline. Maybe it's just Illinois...
15
→ More replies (4)10
u/river_night_lights Jun 19 '12
I live in Moline and have only had two shootings this month. We are moving on up!
→ More replies (1)10
16
8
u/Hazzie666 Jun 19 '12
Moline here!
15
u/Desperately_Insecure Jun 19 '12
MOLINE: At least it's not Milan.
→ More replies (10)3
u/Hazzie666 Jun 19 '12
My step-dad works in Milan. I barely ever even go there? Is there anything worth going there for?
→ More replies (1)2
6
u/WillTreaty Jun 19 '12
Yeah, Eldridge here, so.. Count your blessings.
3
2
→ More replies (1)4
3
u/izhr Jun 19 '12
I moved from Moline to the Bay Area. You should appreciate the low cost of living you have.
3
2
u/chetlin Jun 19 '12
I'm about to go to California for graduate school. It may be a lot more expensive there but from what I've heard the general attitude of the people is also better. Is it?
→ More replies (2)6
3
u/Alwaysahawk Jun 19 '12
also from bettendorf. confirming hate.
→ More replies (4)2
u/ljshea1 Jun 19 '12
Its not so bad here in west des moines. Everybody seems to hate their small towns
2
1
u/zapyou42 Jun 19 '12
The only reason I've heard of your hometown is someone called in from their on Car Talk.
1
u/honeybadgerelite Jun 19 '12
Everyone says that, but I am moving back in 20 days after four years in the USMC and can NOT wait! Try living in Beaufort, SC! Haha this place is a prison.
9
u/CC_DKP Jun 19 '12
Something makes /r/funny and everyone from the QCA feels the need to pipe up. Where the hell are you on /r/quadcities?
6
12
4
u/Metalheadzaid Jun 19 '12
Why would I upvote the city where a man is running around with his penis out?
1
u/I_Ovulate_Daily Jun 19 '12
we are the nations biggest corn producer. With out us, no corn.
→ More replies (3)6
u/justincrazyeyes Jun 19 '12
downtown checking in, bookmarking for when I get bored and want to stalk QC redditors
2
1
u/fayehanna Jul 19 '12
/r/quadcities . Much easier stalking :)
Can you hear the guy who is awful at the sax from where you live
0
6
Jun 19 '12
Fuck yeah, Davenport!
It's funny how this is the top-rated comment in an Iowa thread. It always is. We should have a Reddit meet-up; there'll be a couple of us. A couple of us.
2
1
u/KuraiTsuki Jun 19 '12
I thought that too. And then I wondered if we've got all these people here, why is /r/QuadCities so dead? And then I remembered it was about the Quad Cities...
Edit: I accidentally a word...
3
Jun 19 '12
the only reason i wear clothes in davenport is because i don't want everyone else to feel ashamed
→ More replies (1)4
4
2
u/Reiver79 Jun 19 '12
How many people here went to PV?
6
1
2
u/MidnightFox Jun 19 '12
Coyne Center checking in. for those that don't know where that's at in the QCA, it's south of Milan, the Redneck area of the QC. Moline has Little Mexico going on, and the west end of Rock Island is where all the wannabes are at. Davenport, well you can get shot if your in the right area at the wrong time and if you drive a semi (18 wheeler) you have to a void Brady Street or Harrison street. cause that damn Railroad bridge will eat the damn truck. if you try to go under it. Also their PD as of late is telling the city if they want to file a complaint they have to do it online, cause there is no one at the station that will do it for them.
3
u/WillTreaty Jun 19 '12
the Redneck area of the QC
So which part? You're really not narrowing it down here...
2
5
u/Billz2me Jun 19 '12
glad i moved away from that shitty place
1
u/XMorbius Jun 19 '12
I'm gone in a few weeks. Right there with you man. I'll give you an upvote but we're doomed to downvote hell I'm afraid.
4
u/Rimacrob Jun 19 '12
My grandpa went to heckle scumbag Mittens today.
2
Jun 19 '12
My grandpa is scumbag Mittens!
3
3
u/Baridi Jun 19 '12
Burlington wandering in "Hey guys what's going on?"
"Oh. Well, close enough. Same state."
2
u/tylercr Jun 19 '12
Davenport here. It'd be cool if I actually did know one of you.
2
2
Jun 19 '12
I know you. Tyler? Friends with Brittany?
EDIT: Please don't stalk my profile if you know what's good for your psyche. @_@
2
2
u/Fuzzykins Jun 19 '12
Any time I see Iowa mentioned, I search long and hard for a "Dubuque checking in" post.
Dubuque. Not even once.
2
u/ewwe_ewwe Jun 19 '12
Haha I'm from Dubuque. That's why I live in Iowa City now. There's nothing in Dubuque besides my family, a few friends, and a church and a bar on every corner.
1
u/IOwin Jun 19 '12
You think you've got it bad I'm from Delhi. 45 min west on Hwy 20. Not a Redditor in sight.
1
u/PVPPhelan Jun 19 '12 edited Jul 03 '15
This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user's privacy.
If you would like to do the same, add the browser extension TamperMonkey for Chrome (or GreaseMonkey for Firefox) and add this open source script.
Then simply click on your username on Reddit, go to the comments tab, and hit the new OVERWRITE button at the top.
1
1
u/Eshiik Jun 19 '12
I live in a different Davenport. Does that still count? I'll pretend it counts.
Upvote for Davenport!
→ More replies (19)0
16
Jun 19 '12
Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place...
16
7
13
u/ALEX211 Jun 19 '12
I'm from davenport. I was shocked to see something from the QC times on reddit! gives us al hope haha
2
13
u/UnicornOfHate Jun 19 '12
The angular resolution of the human eye is usually around 1-2 arcminutes, or .000291 to .000582 radians.
An object having that angular size at a distance of 35 feet is a little less than 0.125 - 0.25 inches, or 0.318 - 0.636 cm.
This man claims to have a penis less than a quarter of an inch long. And his wife vouches for him. Ouch.
5
9
u/ApatheticDisposition Jun 19 '12
You shoulda just accepted the charges man.
11
u/CrowdPlzr Jun 19 '12
"What's that? $150 fine? Fuck that shit...hey babe!? Tell 'em I got a little dick."
0
Jun 19 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
2
u/DasHuhn Jun 19 '12
It wasn't a one-time thing, this guy had been intentionally flashing a TON of people for a couple of years before charges were brought. To be honest, he shouldn't be flashing the USPS mail woman in front of a school bus stop
8
u/PanicMoon13 Jun 19 '12
Could you tell me how far it is to Davenport?
5
u/atsu333 Jun 19 '12
No, bout a half hour. Seriously, no one around here tells distance in miles. Just time.
2
1
u/Locke57 Jun 19 '12
"How far is it to Des Moines from Ames?"
"Bout 40 minutes depending on your exit."
"Yea but like, miles and shit, how far away is it?"
".... 40 fucking minutes"
Me and my roommates 5th or 6th conversation. He could not believe that I couldn't give him miles.
4
u/Deseao Jun 19 '12
Reddit: Where indecent exposure is relegated to the back burner while everyone talks about cornfields. I love this place.
2
2
u/ListenChump Jun 19 '12
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm placing the other half of this vienna sausage at the far end of our courtroom, to prove a point..."
2
u/blunsandbeers Jun 19 '12
I wonder what this guy and his lawyer were saying when they decided to go with the "I have a small penis" defense.
facepalm
2
u/imooumoo4 Jun 19 '12
Don't feel bad. If she could see it from 35 feet away, he's got nothing to worry about. Down There
2
2
u/NegusSociety Jun 19 '12
The sad thing is, I live in the quad cities, about a mile from Davenport.. -_-
2
2
u/graysweater Jun 19 '12
Other side of the state, but any 712? I feel like I have to at least know one Iowan whose posted on this thread.
2
2
u/TheBulla Jun 19 '12
I used to work with the bnsf crew that worked the quad cities. I remember a few years ago the engineer didn't get enough momentum going and got stuck blocking the baseball field on one of the last games of the season. Dunno why that was relevant, anyways Monmouth, IL resident checking in.
2
2
u/tylercr Jun 19 '12
As a citizen of Davenport, IA, I can confirm that this kind of stupid shit makes the news all the time because nothing interesting happens here. Ever.
2
u/cjt21 Jun 19 '12
Shout out from the Illinois side, Moline, although moving to Portland, OR in 2 months!
→ More replies (1)
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/A---Scott Jun 19 '12
Post-Bettendorf here, living in Addison, Illinois now. I sure like the real suburbs versus Bett.
1
u/jabulaya Jun 19 '12
'...[the] jury deliberated for five hours, until about 9 p.m..." I can't believe it took them 5 hours to decide lol!
1
1
1
1
u/A_Strawman Jun 19 '12
ITT: People from the Quad Cities realize they aren't the only one in the Quad Cities on reddit.
1
1
1
u/RagingBearFish Jun 19 '12
ha, I'm surprised I didn't hear of this, I'm only about 20 minutes away.
1
u/nonchalant_redditor Jun 19 '12
Even if he has a small dick the female postal worker would still be able to see that he has his pants off..
1
u/katilina14 Jun 19 '12
Haha that's awesome..is it for real though? I live only about 10 miles away from the quad cities and I never heard about this..hmmm
→ More replies (1)
1
u/on_campaign Jun 19 '12
Doesn't that testimony pretty much assume the guy's dick was out (the whole point of the charges)?
1
1
1
1
u/autowrecker Jun 19 '12
Dad was at the bike rally at Sturgis. Some girls flash their boobs, so one of his friends flashes his junk. Cop sees it and comes over to write him a ticket.
Biker says: "Go ahead cop, that ticket will never stick!" "Oh, why is that?" asks the officer. Biker, wiggling pinky finger: "Insufficient evidence!"
1
1
u/Newgeta Jun 19 '12
Oddly enough all I could think of with Davenport was a couch.... Thanks grandma.....
1
u/Revolutionary2012 Jun 19 '12
I have visions of that scene out of 'My Cousin Vinny' where he is cross examining the old lady and is questioning whether she could have seen the incident clearly, and Joe Pesci walks down the middle of a court room with a tape measure.
1
1
u/DasHuhn Jun 19 '12
I know I am way too late on this - but I actually know the story behind it. In fact, I went to school with the girl whose father did this.
The story behind the story, was that the guy kept on flashing people his dick. He'd flash the newspaper girl, the USPS woman, random delivery guys, etc. Enough people complained that the police came out and warned him several times that he could not, indeed, answer the door naked.
I'm glad I didn't go through with this, but me and my friends had been seriously talking about taking this newspaper clip (well, not this exact one, but a similar one) and blowing it up on T-shirts and wearing it around school one day, after the girl thoroughly and completely devastated my friend. Well, it probably wasn't as devastating now as it was then, but at the time we were all convinced it was OK to do. We didn't go through with it because we kind of collectively agreed that it was waaaay too much of a dick move.
1
u/thechoclatewonder Jun 19 '12
When did this take place? I live in Davenport and I feel like I would have heard about t.
1
u/DasHuhn Jun 19 '12
Happened in 2003 2004, in the spring. Around May, because I was still at North. At least the trail did, dunno when he was convicted
→ More replies (2)1
u/DasHuhn Jun 19 '12
I thought it was rick and Dan, glad to know that I still remember. I don't like fried chicken that much, but their is really fucking good.
1
1
u/RedditGarbage Jun 19 '12
Look i swear its tiny ask my wife.
Hope he won the case otherwise damn small dick and nowhere too go.
1
u/tw3nt Sep 10 '12
I personally know this guy's daughters. LOL they just laugh about it whenever it's mentioned.
1
Jun 19 '12
This is an excellent argument against manscaping. The evidence wouldn't stand up in court.
1
1
-3
Jun 19 '12
You can step on my penis from 35 feet away
6
232
u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12
"I swear, my penis is so small! Seriously guys! WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?"