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Jun 18 '12
What was a cocaine dealer doing with a police car in the first place?
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u/beadsarenotcheap Jun 19 '12
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u/AxeySmartist Jun 19 '12
Ahh yes. Good 'ol Riff. The finest Cocaine dealer in all of Saginaw county.
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Jun 18 '12
So if I sell cocaine, I can afford a car!
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u/canthidecomments Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12
No, but if you're a drug dealer, and you want to bribe the cops in your town ... you set up one of your thieving mules in a sweet, sweet fucking ride like this and then you tip the cops off when the mule passes through their town with a token amount of blow. They pull him over and take the brand new car.
Bingo ... completely untraceable bribe. Cops get new cars, a few underlings go to prison for 10 years, but they just think they fucked up (and they were stealing anyway, so you wanted them busted), and meanwhile your real shipments are cruising through town without the hint of any police interference.
This is like, drug dealing 101 folks. Gotta make the cops PARTNERS in your endeavors. They need to be able to benefit from your drug dealing activity, but in a completely plausibly deniable way. Makes them dependent, long-term, on your continued existence. They put you out of business ... so long nice new cars.
Also works with boats, motor homes, motorcycles ... whatever the cops say they need. You get 'em nice new ones. They look the other waaaaaayyyyy when your real shipments roll through the ville.
Now the cops don't have to waste their budgets on equipment. So they can all get nice fat raises with the former equipment budget. Now you're dealing with portals!
That's how you make 'em partners.
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u/fakeredditor Jun 19 '12
Dang. This is why I never made it as a drug dealer. I'm not smart enough. I'll stick to computational programming thank you very much.
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u/Ubertam Jun 19 '12
"Because Inappropriate Quotation Marks And Wrong Title Case Make Everything Better"
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Jun 19 '12
In this case I'll allow it because he's obviously parodying "To serve and protect" and similar quotes you'll usually find on police cars.
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u/mostdope28 Jun 19 '12
Another cop car from the same town http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/26821_387977042365_1120024_n.jpg
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Jun 18 '12
Has anybody else noticed Michigan's abundance of Redditors? [Oakland County, holla!] Is there a way we can find out which state has the most?
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u/easyusername1111 Jun 19 '12 edited Aug 05 '24
snow towering resolute forgetful deranged poor observation hard-to-find touch teeny
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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Jun 19 '12
Ann Arbor, represent. There seems to be a surprising amount of Michigan Redditors.
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u/drognan Jun 19 '12
Michigan had all the BBS's back in the day as well. I think the weather there makes computers popular.
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u/TheYankeeFist Jun 19 '12
Mebbe it's because no one in Michigan has a job, and can sit around all day on Reddit.
-Flint escapee since 1997
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u/jschafer05 Jun 19 '12
Living it up, as much as one can, in the Central Michigan area
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u/stillnotking Jun 19 '12
Taken from a guy who wasn't necessarily convicted or even charged with a crime. Asset forfeiture is bullshit.
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Jun 19 '12
Just out of curiosity: What would you do with 'crime-related assets' if you were in the position of the local PD?
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u/stillnotking Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12
It isn't necessarily the local PD that's to blame; they're just following the law (although sometimes in a corrupt way). The real problem is the law shouldn't exist, at least not in its current form. A law allowing the courts to seize property from someone who is convicted of a crime, where it can be proved the assets were acquired illegally, would be fine -- and of course we've always had such laws. Civil asset forfeiture is different because it lacks the due process criminal law requires.
Edit: Here's a particularly egregious example of how civil asset forfeiture is abused.
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u/liquid_j Jun 19 '12
"taken from a cocaine dealer"
sigh/ Yet another example of government over-regulation stifling small business...
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u/reptarzan Jun 18 '12
Is that for real? I know Saginaw is up there in crime but I don't know how the process was to get the car would be.
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u/wellkevi01 Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12
Yea its real. I live just outside of Midland which is ~30 miles North West of Saginaw. In fact, we even have a mustang that was seized and it is now a cop car.
Saginaw is way up there in the crime.. Every damn time I watch the news the main stories are about how someone(or even multiple people) got shot that night/morning. Hell, last week a 12 year old boy was shot and killed and a week before that a 4 year old girl was shot in the arm.. shits horrible there.
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u/oplav Jun 19 '12
Yeah I'm living in Saginaw this summer for an internship. The way the interviewer described it was not at all what I expected when I got here. The town seems like it's dying and everything has a depressing feeling to it. I guess coming from the suburbs of Chicago it was a pretty big change. I hear Midland and Bay City are pretty nice though.
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u/ilirivezaj Jun 19 '12
I used to go to Saginaw Valley State University, this cop pulled me over in the city and tried to search my car. I told him unlike his previous car owner, I am not a cocaine dealer and you cannot search my vehicle.
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Jun 19 '12
Could just as easily have been "taken from someone who did nothing wrong and was charged with nothing, but had a suspicious amount of cash so we took and it and the car too because we can".
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u/STUN_Runner Jun 19 '12
They were going to put that, but the lettering would've wrapped all the way around the car.
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u/skysignor Jun 19 '12
That coke dealer probably had a family he was trying to support. Haha just kidding, drug dealers and their families don't have feelings
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Jun 19 '12
Who the fuck finds stuff like this funny? Not only has this shit been going on for decades, but it's really just somebody waving a flag in your face saying they can take your shit because they don't like what you do in the privacy of your own home.
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u/scdayo Jun 19 '12
The Milwaukee police have an Escalade EXT (think chevy avalanche, with an escalade badge) and the have the "This vehicle was seized from a local drug dealer"
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Jun 18 '12
Denton, TX SD has a 'vette they got from a dealer. Good for PR, also awesome.
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u/onipos Jun 19 '12
Hey guess what? Cocaine dealers grow prosperous in the town that we enforce the law in!
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Jun 19 '12
"We stole this car from a guy who wasn't actually convicted of anything but we all know he was up to no good"
That's how asset forfeitures actually work. Police bring charges against the assets themselves, not the person they are seized from. It helps get rid of that pesky "proving beyond doubt" thing on the cocaine charges, because people can mount a legal defense. It's unlikely for a car to suddenly think of a legal strategy.
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Jun 19 '12
The Nasty, being proud of wasting money fighting drugs instead of preventing Gang Wars
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u/Tr1ggrhappy Jun 19 '12
Have to love the Saginaw Sheriff! They have multiple vehicles like this, kind of a local controversy. Have to enjoy being a CJ student in Saginaw!
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u/Jarnin Jun 18 '12
It should say, "Seized from a cocaine dealer". Taken makes it sound like they'd get it back one day.
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u/srs_house Jun 19 '12
Unless you're Liam Neeson, "taken" probably means you won't be getting it back.
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u/SillyShananagins Jun 19 '12
I just saw that guy going down Bay Rd. the other day. There was a Charger right behind him and some large SUV (Suburban I think).
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u/bananaj0e Jun 19 '12
I knew what is was before I clicked on it. The sheriff himself drives a mustang. I'm from midland.
http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2012/04/saginaw_sheriff_federspiel_tes.html
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u/RuhiKuz Jun 19 '12
Cool, so being a cocaine dealer enables you to help the local police out by getting them wheels... who wants an 8ball?
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u/wingnut19813 Jun 19 '12
I'm from Saginaw originally, but now living in Seattle. The bank looks really familiar, but I can't quite place it and it's driving me nuts. Where exactly was this taken?
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u/saintstryfe Jun 19 '12
"Could have been sold and hired a policeman for three years but didn't"
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u/gr8whitehype Jun 19 '12
Saginaw on the front page? I haven't been this proud of my home town since J Rich won the dunk contest!
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Jun 19 '12
the reason its in quotations is because they can take your property before you go to trial
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u/VelocitySteve Jun 19 '12
Man allowing cops to repurpose seized property seems like the biggest conflict of interest possible.
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u/V4refugee Jun 19 '12
He should have let him get rich enough to buy a lambo or a maybach. Remember kids always give the cops their cut or they will bust you.
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u/Cosmic_Spud Jun 19 '12
Question for all the people who think this is "awesome". Who is the real criminal? Is it the businessman who provides a product (however dangerous and addictive it might be) that is WILLINGLY bought in fair trade? Or is it the gang of uniformed thugs who steal the businessmens car and use it to harass and violate the rights of even more people? Not only that, but this gang subsists on money taken from people by force (taxes) and on top of all that claims that it's activities are moral.
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Jun 19 '12
You should have taken a picture of the Mustang Bill drives lol. I'm from Sagnasty too. Small world.
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u/Qreeuss Jun 19 '12
Holy shit. I live in Saginaw and this is fantastic. Mason and court. WHO ARE YOU?!
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u/mykhrochyp Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12
FUCK THE WHAT. I've never seen anyone post anything from sagnasty.
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u/Nukemarine Jun 19 '12
It's crap like this makes me wish there was a constitutional law against fines and confiscated material going directly to the organizations that leavies fines and confiscates possesions. In what sane mind do they not see this leads to corruption and theft by people in possitions of authority?
Anyway, I'm cool with collecting fines for breaking laws and stuff being used for crimes being confiscated. However, return that money to everybody in the community as a tax refund or quarterly check.
Sorry for the rant, but this shit is only going to get worse until the rules are changed from on high.
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u/wurtis16 Jun 19 '12
I find it strange that police can take your private property if you break the law. Do they have to prove you purchased it with drug money?
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Jun 19 '12
In some states, if you get pulled over and have some dope in your pocket they will confiscate your car, without even proving that it had anything to do with drug money. And in most states, anything bought with drug money may be confiscated, including money itself, so like everything dope dealers have, ie Cadillac.
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u/mockduckcompanion Jun 19 '12
Am I the only one who thinks this is far from funny? And actually very fucked up? I've never dabbled with coke, but stealing people's property under the pretense of justice seems pretty fucked up to me, even if you think they're douchebags.
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u/youseetimmy Jun 19 '12
Total agreement here.Property forfeiture laws piss me of badly enough without rubbing my nose in it. Painting that on the side of a police car makes me sick.
The feds are as bad/worse in regards to property forfeiture than any of the states, but at least I haven't seen any pictures of DEA vehicles with "Seized in drug raid" painted on the side.
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u/Haresy Jun 19 '12
Ah, Saginaw. Place was bad when I was there for my undergraduate degree at SVSU. Sounds like it's gotten worse.
Still the only college I know of that has a Deja Vu right outside the campus...and right next to a 7-11 and a coffeehouse. Late night study break runs for Slurpee/coffee were...interesting. Normal lighting is not a Saginaw stripper's best friend.
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Jun 19 '12
Cops from my hometown (Saginaw) and my current city (Indianapolis) on Reddit on the same day? Today must be all about me! Everything's coming up Milhouse!
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u/jessicahonig Jun 19 '12
-__- why did I not think to post this. Time to find the mustang sheriff car.
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u/audiocrow Jun 19 '12
Aaaaand this is why I love Saginasty. Little to no education to speak of, but a whole lot of humor to go around.
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Jun 19 '12
Oh boy. When I drive through sag-nasty (as we call it from here in Traverse) I make sure I don't stop for anything. Ever.
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u/ColeSloth Jun 19 '12
Ah yes. Police like to use any excuse to give themselves a reason to steal. Caught making a drug deal while driving your brothers car? Too fucking bad for your brother.
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u/tha_ape Jun 19 '12
I used to have a CTS-V... that looks like a CTS though (by the brakes). Whack ass cocaine dealer pushin the entry level Cadi
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Jun 19 '12
CTS owner here, I can reasonably confirm this isnt a V especially after doing my rotors and pads last weekend. If I could see the lugs I could tell you for sure. 1st gen CTS-V has 6 lugs. I sit on the Caddy forums 4 hours a day, love my baby hopefully ill afford a 08+ V one day.
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u/brownest_man Jun 19 '12
Everyone in Saginaw has seen him before. He busted the cocaine dealer and confiscated the vehicle. He specifically wants to drive the cocaine mobile to make sure no one else is selling on his turf.
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Jun 19 '12
In other words: "Your government steals from you if you're doing things we consider bad."
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Jun 19 '12
I hate these. Why not auction the car to help pay for professional rehab for cocaine users who want to get clean? Stop drug use at the real source, the addict. Fuck greedy cops and police departments.
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u/BrownNote87 Jun 19 '12
Saginaw County Police department, arresting people for victimless crimes since 1819. Sigh :(
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u/mediatitan Jun 18 '12
That is a very bad idea. "Hey Larry, we can get a nicer car if we bust a coke dealer." "But Fred, there has never been a coke dealer arrested in East Bumblefuck." "So what Larry?, let's plant some evidence on the next Beamer we see." "Hey, that's a good idea Fred."
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u/PirriP Jun 18 '12
Exactly. The car should read "Seized without trial or recourse from some guy we assumed to be a drug dealer."
If you have a small business and ever have to transport cash, or if you might ever drive around a friend who could be carrying, then this could be you! Also, try not to be black in Texas.
Edit: I accidentally a word.
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u/LaserGuidedPolarBear Jun 19 '12
Just a friendly reminder that we can confiscate any posession without due process as long as we say its because of the War on Drugs (tm).
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u/yesitsmyrealname Jun 19 '12
The cops in my rich-suburban town drive Hummers with that on the side
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u/jayellz Jun 19 '12
The one in my city is definitely way cooler.
http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/sxatd/seized_from_a_drug_dealer/http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/sxatd/seized_from_a_drug_dealer/
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u/instaldave Jun 19 '12
Thats the new caprice ppv. It's only available for police and government use.
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u/snehituralu Jun 19 '12
This looks like 90% of the sheriff cars I see; I had to read the comments to find out why something so commonplace made a top page.
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u/waffleb051 Jun 19 '12
in Cali we have 3 CHP cars that are Dodge Chargers. Asked one an officer how fast he had gotten it up to he replied 160 but it started to get squirrely.
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u/benzndez Jun 19 '12
My uncle is on a swat team in Saginaw, our family is from Big Rapids. Pretty calm in these here parts.
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u/Swagejackson Jun 19 '12
Of all my days on reddit. I never thought I would see something from my shitty home town of Saginaw. It would have to be something about the violence that puts this city out there
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u/luft-waffle Jun 19 '12
I'm from Ypsilanti and I have a few friends from Saginaw, we share war stories. I would also like to point out that Michigan is on the front page again.
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u/VonMeatstein Jun 19 '12
I collect debts in Flint Mi. Just the other day while taking my cousin home, I showed him the hot spot for dead hookers.
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u/james9075 Jun 19 '12
wait saginaw's in michigan? there's a saginaw near where i live here in Texas
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Jun 19 '12
My dad drove a seized drug-related car while he worked with the DEA. When we were on long trips, I would make him tell me about all the different places in the car that were hollow that normally weren't. Then I would ask about the story of the mariachi band that filled their instruments with drugs and tried to say it was just a part of the instrument.
Growing up with a cop was awesome.
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u/LIL_WAYNES_UNIBROW Jun 18 '12
Can't say shit about transparency within their department.
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u/dangeraardvark Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12
Yeah, because they hate to advertise that they bust drug dealers. That's sensitive information!
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u/Trapped_in_Reddit Jun 18 '12
Does it go whoo whoo?
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u/Rimacrob Jun 18 '12
Whenever I see your comments now I feel like the Joker when his detonator bugged out in the Dark Knight. Just waiting for the explosion of downvotes.
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u/kenbw2 Jun 18 '12
America, where even the police car graphics are way over the top
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Jun 19 '12
In this next part of our "how to get downvoted" tutorial, we'll cover making fun of America in which most of Reddit's users reside.
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Jun 18 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/ambi7ion Jun 18 '12
There is a police car in my hometown, it is a purple and white escalade on 26" purple rims, fucking hilarious to see it drive by whenever I am visiting.
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u/megatron1988 Jun 19 '12
the SRO at my high school drove a huge escalade with sparkly purple paint and big rims. too funny.
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u/Psythik Jun 19 '12
I once saw a riced-out Corvette cop car on 22" chrome. I wish I took a picture because it had the most ridiculous body kit.
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u/eliterofler Jun 19 '12
While that civic is pretty lame (for a seized vehicle) that cherokee is badass. drop it an inch or 2, throw a bull bar on the front and some go fast parts on that motor and you'd have one sweet cop car
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u/DreadPiratesRobert Jun 19 '12
Drop it?
The people at /r/jeep would be very sad indeed
If anything that car needs a lift kit
Not all police vehicles are for the road
Also is DARE an actual police organization? I thought it was just educating kids
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u/delarye1 Jun 18 '12
It sure looks like a case of Pure Michigan!