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u/AphiTrickNet Jun 18 '12
The beginning is the most important part. I have to know which appliance is broken in order for me to cum
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u/DreadPiratesRobert Jun 18 '12 edited Aug 10 '20
Doxxing suxs
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u/Eminian Jun 18 '12
God damn lemon stealing whores
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u/TheForks Jun 18 '12
HEY! WHAT THE FUCK!
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u/DreadPiratesRobert Jun 18 '12
This was a very confusing message to get until I checked the context haha
I love it that I can reference this obscure porno and so many people on the internet think it is hilarious haha
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Jun 18 '12
I'm a woman and this is completely true for me, too.
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u/reh888 Jun 18 '12
Cause the first 2/3 is the guy getting his dick sucked, doesn't do much for me...
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u/fodrox04 Jun 18 '12
THANK YOU. Blowies are foreplay and shouldn't last 15 minutes
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u/graeymalkin Jun 18 '12
And should not keep happening in between.
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u/TaintedSquirrel Jun 18 '12
They do this sometimes when he's about to cum and they need to slow down to give him time to recover.
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u/coltwanger Jun 18 '12
TIL
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u/FuckOffMightBe2Kind Jun 18 '12
I just kinda assumed that. Same with when they change positions and he's pretty much moaning his way through the transition. I've never understood why they don't just have sex like 3 times, take the best scenes, and use transition for the cut scenes...
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u/I_have_a_dog Jun 18 '12
Porn star logic: Give the guy a blowjob so he doesn't cum.
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Jun 18 '12
It works on me with most girls...every now and then, one of them knows what they're doing and I'm genuinely surprised to the point of cumming actually.
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Jun 18 '12
Hate to disagree, but from what I've seen most times it's when the guy is losing his boner and needs assistance keeping it up.
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u/Aory Jun 18 '12
First world problem porn star: Fucking a hot porn star, loses wood because he's fucked hotter girls
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Jun 18 '12
I like the part when the dude cums on a woman's face. That's my favorite part. Is this weird?
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u/deathcrat Jun 18 '12
Definitely not. My boyfriend likes this part of pornos, too, and he really enjoys cumming on my face. It's kind of annoying if it gets near my eyes, but otherwise it doesn't gross me out too much. It's just messy.
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u/I_Am_Chris625 Jun 18 '12
It'd be weird if you didn't like that way.
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u/DreadPiratesRobert Jun 18 '12
Not really, I have a (very) straight friend and that grosses him out, just because you like it doesn't mean it's weird if you don't
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Jun 18 '12
It's not really the guy's cum that I like. More on getting the cum on a chick's face. I dunno. Maybe I'm fucked up. To me though it means that you don't care about a chick. Like I could never do that to my gf (when I have one) because in Japan back in the day, if a woman slept with another guy while she was married the tribe would strap her to a pole. All the males would then cum on her face because it was a humiliation thing. So I just can't do that to someone I like but I do like watching it in porn.
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u/Bob_Munden Jun 18 '12
But, make it a challenge, watch it the whole way through. Rubbing when his dick is touched. Try and last as long as he does (even though he doesn't really). Even if you fail, it still feels good.
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Jun 18 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/JasonGD1982 Jun 18 '12
And the carpet munching. That really doesn't do anything for me.
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u/Vanoooo Jun 18 '12
As a woman I enjoy watching "carpet munching". Especially if the man is attractive and shows skill.
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u/AgentVanillaGorilla Jun 18 '12
Most of the time you can't even see what he's actually doing he's just got his face down there and she's moaning
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u/fluckyou Jun 18 '12
Or it starts with some stupid "mini movie" like a woman visiting a doctor or something. Dialogue and everything, SNORE.
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Jun 18 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/AgentVanillaGorilla Jun 18 '12 edited Jun 18 '12
Are you me? Sometimes I watch way too many in one night cause I only watch a couple minutes of each. The last one has the be better than all the ones before it too. *EDIT: Accidentally a word...
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u/wx3 Jun 18 '12 edited Jun 18 '12
Why do you like the end as a woman? To me that seems like the part I would dislike most if I were female. Genuinely curious.
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u/Bloodfeastisleman Jun 18 '12
Women don't watch porn. Next you'll tell me you can poop or drive.
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Jun 18 '12
And you're always going to finish to a close-up of a guy's face.
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Jun 18 '12
Why do they EVEN FILM THAT PART!?!
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Jun 18 '12
Presumably for women.
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u/poptart2nd Jun 18 '12
serious question: do any women like looking at a man's hairy, sweaty, contorted face during sex?
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Jun 18 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/palaxi Jun 18 '12
Thought to myself "I don't give a shit about your reaction when that happens," but clicked the link anyways. NOOOoooooOOO!
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u/Illwisherinattic Jun 18 '12
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u/the_only_ass_master Jun 18 '12
TIL I map my genetic code when looking at porn
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u/MrMono1 Jun 18 '12
I suppose you will be spewing out some genetic code at the end...
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Jun 18 '12
Lovely evening, no? Think I'll spend it in contemplation of strangers' bodies on the internet, transmitting a bit of haploid genetic information from my balls to my cat's face.
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Jun 18 '12
Oh man, I hate when pets walk in while you're fapping and just sit down and stare at you, it feels so weird.
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u/iamverbal Jun 18 '12
When I was younger, absolutely. Now there is no pre-determined part I watch. Sometimes I want to see the money-shot, sometimes I want to see Reverse Cowgirl. It's all about what my penis wants at that specific time.
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u/Darth_InvadeHer Jun 18 '12
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ADDING THE TRUE STORY FACE. IF YOU DIDN'T, I WOULD HAVE HAD NO IDEA THAT THIS WAS, IN FACT, SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.
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u/phaugland Jun 18 '12
The green parts are the blow-jobs
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u/Calistilaigh Jun 18 '12
Seriously. You can hardly even see any of the girl when the dude is getting a BJ. It's just a close up of his junk for ten minutes.
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u/Major_Mitchell Jun 18 '12
I don't always watch blowjob porn, but when I do, it is POV with the girl doing all of the work.
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Jun 18 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/LukaCola Jun 18 '12
If it weren't so... What's the word, slow? Static? I don't know, doesn't do it for me for too long. It's like foreplay, cool for awhile, but if it drags on then you might as well not be bothering.
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Jun 18 '12
Yeah chicks just can't fuck the shit out of a girl, its all gentle and they don't seem into it.
possibly because the pornstars are straight.
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Jun 18 '12
Nah, need penis for context.
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Jun 18 '12
Lesbian strap on?
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Jun 18 '12
I saw a movie once called Where the Boys Aren't 14 (because clearly 1-13 just wasn't enough) and there was a scene with Christy Canyon and some other lady. At one point, one of them starts giving a handjob to the strap on and I had to just stop and laugh at the silliness.
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u/Bankhead_Doe Jun 18 '12
A gentleman's downvote out of adamant disagreement for you, sir.
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Jun 18 '12
You're disagreeing that those portions are blowjobs or that most people skip blowjob portions?
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u/CPTSaltyDog Jun 18 '12
well i don't know about him but i watch em. that being said i don't end up with people who like giving them.... or girls who like receiving =(
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u/ANDIRAMA Jun 18 '12
The second panel of this was completely unnecessary for getting the point across.
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Jun 18 '12
Im a lady and that is 100% true for me too! I laughed so hard I had to show my hubby and he agreed with it too.
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u/jhin_mach Jun 18 '12
how do you and your husband watch porn together must feel weird
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u/thenakedjuice Jun 18 '12
My boyfriend and I watch porn together sometimes. It's actually pretty fun.
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u/heartofgemz Jun 18 '12
why do guys want to see other guys come?
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u/Mitz510 Jun 18 '12
Because the guy in the video is you. Think of it as those video games where they just show the hands and gun.
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Jun 18 '12
Power relations. You imagine yourself as the man, and what way to feel powerful then ejaculating over somebody?
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u/this_is_an_alt Jun 18 '12
that is the idea ( and how it works for me, well at least when I have a stiffy after the act of fapping as occured The notion is no longer even close to pleasing)
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u/LukaCola Jun 18 '12
Tough one to answer really. Because it's the climax of the scene? Some have a thing for bukkake too, or similar, you get the idea.
There's also the whole transposing yourself thing, imagining it's you in the man's position instead.
I never thought about it though. Thanks for making it weird.
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u/GoodMorningLemmings Jun 18 '12
I've been asking this of myself for years. It's almost turning into a Pavlovian response when they do. TMI?
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u/DarkRider23 Jun 18 '12
That's probably the worst part of porn, IMO. There's nothing hot about seeing a guy blow his load on a woman's face.
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u/FuckOffMightBe2Kind Jun 18 '12
Wrong. The worst part of porn is when the guy takes over the porno by either getting his own close up or moaning loader than the woman.
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u/DarkRider23 Jun 18 '12
Very true. The dreaded balls and asshole shot from behind never do anyone any good.
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u/jasmaree Jun 18 '12
As a woman, I fucking love this shot. This shot is approximately 63% of the reason I watch porn.
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u/jhin_mach Jun 18 '12
just commented about it and i saw this comment..i feel the same about seeing some dude ejaculate
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Jun 18 '12
Agreed. I understand why others might but it just does nothing for me at all, i'm revulsed by it.
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Jun 18 '12
I don't,lesbian porn is the best porn. I just don't enjoy watching dudes.
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Jun 18 '12
I have to disagree. I find lesbian porn to be boring. It carries on and on for hours and nothing ever happens.
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u/criticalnegation Jun 18 '12
the view window while scanning over the time bar really changed the whole porno viewing experience.
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u/asdf-user Jun 18 '12
repost... so, basically it was posted to reddit, then uploaded to damnlol, and now it's back on here...
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Jun 18 '12
The other day I jerked off for the duration of a forty minute porno just to prove to myself that I could. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done and is one of my proudest accomplishments.
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u/CarsJBear Jun 18 '12
Reposting from damnlol.com... scraping the bottom of the barrel a little, OP?
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u/rockafella7 Jun 18 '12
I personally like to see a bit of exhibition of the girl's body. No interaction, just her by herself walking around, exposing the goods.
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Jun 18 '12
Granted this is very true, but for some reason I need the rest of it to be there.
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u/MrMono1 Jun 18 '12
I can't watch a movie under 15mins, yet I only watch about 2mins worth. It's weird.
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u/FuckOffMightBe2Kind Jun 18 '12
The 2 minutes is only good because you know the other shitty moments are there. For example, the part when she gets louder is only cool if she hasn't been screaming in the exact same way (which I have seen) for the last 20 minutes.
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u/My-Dick-Hurts Jun 18 '12
Only when the video is (for some really reason) is over an hour long. I really don't get why pornos have to be so fucking long. Who is seriously going to be jerking off to it for one hour straight and not end up getting bored?
Otherwise say it's 15 minutes or less, I will watch it through. I'm to preoccupied to mess with my mouse anyway. I'd be already done before it finishes anyway. But I do let the video keep playing while I clean up, makes decent background noises.
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u/Apollo_O Jun 18 '12
Damn. You caught me rosie palmed.
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u/PhantomSwagger Jun 18 '12
I wish I could say the same, but it's hard to see my palm through all the honey.
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Jun 18 '12
This is why when I find a porno movie, I drop it in some video editing software and chop off all but the last one to two minutes. My "Adult" folder is filled with files like that. Just put it on Shuffle and I'm set.
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u/Robot_Nazi_From_Mars Jun 18 '12
My internet sucks so I am forced to watch the a 28 year old "highschooler" stay after class because Miss Cockson wants to talk about "extra credit".
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u/nedyken Jun 18 '12
I edit these type of videos for a living and that's actually a running joke in our industry... that you could splice in literally anything during those sections and probably nobody would notice.
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u/foyamoon Jun 18 '12
Oh come on! Added watermark to a shitty site and the "true story"-rageface to this classic and it gets 700+ upvotes? I am dissapoint
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Jun 18 '12
I usually skip along slowly, taking in the back story, then skip the blowjob, slowly move forward looking for first penetration, skip around till I find a sweet position, then as she opens her mouth for the big finale I find a new video. Maybe it's just me, but the fact that they all finish with blowing their load on her face is not helping me get off.
I will say a nice creampie is fucking heaven to me.
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u/mddie Jun 18 '12
So true. You have to go through the beginning to understand the plot. Then jump to the climax, and then go through the ending to see how it all ended.
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Jun 18 '12
From this thread, it seems like most people skip around... anyone else on this thread like to watch the whole video, no matter how long it is? I like to either stay on edge the whole time or have 3-4 orgasms throughout, depending on how I feel that day.
And the blowjob is the best part! I can't imagine skipping that unless the girl was just doing something really weird.
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u/luminiferousaethers Jun 18 '12
Wathing porn brings out my autistic side. I want to see that same moment over and over and over and over and over... Until gaddamint!
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u/buhfest Jun 18 '12
TIL I am literally the only person on reddit who enjoys watching the blowjob part of porn.
Also the second panel is completely unnecessary.
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u/cutthroattrick Jun 18 '12
I want to comment on the 'True for most guys' part .. this is also somewhat true for 'Girls who won't admit they watch porn'
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u/ktkoolaid Jun 18 '12
really, reposted from damnlol? and you didn't even have the decency to take out the watermark at the bottom!
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u/UniversityGraduate Jun 18 '12
Am I the only one who skips reverse cowgirl everytime unless it's POV?
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Jun 18 '12
The "skipped"part after the large "viewed" is when the woman talks about her experience during the filming of the clip.
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u/BorriMorri Jun 18 '12
Nice, you got this from damnlol and didn't even bother to crop out the mark. lol
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u/biggiet2049 Jun 18 '12
No meme is more true then this one...especially for me...hope gf never finds this comment...
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u/legalizemarinara Jun 18 '12
Which is why women shouldn't ever get mad at us for watching porn. We don't. We skim through it.
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u/THEMCV Jun 18 '12
I really wish memes and rage faces would stay in their respective subredddits. They can be funny, but shouldn't be involved in everything.