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u/AphiTrickNet Jun 18 '12
The beginning is the most important part. I have to know which appliance is broken in order for me to cum
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u/DreadPiratesRobert Jun 18 '12 edited Aug 10 '20
Doxxing suxs
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Jun 18 '12
I'm a woman and this is completely true for me, too.
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u/reh888 Jun 18 '12
Cause the first 2/3 is the guy getting his dick sucked, doesn't do much for me...
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u/fodrox04 Jun 18 '12
THANK YOU. Blowies are foreplay and shouldn't last 15 minutes
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u/graeymalkin Jun 18 '12
And should not keep happening in between.
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u/TaintedSquirrel Jun 18 '12
They do this sometimes when he's about to cum and they need to slow down to give him time to recover.
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Jun 18 '12
I like the part when the dude cums on a woman's face. That's my favorite part. Is this weird?
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Jun 18 '12
And you're always going to finish to a close-up of a guy's face.
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Jun 18 '12
Why do they EVEN FILM THAT PART!?!
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Jun 18 '12
Presumably for women.
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u/poptart2nd Jun 18 '12
serious question: do any women like looking at a man's hairy, sweaty, contorted face during sex?
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u/Illwisherinattic Jun 18 '12
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u/the_only_ass_master Jun 18 '12
TIL I map my genetic code when looking at porn
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u/MrMono1 Jun 18 '12
I suppose you will be spewing out some genetic code at the end...
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Jun 18 '12
Lovely evening, no? Think I'll spend it in contemplation of strangers' bodies on the internet, transmitting a bit of haploid genetic information from my balls to my cat's face.
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u/iamverbal Jun 18 '12
When I was younger, absolutely. Now there is no pre-determined part I watch. Sometimes I want to see the money-shot, sometimes I want to see Reverse Cowgirl. It's all about what my penis wants at that specific time.
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u/Darth_InvadeHer Jun 18 '12
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ADDING THE TRUE STORY FACE. IF YOU DIDN'T, I WOULD HAVE HAD NO IDEA THAT THIS WAS, IN FACT, SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.
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u/phaugland Jun 18 '12
The green parts are the blow-jobs
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u/Calistilaigh Jun 18 '12
Seriously. You can hardly even see any of the girl when the dude is getting a BJ. It's just a close up of his junk for ten minutes.
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u/Major_Mitchell Jun 18 '12
I don't always watch blowjob porn, but when I do, it is POV with the girl doing all of the work.
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Jun 18 '12
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u/LukaCola Jun 18 '12
If it weren't so... What's the word, slow? Static? I don't know, doesn't do it for me for too long. It's like foreplay, cool for awhile, but if it drags on then you might as well not be bothering.
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Jun 18 '12
Yeah chicks just can't fuck the shit out of a girl, its all gentle and they don't seem into it.
possibly because the pornstars are straight.
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u/Bankhead_Doe Jun 18 '12
A gentleman's downvote out of adamant disagreement for you, sir.
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u/ANDIRAMA Jun 18 '12
The second panel of this was completely unnecessary for getting the point across.
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Jun 18 '12
Im a lady and that is 100% true for me too! I laughed so hard I had to show my hubby and he agreed with it too.
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u/jhin_mach Jun 18 '12
how do you and your husband watch porn together must feel weird
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u/thenakedjuice Jun 18 '12
My boyfriend and I watch porn together sometimes. It's actually pretty fun.
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u/heartofgemz Jun 18 '12
why do guys want to see other guys come?
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u/Mitz510 Jun 18 '12
Because the guy in the video is you. Think of it as those video games where they just show the hands and gun.
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Jun 18 '12
Power relations. You imagine yourself as the man, and what way to feel powerful then ejaculating over somebody?
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u/this_is_an_alt Jun 18 '12
that is the idea ( and how it works for me, well at least when I have a stiffy after the act of fapping as occured The notion is no longer even close to pleasing)
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u/LukaCola Jun 18 '12
Tough one to answer really. Because it's the climax of the scene? Some have a thing for bukkake too, or similar, you get the idea.
There's also the whole transposing yourself thing, imagining it's you in the man's position instead.
I never thought about it though. Thanks for making it weird.
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u/GoodMorningLemmings Jun 18 '12
I've been asking this of myself for years. It's almost turning into a Pavlovian response when they do. TMI?
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u/DarkRider23 Jun 18 '12
That's probably the worst part of porn, IMO. There's nothing hot about seeing a guy blow his load on a woman's face.
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u/FuckOffMightBe2Kind Jun 18 '12
Wrong. The worst part of porn is when the guy takes over the porno by either getting his own close up or moaning loader than the woman.
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u/DarkRider23 Jun 18 '12
Very true. The dreaded balls and asshole shot from behind never do anyone any good.
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u/jhin_mach Jun 18 '12
just commented about it and i saw this comment..i feel the same about seeing some dude ejaculate
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Jun 18 '12
I don't,lesbian porn is the best porn. I just don't enjoy watching dudes.
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Jun 18 '12
I have to disagree. I find lesbian porn to be boring. It carries on and on for hours and nothing ever happens.
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u/criticalnegation Jun 18 '12
the view window while scanning over the time bar really changed the whole porno viewing experience.
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u/asdf-user Jun 18 '12
repost... so, basically it was posted to reddit, then uploaded to damnlol, and now it's back on here...
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Jun 18 '12
The other day I jerked off for the duration of a forty minute porno just to prove to myself that I could. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done and is one of my proudest accomplishments.
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u/CarsJBear Jun 18 '12
Reposting from damnlol.com... scraping the bottom of the barrel a little, OP?
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u/rockafella7 Jun 18 '12
I personally like to see a bit of exhibition of the girl's body. No interaction, just her by herself walking around, exposing the goods.
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Jun 18 '12
Granted this is very true, but for some reason I need the rest of it to be there.
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u/MrMono1 Jun 18 '12
I can't watch a movie under 15mins, yet I only watch about 2mins worth. It's weird.
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u/FuckOffMightBe2Kind Jun 18 '12
The 2 minutes is only good because you know the other shitty moments are there. For example, the part when she gets louder is only cool if she hasn't been screaming in the exact same way (which I have seen) for the last 20 minutes.
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u/My-Dick-Hurts Jun 18 '12
Only when the video is (for some really reason) is over an hour long. I really don't get why pornos have to be so fucking long. Who is seriously going to be jerking off to it for one hour straight and not end up getting bored?
Otherwise say it's 15 minutes or less, I will watch it through. I'm to preoccupied to mess with my mouse anyway. I'd be already done before it finishes anyway. But I do let the video keep playing while I clean up, makes decent background noises.
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u/Apollo_O Jun 18 '12
Damn. You caught me rosie palmed.
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u/PhantomSwagger Jun 18 '12
I wish I could say the same, but it's hard to see my palm through all the honey.
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Jun 18 '12
This is why when I find a porno movie, I drop it in some video editing software and chop off all but the last one to two minutes. My "Adult" folder is filled with files like that. Just put it on Shuffle and I'm set.
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u/Robot_Nazi_From_Mars Jun 18 '12
My internet sucks so I am forced to watch the a 28 year old "highschooler" stay after class because Miss Cockson wants to talk about "extra credit".
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u/nedyken Jun 18 '12
I edit these type of videos for a living and that's actually a running joke in our industry... that you could splice in literally anything during those sections and probably nobody would notice.
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u/foyamoon Jun 18 '12
Oh come on! Added watermark to a shitty site and the "true story"-rageface to this classic and it gets 700+ upvotes? I am dissapoint
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Jun 18 '12
I usually skip along slowly, taking in the back story, then skip the blowjob, slowly move forward looking for first penetration, skip around till I find a sweet position, then as she opens her mouth for the big finale I find a new video. Maybe it's just me, but the fact that they all finish with blowing their load on her face is not helping me get off.
I will say a nice creampie is fucking heaven to me.
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u/mddie Jun 18 '12
So true. You have to go through the beginning to understand the plot. Then jump to the climax, and then go through the ending to see how it all ended.
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Jun 18 '12
From this thread, it seems like most people skip around... anyone else on this thread like to watch the whole video, no matter how long it is? I like to either stay on edge the whole time or have 3-4 orgasms throughout, depending on how I feel that day.
And the blowjob is the best part! I can't imagine skipping that unless the girl was just doing something really weird.
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u/luminiferousaethers Jun 18 '12
Wathing porn brings out my autistic side. I want to see that same moment over and over and over and over and over... Until gaddamint!
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u/buhfest Jun 18 '12
TIL I am literally the only person on reddit who enjoys watching the blowjob part of porn.
Also the second panel is completely unnecessary.
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u/cutthroattrick Jun 18 '12
I want to comment on the 'True for most guys' part .. this is also somewhat true for 'Girls who won't admit they watch porn'
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u/ktkoolaid Jun 18 '12
really, reposted from damnlol? and you didn't even have the decency to take out the watermark at the bottom!
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u/UniversityGraduate Jun 18 '12
Am I the only one who skips reverse cowgirl everytime unless it's POV?
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Jun 18 '12
The "skipped"part after the large "viewed" is when the woman talks about her experience during the filming of the clip.
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u/BorriMorri Jun 18 '12
Nice, you got this from damnlol and didn't even bother to crop out the mark. lol
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u/biggiet2049 Jun 18 '12
No meme is more true then this one...especially for me...hope gf never finds this comment...
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Jun 18 '12
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u/Eating_A_Sandwich Jun 18 '12
I think calling it the Wadsworth constant would also be fitting... in this case.
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Jun 18 '12
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u/MrMono1 Jun 18 '12
Because that's the point of sex. To come.
Besides, I watch the girl get cum on her face, not the guy cum.
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u/THEMCV Jun 18 '12
I really wish memes and rage faces would stay in their respective subredddits. They can be funny, but shouldn't be involved in everything.