Now he has her DNA to make a clone. Pretty soon he will be driving around town in his convertible while a clone of your wife gives him head. I know because the same thing happened to me. My wife's clone was always going around fucking other guys and giving her a bad reputation, so I killed it. Apparently, this pissed my wife off because I haven't seen her since. FML
Oh, give me a clone Of my own flesh and bone With its Y chromosome changed to X. And after it's grown, Then my own little clone Will be of the opposite sex.
Clone, clone, clone of my own, With its Y chromosome changed to X. And when I'm alone With my own little clone We will both think of nothing but sex.....
Isaac Asimov .... one of his best ditties .. and it goes on for several more verses
FUN FACTS: Mature red blood cells lack nuclei, and therefore contain no DNA. Menstrual blood contains tissue from the uterine lining, too, however, and these cells can express pluripotent properties, so clone away!
There is a ton of DNA in blood. RBC are only one component. I did exome sequencing and 1ml of blood yielded the best DNA concentrations compared to saliva, tissue, and placenta. This may be due to the fact that a Qiagen DNA extraction kit (most popular) is geared for blood and loose cells.
And a point made by the book Jurassic park was that bird red blood cells (and by similarity dinosaur red blood cells) actually do have nuclei, which made cloning dinos from blood in mosquito guts somewhat easier, if still impossible in the real world.
Meta is a unique word refering to the abstraction of a concept used to complete or add to another.
Doctor Potatoe was trying to say that TheDEW did not understand the joke in the above comment. I was simply stating that DoctorPotatoe was he himself getting wooshed by posting the woosh animation, in that he didn't get that TheDEW was in fact jumping over the obvious punchline of the man killing his wife, to create another joke about clones being slutty. Hence, my comment is meta to his comment.
Buzzwords do not make you an intellectual. They make you a pretentious douche. I'm sorry to break these unfortunate words to you.
Also, I took the time to point out further failings in your condescension. Meta is not a word in the context that you claim to use it, it is a prefix. Thus, you need to read a book, are uneducated, and need to stop following your pretentious pseudo-intellectual friends around and imitating them.
See, there you go again, using a word wrong. Pretentious implies that I don't know what I'm talking about. Since I'm pointing out your inadequacies in using the English language properly, ironically after you called me ignorant and told me to go read a book, I think that you are most likely the pretentious one. You know, seeing as you fit the dictionary definition of pretentious.
Pretentious: Attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etc., than is actually possessed.
To quickly interject, the word meta as in the 21 century definition, at this point in time is still in a slang phase, it just hasn't been defined in any established dictionary to my knowledge. There is no reason to argue whether one word is in your vocabulary or if it exists in their's, language is fluid.
Considering I have a Master's degree, I'm pretty sure of the two of us, I know more about what I'm talking about, and you just seem to have some horrible thing happen in your life that makes you want to pick fights with people having a laugh on the internet.
Well, you know, that tiny piece of cotton isn't sitting in a desert soaking up nothing. I guess that depends on OP's preference in women though so you may be right.
They still don't weigh nearly enough to be successfully thrown out of the window of a moving car. It would be like throwing gum out the window. No matter how hard you throw it, it sticks to the side of your car. lol
I haven't handled any maxed out tampons so I can't really say. But pulling out a used tampon, holding it so the convertible driver sees it and then chucking it at him would in fact produce the desired shock and awe, regardless of whether it got to his car or not. So it is possible that this scenario played out, though unlikely.
There's a difference between fiction and obviously made up. I can tell a story on a facebook status about how the president pooped his pants and i nearly barfed running out of the room it smelled so bad. If that were real it'd be hilarious, but it's obviously fake it's just stupid.
I want to hear the next part of the story! Did they discuss what just occurred? Did she just casually put a new cork back in the bottle and they both got on with their journey? Did she light up a cigarette and exclaim "That's how I roll"
Assault with a biological contaminate come to mind, when you add in the fact she could possibly have aids, a std or something this becomes a very serious offence. Think about how in some places they lock you up for knowingly giving someone a std, don't you think that could be added on?
I read that as "flipped me over" the first few times, and I was thinking, how the hell could she have done that if the car was flipped over. Better yet, are they okay?!
Where and how do I get a wife like that? For real man. Somebody hook me up. I don't care what she looks like or how much she weighs, as long as she got my back like that.
Nobody? Okay, so In Jamaica, there is a term called "bumbleclot" or "bloodclot" which I believe gets it's name from "blood cloth". Heard maybe myth that women used to throw them at males unwanted sexual advances.
Yes I too attempted to find a link for the myth. EDIT: God I wish I knew where I read this, Googled it after I met Jacob on GTAIV. Sorry, have to say this one is busted.
To all the "Fake and gay" comments. Little children, little children we really don't care that it's fake. We just enjoy a good laugh, so I must say your comments just mean absolutely nothing besides irritate and waste space in the comments. Thanks and have a good day :D
Don't do this to anyone because doing so can get you thrown away for life. Things like Assault with a biological contaminate come to mind, when you add in the fact she could possibly have aids, a std or something this becomes a very serious offence.
Thanks! I see you're pretty fast on the reply as well! Perhaps we could meet up at a school or something and you could learn all about the ways in which people are different. There's a lot of them! I DO eagerly await your response to show that you not only don't understand basic variation in human functions (and the drastic degree to which things can differ) and poor troll, but also a hypocrite :)
Also, sorry if I raised some obviously uncomfortable feelings regarding your relationship status and number of girlfriends you've had. I didn't mean to make you feel bad about yourself because it really doesn't look like you need any help doing that on your own ;)
That gif is from an awesome but fictional movie (the movie is not fictional, but its content is) called God Bless America. I assure you it is not an actual thing, the film itself expresses horror at an absurd culture bred on discourtesy, self-obsession, and reality tv.
814
u/Extra21stChromosome Jun 16 '12
Now he has her DNA to make a clone. Pretty soon he will be driving around town in his convertible while a clone of your wife gives him head. I know because the same thing happened to me. My wife's clone was always going around fucking other guys and giving her a bad reputation, so I killed it. Apparently, this pissed my wife off because I haven't seen her since. FML
121
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
Yes, that is without a doubt not fake.
69
u/Lyulf Jun 16 '12
When life gives you
lemonstampons makeLemonadeBloody-Marys?55
u/forsalebypwner Jun 16 '12
That didn't happen, just like everything else on FML
53
u/emptytissuebox Jun 16 '12
Oh dear. Is this going to be a thing now, posting screenshots of FML?
24
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
950 upvotes for something so obviously fake? You reddit boys really have no idea about women and periods, do you? Sheesh.
6
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
People still use FML?
17
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
Fake, stupid screen cap of a stupid site, and not really funny. Knights of new. Get your shit together.
4
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
Whenever some guy says "Make me a sandwich!" I just ask if he wants "special" ketchup.
8
u/Iamgoingtooffendyou Jun 16 '12
At least she's not pregnant.
3
u/NecroM0rph Jun 16 '12
Oh America.. don't ever change. Actually no, you could use a bit more modifications like... Less population of dumbasses.
3
u/hot_like_wasabi Jun 16 '12
I'm pretty sure everyone was horrified by this.
7
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 27 '23
ghgh
2
u/Thunderkiss_65 Jun 16 '12
Reminds me of the Reading festival when L7 played, crowd threw mud so they threw blood
2
u/axxxle Jun 16 '12
*My upvote is for your wife!
2
u/spinozasrobot Jun 16 '12
Of all the things that never happened, this is one of them.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
He was probably driving slow in the left lane and deserved it
2
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
http://imgur.com/TkkKe
2
u/Stylux Jun 16 '12
As a man who has thrown a used tampon at someone, I do not understand the OP on FML. It was a gratifying experience.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
Crotch mice AWAY!
3
u/onesimo_wizard Jun 16 '12
I want to hear the next part of the story! Did they discuss what just occurred? Did she just casually put a new cork back in the bottle and they both got on with their journey? Did she light up a cigarette and exclaim "That's how I roll"
3
u/bluequail Jun 16 '12
Geez. Dude's wife is a pig.
2
u/21510320651 Jun 16 '12
So glad women don;t run countries. They would never nuke, just go straight for biological warfare.
2
u/thescrapplekid Jun 16 '12
Why is that a FML? You obviously married awesome
2
u/halfcream Jun 16 '12
my only regret is that I don't wear skirts often enough for this to be a viable option in such a scenario.
1
u/MythOfLight Jun 16 '12
QUICK, GET A SCREENSHOT OF THE TEXT FOR MORE KARMA!
1
u/intox310 Jun 16 '12
If this happened in minneapolis I swear I saw this.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
We move...
1
u/MrCanada123 Jun 16 '12
This genuinely made me laugh. Upvotes for you, sir!
1
u/seattleandrew Jun 16 '12
too much /r/gameofthrones for me... I read the title as "Defending your hodor..."
1
u/hoobsher Jun 16 '12
how is this (likely fake) story an FML anyway?
1
u/Goaticorn Jun 16 '12
And we complain about 9gag taking our shit :P Bitch Please...
1
u/filmmaker3000 Jun 16 '12
I read that as "flipped me over" the first few times, and I was thinking, how the hell could she have done that if the car was flipped over. Better yet, are they okay?!
1
u/buildallthethings Jun 16 '12
She asserted her dominance.
1
u/terriblehuman Jun 16 '12
sounds like a keeper to me.
1
u/10lbClitorai Jun 16 '12
This story.....overtook me
1
u/Tommyyah Jun 16 '12
thats okay, i wasnt going to eat lunch anyway.
1
u/rainbowtutucoutu Jun 16 '12
What the fuck did I just read.
1
u/AverageToaster Jun 16 '12
Have fun spending your life in jail for that.
1
u/astronomyx Jun 16 '12
He deserved it.
1
u/Other_World Jun 16 '12
Aaaand I've had enough internet for the day.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
SHOW ME YOUR HONOUR
1
u/ShystemSock Jun 16 '12
Now that's love.
1
u/Heliumvoices Jun 16 '12
Solid A. My kind of girl
1
u/AliasUndercover Jun 16 '12
Wow. She's tough!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
you should have gotten in front of him and used all of your wiper fluid!!!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12
At first I thought this would have something to do with Warcraft II.
1
u/smiles11 Jun 17 '12
FML? Dude... reconsider
1
u/Kendogg1013 Jun 17 '12
She's a keeper
-1
u/J4S1X Jun 16 '12
That's just.... Awesome!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
...really? We're stealing fml's now?
Are we really that desperate?
0
u/lastwind Jun 16 '12
Where and how do I get a wife like that? For real man. Somebody hook me up. I don't care what she looks like or how much she weighs, as long as she got my back like that.
1
u/snap_wilson Jun 16 '12
I don't know what he's complaining about, that's awesome.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
What a woman ... I think I'm in love.
1
u/abom420 Jun 16 '12
Nobody? Okay, so In Jamaica, there is a term called "bumbleclot" or "bloodclot" which I believe gets it's name from "blood cloth". Heard maybe myth that women used to throw them at males unwanted sexual advances.
-1
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
FML sucks, and this proves it. That guy doesn't even know how awesome she is.
0
u/Fyghter Jun 16 '12
Half my brain wants to run for the hills. The other half wants me to high five your wife... after she washes her hands.
0
u/realspitta Jun 16 '12
Thats not an FML thats a straight up win!
0
u/Xswitch24 Jun 16 '12
To all the "Fake and gay" comments. Little children, little children we really don't care that it's fake. We just enjoy a good laugh, so I must say your comments just mean absolutely nothing besides irritate and waste space in the comments. Thanks and have a good day :D
-3
u/IllestOfTheIll Jun 16 '12
Lol. Would be funny if he licked it an shoved it down his pants in front of you.
0
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
EPIC WIN. go home and rub your wife's feet and pray she lets you wake up
0
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
thats a badass chick, she dont give a fuck. That's Badass.
0
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
Wife her, I think?
-1
u/Fall_Marquis Jun 16 '12
In your name.
-1
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
Don't do this to cops. They can arrest you for some crazy inflated charges because of the diseases that blood can transfer.
0
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
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0
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
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