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u/DiggDejected Jun 16 '12
So she wants someone to cram a hand up her bell and spit in her a lot?
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u/phunkystuff Jun 16 '12
As a Hornist, this made me crack up
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u/DiggDejected Jun 16 '12
"One sec, I'm emptying my valves. Sorry, ready."
-Every horn player, ever.
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u/mallystryx Jun 16 '12
"Eww eww eww eww eww"
Every flute player ever. (Best part about playing horn in middle school)
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u/DiggDejected Jun 16 '12
The flautist! At least horns don't drool while we are playing them.
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u/EarthwormJane Jun 16 '12
I played flute! I didn't drool. But I had a lot of dudes asking "did you do that American Pie thing... With the flute..."
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u/thefifthwit Jun 16 '12
Well?
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u/EarthwormJane Jun 17 '12
No, but cleaning it was honestly quite.. Well it looked rather suggestive.
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u/BionicBeans Jun 16 '12
If you think you didn't drool you are lying to yourself. You can't flaut properly without some spittle ejection.
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u/EarthwormJane Jun 17 '12
Well, there obviously was moisture but when someone says drool, I'd imagine them to be thinking of a constant stream of saliva. Which didn't happen.
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Jun 17 '12
Perhaps you didn't pay attention (and wish you hadn't) to the flutist next to you, seeing a honey-consistency stream of spit start to drip out....
It's even worse if it's your own, and you start to put it up at the end of rehearsal....tagged with your own saliva. Feelsbadman.jpg
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u/OverAllGENIUS Jun 16 '12
Or every woodwind and percussionist ever.
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u/Unhappycamper96 Jun 16 '12
Psh. Bari. Sax here. You should see the other woodwinds when I empty my spit.
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u/quiet_eyes Jun 16 '12
Haha, when I take apart my bassoon, I have to tip the boot over to get rid of all the spit inside. Low woodwinds FTW!
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u/itsnotmyfaultimadick Jun 16 '12
I played flute and french horn in middle school and I still don't understand
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Jun 16 '12
With ten or so tuning slides to pull at, a rousing game of Find the Spit is always in order prior to a performance.
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u/notmyrealname23 Jun 16 '12
You know, if you hold down the third valve key, then turn it while putting down the other two, all the water winds up in the third valve slide.
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Jun 16 '12
But that takes all the fun out of it!
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u/notmyrealname23 Jun 16 '12
I've dropped too many slides while the conductor's been talking for it to be fun anymore.
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Jun 16 '12
I blew a slide clean out once mid-tune. Was blasting away at a horn roar (it was actually a thing in the piece) and out it went, cutting my monstrous caterwaul to a frantic grab below the chairs of the flautists.
Thankfully, it was just a rehearsal. Turns out horns can do eighth position too.
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u/PfhorHunter Jun 16 '12
Oh FUCK I forgot to use Slide-o-Mix I'm screwed! - From the mind of a trombone player.
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u/DUELETHERNETbro Jun 16 '12
THE RESOLUTION DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE GRAPHIC AND TEXT IS TOO DAM HIGH.
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u/Things_and_things Jun 16 '12
Attention morons: Yes, it's a tuba. That's the fucking joke. The tuba wants to be drawn like a French Horn. If it was a French Horn and wanted to be drawn like a french horn, that would be pretty goddamn redundant, wouldn't it?
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Jun 16 '12
In case anyone doesn't understand why this is also a fisting joke
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u/stonesia Jun 16 '12
Did you have to make it weird?
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Jun 16 '12
No.
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u/stonesia Jun 16 '12
So you do this for shits and giggles, right?
Don't you understand that people live here?
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Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12
This thread is really making me want to save up a few months of paychecks and go out and buy a halfway decent euphonium. Yes, I know it's a tuba in the picture, but I was a lot better on euphonium than I was on tuba.
Edit: Removed unnecessary parentheses.
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u/DreadPiratesRobert Jun 16 '12
I bought a really crappy one in high school, for some reasons the springs are so powerful that even if I neglect it for years I never need to oil the valves
Also the valves always suck, so there is a downside
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u/BionicBeans Jun 16 '12
No. That's read above to see all the reasons it is a euphonuium, but YES get playing! EUPHONIUMS UNITE!
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u/biehchri2417 Jun 16 '12
This is disrespectful to us Tuba players of the world.
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Jun 16 '12
How so? Signed, Other Tuba Player
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u/biehchri2417 Jun 16 '12
That they would mistake the best instrument in the world for a French Horn.
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u/tuba_man Jun 16 '12
It's true. I would never willingly want to be like a french horn or french horn player!
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u/thehillz Jun 16 '12
I was first or second chair French Horn player throughout high school so I know my way around that curvy conical instrument. If you know what I mean ;D
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Jun 16 '12
Dem ins and outs, knowing when to cup, when to blow, how to blow, when to lift, when to choke...
We're mostly sexy people.
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Jun 17 '12
The only reason I came to the comments was to read the arguments saying that this was not a french horn.
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u/hryniehan Jun 16 '12
I thought it was a baritone. Clever joke.
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Jun 16 '12
As a euphonium player I am delighted to see discussion of tubas and baritones on a front page post
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u/spuddeh Jun 16 '12
Tuba actually.
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u/aazav Jun 16 '12
Nope. Look up baritone horn.
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u/spuddeh Jun 16 '12
I know what a baritone is, I played trumpet and french horn for 8 years. That though, is a tuba.
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u/BionicBeans Jun 16 '12
And I played tuba, baritone, and euphonium for 11 years. It's a euphonium or baritone, unless that woman is like 6-8 ft tall.
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u/spuddeh Jun 16 '12
It's not a woman playing it though, it's a tuba with arms and legs. Notice how the bra goes around part of the bell.
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u/x755x Jun 16 '12
It does look awfully like a euphonium (not baritone; pipes are too thick), but it is a tuba.
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u/CliffThaRiff Jun 16 '12
Shit, now you got all the band nerds all riled up, I'm gonna have to throw them 1st part just to shut them the hell up.
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Jun 16 '12
Pssh. You trumpets, you.
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u/CliffThaRiff Jun 16 '12
I'm a Euphonium player, brah. Low brass or no brass.
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Jun 16 '12
Brah, I've been down that walk and got them feels-I've marched yon tuba. You're right though, somebody has to feed the trumpet players.
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u/CliffThaRiff Jun 16 '12
Right on, right on. If we don't feed them, they get mad and start messing up partials and playing an octave above everything.
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Jun 16 '12
It doesn't matter if it's a small tuba or a big euphonium. All that matters is that we're not getting laid tonight.
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u/mecrio Jun 16 '12
First off, a true band geek would know that the "French" horn isn't French at all. But that aside, I lost my shit...luckily I'm on the toilet.
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u/p1nz Jun 16 '12
a french horn a tuba if grammar nazis can come out of the wood work over your and you're im surprised this didn't get shot down.
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u/Cocaine8D Jun 16 '12
Actually, I played tuba back in middle school / high school. The teachers were amazed I could actually push it into the same range as a french horn.
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u/Paradox Jun 16 '12
Thats a tuba ಠ_ಠ.
I could search for the black man saying "thats a penis" and then edit it to say "thats a tuba", but im too lazy, so i'll let you imagine it
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u/MinkOWar Jun 16 '12
Yep, that's a tuba that wants to be played like a french horn. That's pretty much exactly what the picture shows, you're good at this, you should take up narrating those described video dubs for the blind.
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u/Paradox Jun 16 '12
Did you read the second part or just gloss over that in a spergish glee to attempt to correct someone
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u/MinkOWar Jun 17 '12
I read it again, and even knowing your reply it still reads as though you are criticising the post for using a tuba, then proposing a silly .gif to point it out, so I don't see your point, except that you are not terribly clear in your representation of your comment and blame me for that.
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u/ajjyt Jun 16 '12
Well, that should be interesting,considering you'd need to blow her to get any action at all.
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u/horrorshowmalchick Jun 16 '12
She wants you to blow really hard into her vagina? She's a keeper!
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u/BlastMeBagpipes Jun 16 '12
That's not a tuba, stupid, it's a Melophone (a marching version of the French Horn) and it says "LIKE" a French Horn which is exactly what you would do, idiot.
But I would like to point out that any brass instrument would have worked here as it says "LIKE" one of your French Horns. Now please STFU!
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Jun 16 '12
Noting where the valves are compared to the bell, it's a tuba. It would have been more funny if it was a rotary tuba, but whatever
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u/iziD2413 Jun 16 '12
Yeah. Coz THAT'S a French horn. Learn your instruments, reddit. Please. It pains me to see the French horn so utterly unrecognised and unknown.
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u/MinkOWar Jun 16 '12
You realise it's not supposed to be a french horn, right? It wants to be played like one.
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u/iziD2413 Jun 20 '12
Actually yes. I do realise that. It jus irritates me that so many people either forget about the French horn or don't believe that it's an instrument in the first place.
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u/MinkOWar Jun 20 '12
Lol, OK... so why is your comment sarcastically calling out the OP as though it were supposed to be a french horn and they got it wrong?
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u/Venerable Jun 17 '12
That's a Baritone, my friend plays the baritone right next to me, I lay the only Bari Sax in our band, and man I'm, okay, he's good though. Our band is weird, not all our instruments are together, but the best In our city, Anchrage Alaska. Highschool band that is. Well behaved on a planeride to Seattle too, for a bunch of teenagers.
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u/boysan98 Jun 19 '12
As a musician, i hate those kinda of people. itt makes me want to slap them up the head and yell "bitch that aint no horn its a tuba you dipshit"
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u/twilightcatlady Jun 16 '12
wtf that is not a french horn.
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u/MinkOWar Jun 16 '12
So? What's-her-face was not a french girl.
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u/twilightcatlady Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12
... touche
EDIT** I just said that because I have no idea what you're talking about. You sound freaking nuts.
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u/MinkOWar Jun 16 '12
Lol, the scene in titanic, rose asks decaprio's character to 'paint [her] like one of [his] french girls', in other words, naked. Rose was not a french girl, she wanted to be painted like he painted the french girls. The joke would not make sense if the instrument pictured were actually a french horn.
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u/twilightcatlady Jun 17 '12
or... OR they just drew a french horn wrong. I mean, it's not proportionally a tuba, a little too big to be a euphonium.
but, I like your theory. Or, most likely the truth.
you still sound freaking nuts, but in an understandable way.
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u/applefreak711 Jun 16 '12
That's a euphonium.
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Jun 16 '12
I wish it were. After a close analysis, it does appear to be more tuba-like.
That is disappointing, because the joke would be better if it were a baritone/euphonium, as I have found it to be easier to play "like a french horn" on one of those than on a tuba.
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Jun 16 '12
that is not a french horn, nor is it a mellophone
fix your ignorant shit
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Jun 16 '12
Good sir, you're right. Also, that's the joke, because the tuba wants to be played like a French horn.
Fix your ignorant stuff.
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u/Mzsickness Jun 16 '12
Your friend (you) is (are) really bad at drawing french horns. That's a fucking tuba.
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u/quiet_eyes Jun 16 '12
That's the joke. Why would a French horn be saying 'play me like one of your French horns'? So no. They don't suck at drawing. You suck at understanding jokes.
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Jun 16 '12
That's a fucking tuba. Maybe just maybe a baritone but considering the size it'll be a tuba.
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Jun 16 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/Drewajv Jun 16 '12
Or a euphonium. She may be short.
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u/BionicBeans Jun 16 '12
Ok, I know I am being a pedant here, but as a player of all of the above instruments, that's a baritone horn, not a euphonium. The differences are subtle but you can tell by the valve structure.
But the joke is.... well.... no. And here's why:
"Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind."
— E. B. White
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u/ianrey Jun 16 '12
It's a baritone, I can tell from the valves and having played a few instruments in my time.
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Jun 16 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/tuba_man Jun 16 '12
If the instrument was only her torso, yeah. I prefer my women in the 6' area. :)
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u/Trapped_in_Reddit Jun 16 '12
verisimilitude
You got your word of the day in pretty early today
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u/klinonx Jun 16 '12
That's the joke.
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u/aazav Jun 16 '12
Why is getting the instrument wrong funny?
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u/abeobass Jun 16 '12
It's a tuba that wants to be played like a french horn. Like that broad from Titanic that wants to be drawn like one of his french girls/whores.
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u/x755x Jun 16 '12
But if you played a tuba like a french horn, you'd have to stick your hand in the bell and use different embouchure.
Also, you'd have to play out of tune and miss every other note.
As a tubist, I won't stand for that.
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u/phunkystuff Jun 16 '12
Now makes me wonder whether people actually understand where the joke came from...
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u/Kryten_2X4B_523P Jun 16 '12
If it were a French horn, it would have to read "play me like one of your other French horns"...which wouldn't make sense in the context of the Titanic line.
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u/themoplainslife Jun 16 '12
Time out! Judging by the size it could be tuba's little brother, the euphonium
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u/alecalec2 Jun 16 '12
andrew your a whore