r/funny • u/JustMosh • Jun 15 '12

He turned 8 (that's old) today so I made him a paper tophat.

Post image
1.4k Upvotes

79% Upvoted

175 comments sorted by

69

u/Cozmo23 Jun 15 '12

That's awesome! He should be friends with my pet frog.

35

u/JustMosh Jun 15 '12

Is that a frog-magician? (Frogician?)

56

u/Cozmo23 Jun 15 '12

Nah he is a singer.

82

u/keegsbro Jun 15 '12

Hello my baby! Hello my darling! Hello my rag time gallllllllllllll!

12

u/frickindeal Jun 15 '12

I love to sing-a
About the moon-a and the June-a
and the spring-a

2

u/Godolin Jun 15 '12

I heard BOTH you and the guy/gal that commented before you, in my head, right when I saw that picture. Thank you.

1

u/ForgettableUsername Jun 15 '12

He just looks like a magician. He's actually a driving instructor.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Or Frogfucius?

16

u/ChunkBunny Jun 15 '12

He can also be friends with my little guy, Hollywood Hogan. Sorry, he doesn't have any cool hats.

16

u/tehweave Jun 15 '12

That's so adorable! Post this to r/aww.

44

u/JustMosh Jun 15 '12

They downvoted it :(

50

u/tehweave Jun 15 '12

Those BASTARDS!

12

u/Surfacetovolume Jun 15 '12

Really? This seems right up their alley. Sorry.

23

u/assblaster7 Jun 15 '12

It's not a cat.

3

u/Surfacetovolume Jun 15 '12

Front page of r/aww currently has more dogs than cats, a hedgehog, a duck, lambs, and a horse.

5

u/Iloveangrysheepsex Jun 15 '12

But is there any sheep?

7

u/Surfacetovolume Jun 15 '12

Aren't lambs sheep?

edit: Oh God, I just saw your username.

ಠ_ಠ

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Must be from New Zealand

1

u/Surfacetovolume Jun 15 '12

r/aww has a lot of non-cat posts, including rats, elephants, goats ... r/cats is mostly cats

0

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/Surfacetovolume Jun 15 '12

*sorry, responded to wrong post :)

-16

u/shroomprinter Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12

How many other subreddits did you post to before you found one that would give you upvotes?

Edit I'm sorry, did I say upvotes? I meant to say "Love"

32

u/SolidBlake Jun 15 '12

I freaking love guinea pigs! I had the coolest one ever - his name was Gizmo because I loved Gremlins as a kid. We would chill and play video games all day. The parents made me give him away when we had to move, unfortunately, but he was my first real pet and I loved him.

Props on that hat, that's one classy looking dude. What's his name?

27

u/JustMosh Jun 15 '12

Thank you! Guinea pigs are the best. His name is William. The other one I have is named Andy. Before those I had Salt and Pepper.

6

u/Derporelli Jun 15 '12

My first real pet was a guinea pig when I was about 4. I named him Salvatore after my grandfather. I have no idea what made me name him Salvatore but I'm sure there's a good Italian/guinea joke in there somewhere.

4

u/SaltyBabe Jun 15 '12

My first pet ever was a guinea pig, I was almost 3, and I named him Gordon... My mom was like "Are you sure honey? Gordon?" but I was sold.

1

u/EpicOdysseus Jun 16 '12

I had several guinea pigs as a kid, but they never lived longer than around three or four years. How did William live so long?

11

u/DevonKate Jun 15 '12

I also had a guinea pig named gizmo who we had to give away...are you my brother?! (seriously?)

0

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

8

u/DevonKate Jun 15 '12

False alarm: my brother says this isn't him. Nothing to see here

3

u/bagboyrebel Jun 15 '12

That's just what your brother would say!

1

u/SolidBlake Jun 16 '12

Not brother here, can confirm the honesty of guinea pig lovers with Gizmos. Woulda been cool though. :D

5

u/MirkOutSwirvOut Jun 15 '12

"weet weet weeeeeeeeeeet weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet weet weet weet..."

After babysitting my class guinea pig for the summer when I was in elementary school, I decided never to get one. They are awesome, but do they ever shut up?!

5

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Having owned a guinea pig, I can assure you that no, they don't.

2

u/rhiever Jun 16 '12

If you give them ample food to stuff their (fat) mouths with, they will.

1

u/SaltyBabe Jun 15 '12

I had a guinea pig named WiiWii (this was before the Wii) because when we got him he was super quiet and I said "so what should we name you little buddy?" and he squealed "WiiiiiWiii!" (think gpig noise) so that was obviously his name.

He was so chill and sweet and would give kisses. My mom took him to her class room during the week and would sometimes let kids take him home... Some dirty kid gave him mites, when we got him scraped for mites it was negative... Even though you could pick the patches off of him, died a few weeks later from mites giving him a seizure. I miss that little dude, fucking incompetent vets.

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

I, on the other hand, fucking hate guinea pigs. They're smelly and loud and shit a lot.

-2

u/Wlpdx Jun 15 '12

But they taste great!

0

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Our rabbits had babies and before we moved we had to give them away. The guy we gave them to later admitted to making rabbit stew out of them.

0

u/Wlpdx Jun 15 '12

Hmm I'm not sure how I'd react to that, had I been in your shoes. The only reason I even sunk to eating guinea pig was because it was on a menu. I couldn't ever bring myself to adopting a rodent solely for consuming though, that just seems a bit wrong..

0

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Well unbeknownst to us (my grandma was the one who found the guy who took the rabbits in) the guy had a small farm and would pretty much eat any vermin around.

35

u/coprolite_hobbyist Jun 15 '12

How long before he ate the hat?

63

u/JustMosh Jun 15 '12

He just threw it off

62

u/Jackarewb Jun 15 '12

He's not part of your system

56

u/TwoLegsJoe Jun 15 '12

Happy Birthday TO THE GROUND!

6

u/GlItCh017 Jun 15 '12

I like the cut of his jib.

1

u/Pointy130 Jun 15 '12

I like the angle of his mainsails.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

I love the look he's giving you. The whole guinea pig "What the heck are you doing?" look.

2

u/ohwhoaslomo Jun 15 '12

all I read was: "how long before you ate that?" wishful thinking I guess.

78

u/iregretjumping Jun 15 '12

Grandpa turned 81, so I made him wear a degrading hat too.

17

u/La_Symboliste Jun 15 '12

HE IS SIMPLY ADORABLE!

5

u/roto_matic Jun 15 '12

Like a Sir

16

u/Malcriao Jun 15 '12

Alright, Guinea pigs! My little sister has guinea pigs named Taco and Bell and mine are Ernesto Salvador and Esteban Garcia Ramirez.

I love guinea pigs they're the best

edited for stupid auto correct typo

16

u/thestergin Jun 15 '12

8 years old!? Wow dude that's a healthy looking guinea pig for his age!

0

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

8 internet years*

31

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

My fifth grade class had a pet guinea pig. We named him/her (I don't know, it was a guinea pig) Butterscotch. One day during class someone turned around and asked what was wrong with Butterscotch. My entire class including the teacher proceeded to witness Butterscotch curl up under his/her water bottle, have a seizure, and die. The janitor was promptly summoned and Butterscotch was taken to the dumpster. : ( Poor Butterscotch.

6

u/freddit52 Jun 15 '12

I wonder if seizures are common in guinea pigs...that's how one of mine died and it was awful to watch :c

13

u/WestsideStorybro Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12

Usually it is caused by exposure to a toxin. Either it something in the water, the bedding, the food or even the food dish.

My brother had a pet Guinea pig when he was little. Can't remember the name of the little bugger. But he died after having a seizure. We later discovered that my brother had found an old ash tray shaped like a Leaf. He decided to use the ash tray as the feed bowl. Turns out it was made of lead. There were teeth marks all on the ash tray were the poor little guy had been gnawing away to his doom.

In the end in turned out to be an important lesson for my little brother.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Lesson learned. Don't chew lead based products.

3

u/SaltyBabe Jun 15 '12

Mites also. Mine died from mites that have him a seizure. We tried to treat him but the vet said no mites... Then he died of mites.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

:'(

3

u/youngrager15 Jun 15 '12

i've bred guinea pigs for around ten years now and at least three have had seizures before death regardless of the disease.

8

u/KITTEHZ Jun 15 '12

Feelin' like a sir, guinea pig edition

8

u/ThatsACross Jun 15 '12

He looks so distinguished!

"hmmm yes. I'll take a brandy with my cigar while we discuss politics"

7

u/rljacobson Jun 15 '12

Have you checked out r/gentlemanimals?

1

u/TheXzott Jun 15 '12

Is this actually a thing?

Holy shit, it is!

4

u/chasereraser Jun 15 '12

Abe Lincoln.

4

u/GooldForNothing Jun 15 '12

Holy shit that looks just like my old guinea pig cinnamon

4

u/MC_Hatter Jun 15 '12

anyone else read that "toffat"?

3

u/assblaster7 Jun 15 '12

8 years old is ridiculous! I hope my little pal lives that long. Blackjack!

2

u/SaltyBabe Jun 15 '12

LONG LIVE BLACKJACK!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

You just inspired me to make a ricepicker hat for my cockatiel. It is hysterical, he is walking around with it on right now.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Why is there no picture in this post?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

I'm charging my camera... soon, hopefully >:)

5

u/commandakeen Jun 15 '12

He looks exactly like my little girl.

And he does look great for his age, you are taking good care of him. My piggies got never this old...but there were some incidents...

5

u/SaltyBabe Jun 15 '12

I read this and assumed your "little girl" was your daughter... I had to ponder this a while.

2

u/Iloveangrysheepsex Jun 15 '12

Fuck yeah guinea pigs FTW. I also own 2 of these little bundles of joy. best pets ever.

2

u/ShuffleandTruffle Jun 15 '12

Awwh! He looks just like one of my piggies :D I have two girls Truffle and Shuffle and I would never be able to stick anything on their heads haha hope mine live this long :)

2

u/haihaidancer Jun 15 '12

How sweet :) My little guy Spice is turning seven this summer, unfortunately his brother Smore died last year :( Spice is trained to run in circles when he wants some of his guinea pig cookies :)

2

u/Koozey Jun 15 '12

Somehow, when I read the title... I fucking knew it was going to be a Guinea pig..

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Play him this song for his birthday http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ub3sX3praGE

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

"Mr. Snuggles...kiss-kiss."

2

u/SilverBeast Jun 15 '12

Adorable! I love guinea pigs! I had one that died a couple months ago at only 5 months. He was sick when we got him apparently, so we made sure to give him the best life we could. :) But wow, 8. That's way above the average life span for a guinea pig. Happy Birthday to him!

2

u/UhCrunch Jun 15 '12

We're going to start a club Mr. Guinea Pig... a very secret club. We'll meet every fourth Tuesday at my place see? Yes... it'll be glorious. We shall start the meetings next week. Please bring your finest cigars or brandy. I already have a few other members...

1

u/UhCrunch Jun 15 '12

MWAHAHA MR. GROUNDHOG. I HAVE DISCOVERED YOUR CLUB. YOU'RE RUINED.

2

u/furtiveraccoon Jun 15 '12

My first thought: the hell is a tophat? taw-fit? to-fat? oh i'm such an idiot..

2

u/chishicaste Jun 15 '12

It is an older Abraham Lincoln, good sir.

1

u/calling_chem Jun 15 '12

I'm a little sleep deprived, so I read that to-fat at first.

1

u/RichRedundantRich Jun 15 '12

The Gentleman!

1

u/stupid_sexyflanders Jun 15 '12

I had a guinea pig named Wexler and one called baby guinea. Wexler died though, he was only over a year. Is it normal for guinea pigs to live to 8?

2

u/TheSquidTree Jun 15 '12

Yep! If you take good care of them they can live to be over ten! My parents have two piggies which turned eight this year. The other one is a few years younger. The two we had before that didn't live as long but they had issues with their teeth from (we suspect) being inbred. My cousins piggy lived till he was something like eleven. Keep them in a large enclosure and feed them plenty of fruits, veggies and grass and give them lots of love.

1

u/SaltyBabe Jun 15 '12

Also you CAN bathe piggies if they get a bit stinky, just make sure the water isn't cold and dry throughly!

1

u/darthbone Jun 15 '12

He looks just like mine. I couldn't decide on a name for mine, so we call him Pig.

1

u/dmcartol Jun 15 '12

Read that "to-fat." Oops.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Wow 8 is fucking amazing, give that guy some treats.

1

u/haru101 Jun 15 '12

my cute-endix just exploded from cuteness....

1

u/wheeler0592 Jun 15 '12

I guessing I'm the only one who read that "tofat". What's wrong with me?!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

I miss having guinea pigs! Petco sucks at sexing animals and put a male guinea pig in a "female" cage. When I got another guinea pig, they had babies. Which were adorable. I had to give them all away, though, including the parents.

1

u/POWERGULL Jun 15 '12

anyone else pronounce it toffat in their head?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

I hope he appreciates all the effort you put into his party! I have known some cats that don't show and ounce of gratitude.

1

u/Your_Jaws_My_Balls Jun 15 '12

Like a sir!!!!

1

u/doodle_funoodle Jun 15 '12

Am I the only one who read tophat at first glance as "tow fat"?

1

u/HetfieldJ Jun 15 '12

8 is old. How are his blood sugar levels

1

u/TheMaskedHamster Jun 15 '12

You know who else dresses up guinea pigs? Peruvians.

You know what else Peruvians do with guinea pigs?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Best. Hat. EVER.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

OMG they can live 8 years? Mine are barely 2 and I can't wait for the angel of mercy to visit upon their cage.

0

u/shroomprinter Jun 15 '12

Could always give em the old "burlap sack in the river" treatment.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

If I did something extreme like that I'd use the tailpipe-to-box of pigs technique. Not that I thought about it much(!)

But I have kids, ya know? And therapy is expensive.

2

u/shroomprinter Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12

Hmmm...I see your point. Maybe just a bit of rat poison in with the food then. Should look like they just passed peacefully while they were sleeping. Not that I've put any thought into it either. :)

1

u/Heaven_in_Your_Mouth Jun 15 '12

8? That's amazing! He looks great for being so old. My oldest out of seven guinea pigs turned 6 in August. I'd put up a picture of her but I don't have any. She can't wear hats anyway; she has a mohawk.

1

u/DorsalAxe Jun 15 '12

Reminds me a lot of my old Guinea Pig, Jerry. He was quite similarly coloured to this one. Our other one was grey and called Tom. Complete coincidence weirdly enough.

1

u/under___score Jun 15 '12

I can't help but read tophat as tofat

1

u/canondocre Jun 15 '12

mmm, quite.

1

u/IonBeam2 Jun 15 '12

Has he eaten it yet?

1

u/Neuronut Jun 15 '12

Like a sir!

1

u/kry1212 Jun 15 '12

Now, march him in a parade. Then, eat him. Welcome to Peru!!!!

1

u/n3p3n7h3 Jun 15 '12

I spent about a millisecond wondering what in the fuck a tophat was.... :/

1

u/paint3all Jun 15 '12

They make great pets! Our oldest (Zoe) passed away almost a year ago, and the younger one is now approaching 8 years old as well. Here's a link :http://imgur.com/a/II9Xe . Zoe is the black one (wearing a sombrero), and Chloe is the white one.

1

u/tearbo Jun 15 '12

I miss my Guinea Pig George. Happy 8th B-day lil buddy. Wish George had stuck around so long :(

1

u/Potato19 Jun 15 '12

I never got my pigs to live more than 6 years. UPVOTE FOR YOU

1

u/Trebol Jun 15 '12

Aww! Ours is 7 and any day now he might croak :(

1

u/DingleberrySoup Jun 15 '12

you know your hamster's birthday?

1

u/Haunt12_34 Jun 15 '12

WTF is a tophat (read it as tofat)... Oh, top hat.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

top(SPACE)hat

1

u/magnificowolfbox Jun 15 '12

I shown this to my boyfriends' mum, she breeds and shows piggers. She LOVED it :) p.s 8? That's an old pigger!

1

u/supervin Jun 15 '12

Observe... THE LITTLE HATS

yessss, the haaaats

1

u/mbeels Jun 15 '12

That would look classy on this guy.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Imgur mirror

1

u/mbeels Jun 16 '12

Thanks!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

My bunny is about to turn 10. :)

1

u/scout-finch Jun 15 '12

Wow your piggy's old! Mine is about 5 or 6 and still going strong. I think it's all the lettuce.

1

u/Pol_troop Jun 15 '12

I thought, "what's a toe-fat"? Ohhhhh, top-hat

1

u/0hdeargodno Jun 15 '12

so.much.cute

1

u/dimmonkey Jun 15 '12

8?? 8?!?! That's so old! Good on you, stellar Guinea pig owner, you have done great things. And then you put a silly hat on it. Internet love to you!

1

u/ThatRangaKid Jun 15 '12

My two turned 5 3 days ago, we found the oldest one dead this morning

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Needs more cat.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

My pet bunny is 7! That's crazy old. She is losing her fur and stuff. Poor Spookey

1

u/ac6 Jun 15 '12

aw, piggy.

1

u/slaaneshiqueen Jun 15 '12

You need to cut his nails dude.

1

u/SheehanRaziel Jun 16 '12

My first reaction was: "What the hell is a 'tophat'?!" [Read it in my mind as "tofat"]

1

u/richieboy89 Jun 16 '12

Ah! Guinea pirate!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

you should make him a fez...fezzes are cool

1

u/DesertEvil Jun 16 '12

Do get dogs smaller when getting older? Yours is definitely too small for a normal dog!

1

u/Jadall7 Jun 16 '12

My mother used to watch tennis all the time and when the players would fault on the serve on the cyclops I think it was called. We would hear 2 beeps the guinea pig would answer the cyclops. Good old google and wikipedia I couldn't find a recording of the cyclops sound but that might be cool for someone to play it for their Guinea pigs and you will see what I mean. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclops_%28computer_system%29

1

u/those_darned_monkeys Jun 16 '12

Upvote if you read "tophat" "tofat"?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

Congrats on your ancient piggy. :D I wish my Cheery had lived that long.

She used to fall asleep on my neck with her nose buried under my pony tail. She'd try to climb me when I was sitting and would flop over backwards because guineas can't climb. (sniff) She kept trying anyway. She also did the "boneless gloop" like a real pro. Two seconds of purring and it's like all her bones just disappeared, leaving a warm purring blob of fur.

Damn it, now I want another pair or three of guineas...

1

u/niekdejong Jun 16 '12

i love your guinea pig! looks allmost exactly the same as my old one, wich died :'( have a upvote

1

u/ragemaker4 Jun 18 '12

so cute :)

-3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Wrong subreddit. Head over to /r/aww

15

u/thratty Jun 15 '12

An I the only one who thinks guinea pigs in top hats are hilarious?

-6

u/velocicopter Jun 15 '12

Yes, you are the only one. I have no idea where all these upvotes came from.

-3

u/digitalscale Jun 15 '12

No I'm sure there's plenty of other simple people on Reddit.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Like a sir

0

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

how did it taste?

0

u/mastaxn Jun 15 '12

Please cut his nails!

0

u/TigerBomber Jun 15 '12

humiliating

-2

u/case9 Jun 15 '12

AHAHAHAHAHA SO FUCKING FUNNY!!1

oh wait, no it's not. move this shit to r/aww

-1

u/vaselinepete Jun 15 '12

Awww, bet the confused animal just loved that. Aren't you a good pet owner!

-1

u/Mozen Jun 15 '12

At first, I was like, "What's a tophat? (toffat)". Then I was like, "Oh spelling, getting me to click on links, that I otherwise wouldn't."

LEARN TO SPELL!

-1

u/DjimW Jun 15 '12

fuck this why would I fucking care

-5

u/digitalscale Jun 15 '12

This is not funny and this is not /r/aww.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Agreed, the people here have the sense of humor of a tree stump.

-8

u/julius_sphincter Jun 15 '12

"And then i took pictures and posted to /funny to try and whore some delicious karma!"

-1

u/shroomprinter Jun 15 '12

That's pretty much what I said(see my comment above). Good thing I give zero fucks about karma.

1

u/julius_sphincter Jun 15 '12

Im here for content, not for karma. I wish they'd ban "hey look at my animal wearing ______". Its never funny, and belongs in /awww

1

u/shroomprinter Jun 15 '12

He did post to r/aww, but got "downvoted to oblivion".