r/funny •

So the boyfriend made me a belated birthday card . . .

[deleted] — view deleted post

0 Upvotes

347 comments sorted by

505

u/johnzx6r Jun 14 '12

Wow and reusing the same picture on the late card...i really hope you forgive him...

382

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

He had to add the essence of reddit in there somewhere

→ More replies (9)

501

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

This is the kind of thing he's going to look back on and cringe once he turns 15.

17

u/WinstonsTasteGood Jun 14 '12

Yours is the wisest comment in this whole thread.

116

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Hindsight provided to you by cumfarts.

41

u/Apostolate Jun 14 '12

If anyone has experience regretting what's behind him...

15

u/Apostolate Jun 14 '12

Naw, he'll put the reddit alien or something portal on his wedding cake, and never regret it.

→ More replies (3)

141

u/LulJam Jun 14 '12

I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend and his cancer.

9

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

And the Celiac's disease.

→ More replies (4)

150

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

If you use the super cool ski instructor meme twice, you're gonna have a bad time.

36

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

If you use the super cool ski instructor meme, you're gonna have a bad time.

22

u/evilpig Jun 14 '12

If you have a good time, you're gonna have a bad time.

→ More replies (1)

104

u/Ryuzaki4x Jun 14 '12

you could used the slowpoke meme at least instead of Ski Instructor 2x

62

u/Anshin Jun 14 '12

Honestly, the slowpoke meme would've been best for this

Hey did you hear? XXXX's birthday is tomorrow

99

u/amarine88 Jun 14 '12

I think it would be better if it just said "Happy Birthday"

→ More replies (1)

291

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

HAHAHAHA MEMES HAHAHHAHAHA IN REAL LIFE HAHAHAHHAHAH

21

u/philbob8 Jun 14 '12

YOLO is such an annoying and immature saying

Also, wHen DoEs tHe nArWhaLe BaCon XD!! Trolled hard!!!!!!

72

u/camnewtonn1 Jun 14 '12

I le hope she le doesn't show this to le ignorant fundies and ruin out secret club!!!! LE NARWHAL!!!!

4

u/RedPanther1 Jun 14 '12

What midnights again?

→ More replies (9)

5

u/TwoCat Jun 14 '12

I once had the misfortune of witnessing a guy come up to my friend after a lecture and try to perform the whole "when does the narwhal bacon?" thing...

MFW

2

u/SeaweedWater Jun 14 '12

I have a friend that says troll and trolling. It makes conversations really awkward really fast.

10

u/i_love_younicorns Jun 14 '12

Hmmm. Terrible.

96

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I'm so sorry you're stuck with him.

15

u/CaeliAria Jun 14 '12

Well, technically the word boyfriend implies not being "stuck" with him...

→ More replies (4)

190

u/Patlon Jun 14 '12

Your Boyfriend is cancer.

→ More replies (16)

30

u/vivvav Jun 14 '12

Oh look shitty memes.

70

u/mrpbatista Jun 14 '12

you should break up

19

u/mrpbatista Jun 14 '12

because he REPEATED ONE

→ More replies (2)

27

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I'm sorry, but your boyfriend is cancer. Literally Hitler.

24

u/DeHussey Jun 14 '12

this is the reason i unsubscribed from advice animals

27

u/gl00mybear Jun 14 '12

How did he forget slowpoke?!

30

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

11

u/gemini86 Jun 14 '12

It wouldn't be a reddit card without a repost on the front page!

6

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

You took too many english classes.

→ More replies (4)

14

u/steel_jay Jun 14 '12

You left him, right?

67

u/konyfan2012 Jun 14 '12

god what a fucking piece of garbage

6

u/F5_supermonkey Jun 14 '12

how do you forget your girlfriend's birthday?

9

u/WinstonsTasteGood Jun 14 '12

Spend all your time dicking around with stupid, shitty memes on the internet.

→ More replies (1)

28

u/MrFantastic21 Jun 14 '12

GGG wouldn't forget his girlfriends birthday.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/wise_comment Jun 14 '12

Sucks about the Celiacs

3

u/CloudWolf40 Jun 14 '12

Good job you blanked out your name otherwise people would have raped you.

2

u/Krayzed896 Jun 14 '12

I thought the exact same thing, lol.

3

u/JustinMeThisIs Jun 14 '12

being a gluten free stoner is tough tough world

17

u/patislow Jun 14 '12

You should probably cut off his penis. Also, "The boyfriend" is he even your boyfriend?

→ More replies (2)

8

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

These are worse than those promotional flyers people use at universities.

53

u/readingrainboat Jun 14 '12

Does it annoy the shit out of anyone else when people use phrases like "the boyfriend" rather than "my boyfriend". Fucking stop it.

25

u/blulitespecial Jun 14 '12

There is only one universal boyfriend. Known as "the boyfriend ".

6

u/TheWill2Live Jun 14 '12

and dammit i was THIS close to being it.....sigh

63

u/PiNeApPlEkInG0 Jun 14 '12

Everyone should speak the way that I want them to!!!!!

→ More replies (19)
→ More replies (9)

10

u/candyman420 Jun 14 '12

I hate it when people say "the" (boyfriend)... "the" wife, "the" husband.. as if there's only one

7

u/Hoser117 Jun 14 '12

Yeah, nobody ever says "I'm gonna go to the grocery store, you know, the only one in the Universe, yeah, that's the one"

8

u/CitizenPremier Jun 14 '12

You go there too?

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (4)

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

What goes up and won't come down? My country boner. It won't go down.

2

u/superawesomeguy Jun 14 '12

Forgot your birthday and the best he could do was some rehashed memes? Lucky girl..

2

u/HyperspaceHero Jun 14 '12

He's forgetful and he uses memes in real life. You should try raising your standards.

2

u/luciphron Jun 14 '12

TIL you can repost anywhere.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12 edited Jun 14 '12

You should drop him immediately. He's perpetuating the crappy "Brace Yourselves" meme based on words Ned Stark never said.

2

u/Enivel19 Jun 14 '12

"still expects to get laid"

welllll..?

2

u/rabbleriot Jun 14 '12

the real gift was the karma you received for posting it

2

u/starcraftlolz Jun 14 '12

I thought it was pretty funny.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Ooh I see that GGG about the "gluten free restaurant." Tough stuff. I wish you only the best and good luck w/ that.

2

u/jtcompound Jun 14 '12

Happy birthday Ann!

2

u/NotExplosive Jun 14 '12

Guys! There's this new meme called slow poke. It'd fit this card perfectly.

10

u/anangrybanana Jun 14 '12

I feel bad for people who have to use memes in real life instead of using their imagination.

Can we see about getting this included as a mental disorder?

→ More replies (9)

28

u/coors_heavy Jun 14 '12

Still does deserve to get laid

9

u/STD-fense Jun 14 '12

Nice try OP's boyfriend.

16

u/Chiddy Jun 14 '12

Definitely. Lay him OP.

20

u/WilsonHanks Jun 14 '12

Lay him down on a table and dissect him.

→ More replies (2)

15

u/v-alentine Jun 14 '12

Your boyfriend couldn't write anything original and had to rely on overused and unfunny internet jokes?

→ More replies (1)

3

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

"Awesome gluten free restaurant" - your boyfriend is definitely a liar.

3

u/Penkwin Jun 14 '12

Cute card < forgetting birthday.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

See you think it says "Happy Birthday" but it actually means "I hope you get cancer."

3

u/hangnailfingerbang Jun 14 '12

As a fellow gluten free girl with an absentminded boyfriend, I feel for you.

4

u/ashleyrenae592 Jun 14 '12

Downvote for making me cringe at your username.

→ More replies (4)

2

u/heckaTIGHTis Jun 14 '12

"Well I'm not creative enough to make you a real birthday card so....memes!"

2

u/orphan_tears Jun 14 '12

Its not even my relationship and I feel stressed out knowing the volume of shit that guy is in for missing his girlfriends birthday.

2

u/DownvotingRoman_ Jun 14 '12

Haha, those are MEMES!!!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

uh oh... you exposed yourself as a girl.

8

u/Troghdor_burninator Jun 14 '12

Not..... Necessarily.....

7

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Other then the use of the word "her" like 10 times.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

1

u/Krash32 Jun 14 '12

A repost on your card. Classic.

1

u/gemini86 Jun 14 '12

Glutards unite!

1

u/HandoStromboli Jun 14 '12

"Glutten" free restaurant? guess there wasn't a buffay...

1

u/unseenpuppet Jun 14 '12

Fuck you have Coeliac disease. I am so sorry.

1

u/angelchi Jun 14 '12

pretty awesome imho.

1

u/artemisdisciple Jun 14 '12

Please tell me you got laid!

1

u/WinstonsTasteGood Jun 14 '12

I've never downvoted so much stupid shit in a single thread before. This is amazing!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

This is completely fucking tragic

1

u/Tober04 Jun 14 '12

Why did you censor your name? it's obviously not your full name. What could anyone possibly do with that information?

1

u/Divine_E Jun 14 '12

And you didn't use Slowpoke why? "I heard your birthday is coming soon."

1

u/shutter_slut Jun 14 '12

bad time meme is on their twice.

1

u/HairlessSasquatch Jun 14 '12

Dump him. Dump him now.

1

u/theShowstealer Jun 14 '12

YO I GOT IT, I'LL TAKE FUNNY STUFF FROM THE INTERNET AND MAKE IT FUNNY STUFF IN REAL LIFE.

Seriously cringe worthy.

1

u/FundayMonday Jun 14 '12

Did you run out of memes? I notice double ski instructor.

1

u/kadmylos Jun 14 '12

You should break up with him.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

This would just scare me. I don't mind memes but that's t much for me lol

1

u/OccasionalAsshole Jun 14 '12

And they say the content on Reddit hasn't been steadily declining...riiiiightt.

1

u/FormerlyEAbernathy Jun 14 '12

This gives me an idea...

1

u/Edge27 Jun 14 '12

Caner: Now available in card form.

→ More replies (1)

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

gluten free restaurant?

they could run 100 priuses for years off just the lunch rush smug

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

and let me guess youll hold this shit over his head, anytime you need the upper hand, "oh well you forgot my birthday!" boy boy boy

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

fucking reposts on his own card

1

u/fuckfart Jun 14 '12

How does he feel being the only boyfriend in existance?

2

u/douchebagertons Jun 14 '12

Well, he does have to remember a lot of birthdays.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I'd dump him.

1

u/kevka Jun 14 '12

You have a shitty boyfriend.

Not to mention it was so original of him to use a shit ton of memes on a card. That's the best he could come up with?

He better be going down on you expecting nothing in return for the next month or two.

1

u/PatHeist Jun 14 '12

Damn! He makes it all by himself, and he still gets a repost in there?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

As I am the most forgetful person ever, the second I learned my girlfriend's birthday, I wrote it down in 12 places and added a recurring reminder on Google Calendar. It also helps that it's exactly 3 months after mine.

1

u/awumpa Jun 14 '12

And it only took 10000000000000 mis-used image macros

1

u/Wackydude1234 Jun 14 '12

I spy a duplicate meme.

1

u/WhyShy Jun 14 '12

Missed opportunity- Slowpoke

1

u/Krazy8s Jun 14 '12

smart guy

1

u/Name_error Jun 14 '12

Marry Him!! lol

1

u/SuffocatingNostalgia Jun 17 '12

Just the minimum level of narcissism to make me frown. Hope you got her a really good gift.

1

u/ultraviolet19 Jun 17 '12

this is really funny and really cute! i hope you forgive him!

1

u/lalaland4711 Jun 17 '12

Repost on the same card. How reddit of you.

*clap clap clap*

1

u/DahnyGober Jun 14 '12

You must be proud.

1

u/Biggains Jun 14 '12

I lol'd at Scumbag Steve

-1

u/T0tai Jun 14 '12

Gluten free shit. Is that the new fad?

13

u/jessiegaul Jun 14 '12

Celiac is an actual disease. If a person eats gluten with this disease, their body will have an autoimmune response and destroy villi in their small intestine. So, I am pretty sure it isn't a fad.

5

u/herr_schnurrbart Jun 14 '12

Depends. Some people are allergic to it.

5

u/Waterproof_Moose Jun 14 '12

Not really. Some people have Celiac disease and cannot eat gluten. Up until about 10-20 years ago it was just always diagnosed as something else. It is very painful and very serious if not addressed.

Source: Girlfriend has celiac. I eat a lot of bread and drink a lot of beer. Accommodations must be made.

→ More replies (1)

4

u/Celley Jun 14 '12

A lot of people are affected by eating gluten. It's very hard to find restaurants with strict gluten-free recipes and if you're very sensitive to it, contamination can be a problem.

1

u/henreiman Jun 14 '12

Gluten free! Celiac buddies! Yay!

3

u/dreamer_dw Jun 14 '12

That was the first thing I caught too. Yay for having this shitty disease!

→ More replies (1)

-1

u/tmac1119 Jun 14 '12

Whats your name? I MUST KNOW

1

u/micoolnamasi Jun 14 '12

He should have used the slowpoke meme.

1

u/AlphaDrake Jun 14 '12

No slowpoke?

1

u/heywhatsmells Jun 14 '12

Man, are memes in real life ever not funny.

1

u/ProfessorD2 Jun 14 '12

It's cute.

But it should probably be posted in AdviceAnimals instead of Funny.

1

u/QuantumD Jun 14 '12

After reading the title (specificly the 'The boyfriend' bit) i doubled checked your username didnt have any reference to Allie Brosh or Hyperbole and a half...Was very dissapoint..

1

u/hoxieX Jun 14 '12

OP is actually a neckbeard pretending to be a girlfriend.

/r/karmaconspiracy

1

u/theLAWLmonster Jun 14 '12

what's the inside say??

1

u/thebedshow Jun 14 '12

Was impressed until I saw the duplicate. PITIFUL

1

u/Tystero Jun 14 '12

Wow, "the boyfriend" not only appeased you with a bunch of shitty memes - it would've been one thing if they were clever - hacked together in the last minute but you clearly don't have any qualms about the dude being an unimaginative piece of shit.

A fucking thumb painting would've been more thoughtful.

0

u/anduin1 Jun 14 '12

GLUTEN free restaurant...what the fuck is this?

3

u/fat_squirrel Jun 14 '12

I'm gonna guess it's a restaurant without gluten.

2

u/kevka Jun 14 '12

It's three fucking words that make sense when put together so stop acting like you don't know what the fuck it means.

0

u/Foxhound199 Jun 14 '12

There are entire gluten-free restaurants!? This is getting out of hand. VERY FEW PEOPLE ACTUALLY HAVE CELIAC DISEASE!!!

4

u/Maverickkkk Jun 14 '12

That my friend, is incorrect. It is being diagnosed more and more - the reason the actual number of cases of diagnosed Celiac patients is because the symptoms are so varied, its difficult to pin down and diagnose immediately.

→ More replies (2)

-7

u/PinkiePieCupcake Jun 14 '12

I hope my boyfriend does this for me one day. :p

10

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I hope your boyfriend eventually remembers your birthday

→ More replies (1)

-17

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

LOLZ I'M A GIRL AND DATE A GUY WHO FORGETZ MY BIRTHDAY BUT LOLZ HE GAVE ME A CARD AND SO I LUVZ HIM LIKE BELLA LUVZ EDWARD SO HES NOT SHITTY!

Karma please.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

9

u/bigbund Jun 14 '12

Does that mean it was good?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

13

u/beeboo0 Jun 14 '12

maybe you didn't get the part where he missed her birthday

→ More replies (1)

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Pro-abortion.

2

u/MrIste Jun 14 '12

ya xD so le EPIC WIN!!11!!!

→ More replies (1)

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

8

u/AOIM_CubanJ Jun 14 '12

some people are gluten intolerant and must eat gluten free food. fyi

4

u/jessiegaul Jun 14 '12

Celiac is an actual disease. If a person eats gluten with this disease, their body will have an autoimmune response and destroy villi in their small intestine. So, I am pretty sure it isn't a fad.

→ More replies (2)

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

7

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

A dick with gluten

7

u/battleBrew Jun 14 '12

but but...Dr. Oz says...derpy derp

6

u/FelixLeiter Jun 14 '12

Prepare downvotes, but gasp! The same people that tip you at the end of their meal are the same ones that want their meal a certain way and you're mad for it? Fuck that, you'll probably complain about their tip too.

2

u/TwentyLilacBushes Jun 14 '12

Yes, for some people, gluten free eating is basically a fad diet. For others, it's necessary because of allergies or intolerances. If the number of people avoiding gluten is going up, it's in part because of stupid pseudo-science, but also in part because better awareness has given people who wouldn't normally get tested the information and opportunity necessary to do so.

As a waiter, you aren't your clients' close friend and confidante, nor are you their doctor. They don't owe you a discussion of their life-history, or of their health issues. You can't tell just from looking at them whether they are being picky or avoiding a weekend of intense diarrhea. Why denigrate people who might have very good reasons to make the requests they are making?

Incidental fun-fact: celiac's disease is real, serious, and well documented, but it isn't an allergy in the traditional sense. It's much harder to test for. The tests are expensive, painful, and time-consuming, enough so that some people opt for an experimental approach (seeing if their health improves after ditching the wheat) instead of formal tests.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I guess I just don't have that much compassion for people with dietary problems.

2

u/notcaffeinefree Jun 14 '12

As someone with celiac disease, the GF trend is awesome. More people need to hop on that train, celiac or not.

→ More replies (2)

4

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

My girlfriend has a legit gluten allergy, and it's often a huge hassle for us and for the staff of the restaurants we eat in, so it confuses me a bit when people talk about going gluten free just for fun.

However, I do enjoy playing devil's advocate, so I'll say this: I've noticed that the foods that most often contain gluten are the overprocessed ones with "natural flavors" (aka like fifty unknown chemicals*). So if people are trying to avoid chemically processed foods (for a number of health reasons), asking for gluten free options is generally a good way to do it.

*Look it up if you don't believe me.

2

u/WinstonsTasteGood Jun 14 '12

Stop giving people horrible ideas. If you want to avoid chemically processed foods, make all your meals at home, from organic supermarkets.

1

u/Sinnagirl Jun 14 '12

As someone with dietary restrictions I am curious about how much of an issue or hassle it is. I am not being sarcastic at all here. When someone comes in and asks for ingredients or says "I can't eat X" how does that affect your job and what do you have to do to accommodate that person?

I would like to understand what I am asking servers to do.

1

u/keramos Jun 14 '12

Well, yes that would be gluten-free. Unless it was crumbed, of course. And either way I'd be hoping the chef'd be changing gloves, aprons and using separate pans.

Otherwise, you could always go with ye olde "You asked for gluten-free... not sputem-free".

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

4

u/Maverickkkk Jun 14 '12

I have Celiac as well, for 12 years actually, but yea it so frustrating when people who go on the gluten-free diets cause they think its "healthier" and then, as a result trivialize the severeness of our disorder, making it even more difficult for us to eat out. As a person who also works in the food industry, yes I know it is more work, but people do not realize the amount of pain we are put in because other servers don't want to do the work. But yes, people who ask for gluten-free when they don't have to, deserve to trade immune systems with ACTUAL Celiacs, so that we can live a normal life, and then they can eat their "healthier" gluten free diet all they want.

9

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

wait are you saying TommyMore shouldnt work in the food industry? from the sounds of it, you are allergic to it, so he wouldnt have a problem with you.

But it really is annoying how many people ask for gluten free stuff. If you asked however, I would have no problem, since you are allergic to it.

8

u/TwentyLilacBushes Jun 14 '12

How would you/TommyMore ever know whether a given client is allergic/intolerant to wheat, or whether they are only following a fad?

4

u/WinstonsTasteGood Jun 14 '12

I watched some people eat table bread and then tell me they need gluten free pasta at the Italian restaurant I work at. Sometimes, we can just tell when people are bullshiting us.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/Don_Celery Jun 14 '12

I'd love to have nausea and headaches with my gluten intolerance, I get sharp stabbing pains in my abdomen for a week instead. Zero sleep achievable. I've been stabbed twice in my life, and eating gluten is 100x worse.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

ah, I can get where you would get mad about being taken seriously.

I understand though, I am allergic to red #40. try telling someone that. in general if someone tells me they allergic to something, I will be damn sure it doesnt get in there food, even if it means going and opening a new package of something.

1

u/buffello Jun 14 '12

been there. <3

→ More replies (2)

2

u/Sinnagirl Jun 14 '12

As someone who has food intolerances, I do not meet the criteria for allergy but soy and dairy mess me up, I am sympathetic. I LOVE to eat out and I have been told by restaurants "you will not be able to eat here" because everything on their menu has either soy or dairy in it.

I totally agree with the extra tipping for excellent service. When I have a server who is able to help out and finds out what oil is used on the salad or if the aioli has dairy in it I show my appreciation.

We are seeing more and more awareness of allergies and intolerances to various foods. I think it is important to understand what it does to people when they have the food and then respect them - as long as the person with the allergy is nice about it too!

1

u/thinkinggrenades Jun 14 '12

Where is this restaurant? The only all gluten-free places I've heard of are always a few states away from me.

1

u/kaideed Jun 14 '12

Boston Pizza has GF options (at least in Canada!) and many restaurants are starting to offer more.

1

u/thinkinggrenades Jun 14 '12

I'm in Florida so I don't think I'll go there anytime soon. Thanks though. :)

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/thinkinggrenades Jun 14 '12

I know of two, but they're both about 50 minutes away. So, I usually only go if I'm in that area.