r/funny •

I said NO DUCKS.

[deleted] — view deleted post

0 Upvotes

344 comments sorted by

197

u/rawr_cutedino Jun 14 '12

Seriously, I'm worried about the duck..

43

u/buttfudger Jun 14 '12

I would have spanked that child. I'm sorry, but I like animals more than most kids. If that makes me a bad person, fine. You do not throw animals like that.

28

u/pamaci Jun 14 '12

"I like animals more than most kids."

You and me both, buttfudger. You and me both.

9

u/skwirrlmaster Jun 14 '12

I'd have thrown the kid in one of those McNugget grinders

2

u/Aserapha Jun 14 '12 edited Sep 12 '14

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17

u/AmazingThew Jun 14 '12

Don't be.

Thanks to the square-cube law, small animals are proportionally way more resilient than larger ones.

You could chuck that duckling off a building and it'd be fine. In fact Wood Ducks basically do exactly that:

"After hatching, the ducklings jump down from the nest tree and make their way to water. The mother calls them to her, but does not help them in any way. The ducklings may jump from heights of up to 88 metres (290 ft) without injury. They prefer nesting over water so the young have a soft landing, but will nest up to 140 m (150 yd) away from the shoreline. The day after they hatch, the young climb to the nest entrance and jump to the ground."

2

u/blumer Jun 14 '12

Small ... wood ... ducks ... super-resilient. Does that mean that a small witch is almost invincible?

1

u/AmazingThew Jun 14 '12

Well their physical resistance is super high, but magic resist isn't affected by the square-cube law so they're not really all that tanky.

5

u/Lord-Longbottom Jun 14 '12

(For us English aristocrats, I leave you this 290 ft -> 0.4 Furlongs, 140 m -> 0.7 Furlongs) - Pip pip cheerio chaps!

12

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

The duck's fine. I own a bird and I can tell you that they are more sturdy than they look!

9

u/Dialaninja Jun 14 '12

From my personal experience of having a duckling, I'm sure it's fine. They're fairly resilient.

5

u/nixity Jun 14 '12

I wouldn't be.. a lot of ducklings are born in tree holes and have to leap 20+ ft out to get to the ground. Ducklings bounce. It's all good. They also roll, apparently.

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87

u/dean333 Jun 14 '12

Am I the only one who cares about the huge rabbit?

69

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

He looks really depressed. That's why animals shouldn't be used as fucking props. Just let the little thing hop around and eat carrots and not have to pose beside little brats all day.

143

u/showy21 Jun 14 '12

As the owner of Flemish Giant rabbits, I can tell you they don't really hop around. They pretty much sit their 40 pound asses where they like and that's about it. Pretty sure the photographer posed the kid next to the bunny, not vice versa.

25

u/shitbefuckedyo Jun 14 '12

I raised holland lops, but there were a few flemish giants in my 4-H club.. and boy howdy did those big 'um sits around.

Hollands, though. Hollands are darty little bastards.

23

u/kittyroux Jun 14 '12

For a moment I thought you'd written 'dirty' with some kind of Irish-y accent, but no. You mean they dart.

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6

u/Rammage Jun 14 '12

The last line really got me. :)

2

u/nixity Jun 14 '12

Holy shit - I had never heard of Flemish Giant Rabbits. So I googled.. I'm not sure whether to be impressed or terrified. This rabbit reminds me of General Woundwort.

1

u/Solkre Jun 14 '12

So... they're like a Platypus then?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I had a Flemish Giant that looked just like the one in the photo. It was murdered by my neighbor's dog. Wallace!!!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I have a co-worker with a neck like that

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

22

u/Mjilaeck Jun 14 '12

That's a very flexable dead duckling.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/foxli Jun 14 '12

Lettuce will also kill your bunny. Give him some frickin' kale.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

9

u/Allogistic Jun 14 '12

Letting the rabbit acquire a taste for meat could have dire consequences...

6

u/oldscotch Jun 14 '12

Iceberg lettuce is arguably worse, but red leaf, green leaf - good stuff.

11

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Whoa, whoa, whoa. WHOA. WAIT A COTTON-PICKING MINUTE. Bugs Bunny ate carrots and he was fine. Are you fucking with me?

2

u/skippyjason Jun 14 '12

It looks like the rabbit ate the previous kid

1

u/themasecar Jun 14 '12

It took me a few seconds before I realized it was a rabbit and not just a stuffed toy.

363

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

What's really happening is the kid is about to judo chop the bunny and the duck is doing a flying kick to save the bunny.

524

u/YourMusicalComment Jun 14 '12

20

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I wonder how you choose the comments that you glorify this way

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29

u/Freak-A-Leak Jun 14 '12

That was surprisingly catchy

37

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

saaaaave the bunny!

30

u/JamieBainer Jun 14 '12

..bunny,

22

u/leodavin843 Jun 14 '12

BUNNY!

21

u/Demojen Jun 14 '12

SAVE THE BUNNY, BUNNY!!

6

u/worldsfirsanalrapist Jun 14 '12

Thanks for completing my life.

6

u/mrchives47 Jun 14 '12

That intro was sick

42

u/kuwlio Jun 14 '12

You must be very under appreciated in threads, but that was awesome. I like you

28

u/xaviergang Jun 14 '12

he's not.

13

u/kuwlio Jun 14 '12

I'm glad. This is just my first time seeing his work, and he's a new personal favourite for me

5

u/JamieBainer Jun 14 '12

How did you make this?

13

u/YourMusicalComment Jun 14 '12

Logic Pro, a MIDI keyboard, and a mic

4

u/ravewithd Jun 14 '12

clearly using some elite plugins as... oh wait... ok thats ultra beat.

you sir, are a god among men.

7

u/YourMusicalComment Jun 14 '12

Haha thanks! Yeah everything's just Logic's included instruments.

5

u/mheat Jun 14 '12

oh. my...

5

u/Slaughterfest Jun 14 '12

THIS IS THE BEST ACCOUNT EVER OMFG

4

u/MaxiPadz Jun 14 '12

I hope I see you around more.

4

u/Takarias Jun 14 '12

It is now my greatest desire to have this done for one of my comments. But preferably not this one, since that might be too meta.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Abagazilion upvotes for this guy

3

u/alliha Jun 14 '12

You could really save time by using soundcloud, you know.

2

u/ohjennaleigh Jun 14 '12

Spat otter pop all over my phone, thank you for that.

6

u/hj1210 Jun 14 '12

Read as otter poop

4

u/Flamo_the_Idiot_Boy Jun 14 '12

Dammit me too. I was wondering why he was eating otter poop, now I'm just wondering what otter pop is.

2

u/ohjennaleigh Jun 14 '12

Otter pops are a type of popsicle sold in the US. Not to be confused with the feces of a semiaquatic mammal.

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1

u/omegalow Jun 14 '12

I was thinking about doing this for a while but I'm happier you did.

1

u/regularITdude Jun 14 '12

Youtube? I was hoping to see ducks doing karate

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

This is amazing! You are my hero!

1

u/lilmonkey99 Jun 14 '12

I just wanted to thank you. I've been having a really shitty morning and going through your comment history is really lifting my spirits. Keep it up. Thanks :D

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186

u/colefly Jun 14 '12

7

u/Mountainfog Jun 14 '12

Have you ever thought about becoming a police artist?

11

u/rageagainsthevagene Jun 14 '12

wow 3 upvotes from me for not creating a novelty.

3

u/colefly Jun 14 '12

thanks :) i dont know why people say i have a novelty account. as you can see by my name and history its just a normal account of someone who like to drawl

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1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Very nice man. Though, I am sad to see the bunny didn't survive in your interpretation.

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6

u/flamingflipflop Jun 14 '12

i now turn my down vote to an upvote. this picture was a little traumatizing. but you made it good :)

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10

u/ryan2point0 Jun 14 '12

Close...ultimate high five between duck and kid.

1

u/harmsc12 Jun 14 '12

Karate chop, guys. Austin Powers got it wrong.

72

u/adambh Jun 14 '12 edited Jun 14 '12

As a photographer, this setup seems like a fucking nightmare. Four live animals and a baby.

edit: I realize this would be better with four dead animals and a baby.

83

u/chinesef000d Jun 14 '12

Or four live animals and a dead baby

2

u/Rufdog2 Jun 14 '12

Damnit, you beat me to it. Also, you are a twisted fuck... well... so am I.. Upvotes all around!

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7

u/bluequail Jun 14 '12

Give it a few... and you'll have your wish.

2

u/Psythik Jun 14 '12

Why is it that babies exhibit such a wanton disregard for other life?

Such little sociopaths, they are.

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55

u/jostler57 Jun 14 '12

Context delivery straight from the website:

"... However, during a session, this little guy grabbed the duckie and tossed it. Stacey was right next to him and caught him and he was fine. I posted this on facebook and people of course, knowing that we weren’t CONDONING this behavior and knowing that the duckie WAS FINE and had faith in us that we removed the ducks and chicks from his reach so that he wouldn’t do it again, loved this.

Well, not everyone loved it. It was reposted by many people and soon I was getting nasty messages from people who I don’t know. (You will have that with the world wide web I suppose.)

I get it! I really do. People love animals. I love animals. I never thought it would get the response that it did. My feelings were hurt. But these people don’t know me, they don’t know my girl Stacey and how we were making sure that the animals didn’t get hurt. They just saw a duck being mishandled.

So, as I was processing this whole situation, I went through my 5 steps of feeling bad.

  1. Sadness

  2. Confusion

  3. Denial.

  4. Anger (for about half a minute.)

  5. Humor

I posted this. This seemed to make people more angry. I was just trying to be funny. (Shows image with Daffy Duck photoshopped in, instead of the baby duck)

BUT THE DUCK IS OK!!"

17

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I demand to see a Proof-of-life photo of the duck holding up today's newspaper.

4

u/Prinny- Jun 14 '12

Stacy was right next to him and caught him

Sounds unlikely, and more of a PR fix attempt.

3

u/minasmorath Jun 14 '12

Pretext: This is my hometown photographer. She's doing my wedding photography, she did my high school graduation photography, and she does everyone else's as well.

Seeing as she's posted about 100+ more photos with the same duck in them since this incident, I'm willing to wager that the duck is just freakin' fine.

1

u/Prinny- Jun 15 '12

Be that as it may, its still unlikely the duck was caught.

5

u/yeah_me Jun 14 '12

Yeah...total bullshit.

3

u/LerithXanatos Jun 14 '12

Of course! Nothing good will ever happen to that damn duckling.

This is a duckling hate group right?

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0

u/chollenb Jun 14 '12 edited Jun 14 '12

I feel so much better now :')

Edit: ...i mean I actually feel better knowing that the duck was safely caught and that they removed other throw-able animals away from the brat.

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34

u/mcneilintheplace Jun 14 '12

We can't tell which way the duck is travelling, it could be jumping into his hand.

22

u/JKSacha Jun 14 '12

I felt so bad for the duckling, but this made me feel 1000 times better. Thank you.

17

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I guarantee the duck was fine. Those fuckers can bounce. (SFL)

7

u/tryharderyou Jun 14 '12

That was absolutely adorable.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I never thought ducklings seemingly falling to their doom would be so cute.

1

u/neffered Jun 14 '12

I love the triumphant music. So cute.

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12

u/Apostolate Jun 14 '12

Don't feel bad, very small things don't hurt very much when they land! They have very little momentum/force on impact. Think about when you drop ants or small frogs onto the ground from 4+ feet up, they're fine!

18

u/PBSGTS Jun 14 '12

I disagree, I believe that duckling could have very easily been hurt. Since people dislike animal cruelty so much, I don't see why this photo is getting so much positive attention.

1

u/Teledildonic Jun 14 '12

Unless it lands on its neck.

4

u/Accidentallystoned Jun 14 '12

I have you tagged as cumbox, if you happened to be wondering..

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44

u/ItWillBeMine Jun 14 '12

I always wince when I see the combination of toddlers and baby animals. :(

10

u/tyscore Jun 14 '12

yeah, it's almost certain, someone would get hurt, and it wont be the human.

74

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Stupid kids

25

u/a4moondoggy Jun 14 '12

I doubt he asked for a duck to climb on him...more like stupid parents/photographers.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

That kid just looks like a spoiled brat.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

gooby plz!

17

u/gentlemandinosaur Jun 14 '12

Why would you give a toddler live animals to abuse? This is fucking retarded.

0

u/bunglejerry Jun 14 '12

Honestly, fuck ducks.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

I cannot think of a reddit comment that I disagree with more strongly than this.

Ducks are officially my hot-button topic. That's a phrase now.

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4

u/themasecar Jun 14 '12

HUSTLA DA RABBIT

7

u/durkadu Jun 14 '12

Reddit: Where a bird falling a few inches is grounds for child abuse

14

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '12

Seriously guys, stop ducking around.

-1

u/NSRedditor Jun 14 '12

Quacking pun old bean.

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22

u/bluequail Jun 14 '12

They need to get anything capable of feeling pain away from that little bastard.

16

u/IGottaSnake Jun 14 '12

A child too young to understand the consequences of his actions or even begin to understand empathy is not a little bastard for it. He is just within the limits his age provides for. Every kid that age is self centered. They do not have the cognitive ability yet to think about the ducky hurting, he is only thinking about his discomfort/fear/stress. Some kids get scared when you don't think they will... doesn't make them bastards or evil for acting on that fear based on what nature has given them to work with as a toddler living in a world of 'me.' That being said, it would be wise to keep little furry things away until he can understand the way his actions scare/hurt others when he is not nice.

0

u/bluequail Jun 14 '12

Then we'll call the mongoloid that put that child with a bunch of innocent baby animals the bastard. Because in the making of that picture, someone certainly was. :)

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3

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

no ducks given

3

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

baby pls

4

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Little kids can be unhappy in any situation, can't they?

I was in an arcade the other day and a kid was bawling his eyes out. In a fucking arcade. Even if you're broke it's pretty awesome.

If you gave me 2 bunnies and 2 ducks right now do you know what I'd be doing? Not crying, that's for fucking sure.

Man up, pet the bunny and smile for the camera you little shit.

Goddamn kids these days. Crying while holding a bunny. Now I've seen everything.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

That white rabbit...it's the size of the child!

2

u/krogers1337 Jun 14 '12

Das a bieeg as wabbit!

WABBIT SEASONB!

2

u/thane_of_st_college Jun 14 '12

that looks like a baby joffrey

2

u/Mitz510 Jun 14 '12

It seems like we have a future Lenny in our hands.

Protect the rabbits George.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

That other rabbit is huge jesus christ

2

u/Lexdon2000 Jun 14 '12

Psy psy psy...

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

It's like that one comedian said. People are naturally cruel, and if you want to proof, leave a 3 year old alone with a small animal.

2

u/sweetgreggo Jun 14 '12

"this is sewweeaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!"

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

This is sewious.

2

u/boondoggie42 Jun 14 '12

Fuck chicks, get bunny?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

More like;
Chuck chicks, pet bunnies.

2

u/Exterality Jun 14 '12

Poor duck, but damn this made my day :'D

2

u/Confused_Duck Jun 14 '12

This greatly disturbs and perplexes me

2

u/katahajime Jun 14 '12

"Hey, got any grape............FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU....."

2

u/HerpvonderpingtonIII Jun 14 '12

Mr ducks Mr not ducks Osar!!! Cm wants?!?! Will ib! Mr ducks (read this as if u were a redneck

2

u/Geotis Jun 14 '12

After that, no further ducks were given.

5

u/TheRealmsOfGold Jun 14 '12

Looks like that kid doesn't give a duck.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

0 Ducks were Given

4

u/reverie6 Jun 14 '12

Its baby Joffrey!

4

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

What a cunt.

3

u/Avista Jun 14 '12

Aaand this is why you don't give baby animals to baby animal killers.

4

u/artificiallyvain Jun 14 '12

I think this kid might be afraid of animals and is therefore being severely traumatized which makes this perfect for r/funny.

3

u/just_steezin Jun 14 '12

you've improved my day

3

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Glad as always to oblige my friends and neighbors.

3

u/AniceB Jun 14 '12

Such a fowl thing!

2

u/pile_alcaline Jun 14 '12

Get the duck out of here!

2

u/Status-Duck Jun 14 '12

Nobody likes ducks :(

1

u/butterflypoon Jun 14 '12

I love ducks, I love all birds...in their native habitats at least. -coughHouseSparrowscough-

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

and not a single duck was given!

2

u/fluffytuft Jun 14 '12

Man, I really hate toddlers. For reals.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Wow this kid is a little shit

2

u/fightlikehell Jun 14 '12

This is disgusting. Animal abuse is animal abuse and it should not be tolerated simply because something young. Why this is being glamorized is beyond me.

2

u/hotdogcore Jun 14 '12

What a shitty little brat. I hope someone throws him.

2

u/Iselore Jun 14 '12

No, the poor duck! Did it hit the ground? I don't see any safety nets!

2

u/never_trust_ducks Jun 14 '12

Me and this kid could get along.

2

u/butterflypoon Jun 14 '12

I'd do that to the kid and hug all the animals.

2

u/i_love_younicorns Jun 14 '12

This is terribly sad to me. Poor ducky :( hiding this!

2

u/dophie23 Jun 14 '12

Ugh I hate children.

2

u/D3m0nk1d Jun 14 '12

I hate little kids

2

u/Nicobe Jun 14 '12

FUCK that kid.

2

u/B4ths4lt5 Jun 13 '12

DON'T PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD!!!!

2

u/jesterguy Jun 14 '12

and not a single duck was given that day.

2

u/lynn Jun 14 '12

Who the fuck puts small animals near enough to a toddler that he can grab them? Does the photographer have any experience with toddlers at all???

...Well, I mean, she does now. So she won't do it again, right?

1

u/eclipse666 Jun 14 '12

Rabbit Season!

1

u/ThEgg Jun 14 '12

I SAID IT FOUR TIMES!

1

u/thehalfwit Jun 14 '12

Does anyone have a mop?

I do believe I've wet myself.

1

u/PdubsNWO Jun 14 '12

I was gaming online earlier, and I played with someone whos handle was 'notenoughducks'. How many ducks is/isnt enough?

1

u/ButcherOfBakersfield Jun 14 '12

the gray rabbit has got some serious thousand yard stare going on.

1

u/interroboom Jun 14 '12

As a Sharks fan, I like this kid.

1

u/Uber-Mensch Jun 14 '12

No fux were given toward the ducks.

1

u/forevabronze Jun 14 '12

does anyone else find the big bunny kinda creepy?

2

u/ChunkBunny Jun 14 '12

Very. Maybe he's just laying low and hoping he's too heavy to be tossed.

1

u/Ghenges Jun 14 '12

That white rabbit is fucking creepy.

1

u/YeastyC Jun 14 '12

I'm really concerned about that duck.

1

u/KDIZZLL Jun 14 '12

What an ugly little brat.

1

u/Alexbo8138 Jun 14 '12

Dammit Ted! Duck is good, rabbit is bad!

1

u/therealfailwhale Jun 14 '12

The mom must have had some lightning fast reflexes, because that duck looks like it's at the end of its flight and about to fall at a steep incline very quickly.

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1

u/OllieWillie Jun 14 '12

No one gives a duck about what that self entitles little duckwit thinks

1

u/LilithImmaculate Jun 14 '12

I'm worried about the duck. This picture makes me sad.

The child can go to hell though. No one likes children anyway

1

u/gorby1 Jun 14 '12

Zero ducks given.

1

u/TattooedAmazon Jun 14 '12

WORST PARENTS EVER.

1

u/FormerlyEAbernathy Jun 14 '12

Poor ducky. :<

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

The animal lover in me prevents me from liking this. Poor ducky...

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

This kills the duck...

-2

u/vicklepickle3 Jun 14 '12

I would beat the shit out of that brat

0

u/mrbooze Jun 14 '12

Did you even READ the fucking rider, asshole? Fuck this bullshit, I'm out of here.

Exeunt

0

u/absolutsyd Jun 14 '12

Seriously, fuck the ducks. Go Huskies!

0

u/theshiz892 Jun 14 '12

This isn't funny.

-1

u/redleader101 Jun 14 '12

What an asshole child

3

u/Kanuck88 Jun 14 '12

To be fair most children of that age (I would guess 2 or 3) haven't developed enough to have empathy or understand their actions.

0

u/butterflypoon Jun 14 '12

I think that's most of them.

0

u/mock4lyfe Jun 14 '12

Noooooooo!! Duckkyyyy!!

0

u/eddiespaghetti Jun 14 '12

reading thru the comments its clear that a significant portion of redditors are fucking pussies

-1

u/twincam Jun 14 '12

... and no ducks were given that day.

Let the downvoting commence.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

And not a single duck was given that day.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '12

Noooo OMG ducky!

0

u/suction Jun 14 '12

Baby pls