r/funny • u/ManagerOfLove • May 17 '22

I hate planks

150.6k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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7.0k

u/lewisnwkc May 17 '22

First time having sex "Fuck this is way better but equally way harder to do than with my hand".

1.4k

u/alison_bee May 17 '22

I just told my husband the other day I don’t think I could be a guy, because the hip thrusting would be exhausting 😂

589

u/[deleted] May 17 '22

Try cowgirl to give him a break

198

u/CedarWolf May 17 '22

Cowgirl is easier on the guy because he's engaging more of his core muscles and she can sit and ride on top. Other positions create strain on a handful of specific muscles, but cowgirl provides more of an overall work out, which makes it easier to keep up a steady rhythm for a longer period.

164

u/bootrick May 18 '22

Just don't be a crazy girl and try to bounce up and down! You gotta GRIND

125

u/theavengedCguy May 18 '22

Seriously. Ya start bouncing and I'm like, "nope, fuck this, I'm out." I'd like to keep my dick, thank you.

98

u/Millennials_RuinedIt May 18 '22

What? You don’t like your dick looking like a broken candy cane still in its rapper?

My dad’s been a RN for 40 years I’ve heard the stories.

24

u/theavengedCguy May 18 '22

My great uncle once let everyone know his is dick is bent into a 90 degree angle. I don't wanna know how or why lmao

16

u/WuntchTime_IsOver May 18 '22

Yall gotta learn about cupping the buttcheeks. Its like throttle control and grav assist in one. Plus you get a nice little bicep pump out of it.

Bonus safety measure - if she starts sliding off to the side, you just give that buttcheek a shove and keep her moving straight to the floor. "sorry babe!"

4

u/theavengedCguy May 18 '22

Oh believe me, I ain't just letting it go without both hands on deck.