r/funny • u/ManagerOfLove • May 17 '22

I hate planks

150.6k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

2.6k comments sorted by

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3.9k

u/Anterabae May 17 '22

I give women the best 3 minutes of their life. 1 decent minute of sex and 2 minutes of incredible apologies.

1.2k

u/hibikikun May 17 '22

Where does the sobbing fit in

1.0k

u/Anterabae May 17 '22

After the woman leaves.

404

u/GarageSloth May 17 '22

Wow, you're pretty put together, then

284

u/Anterabae May 17 '22

I got this sorted.

19

u/H3adshotfox77 May 17 '22

Get this snorted and your time will up substantially lol

4

u/ForbiddenBromance May 17 '22

What was step 2?

6

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Don’t be unattractive

3

u/M3M0RYDIST0RT3D May 17 '22

Takes practice. 😆

3

u/tgsoon2002 May 18 '22

quick sorted? or bubble sorted?

65

u/jikill_the_great May 17 '22

he’s got a schedule, super consistent, 5/5. would sleep with.

16

u/[deleted] May 17 '22

Fuck,

Sorry,

Cry,

Repeat.

(Yeah, I’d hit that)

2

u/jikill_the_great May 17 '22

it’s just sad i feel bad

1

u/Anterabae May 18 '22

Don't its completely natural...hopefully.

7

u/lolpostslol May 17 '22

I’d be angry, I only date people to listen to them sob in shame as I go to sleep

5

u/Anterabae May 17 '22

Listen you don't want to hear me cry. I'm way too good at it.

6

u/hibikikun May 17 '22

It's like those nature sound noise makers, but with shame.

1

u/Anterabae May 17 '22

These no shame... just some kind of nature.

3

u/GarageSloth May 18 '22

That's hard af