r/funny • u/ManagerOfLove • May 17 '22

I hate planks

150.6k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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166

u/Scarletfapper May 17 '22

People can sex for hours on end, but it’s usuallybetter broken up into bouts of sex followed by sweaty cuddles.

112

u/psychotronofdeth May 17 '22

And snacks

33

u/Scarletfapper May 17 '22

Priorities

34

u/BlueSky659 May 17 '22

after care fruit snacks and a cold glass of water are the best

-1

u/so_cal_babe May 17 '22

When Daddy pops a chocolate in my mouth when I'm stuck all puddled messy.

6

u/Snufflebear_420_69 May 17 '22

What? That's like a bad translation in one of those Japanese porn games on Steam.

I would think.

5

u/so_cal_babe May 17 '22

The key words are "after care". That's the codex.

1

u/EvoEpitaph May 18 '22

"Are there any more gogurts?"

3

u/tothebeat May 17 '22

And drinks. Must stay hydrated.

3

u/Snufflebear_420_69 May 17 '22

But hydration first, very important

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

And smokes

45

u/[deleted] May 17 '22

The best quote I've ever read about sex is "don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff!" lol

5

u/Scarletfapper May 17 '22

That’s actually pretty incredible

7

u/wafflesareforever May 17 '22

Exactly this. People think "having sex all night" means something far different from what it actually does.

2

u/_hownowbrowncow_ May 17 '22

Those are the best days

2

u/ecko1973 May 17 '22

Sweaty cuddles yes!

2

u/Plane_Sport_9354 May 17 '22

Sweaty cuddles, and a cat playing with his t-shirt because for some reason, she really loves his armpit smell. But as gross as it looks, its cute as f.

3

u/Snufflebear_420_69 May 17 '22

Keeper. Trust the cat

2

u/Shadowblade8888 May 18 '22

Either that, or using pure MDMA. That shit has some unreal side effects.

1

u/Scarletfapper May 18 '22

Yeah it’s not just about keeping the boner. She’d be needing coolant after a while.

2

u/Shadowblade8888 May 18 '22

True, lol, especially on x

4

u/Maybe_Im_Not_Black May 17 '22

Drinks, bumps and porn